Daddy Daryl
Chapter 17
Ivy Dixon

Beth
Ivy Dixon was born just over an hour ago and since she was born, Daryl and I haven't really had the time to just bond with her on our own because as soon as she was born, everything happened so fast. Once Daryl had cut the cord, I had to push out the afterbirth, which Carol kindly took away from me. I didn't want to see that, it looked like a dying jellyfish or something, it was not a pretty sight. I thought once the afterbirth was done with, and Maggie gave me the three stitches that I needed Daryl and I would be left alone with Ivy but no. Carol gave us a crash course in parenting and showed me how to breastfeed, the best way to hold her, how to swaddle her (you know that think where you wrap them up like a burrito?) and ho best for Daryl to help me with breastfeeding and stuff. It was just so much to take in and to be honest I didn't hear most of it because I couldn't stop looking at Ivy. She was just so little, perfect and beautiful.

Maggie said that Rick and everyone else was dying to meet Ivy but I told Daryl that I wasn't ready to have visitors yet. All I wanted to do was spend a little time with Daryl and Ivy, just the three of us to bond and have a little quiet time to ourselves, it's been a very crazy few hours and I just want to be with my new little family to take it all in. Daryl agreed that everyone could wait a few hours, I don't think he wanted to share her with anyone just yet. I've hardly had a chance to hold her because Daryl has been holding onto her like a lifeline. He doesn't want to let her go and I know they say some mothers get separation anxiety when they're not around their newborns but I think it's going to be Daryl with the separation anxiety. He is so in love with her that it's unreal, I never thought a man could love a child as much as Daryl loves Ivy and she is not biologically his but it doesn't seem to matter to him. I knew he was going to be an amazing father, Ivy is only an hour and a half old and he's proving that already.

Carol and Maggie agreed to pass on the message to everyone else that Daryl and I wanted some time with Ivy on our own without visitors. They were finally going to let us have the time we want with her, I might actually get to cuddle her for more then five minutes before Daryl takes her away from me again. I don't know what he's going to be like when people start coming in to see her, they are all going to want a little hold, that's what people do when they meet babies for the first time. He is going to have to share Ivy with them, he won't like that. He doesn't even like sharing her with me and I was the one who gave birth to her.

"I know you're tired. I'll let the three of you just relax for a little while, I'll keep everyone else at bay for a little while. Just give us a shout if you need anything," Maggie said as she and Carol grabbed the last of the stuff they brought with them and started heading towards the door "Congratulations you guys, she really is beautiful," She commented as she placed a kiss on the top of my head, Daryl's cheek and of course Ivy's head.

"Congratulations the two of you. You're going to be wonderful parents." Carol commented with a loving look at the three of us and then the two of them left the room.

Daryl took a seat on the bed next to me and he smiled at me, a loving smile that melted my insides. I smiled back at him and reached my hand out to Ivy. Daryl placed her laying down on her front on my chest, she didn't even flinch from the movement. I wrapped my arms around her to keep her secure and because I need to touch her. I just feel like I need to touch her and keep hold of her all the time.

I know I spoke about Daryl being in love with her but I am so in love with her as well. I never realised that it was possible to love someone as much as this. My heart feels so full and content, I just couldn't stop looking at her and taking in all of her beauty. She was so beautiful and perfect, there was no hint of Axel in her at all which I was thankful for and something I had been worried about. I was worried she would look like Axel and everyone would figure out the truth, the truth I have been hiding for months. If she doesn't look like him then maybe she doesn't possess any of his traits or anything and she'll be absolutely fine.

"What you thinking?" Daryl asked quietly, scared he would wake Ivy up.

"Nothing," I smiled at him.

"You happy?" He asked.

"I've never been happier. What about you?" I questioned.

"Never been happier," He said.

"Can you believe that she is all ours? This little beautiful human belongs to us and I can't help but think how crazy it is that she is going to rely on us for everything. We're going to have to show her the way of the world, it's all down to us," I told him.

"It is all down to us and you know what? She's gonna fine. You're gonna be a great mother and I'll be try to be best daddy," He said "And hey, if we mess it up, there are other people to help out," He joked… sort of.

"Daryl? What did you mean earlier? You know, when I was in labour and I said I'm never having more children, you said never say never. Do you want us to have more children?" I asked him.

