Hello, hello! It's another ridiculous story from me! This fic was inspired by seeing an abandoned pair of pants in my apartment complex. They were there for a few days, and then they disappeared. Whether that means someone found their pants, or someone else disposed of them, I don't know, but I thought it was funny, so I figured I'd share it. I swear, you might think my college town is crazy –and you'd be right—but stuff like this doesn't happen all that often. I'm not one to waste such a bizarre opportunity(?), so here is the result! Enjoy!
Note: You can consider this to be in the same College AU as FlashYang. Think of this as a parallel world in that AU. Think: Steins;Gate parallel world lines. If there's any confusion, feel free to PM me!
Yang woke up to her head pounding. She didn't dare open her eyes, because even though they were shut, the sunlight streaming in through the window was extremely bright. If she even thought about opening them, she'd probably go blind.
Slowly, ever so slowly, she shielded her eyes with a hand and opened her lilac orbs. She could practically hear the lids squeaking open. Thankfully, her hand did its job, preventing her retinas from being irreparably burned as she took in her surroundings.
This wasn't her apartment; that much she was sure of as she stared up at the ceiling fan, which had a belt draped over one of the blades. The couch she was currently sprawled across was far too comfortable to be a piece of furniture from her own crappy place.
With a bit of effort, she managed to sit up and look around the room. The place looked as if a bomb had gone off; pizza boxes –some with pizza still in it—scattered about, bottles of beer and other alcohol overturned and half empty throughout the living room, red solo cups placed in random spots, and to top it off, Yang's friends passed out in various spots and positions.
Ren had found an open space near the open sliding glass door that led to the deck, laying down in a position that mirrored a corpse inside a coffin. Nora, never far from her boyfriend, was still asleep, curled up atop Ren's legs, likely crushing them. Poor guy would probably have a terrible tingly feeling in his legs for hours.
Not far away, Jaune had fallen asleep at the table, his upper body draped across the top while his legs dangled off the edge. He'd used a pizza box as a pillow. Unfortunately for him, a bottle of vodka had spilled, and some of his hair seemed to be stuck to the table as a result.
Pyrrha had fallen asleep with her back against the couch that Yang had claimed. She'd hunched over in the same way Weiss did whenever she was studying for a test. She'd probably wake up with a crick in her neck. If she had the energy later, Yang would help her work it out.
Speaking of the Ice Queen, she was nowhere to be found. And for that matter, neither were Blake or Ruby.
As quickly as Yang's hungover head would allow her, she got up from the couch, careful not to disturb the still-sleeping Pyrrha. When she finally got to her feet, she had to fight back the urge to vomit; the last thing this place needed was more of a mess to clean up.
Yang stumbled her way toward the hall, noting that several pictures had either fallen from their tacks, or were crooked. One of the crooked ones depicted Nora proudly displaying her 1st place trophy for weightlifting. Right, that meant they had passed out at Ren and Nora's place.
Blindly, she trudged forward, fumbling in the dark hallway. Where was the damn light switch? She ran a hand along the wall as she walked, hoping she'd get lucky and find it.
Her fingers touched something sticky. With a slow, dreading turn of her head, she spotted a smattering of Silly String, crudely sprayed in a likeness of Zwei if he was missing an eye and his legs. Even though it was kinda gross, Yang could think of several worse sticky things to touch. She wiped her hand on her shirt, which was completely wrinkled, and probably stained. She idly wondered if they had enough stain remover back at her apartment.
Off to the left, she found the door to the bathroom, which was shut. She knocked, instantly regretting it as her head panged with each subsequent impact. This was one hell of a hangover she was dealing with. After she found the missing girls, she would immediately head home to sleep it off.
There was no answer, as she guessed, so she tried the handle. It was unlocked, thankfully, and she slowly pushed it open.
Inside, Blake and Ruby were asleep, leaning on each other with their backs supported by the tub. Yang quietly peered into the toilet, relieved to find that there was no vomit or fallen objects.
As if sensing Yang's presence, Blake's amber orbs opened slowly, blinking at the sight of her best friend looking into the toilet.
"…Yang? What are you doing?" she muttered, rubbing her eyes.
"Sorry to wake you, Blakey. I was just checking the toilet." She rose, rubbing her forehead. "You and Ruby ok last night?"
Blake nodded slightly, aware of Ruby's head against her cheek. "Neither of us threw up, but Ruby was afraid she might, so I kept her company until we passed out."
"Good to hear. Now I've just gotta find Weissy and everybody'll be accounted for."
