"So..."
"So what?"
"So, how's your day been, chica?"
"Colin, don't talk to me right now. I'm driving."
"Aw, c'mon, Lori! Our first date and you don't even want to talk to me?" Colin said playfully as he looked at the driver of the family car.
"For the last time, Colin, this is NOT a date! When we get to the restaurant-"
"Jean-Juans. Probably the most steriotypical name in recorded history..."
"I said, when we get to the restaurant, you're going to leave me and Bobby ALONE. got it?"
"I read you loud and clear, Lori. Or should I call you...Babe?"
"Oh my god, knock it off, Colin!"
"Ha! It's just too easy with you, chica! Too easy!"
The Loud House...
"Alright! What's up, Luna?" Bobby asked the 3rd oldest sister as she hopped in the front seat of his car.
"Oh, nothing much. Just getting ready to go..."
"Yeah, me too. I've been trying to figure out how big my stuffed bear to Lori should be. I mean, it has to be huge, but what if it's too small?"
"Uh, is that why there's a 6 foot tall panda stuffed in the back of the car?"
"Yeah! I know how much Lori loves pandas! Or, was it Grizzly Bears? Oh, God, I hope it's not Grizzly Bears!" He said, beginning to freak out.
"Bobby, what's the big-"
"VALENTINES DAY IS RUINED!"
"DUDE! CALM DOWN!" Luna yelled over Bobby's cries.
"-sniff- you know, Luna, I just want Lori to have a great day. I've been trying my hardest the past few months to make her happy, and it really takes a lot out of you, you know?"
"I guess... I mean, Colin does most of the worrying in our relationship, which is weird..but I get where you're coming from."
"Thank god someone understands! We can talk about it on the way there. Now hop in!"
They buckled themselves in as Bobby turned the ignition. But while the engine started, the car stood motionless.
"Huh?" Bobby asked as he got out of the car. "This stupid thing always breaks down..."
Meanwhile, Colin was texting Luna in the front seat of Lori's van.
"So are you ready for this date?"
"As ready as I'll ever be!"
"Great! And I may have a little surprise for you..." he typed, then sent. He put his phone in the side door and pulled out a small box from his pocket.
"What do you have in your hand?"
"This? Just a little thing I got for Luna. I hope she's gonna love it."
"Well, what is it?"
"I think I'm gonna keep it a secret for now, chica. You understand, right?" He asked as he slipped the box back into his coat.
"Whatever. I just want Bobby to actually put some thought into the gift this year, you know?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, last year he got me a card. That isn't horrible, but he literally didn't even think about me when he got it."
"Geez. I didn't know that Valentines Day was all that important."
"Well, for some people it means a lot. Other people just sit at home and treat this like any other day."
"Yeah, I get what you- wait, I got a text. Hold on."
His face sank as he read the message.
"What is it?"
"It's Luna. Bobbys car won't start, because, and I quote, "Some idiot punctured holes in the gas tank with a screwdriver."
"Oh, boy...tell them to get some duct tape and tape the holes. It works for a few days, but he needs to get that fixed."
"On it. Annnnnd, sent!"
The McBride House...
"Alright! Step one is completed!" Clyde said as he looked through a pair of binoculars at the car parked in the driveway. "Making sure Lori can't even get out of her driveway by poking holes in the gas is genius!"
Suddenly, the car began to move forward out onto the street.
"What?! How did she- wait a minute. That isn't Lori! In fact, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that's BOBBYS car! I wish I'd have known that before I vandalized it..." he said as he watched the car slowly make its way down the street.
"Well, no problem! I'm going to stop this madness before I lose Lori again! I'm sure Lincoln won't mind if I borrow his bike, would he?"
Jean Juans French Mex Buffet...
"I thought you guys would never make it," Colin jokingly said as Luna and Bobby walked to the front of the restaurant to meet them.
"Well, we had a small problem, but the important thing is that we're here. Are you ready for a great dinner, babe?" Bobby asked Lori as he wrapped her in a hug.
"You know it, Boo Boo Bear. Im just glad we can eat here as a couple instead of trying to get back together."
"Yeah, that was a mess. Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!"
As they walked into the restaurant, Colin turned to Luna.
"Ok, I've never been in here before. Do I look fine? I feel dizzy..."
"It's probably just nerves. This is kind of our first official date, you know..."
"What, and Burger King wasn't good enough for you?" He chuckled as they were led to their table by their waiter.
