They had been officially exclusive for a week, and Bernie found herself aching for every little experience with Serena. Oh, certainly, there had been torrid kisses stolen at the most convenient of moments, and occasional feels copped in the office, but there were still some things that she wanted to do with Serena that just never seemed to happen. Namely, holding her hand.

Which seemed so silly to her, given the things they had experienced. And she couldn't find any way to voice her wants in this regard. She was so accustomed to being, as Serena had labelled her, a big macho army medic that tenderness and sweetness often fell by the wayside as she let Serena guide the direction their relationship took. Because she didn't currently want to rock the boat, and perhaps lose the best thing she had ever had in her life.

But she was here in surgery, gazing across the table at Serena, watching her movements as Bernie assisted her. Their movements were completely in sync, and that realization made her smile at her partner. Serena caught the expression in her eyes and returned it before saying something to the anesthetist. Thankfully, it was a short surgery, routine, almost, and Bernie was soon closing the incision before following Serena over to the wall and leaning against it as they regarded each other.

"That went well," Serena said as she peeled off her gloves, tossing them into the bin. Bernie followed suit, giving her a small nod. "I like easy surgeries like this. It's like the trauma gods are giving us a reprieve from the hell we normally face."

"Isn't that true?" Bernie felt her smile falter a little as she reached out and brushed her hand along Serena's arm, stopping just short of her hand. She just couldn't quite seem to find the courage to clasp said hand, it seemed, and Serena didn't seem to pick up on the hint, instead sighing a little as she stepped away and pulled off her mask, tossing it in the bin. Bernie tried not to lean into her as Serena reached up and grabbed hold of her own mask and threw it away.

"Is everything okay, Bernie? You look like you have something to say," Serena said as she once more leaned against the wall, regarding her carefully. A soft blush sprang up on her cheeks as she shrugged, the words she wanted to say turning to ash. "Well, come along, we both deserve to take our lunch break now. Pulses is calling my name."

Bernie laughed as she nodded, following Serena from the room and heading down to their office. Once inside, she grabbed her wallet and gestured with her head. "I've got it today, let's go."

"Bernie."

"No protestations. It's my turn to pay, all right?" Serena gave her one of those adorably sarcastic looks, and Bernie just laughed as she rested her hand on the small of Serena's back, guiding her over to the lift. As they waited for it, she couldn't help but think that this would be the perfect opportunity to just reach out and grab Serena's hand, thread their fingers together, and run her thumb along those elegant knuckles. And she might have, too, had one of the new F1s not come bustling around the corner, looking intently at something in his hand.

Instinctively, she moved away from Serena, not wanting to imply that there was anything happening between them, even though it seemed like everyone knew there was. Serena gave her a slightly wounded look, and she shook her head a little as they stepped into the elevator. The moment the doors were closed, Serena turned to her and wrapped her fingers around Bernie's upper arm, forcing Bernie to look at her. "Did you really just pull away from me, Bernie?"

The wounded look on her partner's face cut Bernie to the core, and she fought to keep from tensing her arms, knowing that the move would only wound Serena more. And there was no way that she could possibly hold onto Serena's hand now, since she had to explain things. "I, I did. It's hard to be free and flirty around the new doctors, when they're F1s, and looking to us to lead them along. It was a propriety thing, and…fuck, I'm babbling again. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Serena cocked her head to one side as she regarded Bernie. "I keep forgetting that you are a little more reserved than I am, Bernie. I am more accustomed to being touchy feely, to being open, because that's just who I am when I'm in love. I'll try to be a little more reserved, for you."

Bernie smiled, even as she inwardly groaned. This was the last thing that she wanted, since it only meant that holding her partner's hand was even farther away than before. "And I'll try to be a little more open to you, Serena. There's things that I can work on, you know." She made to reach out for Serena, only to find her hand faltering a little before it fell back to her side. Instead, she stepped closer to Serena, needing to be in her personal space as they rode down to the café.

"You know what I like, I'll grab us a table," Serena said as they stepped off the lift and headed over to Pulses. Bernie gave her an absent nod before joining the queue. Fletch was just ahead of her, and she only hoped that he wouldn't turn and talk to her. It was not to be, however, as he just seemed to know that she was there.

"So, how are things between you and Serena? Jason couldn't help but tell me that you two were kissing quite intently whilst locked in your office."

Bernie blushed once more as she looked to find Serena, noting that she had managed to snag them a booth towards the back of the café. "We're okay."

"That's not what I want to hear. I want to hear that you love her."

"Well, that's a given. It's just…"

"Yes?" he asked, giving her a knowing smile.

She sighed as she turned her gaze back to him. "I want to hold her hand. It's as simple as that. There would be nothing in the world that I would like more than to just reach out, clasp that perfect hand of hers, thread our fingers together, and talk away the afternoon."

"That sounds quite romantic."

"Which is the problem, obviously. She only knows me as this reserved person, who doesn't do public displays of affection. And so every time that I reach for her hand, I falter. It's utterly ridiculous."

Fletch laughed a little as they moved forward, shaking his head. "I swear, the two of you make things so hard on each other. All you have to do is take the initiative. Be the Major who you are. Take control."

"Easier said than done, but thanks for the pep talk," she replied as they reached the front of the line. He only gave her a searching look as he placed his order, and she was grateful for the space between them once more, allowing her to get their order in place.

Fletch gave her one more look before he carried his coffee over to the lift. While she waited for their food and drinks, Bernie found herself glancing at Serena, giving her little smiles that she was clueless to. Finally, she took hold of the bag and cups, making her way to Serena's side and setting her cup down in front of her. "Finally!"

"Hey, I had to order for both of us, don't get shirty." She winked at Serena before digging into the bag and pulling out their sandwiches. "So, I was thinking supper tonight?"

"Barring any surprise surgeries, I say yes. We can go home and make something together. I bought a delicious piece of ahi tuna at market Sunday, and Jason won't eat it with me."

"That sounds perfect," Bernie said as she unwrapped her sandwich, grateful to have plans for the night that included Serena.