"I don't know but like I said, never say never, you don't know what the world is gonna be like a few years time. For all we know, out there right now there could be a group of scientists or something coming up with a cure or a vaccine and a way to end this. I know it sounds unlikely but you never know. What if in the future, we can rebuild our lives and start really living again? Anything is possible," He explained to me.

"Isn't it normally me who's the optimistic one?" I questioned.

"After what I saw today, it's ok to be a little optimistic." He replied.

It was the middle of the night and I had just gotten comfortable when Ivy started to cry, loudly, meaning that she was probably hungry. I have been breastfeeding since she was born and to be honest I am exhausted and Daryl saw how exhausted I was so we decided that we are going to breastfeed Ivy as well as use formula so that not only can I rest, Daryl can get a chance to feed her and be involved with that side of things as well. The formula we were only going to use when I was really tired, like now, and to be honest I am too sore to move to go and get her. I've been up and walking around for the last few hours but everything hurts and it hurts when I pee because of my stitches. No one tells you about this side of motherhood do they? I thought it would be all happy and amazing but there is down sides to this.

Daryl got out of bed and I watched as he picked her up out of her cot bed and held her close to his bare chest. She calmed down slightly but she was hungry and I knew she wouldn't stop crying until she had been fed. I had already made a couple of bottles earlier and although they were going to be cold, it would have to do because it's not like we have a microwave or anything to heat it up. Carol said it should be fine to give her milk without it being warm, babies prefer it warm because breast milk is warm but I'm just too sore and tired right now. Maybe in a few days when we get into a routine things will be a bit better but she was only born today and Daryl and I are just winging it a little right now.

He gave Ivy the bottle and she instantly stopped crying. He came and sat back down on the bed with her, it was just so amazing to watch the two of them and I think Ivy already knows that Daryl is her daddy and he will take care of her. She seems to like him more then me right now which sucks, considering I was the one who went through all the pain of labour, an uncomfortable pregnancy and I had to have stitches in my vagina for that girl. I hope she appreciates all of this when she's older. Daryl hadn't taken his eyes off her since he picked her up, I don't think he even knew I was watching them. These are the moments that I live for now, just Daryl, Ivy and me.

Halfway through the bottle Daryl removed it from her mouth and she started grumbling at him. I couldn't help but laugh lightly at her sounds "I know you wanna finish it but we gotta burp you, or you'll get a stomach ache and you'll cry more. We don't want you to cry," He told her as he lifted her up, put the muslin over his shoulder and started to pat her back gently, it didn't take long for a big long burp to come out of the little human.

"She burps like a man," I stated with amusement.

"That's my girl," Daryl replied with a large smile on her face as he carried on feeding her the rest of her bottle "Someone is hungry," He said.

"I can't help but feel a little bad. You've been doing most of the work since she's been born and I haven't really done anything," I told him.

"Beth you gave birth to her. I saw what you went through, the least I can do is change a few diapers and feed her a little. It's nothing compared to what you went though today," He answered.

"I know but as her mother I feel like I should be doing everything. What if people judge me for not doing enough? They might just think I'm being lazy or can't be bothered or something. I don't want people to think that I'm a bad mother," I said.

"No one is ever going to think you're a bad mother and if they do, you send them to me." He replied.

Ivy finished her bottle and Daryl burped her again to make sure she was completely clear and then he got up to put her back in her cot bed. I watched as he gently placed her inside and covered her up with her blankets and he just watched her for a moment. You could see the look of love and pride over his face as he watched her. He bent down and place a very gentle kiss on the top of her head before coming back to bed. He slid in under the covers and I shuffled over carefully and cuddled into him, he wrapped his arm around me in a protective way, I laid my arm over his stomach and traced small circles with my finger. I wish we never had to move from the this spot because it was perfect for us. Ivy and Daryl are my life now, we're a little family and nothing is going to change that.

