Lights

A/N: The GoChi High School fic will be updated as soon as I finish this short story. This is seven chapters long. I have struggled with a lot of things lately and I think using this fic to get back into the swing of things has been very helpful.

Chapter 1: Newborns

Newborns were loud.

Very loud, apparently. Gohan couldn't focus on anything in his study books because of the constant noise. He had a hard enough time keeping his thoughts from wandering already, but add on the wailing of a baby and any attempt at focus was an impossible dream. Even up here in his room, he couldn't find the peace and quiet he needed to work through the tough mathematical problems in his books.

His attention slipped away from the study material. His eyes drifted from the scratches made by his pen on paper to the breeze blowing the white curtains in his room. Faded white curtains. Yellowing white. Had they always been that color or had his mother really been too busy to keep up her normal cleaning routines? It was hard to know for sure. His mother sure hadn't been the same since Cell, since his father's passing, but the birth of Goten had seemed like a good spark to revitalize her. Not that he cared about the colors of his curtains, but Chi-Chi had always been so on top of routines.

One of the lessons and habits she'd passed down to him.

Having his study routines interrupted always felt so wrong, like the colors of the day were faded and off whenever Gohan broke away from the day's plan. When his dad had been alive, though, the color change of broken routine had created a bright glow, like a fun change of pace was a good thing to shake up life every once in a while. Now, everything dimmed down to dull grays, like the brightness itself was fading…

The crack in the baby's cry snapped Gohan out of his thoughts and he shook his head, looking away from the curtains and the window. Blushing because of the strange thoughts he'd had on symbolic color meanings in life, Gohan sighed and ran a hand through his hair, set his pen down, closed his book, and stood up out of his wooden chair. Regardless of routine, he needed a break at this point. Besides, from the sound of it, his mother needed help with the baby.

A few steps across his room to open the door and then a few more to travel downstairs, following the sound of the crying baby. By what his mother had told him, Goten was actually a pretty well behaved mild-mannered newborn. Apparently, Gohan had been much louder and much harder to deal with at such a young age. Of course, he had quieted down significantly through the passage of time, but it was a little hard to imagine anyone being louder than Goten.

Granted, there were challenges involved with Goten that hadn't been present with Gohan – and Gohan wasn't going to bring up the absence of his father just to make a point or comparison. Either way, Goten was whining for something now and their mother had yet to leave her room. Which resulted in Gohan standing at the door to his parent's bedroom, hearing the wailing on the other side (since Goten's crib was in the master bedroom, after all), and hesitating to knock on the door to get Chi-Chi's attention.

Did his mom really need him? Was Goten just being a – well, just being a baby? Was everything all right?

He bit his lip and shuffled his feet in front of the door as he tried to come to a decision. He didn't like knowing his mom had locked herself in her room again, but it was still early enough in the morning to not make too big of a fuss over it. Sure, Gohan had made himself a small breakfast this morning before hopping into his studies, but that was almost normal at this point. Gone were the days when Chi-Chi would be the first one awake in the Son household. But was it really something worth worrying over?

Probably not.

Still, Goten hadn't stopped crying and Gohan couldn't focus on his studies right now anyway. He might as well see if his mom could use some help. Or would be willing to accept. Sometimes, she was stubborn about handling things by herself and Gohan didn't want to fight her on it, no matter what Grandpa Ox King had made him promise. Gohan had witnessed his dad cave in to his mom so many times and now he understood why. Or at least, he knew a little bit as to why.

Shaking it off, Gohan took a breath and reached up to knock on the door. The taps were even louder than the cries of the baby and his mother was quick to respond to them.

"Gohan, it's all right," Chi-Chi said over a tired sigh. "You can come in."

Despite his curiosity of wondering how his mother instantly knew it was him, Gohan quickly cleared his dry throat and opened the surprisingly unlocked door. "Mom..."

She was still in her nightgown, a thin form-fitting fabric tied at the waist, but even if she wasn't dressed for the day at least she was out of bed. Holding the crying Goten in her arms, she walked around the room on fuzzy blue slippers. Acting as if everything was normal, even if the baby refused to stop crying.

Dark and tired eyes glanced toward him as she put on a weak smile. "Did your studies get interrupted by all this noise?"

"Ah, yeah," Gohan said, licking his lips as he continued to hang in the door. "Mom -"

"Well, come here," Chi-Chi said. "Maybe you can help me calm him down."

