Greetings all, and welcome to my first Steins;Gate fanfic! As of writing this, its been a couple of years since I've been introduced into the fantastic universe of Steins;Gate and I love it as much back then as I do now! After consistently re-watching the anime, and more recently playing/reading the Visual Novel, I can easily say that one of my all-time favorite characters is Urushibara Ruka/Luka, especially in consideration of the emotional identity scenario he/she goes though that struck great interest in me that I did not expect to experience from a secondary character. After being mentally ruined by Episode 18 and later reading through Chapter 8 (Fractal Androgynous), I had to expand on how it could have gone better, how to contend with conflicts of interest, and how Okabe walks a fine line of requite while contending with ongoing changes to the world line. In essence, this story is an ongoing contemplation of feelings and motives that are only understood by Okabe as he further captivates the tender young heart of Ruka, and is the genesis of several sequential stories regarding the future events of a world line spent by Urushibara's side.

Enjoy the adorables and feels!

Kanda River, Akihabara, Tokyo; 6:52p.m.

'Having you for my boyfriend, even for a day... It meant everything to me.'

The soft, aching words of Urushibara Ruka slowly drifted around inside his head, and the slip of paper she had presented before running off remained in his fingers, slightly damp with sweat from the relentless warmth of the early August evening. Arms draped over a sidewalk bench, somewhere between the Yanabayashi shrine and his chaotic little apartment in Akihabara, Okabe Rintarou watched the world go by, processing the past few hours with a sense of melancholy.

All I can think about is how disjointed that date was. How disjointed I was to boot. Urushibara wanted only to have the great Kyouma prancing around by her side, exclusively to her whim. But all I did was stutter and stumble like some weakling. She had more composure than I did, and she was the one that wanted this in exchange for...

Hesitating, his eyebrows furrowed sadly.

Right. Giving up what she's always wished for. And all I did in return was falter. But, bless her heart, it didn't matter what I did. She was happy regardless.

Head rising up towards the sky, with rich colors of a late-summer sunset slowly darkening, he didn't bother checking the time.

I could've done better. Couldn't I? Before stealing away the one precious thing that finally let her be able to release the feelings she's kept inside. Feelings for me.

Chin lowering, his eyelids then sank shut in knowing shame.

Rukako harbors a deep, passionate crush on me, and until her D-mail, she simply kept it all inside for fear of social taboo... As a boy. It wasn't even until today that I truly knew Ruka was happier as a girl. I could see it in her psyche. A conscious weight was lifted from her shoulders, even though she was still almost exactly the same person. All it took was the switch of a chromosome... And a little time travel.

Head turning, he held his breath in a pause of thinking.

Perhaps... I could leap back, knowing what I've experienced. Then I could do better. But only I will understand why. The others probably won't let me do it. It'd be a waste of time. They're just waiting for the pager number... Then in an instant, this would all be negated to save Mayuri, and Ruka can't do anything about it. Caught in the undertow of changing realities. Kurisu wanted to spare feelings with her in the first place, going off and blindly changing her identity without her consent. But Makise doesn't quite understand. Perhaps she doesn't want to, now that she knows how Ruka feels about me.

Shaking his head, he sighed.

That's silly. Kurisu, jealous? She can hardly look at me straight on... Less so when the great Hououin Kyouma enters the lab's presence. I can hardly imagine her being jealous of Ruka. Who could ever hold a grudge against such an innocent lamb? Nobody could. Nobody's upset that I went on a date with her, nobody's upset that I was her boyfriend for a day... I could leap back, and nobody would care or know the difference. I could do today over again, and do far better than my earlier bumbling. Maybe then I could walk away at the end of the day, knowing I did so much more for Rukako. Knowing I actually earned the pager number, instead of just accepting it out of her good graces.

A smile lifted his features for the first time in a while.

Maybe then I won't feel so guilty. What's the harm anyway? We'll still send the D-mail in the end, and meet the same objective. One step closer towards saving Mayuri's life.

Leaning forwards, his heart stirred.

I just have to figure out how I can do this before we text the pager. As soon as I return to the lab tonight, they'll be ready to do exactly that, and I'll miss my chance. I'll just tell them we'll do it tomorrow morning, and leap back once everybody is gone. Do I just wait them out until then?

His eyes drifted down to his shoes.

This does seem underhanded though. I could say I'm being selfish but, with what's at stake and everything I've been through... No. No faltering, fool. I'm in command of the future gadget lab, and I've been the one leaping over and over through time and space. Steins Gate chose me, and I chose this path. I'll see it through, no matter what it takes. Even if that means redoing a day, for Ruka.

