A/N: Finally recovered from the concussion I got in August and have the time to write! Yea! Will have a new chapter of RTD later this month, hopefully sooner. This story though is generally going to be played for laughs...even if this one-shot got a bit heavy. It started out funny enough and then my angst-y writer side attacked me.

Chapter 1

He glared at the small stretch of beach in LA as he waited, worried that his boy was going be contrary again. Over the centuries he'd tried various ways of reconnecting with this wayward child but his son was nothing if not stubborn, something he'd inherited from both of his parents. That trait, or rather defect in this case, was why it had taken Yahweh so long to realize he would never be able to cross the divide between them. Lucifer was too angry, too bitter, too hurt, and he interpreted every overture his father made in the worst possible light. Yahweh rubbed his face as the guilt of what had happened to the Heavens once brightest member rose up in him again.

If the results of Samael's temper tantrum, for that's what the rebellion had been, were less destructive he'd have let the boy off with a warning or mild punishment of some sort, but he'd created sin. His children, like their parents, apparently never did anything by halves. At the time he'd wanted to strip the boy's powers and send him to Earth, to force him to live among the humans he so despised. It would have taught him a lesson in humility and at the end, when his mortal life was over, he'd have been welcomed his son home with open arms.

Instead he'd listened to her.

He'd let his wife, the Goddess of Creation, convince him to give their son what she'd claimed he'd wanted. She'd said Samael, bright and creative Samael, had complained in the past of feeling stifled and that was the reason for his actions. That he'd outgrown the confines of Heaven and needed a kingdom of his own to rule over however he saw fit. She'd even made the case that because he'd introduced sin into the world he should be the one to take care of the wayward souls that could no longer enter Heaven. He'd seen the logic in that and let her take care of it, not seeing the plotting she'd been doing. Not realizing that she'd taken his creation of humanity as a personal insult and had set about trying to take everything away from him as punishment for the slight. That it had been her whispered words their son had listened too before his uprising and were it not for Gabriel, beautiful Gabriel, she'd have done the same with the rest. Again, he was forced to stop another uprising, thankfully before it even started this time, and with his wife as the culprit.

As much as it had broken his heart to sentence the woman he loved he couldn't let her continue, and he'd done the only thing he could think of short of killing her, he'd sentenced her to be sealed away in Hell. That moment was the first time he'd looked in on his son since his banishment, an oversighted he'd regret for millennia to come, and saw what had become of the brightest of his children. Samael, now calling himself Lucifer, was a broken shell of the person he'd once been and Yahweh had felt his child's pain, his loneliness, as his own in that instance. His wife had laughed at his shock, and then taunted him with the knowledge that she'd blocked the connection he'd purposefully left open with his exiled child. Samael's position in Hell had always been intended to be as temporary as his mortal life would have been, had he wanted it to be. It was chance for the boy to think, to grow on his own, and to realize what he'd done was wrong. All he had to do was apologize, and really mean it, to come home should he want to. Only, he'd never had, or rather, Yahweh thought he hadn't. He'd never heard his son crying out to him and as such thought he hadn't; had thought the boy was being stubborn and sulking in his underworld kingdom.

He'd been an arrogant fool.

She may have failed to take the Heavens from him, but she had taken the love of his favorite child for the 'crime' of having creating without her. Now, his son blamed him for everything, for all of his pain. Samael was dead and the man, Lucifer, who'd taken his place hated him. He'd been so enraged by the revelation that he'd ripped her essence from the physical body she'd created for herself and thrown it into Hell, sealing it away in a cell. The one and only time he'd ever exerted power in the dominion he'd given his little boy. Yet even that retribution hadn't made him feel better for the simple fact that this was as much his fault as it was theirs.

Sam- Lucifer may have rebelled, she may have manipulated things, but he'd let all of it happen. In truth, as he found out later, Samael had rebelled because he felt abandoned by his father, and it had taken his wife laying it out for him to realize the boy had been right. He'd gone from focusing solely on his family to focusing exclusively on his new human project. The result was that he'd all but abandoning the children, for they were still very much children, who'd depended on him for affection in the process. He'd left them to the influence of his angry and bitter wife, he'd let his family fall apart. It was a wonder it had only been Lucifer and a few of his siblings that had rebelled, not all of them.

Yahweh released a deep breath as the portal opened on the beach and his son stumbled out followed quickly by the demon he'd created to keep himself company. Finally, he thought to himself and he smiled at man his child had grown into. When he'd started this plan thirty years ago he'd expected it to take time to subtlety convince the man to leave the, ironically enough, emotional security his son had found in Hell. But he hadn't expected it to take thirty years.

He shook his head with an incredulous frown as he watched his son stretch out his wings along with his arms. For a brief moment he wondered if Lucifer was going try and get back into Heaven, he'd let him in if he did, but then he turned back to his demon. That he'd been so desperate for companionship that he'd created such a thing spoke more to the emotional torture he'd suffered being alone than any rant could have, and his father had heard plenty of those since he'd started actually watching over him again. Then Yahweh's eyes widened as Lucifer handed her a blade and he had to physically stop himself from smiting the creature as she began to cut off the fallen angel's wings. He felt ill as he watched Lucifer grit his teeth and remain silent as his body was hacked apart, unable to comprehend what he was witnessing. What was this? Why would he do this? When it was done, what felt like an eternity later, his son rose shakily to his feet from where he'd fallen to his knees halfway through the process, though he'd still remained silent.

"You see that old man!" Lucifer cried, screaming at the sky and he jolted in surprise. "I'm done! I refuse to play your games any longer! I'm never going back! You can't make me now!"

Yahweh felt tears in his eyes as he watched the bloody back of his child stumble away from the beach to the city. Lucifer had just hurt himself terribly to take some kind of emotional swing at the father he was convinced didn't give a damn. For a moment he wondered if the kind, loving, heart his son had once possessed was truly gone forever. Would she even be able to reach him when they met? Then he shook himself, no, it was still there. If it wasn't he'd have taken that pain out on others instead of hurting himself. No, his son's heart was broken, on its last beats of life, but it was there, and there was still time.

His son could still be saved.