A smile crossed his face as his eyes followed his mother. She wanted help. That was a good thing, right? If he wanted to help her out, he should be allowed to without issues. And besides, he was still so curious about his new baby brother. He could read about babies and child growth all day long but there was nothing quite like watching it happen in real time. And this was his brother.

Loud, wailing little brother who wasn't being receptive to anything their mother tried, apparently. Gohan tried not to smile too brightly as he followed his mom's footsteps to the bed. A glance to the nearby dresser revealed a picture of his father with him and Mom, and Gohan had to quickly turn his gaze back to his mother as he climbed up onto the bed to sit on his knees next to her, leaning over to stare down at his little brother.

"He's hungry, I think," Chi-Chi sighed. "But I don't have enough milk in me to feed him. He's got your father's appetite and there's no way I can physically keep up with it."

"Oh, yeah," Gohan blinked. "That makes sense."

A half smile from his mother. "We're going to have to come up with a better solution than just letting him go hungry."

"Right," Gohan nodded. "I can read up on it. I know a lot of mothers sometimes have to resort to formula because they don't even produce breast milk at all for whatever reason. I guess you want me to figure out what kind would be best for Goten so we don't have to go to a doctor?"

His mother nodded, the smile lighting her dim gaze just a little. "You're very smart already, Gohan. I'm sure I can trust you to come up with the best solution for us."

"Yeah!" Gohan grinned at the compliment, feeling his elation only hampered by the fact that Goten had yet to stop screaming. "But what do we do now?"

His mother sighed, frowned, eyes going to his little brother. Her arms rocked the baby boy, but Goten refused to stop crying. It certainly did make sense to blame hunger, though he was trusting his mom on that instinct. Even if Gohan didn't have the same huge appetite as his father, Goten already shared so many traits – the hair being one – so it wasn't hard to draw such a conclusion when it came to him, at least.

"Well," his mother murmured. "Whenever you didn't want to quiet down, your father would do this trick with his ki. I'd say 'Goku, you can't just feed energy into any problem and expect it to work,' but...the funny thing is… it always did."

Gohan bit his lip, watching his vision blur in front of him. Thinking of his father was one thing. Speaking of him was another. A harsh reminder that Gohan's dumb mistake had cost the family something dear, regardless of how much his father tried to soothe him. He knew his dad didn't blame him or think any less of him, not when his last words had involved mentioning how proud he was...but… when Gohan looked at his mother, it was hard to not feel a twinge of guilt. He knew he shouldn't, but, well, he couldn't control all of his feelings. He never could. No matter how hard he would work to do his best.

"So," he murmured over the rush of grief. "Dad used to… feed me ki?"

A nod from his mother and then a nudge of her elbow. "Think you can try to do the same for Goten? The warmth might help calm him just like it used to do for you."

"Heh. Okay. I'll try."

Bizarre as it felt, Gohan set a hand on his little brother's head. Amid all the wild hair, he was reminded of the fragility of a newborn's skull and he tried to keep himself steady as he touched the small life in his mother's arms. He'd never thought to give ki to someone to calm them down, but as he transferred some of his warmth, Goten's crying slowly settled until it stopped altogether. It was so close to a near instant reaction that Gohan had to resist the urge to add more, especially when his mother sighed in relief.

"It worked. I'm glad," Chi-Chi said. "Good job, Gohan. You're gonna be a great big brother."

Pulling his hand into his lap, Gohan stared at the bed and felt the heat rise on his face. He wanted to say it wasn't even his idea, that it wasn't even a big deal. He shouldn't be praised for doing something that his father must have thought of naturally. His father was amazing like that. Always thinking of solutions outside of the box and somehow being right, too.

Meanwhile, Gohan wasn't really coming up with solutions, just working off of what had been given to him. Trying his best and nothing more.

"I wish Dad were here."

As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt his mother tense. Eyes widening, he lifted his gaze, seeing Chi-Chi staring at the picture on the night stand. Gohan followed her gaze, and swallowed the words on the tip of his tongue. He couldn't apologize. He didn't even know what to say or why he had said that; he was supposed to be stronger than that, supposed to be here to keep his mother together. She had lost her husband. It was so much harder on her. And then with Goten…

A yawn from the baby and Gohan joined his mother in facing the new member of the family. A new member who looked so much like -

"Honestly, Gohan," his mother murmured, interrupting his thoughts. "I think...in a way...he kind of is."