Blake made a small, sleepy noise, before she closed her eyes and leaned her head back against Ruby's. "Good luck. I'm going back to sleep."
Yang left the bathroom as quietly as she had entered, shutting the door softly behind her. She was envious that Blake got to get some more sleep, but she wouldn't envy the stiffness that would come once her dark-haired friend finally got up off of the floor. Her ass would probably be as numb as Ren's legs.
Yang resumed her trek through the apartment. There weren't many rooms in Ren and Nora's place, so it wouldn't be hard to find Weiss. That was… assuming she was still inside. She should probably hurry…
The second bedroom that served as the office was empty, so she pressed on into the couple's room.
Again, she knocked, though she tried to do it more softly so her head didn't punish her. And just like last time, there was no answer. She pushed the door open, happy that they fixed the squeakiness Nora had complained about before. The sheer pitch of it would likely have made her ears bleed.
The bed was empty, as she expected –Weiss would never sleep in someone else's bed without their permission. It would be… uncouth? It didn't really matter. In the corner, Ren had set up a large chair, perfect for reading by the light of the sun.
In that chair, Weiss had curled up, resting her head against one of the oversized armrests. Her breathing was soft and steady, going in and out in long inhales and exhales. Her clothes were a bit ruffled, but by everyone else's standards, they may as well have been perfectly pressed.
Not wanting to scare her, Yang reached out and gently nudged Weiss's shoulder. Hopefully the Ice Queen would be in a somewhat forgiving mood. Yang would rather not be screamed at while her head was actively trying to split open.
White brows furrowed slightly, but Weiss made no move to wake from her seemingly-peaceful slumber. A bit more firmly this time, Yang nudged the smaller girl's shoulders once more. "Weiss, can you hear me? Wake up," she whispered, both for Weiss's sake and her own. Speaking above a whisper was about as appealing as getting a root canal.
The sound of Yang's voice seemed to do the trick, as Weiss groaned softly before opening her ice-blue eyes slowly. The look of confusion on her face told Yang she had probably been nearly as hammered as the rest of them.
"Yang? What are you doing here? Where am I?" the ivory-haired girl murmured as she stifled a yawn behind her hand.
"We're at Ren and Nora's place. You remember we had a party here last night, right?"
Weiss didn't say anything for a minute, probably trying to push through the haze of her hangover and recall the events of last night. Her brows furrowed and she gripped her forehead, lightly rubbing to will the pain away.
Yang herself couldn't remember anything, and she'd probably regret it if she tried to do so. Honestly, she was surprised she hadn't thrown up yet with the way her headache was pounding away at her skull. How much had she had to drink last night?
Finally, Weiss seemed to make some kind of a breakthrough, raising her head a bit. "Right. We were having pizza and drinking when you dragged everyone into a drinking game. We all got pretty drunk when Nora challenged you to—"
She cut off abruptly, her face turning a shade of red that rivaled Pyrrha's hair before she covered it with her hands. She let out a sound that was a mix of embarrassment and shame.
"Challenged me to what? What happened?" Yang asked, entirely confused by the other girl's reaction. What had she done that was so embarrassing that even Weiss cringed?
The smaller girl moved the fingers that covered her eyes without taking her hands away from her face. Before she answered, her eyes bulged and she covered them again.
"Where are your PANTS?!"
Yang whipped her eyes down to her waist, surprised to find that she was indeed missing her pants, leaving only a pair of bright yellow panties to protect her modesty. Her shirt, which only really reached to her hips, did nothing to help cover her.
With no other option in sight short of taking the sheets off of Ren and Nora's bed, Yang hastily covered her underwear with her hands. "Sorry! I didn't even notice they were gone until you said something!" She briefly wondered if the belt she saw on the ceiling fan was hers.
Quickly, she backed out of the room, keeping her front towards Weiss, which was still covered. "I'm gonna see if I can find my pants! When I do, I wanna hear what happened," she said as she dashed out the door, leaving an embarrassed Weiss in her wake.
Back in the living room, which looked like a scene out of a post-apocalyptic movie, Yang's friends were waking up, some better than others.
Jaune looked like he was about to be sick, rushing for the open sliding door and nearly throwing himself over the deck railing. Ren, as little as his facial expressions changed, winced, feeling the familiar tingle that came with a limb that was regaining blood flow. Nora was stretching, though she looked as if she was combating a massive headache; the usual enthusiasm was nowhere to be seen on her face as she gripped her head.