Sighing, he propped his head on his arms, staring at the gap in the concrete sidewalk below him.

Taking a leap, for sweet, gentle Ruka Urushibara.

I hope its worth it.

Having ignored numerous texts and two phone calls, Okabe checked the time on his phone while walking out of the entrance of a small eatery.

Nine thirty-seven... Guess I could feign being busy and respond.

Sending a text to both Mayuri and Kurisu in tandem, he then found his phone vibrating like mad moments later.

Good lord... Look, just go home, or wherever. We'll send the D-mail tomorrow. Sorry about being gone... Lost track of time.

Eyebrows furrowing at Makise's following response, he rolled his eyes.

Perhaps you've forgotten your first date, assistant. These things happen as they do. Woe be those who have no patience for quality time...

His expression then softened as a different text appeared, from Ruka.

'Dearest Okabe, thank you for everything today. I wanted to say something earlier but I didn't stop you from leaving, I apologize. Perhaps another time I will tell you. El Psy Congo'

A momentary smile graced his face.

Ah, young grasshopper. Though I am disappointed with myself earlier, you...

Pausing and re-reading the text, Okabe's feet drew to a halt.

'I wanted to say something - Perhaps another time I will tell you.'

Heart sinking from the implication, he then pocketed his phone.

Ambiguity aside, I'm almost certain about what she means... And I walked away, unexpectedly clueless. Of course.

Hands sliding into the pockets of his dress pants, he began heading home, brimming with new resolve.

This ends my qualm with this, once and for all. I'm going to leap back. For Ruka, and then for Mayuri. It'll be worth it.

Sneaking on tiptoes towards the metal shutter in front of the Tennouji CRT shop, Okabe craned his head outwards towards his window, confirming a lack of light from inside his apartment.

Hopefully everybody is gone. Ordinarily I'd have some explaining to do, but in a short while, none of this will have even transpired.

Reaching down and pulling the shutter up, just enough to crawl underneath, he looked around for any bystanders, before slipping under and vanishing inside.

Mr. Braun would probably kill me, repeatedly, if he knew I just did this... Good thing he doesn't bother to lock his own premises. Not that there's much of value in here anyway...

Pulling his phone out of his pocket and turning on the screen, a small source of illumination revealed the dim interior, and Okabe carefully stepped inside, moving around the front counter and past full shelving, spotting the remote to the forty-two inch television laying in its same place on the wooden table.

Right. Activating phone wave lifter, disabling audio output.

Turning on the TV and muting the volume, he gingerly set the remote back onto the table, and retraced his steps, far easier with the large screen lighting up the inside. Dropping onto all fours and shuffling out from under the shutter, he carefully pushed it down onto the ground, checking his surroundings out of mild paranoia, and then walking calmly towards the stairwell. Shuffling into the building's shadow, he burst into a hurried ascent up the dark steps, whirling around the corner and then slowing to a near-tiptoe approach to his door. Twisting the door handle, exhaling as the hinges offered a groan of age upon opening, he then peered inside with apprehension, vision readjusting to the dim gloom of the lab.

Nobody here...?

Stepping inside with reserved footfall and slowly pulling off his sneakers, a silent sigh of relief left his lungs as he closed the door behind.

Good.

Walking towards Daru's computer, with the whir of case fans revealing its state of being perpetually on, he moved the mouse, bringing the screen away from the black power-saving screensaver and promptly blasting Okabe's vision with the bright desktop display.

Ugh. Lets see... Phone wave programming still open and active, lifter downstairs is ready, now I just need to...

Moving over, his hand plucked the time-leap headphones off the desk, and for a moment he stood still, eying the device with contemplation.

Should I really do this? Am I risking my health and the fate of the future, just to go on a better date with Rukako? Do I go ahead and go through with this?

Squinting from a swirl of doubt and reason in his mind, his chin rose with hesitation, only for distinct chuckle to rise from within his chest, clearing the confliction from his mind.

"Of course I do. I challenge the world, as a mad scientist! No almighty forces of the universe shall deny Hououin Kyouma free will to better entertain the fair lady URUSHIBARA RUKA!"

Pulling his pumped fist down from above his head, and in a swift series of movements, Okabe slipped on the headphones and typed several quick keystrokes upon the keyboard, watching electricity spew forth from the Phone-Wave and surround him as the room shook vigorously under his feet.

Doing better for Ruka. It'll be worth it. I hope.