Daryl drifted off to sleep and started snoring lightly. I carried on tracing circles on his stomach because I know it calms him and he likes it, I'm worried if I stop then I'm going to wake him up and he deserves to rest. Since I gave birth he's been running around and doing everything for both myself and Ivy. He knows how much pain I'm in so he's been making sure I take the pain medication we have here, when I'm supposed to be taking them, I'll forget. He's been doing everything for Ivy because he knows how sore and tired I am, he's been helping me to the bathroom because I can't quite walk on my own yet and he's basically become superman. I meant what I said to him about people thinking I was a bad mother, they might think I'm not doing enough for her or something. I just want to make sure that I'm doing everything that I'm supposed to be doing but I've never been a mother before so I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be doing.

Obviously mothers and fathers share the responsibility of babies and they both do their bit but is Daryl doing too much? Am I supposed to be doing more? Will Ivy know I'm her mother if Daryl is doing everything with her whilst I watch? I just don't know anymore and I'm so worried. I want to be a good mother to her, she deserves to have good parents and she's already got an amazing father, I just want to be the mother that she deserves. Rick popped his head in earlier to meet Ivy, everyone else said they would wait until tomorrow to give Daryl and I some time with her but even he commented on how much Daryl was doing. I know he didn't mean it in a way to upset me and I think he was just surprised that Daryl was doing all of the nitty gritty stuff like changing diapers and so on but I couldn't help but feel like a bad mother. I know Rick didn't mean anything by it but I can't help but think it was a dig at me for not doing enough for her.

Hopefully I will become a better mother as time goes on, maybe Daryl can show me how to be a good parent because he is obviously sailing through this whole parenting thing.

Ivy crying woke me from my sleep. I groaned as I opened my eyes and the sun hit them like a ton of bricks, it shut them again and sat up to move away from the sun so it couldn't hurt my eyes. I looked around the room expecting Daryl to still be in bed but he was nowhere to be seen. I got out of bed and went over to Ivy's cot bed, she was crying and when I lifted her up I realised why, she has done one hell of a stinker in her diaper, I would be very unhappy if my diaper smelt like that as well. I held her in one arm as I grabbed what I needed to change her and I laid her down on the bed.

I could feel someone looking at me and turned around to see Rick standing there, he was smiling at me.

"Mornin," He said as he came into the room "Do you want a hand?" He asked.

"Do you mind? I hate changing newborns, they are so small and fragile," I replied.

"It's not a problem. It's the least I could do after everything you've done for Judith," He said.

The two of us started changing Ivy's diaper but I noticed that halfway through, Rick stopped helping but was guiding me and telling me the best way to do things. He was obviously just trying to help me so that I would be ok to do this on my own if no one was around. It didn't take as long as I thought it would and once the diaper was changed I realised how easy it is, once you know how.

"Thank you Rick," I said with a smile as I picked Ivy up.

"Like I said, it's the least I could do," He replied "Whilst Daryl isn't here and hogging her, do you mind if I have a hold? I have been dying to meet this little one for a while," He said.

"Of course," I answered and handed Ivy over to Rick. He looked like a natural as he held her in his arms and gently swayed her back and fourth "I know what you mean about Daryl hogging her, I've hardly had a chance with her," I said and we both laughed.

"He loves her alright. It's nice to see the two of you happy," He commented.

"I'm happy, really happy actually. When I was a little girl I wanted to have children and a husband that took care of us and although Daryl and I are not married, he's the best father I could ask for. He really adores and he does everything he can for her and for me. He's one in a million," I gushed.

"You look after him," He told me.

"Oh I will." I replied.

Rick stayed for another couple of minutes just holding Ivy but then he said he had to get back to whatever it was he was doing. He promised to come and check in on us later, he actually asked if it was ok to bring Carl and Judith. I don't know why he had to ask but of course I said yes, he told me that Carl has been dying to see me to make sure that I was ok. It was sweet of him and I know that Carl did have a little crush on me, it was nice to have a man like Daryl who loves me but still pretty awesome for someone to have a crush on me. That was the kind of boost I needed after giving birth and feeling as horrible as I do about my body.

I don't feel like myself, body wise, I didn't want to say anything to Daryl because I know he would get angry at me for thinking bad things about myself but it was hard. When I look in the mirror I see stretch marks and after giving birth the skin around my stomach is all saggy and horrible. I wouldn't be surprised if Daryl didn't want to look at me naked because I didn't even want to look at myself naked and just to top it all off, my breasts are leaking milk.