Pyrrha looked to be doing the best among them, though she rubbed her neck and forehead. It seemed she had drank the least among them, though judging by the state of the room, that probably didn't mean much.
"Has anyone seen my pants?" Yang asked as she entered the room, squinting at the light streaming in from the slider.
All eyes, except for Jaune's, who was still hunched over the balcony, turned to her before settling their eyes on her waist. Ren looked away quickly, out of courtesy, but Nora openly gawked before bursting into laughter. Her bout was cut short as she gripped her head even more tightly than before and groaned.
Pyrrha shifted her eyes back up to Yang's, stifling a laugh of her own, though her cheeks were a bit pink with embarrassment. "I think you threw them off the deck last night. You said it was hot and just pulled them off."
She pointed up to the ceiling fan. "That is your belt, by the way."
"Shit. Are you serious?" Yang pulled her belt off the ceiling fan before slipping on her shoes and sprinting outside.
There was only one other person outside at the moment, and they openly stared at Yang as she grabbed her jeans and ran back inside. Even though it was embarrassing to be seen without pants by some stranger, she didn't have time to sit and worry about it. She had to find out what she'd done last night.
When she burst back inside, she quickly pulled off her shoes and slid her pants back on. There was some mud caked on them, but it wasn't anything that wouldn't wash off. As soon as her belt was back in its place, she hurried back over to Pyrrha, who was still rubbing her neck.
"Do you remember what happened last night? Weiss told me that after I started a drinking game, Nora challenged me to something. She was too embarrassed tell me what I did though. What the hell happened?!"
The look on Pyrrha's face was a mixture of amusement and a bit of pity. "You really don't remember?" When Yang shook her head, she sighed and continued. "She challenged you to kiss someone. Before any of us could figure out what was happening, you grabbed Weiss and made-out with her."
The color drained from Yang's face. "I made out with… Weiss? Shit, I am so completely screwed! No wonder she couldn't look me in the eye! I've gotta go apologize," she said as she sprinted back towards the bedroom.
She threw open the door, startling Weiss, who let out a yelp. Slowly, she approached the smaller girl, who was looking anywhere but at Yang.
"Weiss, I heard what I did and I am so sorry. I had no idea what I was doing, and that's no excuse, but I totally should have gotten your permission first. Please don't kill me. I promise I will make it up to you," she pleaded, her eyes glimmering earnestly.
For a long, long moment, Weiss said nothing, taking great interest in the fabric of the chair. She was probably debating how she wanted to torture Yang before killing her or something like that. Really, Yang didn't blame her, since kissing her without consent was a pretty shitty thing to do.
After another moment, Weiss slowly met Yang's eyes, though there was still a considerable blush on her face. "You need to make things right."
"Totally! Anything you want," Yang said as she kneeled in front of the chair.
"You need to take me out on a proper… d-date." Her blush was even redder than before, and the scowl on her face did little to hide her embarrassment.
Yang blinked. "A… date…?" she said slowly, as if she wasn't quite sure she understood what she was saying.
"Yes, you oaf! A date! You kissed me and we aren't even dating!" she screeched.
Yang winced at the tone, the high pitch amplifying the pain of her headache. Still, Weiss had laid out her condition, and if she was gonna be honest, it was a pretty good condition. She'd always thought Weiss was beautiful, not to mention really smart. She'd probably never get another chance like this.
Not one to waste an opportunity, Yang nodded, grinning widely. "You got it, Weiss! How does next Friday sound?"
With a begrudging smile, Weiss nodded back. "Friday sounds wonderful."
With an enthusiastic pump of her fist, Yang shot up. "Hell yeah! This is gonna be great!"
"Just promise me one thing," Weiss said as she rose from the chair.
"Name it!"
"Promise me you'll wear pants for it."
With a burst of laughter, Yang took her hand and shook it. "You've got a deal!"
That was pretty stupid, but I hope y'all enjoyed it! There will probably be more dumb shit like this as long as I attend college, so I hope everyone can look forward to it! The drunken aftermath of the party was inspired by what I've witnessed in my own apartment after one of my roommates hosts a party. The only thing missing here is someone lighting off a stick of dynamite at 4:00AM. And yes that really happened. Scared the absolute fuck out of me. All descriptions of the hangovers come from what my roommate has described to me. I don't drink beyond a few sips here and there, so I had to ask someone else with actual experience. If you've got any amusing post-party or drunken stories to share, please do so! I'd love to read them! Anyway, the next update will be for The Dragon Priestess. Until next time~!