SURPRISE. Hey remember when I was 11 and I posted Mario fanfiction on here? Well guess what, I'm 20 now and I'm almost a full-blown adult. How about another one for old time's sake?

It was a testament to how taxing this particular adventure was that Peach waited an entire day to throw a party. Mario remembered occasions where he didn't even have time to go home and change his burned overalls before the cake was brought out. Peach always made sure the cake was worth it, though. He asked her once why she always had parties so soon after they got home. "It's how I unwind," she had said.

Even though he'd gotten a full night's sleep the night before, he was exhausted. He usually didn't mind answering Mushroom citizens' questions about how his adventures had gone, but for this one in particular, he just wanted to go back to sleep and forget it had ever happened. He looked around from his spot against the wall, took another sip of water, and furrowed his brow. Had everyone always been this happy at these things? This was not even mentioning the fact that Bowser was here. Peach said it was because he had helped save the world with the three of them, but… Bowser?

He had no more time to think, as just then Peach walked over to him. "Hey," she said, taking his hand in hers. "Are you doing alright?"

"Yeah," he said, a little confused.

She gave him a look. "Really? Because you're standing in the corner with an empty cup."

He peered into the cup. Whoops.

She laughed, and he felt a little better. "Don't worry, this'll be over in about fifteen minutes. I know you hate these things."

"No, I don't-"

She cut him off with a kiss. "It's okay." She gave his hand one more squeeze and went to rejoin the party. Mario mentally kicked himself and tried to remember how lucky he was. He had an amazing girlfriend, the Kingdom was (momentarily) safe from Bowser, his brother was safe-

Actually, wait, where was Luigi?

The icy, unbearable panic that engulfed his brain was gone instantly when he finally found Luigi, but an iota of it returned when he realized he was sitting on the floor, against the wall, hiding his face. "Luigi?"

Luigi's head snapped up, but he looked away when he saw Mario. "Go away."

Mario took that as an invitation to stay. He slid down to the floor next to him. They were in a hallway, deep in the castle, which was darkened and silent. The last time they'd been in a castle as dark and quiet as this- He willed his mind to stay on track. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Luigi cut himself off. Mario stayed quiet. "It's just-" Luigi exhaled heavily. "Is this what it was all for? Was this the plan for me all along?"

Mario was confused. "What do you mean?"

Luigi looked at Mario like he was stupid. "I'm evil! I'm a bad person!"

Mario was momentarily lost for words. He couldn't think of anyone less evil than his brother. "No you're not!"

Luigi shook his head. "You saw that book. You, and Peach, a-and Bowser were the heroes, and I'm the villain. I was-" His voice hitched, and Mario's heart sunk lower. "I was always destined to help end the world. Even back when we were in Brooklyn. None of it ever mattered."

Mario was frozen in place with shock, but the longer he stayed silent the more Luigi probably thought he agreed. "Luigi, you're-" he began, then tried again. "Prophecies are bullshit, Luigi."

Luigi sniffled. "What?"

"The Light Progno-whatever, both of 'em, they're wrong. You've helped save the world hundreds of times without some book telling you to."

"But I merged with Dementio and-"

"That wasn't your fault," Mario said firmly. "All the bad things you had to do, they forced you to. I know that if you were in control you would've done the right thing."

Luigi was quiet for a moment. "I'm just… scared. I keep thinking this is all going to get easier."

"It's okay, it just happened. We're all going to need some time."

"I miss when things were simpler." Mario put an arm around him. He knew what Luigi actually meant. He'd always had more trouble adjusting to the strange new world they'd been stranded in, and this probably wasn't helping.

Luigi sighed. "I'm ruining Peach's party."

Mario smirked. "I'm sure she's having a good time."

They stood up. "I don't really want to go back out there."

"Me neither," Mario agreed. "Let's just go home. I'll make some pizza rolls and we can play Bionic Commando. How about that?"

Luigi's face lit up. "That sounds perfect."

I'm hoping someone had me on their watch from like 2008 and this is showing up in their email right now and it makes them confused. Have a nice day!