"Wait...you look a little young to be working here," he told the rather short man who led them to their table. "And haven't I seen you somewhere before?"
"Me? I'm sorry, sir, you must be mistaking me for someone else," he said in an oddly familiar voice.
"...ok, then," he said as he and his date were seated at a table by a different waiter.
"That was weird. The waiter back there looked like Clyde for a minute."
"Huh. That's weird. Probably just a coincidence. I wonder what he is doing right now, though..."
Meanwhile...
"Ok, so Lori and Colin are over there somewhere. I have to make my move sometime, but how?" Clyde thought as he stroked his fake mustache he donned for his disguise.
He suddenly snapped his fingers as his plan began to formulate.
"I got it! It may be cruel, but it's gonna be pretty effective! Lori, babe, you're going to be MINE by the end of tonight! Mwah ha ha ha h-ACK! -COUGH- -COUGH-! Man, do I REALLY have a cold now?"
1 Hour Later...
"Man, I'm full. And I thought I could eat as much Mexican food as I wanted...I mean, I AM practically mexican!"
"Well, it looks like Bobby had the same I idea over there," Luna said as she pointed her fork in the other couples direction.
"Ohhhh...Lori, why did you let me eat all those tacos?"
"Bobby, you have no one to blame but yourself for that. I told you to stick with 3..."
"But they were so good! I couldn't resist!"
"Ok, I didn't go THAT crazy," Colin said to her. "But I, uh, kind of have a surprise for you, Luna."
"Really?" She said as she put her utensils down and folded her arms. "What is it?"
"Well, uh..." he stammered as he quietly pulled out the box from his coat pocket. "You, uh, have to close your eyes."
She closed her eyes, her arms still crossed.
"And h-hold out your hands."
She held out her hands as Colin nervously placed the box in his girlfriends hands.
"Ok, you can open them now."
She opened her eyes to see a small, purple jewelery box in her hands.
"What is it?"
"Well, you have to open the box and see!"
"Ok..." she said as he opened it. Immediately, as she opened the box, her jaw slightly dropped.
"Do you like them?" Colin asked as he braced himself for failure.
"Like them?" She said as she held one of them up to the light. "I LOVE them!"
In her hand, Luna held a small earring. It was made out of silver, and it was shaped in the form of a small guitar.
"Really? You actually like it?"
"It's perfect, Colin!" She said, her eyes almost tearing up.
Colin saw this and began to explain his motivation.
"You know, I saw those paper clips you wear as earrings, and I thought, "You know what? If I ever get enough money, I'm gonna buy her some REAL earrings." So, I went and..."
"And they're even shaped like guitars...Colin, how did you pay for these?"
"Oh, you know, the usual way. With money."
"Yeah, but how did you GET the money?"
"Oh, that. Well, I realized that the football game I got tickets for this Christmas was today. So I sold them on stub hub and got you these at the mall. Thank Leni for helping me pick them out, though she was pretty confused on what I wanted them for..."
"I love them!" She said, taking out the paper clips from her ears and putting the new ones in.
"Wow...they look really nice on you, Novia."
"You think so?"
"No, I KNOW so. You always look beautiful either way, so..."
"Ooh, look! Bobbys getting his gift out of the car for Lori!"
"Really?" He said, getting up to go sit at their table. "I wonder what he got her..."
"Oh, it's big. Really big," she said as they sat next to each other at Lori's table.
"I hope that Bobby got me something more thoughtful than a card this year," Lori said as Colin eyes widened.
"Uh, yeah, that's more thoughtful than a card," he muttered as a giant, stuffed panda bear with a heart in its arms burst into the restaurant.
"Really?! Oooh, I should cover my eyes!" Lori said as she put her hands over her eyes.
"And I should start filming!" Colin said as he gullet his phone out oof his pocket. But before he could turn it on, he dropped it to the floor.
"Oops. Hold on, guys!" He said, ducking under the table to pet his phone. As he did, however...
SPLAT!
"What?" He said as he pulled his head above the table to see what had happened.
Everything, and this narrator means EVERYTHING around the table was covered with guacamole. The tabletop, the seats, Lori, and the bear were all covered in the green condiment. Luckily for Bobby, he was covered by the bear.
"What the...huh. guess the bear had a guac dispenser in it or some- Lori, are you OK? you look a little-"
"WHO DID THIS?!" she screamed as she stood up. Her shirt was ruined, and there were bits of guacamole in the hair.
