A hipster!Phil and pastel!Dan coffee shop AU bc I'm freaking trash and I wanna give you all cavities from fluff and second hand cringe attacks from pure awkwardness

Dan Howell had just gotten his coffee from the barista, had just grabbed a napkin to place his freaking delicious chocolate chip scone on, when some nutjob decided to come barging through the glass door, half knocking a man out of his way. The said nutjob squeaked an apology, and straightened out his skewed glasses, all while tripping on the rug in front of the door. Literally everyone was staring, and Dan wasn't an exception.

He hurriedly averted his gaze because this dude was a train wreck, and frankly, he was suffering from second hand embarrassment and he didn't even know the guy. (He also found the dark haired stranger extremely attractive, which, in Dan's eyes, was just another reason to avert his eyes before he embarrassed himself by staring even longer at said stranger.)

It was approximately seven minutes later when Dan looked up from his game on his phone to find the guy about to order at the top of the queue.

He chuckled softly at the guy's face when he almost dropped his phone whilst grabbing his wallet from his pocket. He shook his head, glancing in a manner he hoped was surreptitious to check if anyone had noticed him watching, or heard his laugh. Dan breathed a sigh of relief. He returned his gaze to the man who had, at that exact moment, chosen exactly where Dan was to gaze at while waiting for his order at the pickup area, mere feet from Dan.

They held awkward eye contact for a solid minute, not smiling, not doing anything, and it was simultaneously the worst and best thing Dan had ever done. He knew, however, regardless of how it might have felt, it was definitely one of the most awkward.

He knew staring was socially unacceptable, had in fact ranted about it on his radio show, but then he did something deemed even more socially unacceptable. He winked and he regretted it even as he did it.

See, what Dan Howell had was something he called a disease of inappropriate winking. It wasn't even that he ever wanted to wink; he just did, and when he did, it was always in the worst situations imaginable. Like, this one, for example. Any other time he would've just gone and said "Oh my god I'm so sorry I don't know what came over me wow okay I'm leaving I'm so sorry" and picked up his crumbled dignity and high-tailed it, but this time the guy made it worse. Worse. As though that had even been a conceivable possibility until it happened.

See, this guy, whatever his name was, with dark hair in a little quiff above his glasses, decided to have the audacity to wink back. And the worst part? The most tragic part of all of it? He actually looked hot as hell doing it, and he sat down across from Dan after grabbing his coffee and bagel as Dan tensed every part of his body, desperately trying not to flush.

"Hi!"

Dan was assaulted by the word and it took him a few seconds to respond, especially because when the stranger said it in front of him he opened his mouth to a dazzling smile that sat well in his face.

"Uh, hi," was Dan's eloquent-as-shit response because somewhere between the cute hair and glasses and messenger bag he'd missed the fricking blue-as-oceans eyes and he swore that if he was some hopeless romantic (he totally wasn't, okay?) he'd say those were the type of eyes one could go swimming in.

"Oh my gosh!" The man exclaimed, jolting back in what appeared to be concern. "I just sat at your table and like, winked without introducing myself oh my gosh oh my gosh I'm sorry you must think I'm so weird!"And Dan, Dan who could only ever hold conversation with a rare few people, did something his antisocial tendencies could only gape at, if antisocial tendencies had mouths or faces. "Well, what's your name then? You're not really a stranger if I know your name."

Cute-boy, as Dan had apparently started mentally calling him, looked puzzled for a moment, but answered with a smile. "I'm Phil. Phil Lester."

Phil. It suited him, it really did. Cute bastard with a cute name to match. "Hi Phil, I'm Dan Howell."

Phil smiled again, and Dan was wondering if he ever didn't. Still, if he had a smile like that, he'd smile a lot, too. Dan couldn't help his grin at the thought.

"Well Dan, it's a pleasure to meet you, though I have to say it's one of the weirder ways I've met someone. Even my old ex only met me when I tripped into them on the pavement."

Dan snickered at that image, mentally cataloguing that he willingly talked about an ex without giving a gender and without mentioning a current significant other, then scolding that train of thought. "Yeah, this is the first time I've met someone by watching them slide tackle a guy whilst tripping on a rug, then making awkward eye contact that turned into awkward winks."

Phil winces. "So you saw me wipe out then?"

He nods, smile contorted into a compassionate one that speaks of understanding. Then Dan's mouth does what it does best, or, worst for Dan, and engages in dialogue without first consulting his brain. "Yeah, were you falling for me?"

Dan expects a lot of different responses to that, anything ranging from Phil shooting him a disgusted look and walking out, to flipping a table and screaming homophobic slurs at him for coming on to him, but he didn't expect what Phil actually does.

Phil leans forward, a serious look on his face for perhaps the first time since Dan has met him, and peers directly into Dan's eyes with his own piercingly blue pair. "What if I am now?"

It's that exact moment Phil sees Dan has slid too far backward in his chair as he'd leant backward since Phil had come over, and Phil is on his feet and grabbing the falling Dan and placing him back in his chair before Dan can say "Shit."

And as though Dan's dignity could survive another attack, Phil opens his mouth and throws him a fucking smirk like who even smirks in real fucking life is this a cliche fanfiction? and says, "Are you falling for me?"