I'm hoping that because I'm young and it's my first baby that my body will snap back a little. I know it probably won't be the same as it was before I got pregnant but it's got to be better then this, I know I only gave birth yesterday and it's going to take longer then that for my body to go back but I just hate looking at it. After Daryl fed Ivy last night she woke up again, Daryl went to see to her and I looked down in bed and I seen my stomach properly for the first time since giving birth, I was horrified with it. You can see all of the stretch marks going across it and it looked like it belonged to an old woman or something, I managed to cover it with my pjs before Daryl saw it. I can't imagine he would find it attractive or sexy.

I heard the familiar sound of Daryl's heavy boots walking this way so I made sure my pjs covered up my body, just in time for him to come in. He smiled softly at me and went to check on Ivy, a large grin spread over his face as he saw her fast asleep, he noticed the bag with the dirty diaper in and put it out of the way before sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Where'd you go?" I asked him as I wrapped my arm around him.

"Just for a smoke," He answered.

"Rick came by," I stated "He helped me change Ivy and he got her back to sleep. He said he's going to come by later on today with Carl and Judith," I informed him.

"I saw Carl outside, he's very worried about you," He told me.

"He's very sweet," I replied.

"You know he has the biggest crush on you," He said.

"I know he does and it's sweet, but don't worry, you're the only man for me," I told him and place a wet kiss on his rough cheek.

"I should hope so," He replied "You feeling any better?" He asked as he turned to face me with a serious face.

"Still a bit sore but I'll be fine," I said.

"There's some pain killers on the table. Take them if you need them," He instructed "I know you don't like taking them but if you're in pain then do, I don't like to see you in pain and I got weak ones so you can still breast feed if you want," He added.

"I appreciate it,"

I unwrapped my arms from Daryl and laid back on the bed as my back was beginning to hurt from the uncomfortable position. Daryl took his boots off and laid down next to me, he didn't say a word which was weird for him because normally he's telling me something that I need to be doing or something. There is something bothering him but I don't want to push him, he'll just close down, if he wants to tell me then he will but if he doesn't… well I guess I'll just have to try and figure out what the problem is.

"I saw you," He stated.

"Huh?"

"Last night, I saw you rearranging you clothes to cover yourself up. Everything ok?" He questioned.

"I'm fine, just looking at my stomach after giving birth, it's not the prettiest sight but it'll be fine," I told him, not wanting him to know just how much I hated my body right now.

"I think you're beautiful," He said.

"I know you do," I replied.

"Look, Carol warned me about this. She said a lot of mothers don't like the way they look after giving birth but it's fine. You should be proud of the way your body is, you had a baby and that is the best thing in the world. Your body is just proof that you're a mother, and if I say so myself, I think you're quite the milf," He explained.

"Milf? Thank you," I said with a laugh "You have to understand that before I got pregnant, I loved my body. I thought I had a pretty good body, everything was in proportion and in the summers I used to like showing it off when I went swimming with my friends but now after having Ivy, it just don't look that good anymore. I got saggy skin and stretch marks, I love Ivy and it was all worth it but I just wish I had the body I had before. The stretch marks won't ever go away, they're always going to be there. They're rough and horrible. My skin won't be soft again. The saggy tummy might go away but it might not and if it doesn't then I'm just stuck looking like this forever, it's not attractive," I explained to him "You can tell me a million times how good I look but if I don't like it then I don't like it, I feel horrible right now. Nothing is in proportion and I feel like I've been branded… and I have leaky boobs," I added for good measure.

"Well I'll make it my personal mission to make you feel sexy again because you are. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and I don't care if you have stretch marks or saggy skin or leaky boobs. To me you look amazing and you won't change my mind. If you want to do something about it and change things then I'll help you if it's what you want but I just think you're perfect," He told me and I couldn't help but start crying like a loser.

Daryl opened his mouth to speak when Ivy started crying from her cot bed.

"Here we go again." He stated and got up off the bed to tend to her.

And there we have it folks!
This is the LAST chapter of Daddy Daryl.

I'm not sure if any of you got notification about chapter 16?
Whilst I was uploading the site said there was an error,
I went onto my page without logging in and the chapter is there.
It is saying I updated it on the 22nd April,
I posted chapter 16 last week.

If you could all read it,
That would be great!

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I do hope you have all enjoyed this story.
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Until next time...