"Well, maybe you should ask the guy holding the empty guac tray who did it?" Colin said sarcastically as the short waiter holding the tray looked around in confusion.
"Wait...Lori and Bobby? And Colin? With...LUNA? What the..."
"Wait a minute! You don't work here!" Colin said as he stood up. He grabbed the mustache on the waiters face and ripped it off, revealing the REAL perpetrator.
"CLYDE!"
"Look, uh, there's an obvious reason behind this whole fiasco. See, uh, the OTHER table ordered the Guac Shower Special. An honest mistake, believe me!"
"Give it up, dude. What are YOU doing here?" Luna asked him. She wasn't nearly a hit as bad as Lori, but she still had green specks in her hair.
"-sigh- Fine. I was trying to sabotage Lori and Colins date tonight. But I guess, uh, that Bobby and her got back together? Yay?"
"Look, Clyde, you can't just-"
"YOU RUINED MY DATE! AND MY NEW TOP!"
"Babe, calm down! I'm sure Clyde has a reasonable explanation, don't you, Clyde?!" Bobby said as he glared angrily at him.
"Umm, yeah! See, Lori, it's no big secret that, uh, I, well..."
"You like her. Get on with it."
"Yeah, that. And I just, uh, was kind of, well, JEALOUS of Colin. And I guess, uh...wait. Why are YOU here with Luna and not Lori? And why are these two back together?"
"I'll explain later. But I think you owe Lori an apology."
"And a new top!"
"And a 6 foot tall stuffed panda bear scecifically made with her name stiched onto the heart!"
"Oh, Boo Boo Bear! You didn't have to do that!"
"Really? Because that thing was really, oh, wait, you were lying, weren't you?" He said as she glared at him.
"-sigh- well, I'm sorry. I've been saving money for a while now. I'll get you a new top, Lori. And try Olive Oil on the bear. My dad said that it works most of the time."
With that, Clyde ran out of the restaurant, presumably to ride home on the "borrowed" bike.
The Ride Home...
"Well, I don't think that you can consider tonight a TOTAL bust, can you? I mean, we spent time together! That's good, right?"
"Bobby, I am COVERED in guacamole right now. Do you REALLY want to tell me that tonight was good?"
"Message recieved, babe. Message recieved. I think we should get off our phones while we drive, though..."
"Boo Boo, we're not even out of the parking lot yet."
"Hey, you can enever be too sure, can you? See you later, babe. And tell Luna and Colin I said goodnight!"
"Alright, I will. See you later, Bobby."
"Well, I think we can consider this a good night," Colin said to Luna in the back seat as they buckled up.
"Yeah, it was. I'm gonna wear these earrings every day, Colin."
"I hope you do, Luna. Because those things cost 150 bucks."
"Colin..."
"What? I was being sarcastic!" He chuckled as they pulled out of the parking lot.
The Loud House...
"Well, we're home. And I'm going straight to bed," Lori said as she got out oof the car along with Colin and Luna. She locked the door, threw the keys to the car to Luna, and went to her room.
"Well, I guess we can do what we want, now. Everyone's asleep," Luna said to Colin, a small smile on her face.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Luna?" He asked excitedly.
"I think so..."
10 Minutes Later...
"Dang, this is REALLY good ice cream!" Colin said as he stuck his spoon into the pint of Mint Chocolate Chip.
"Tell me about it!" Luna said as she turned the volume up on the movie she had put in. "Hey, I thought you got Moose Tracks!"
"Really? It doesn't matter, does it?"
"I guess not," she said rolling her eyes as she sat down on the couch. The lights were turned off as the movie started to play.
"This is Spinal Tap?"
"Yeah! You've never seen this one before?"
"I've hardly ever seen a movie before, Luna. I mean, what even IS a movie? Do I read it, or eat it, or-"
"Oh, be quiet, Colin!" She said with a smile on her face as she punched him in the arm. "I know you like being a wise guy, but lets just enjoy the movie for now!"
"I would like nothing better," he said as he took another spoonful of ice cream. He turned to no one in particular and began to talk.
"You know, I've never really had someone to call my very own before. But with Luna, it's different. I'm happy around her. And I think she's happy around me, too! I can't tell, really. Either way, I'm just going to sit back, relax, and crank it up to an 11 with my chica. Happy Valentines Day!"
He sat down to the couch as Luna leaned her head on his shoulder. The movie started, and they both ended the night the same way they started it: happy.