OFF TO THE RACES

"After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
-Oscar Wilde-

At noon on Thanksgiving Day, Ozai says in the foyer of the Historic Shinohai Manor, "I remember when you wore this hideous yellow bikini. It looked fantastic on you, so I believe you can handle whatever clothes my mother forces on you."

"I wore that bikini when I was a sophomore in high school," Mai says with a smug glint in her amber eyes. She hates how much she likes that.

Katara overhears this awkward conversation as she walks inside. Kya is latched to one of her hands arm, bundled up so tightly in a blue parka that you cannot see any part of her but her rotund sapphire eyes.

She glances around the beautiful, gilded age mansion tucked away in the Adirondacks. It is impressive and ancient.

Ozai says as Katara's boyfriend steps inside, "Sixteen is the age of consent in many states, you wore it for hours in my home, and so I will not apologize."

Zuko clears his throat. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." Pause. "But I do actually remember that bikini. That was the time Ty Lee threw you in the pool and you put your feet on my knees and we balanced there in the pool."

"Zuko!" Katara slaps his arm, a teasing smile on her lips. "Inappropriate!"

He glances down at his child and then up at his girlfriend. His eyes are apologetic and Katara cannot help but forgive him, despite maintaining her glare.

"It's not like you never had a flame before. Like the guy with the tattoos you were dating when we met," says Zuko brusquely, glowering at her.

"Yeah, and sometimes I think about him when you say stupid things, because you have never once rescued an animal or accompanied me in war-torn countries saving children. Or all the picketing he organized around oil pipelines that your family owns."

Azula joins the party with her trophy wife on her arm. They both are as unwelcome as everyone else in the room.

"Zuko doesn't own those," proudly says Azula. "I do."

Katara already feels the rise of acid within her. It is a side of her that only one person has ever provoked. "Well, I hope you're investing in a fallout shelter to protect yourself from the catastrophes your destruction of Mother Earth will cause."

"Why do you think my grandfather is an avid apocalypse prepper?" Azula asks, punctuating her sentence with a cackle. "Because he's probably going to cause the end of life as we know it in order to buy another summer home, which probably costs extra since it has an entire armory, food stores and underground luxury bunker."

"That's…" Katara screws up her face in thought for a moment. "That's both evil and clever."

Ty Lee blithely adds, "Just like Azula!"

As the three miniature families size each other up, Ilah walks down the stairs built by Sozin Shinohai like a fading yet luminescent starlet, garbed in furs and a shimmering blood red dress.

"None of you are properly dressed for the festivities. Please settle in your rooms now." Ilah embraces everyone and sets them free to the usual guest rooms.

Let the games begin.

[X]

Up in their guest room, Katara tries to convince Kya to wear her formal dress. Her hair braid and loops are hard enough to force on her.

"I wanna wear my jeans!" wails Kya, jumping furiously on the bed. Zuko feels queasy just watching her.

"Because this family seems to be a gang of some sort, we all have to wear the clothes Grandmother Ilah picked out for us."

"GRAN GRAN DOESN'T MAKE ME DRESS STUPID!"

"I know," Katara replies, frowning. "I hate this too, but it's important to your father, so please put on your dress. It was very nice of Grandmother to pick it out for you."

"I. Want. To. Wear. Jeans." Kya has a defiant fire in her eyes and a determined scowl.

Her patience long gone, Katara grabs her daughter and forces her into the dress. As she does it, earning nail marks on her elbows, she realizes just how insane it is that she has to do this.

She asks herself, 'Why is this family worth being in?'

She answers herself, 'Because you inexplicably love Zuko and they're his family.'

Katara sighs and wipes her daughter's eyes.

Kya promptly blows her nose on Katara's undershirt.

Wonderful.

[X]

Azula flicks the switch of the wax warmer on her bedside table. The smell of autumn spices cloud the room more than any incense can, making Ty Lee sneeze.

"How many candles does this family even have?" Ty Lee chokes out.

"Well, one, this is not a candle; it is a wax warmer. Two, we have enough to fill a large warehouse. What can I say? We have a thing about fire." Azula picks up her dress. Silk with a ruby-studded bodice and golden lining.

Bunny has a red dress with a gold bow and copious tulle; it matches Kya's.

Ty Lee has the least formal dress of everyone.

"Do you think your family thinks I'm like," she begins before putting her hands over Bunny's ears, "a slut or poor or something? Why do I have the peasant dress?"

"I have no idea, but please do not protest. They don't think lowly of you, but they don't think highly of you either. You will never change their mind, so do not complain about your outfit," Azula says, waving her hand. She kisses Ty Lee on the cheek for good measure.

Ty Lee feigns a smile and starts getting dressed.

[X]

Mai asks, upon looking at her clothes, "Have you ever seen The Invitation?"

"We saw it together," Ozai replies. "It was Murderous Cult Movie Night."

"Yeah, well, I think we might die tonight. Why else would they force us all to wear red dresses and red ties?" Mai stares at the blood red dress with the ribbon straps and a slit up the left side. She looks up at Ozai, rolls her eyes, and puts it on.

"My mother is a very strange woman," he states.

Mai picks up the dress for Valerie and dares to grimace at the frills.

[X]

Katara walks into the main living room, Zuko and Kya by her side.

Ilah waits, putting a record on the moment she sees her grandson and great-granddaughter. The eerie '40s music gives Katara goosebumps.

It takes mere minutes for the family to congregate, all dressed in various red gowns and scarlet ties. Katara does not know what to make of it. She feels like she has walked onto the set of some strange movie from an outdated era.

"We have five hours until dinner is served. We ought to enjoy each other's company until then," says Ilah, and her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren all sit down.

The Shinohais uneasily look around at each other in total silence.

Katara sets Kya on her lap, Zuko sitting beside her, his mother and Iroh on Zuko's right. Next to Katara is Bunny, who is much more interested in her comic book than the family around her, Ty Lee beside Bunny, Azula at Ty Lee's left taking up as much space as her body can. On the love seat across from them Ozai sits with his arm around Mai, who has her eight-month-old daughter no her lap. In the armchair by the fire sits Azulon, watching them all from his dimly lit throne.

And in the center of the room, Ilah stands like the maestro of a mad orchestra.

"This will be a lovely day," she announces like a warm royal decree.

[X]

Ilah continues, "… and that's how we lost the pagoda in the garden and the Western Wing of this home. Of course, it has been beautifully restored, but I always will remember that housefire." She sets her hand on Azula's. "You were such a cute little girl."

Katara does not understand how Azula committing arson while in elementary school is supposed to be charming and funny, but Zuko kicks her ankle when she does not laugh. She forces one, not bothering to make it believable.

"Thank you, grandmother," Azula says, and Katara thinks she also might see the absurdity. Maybe everyone does but no one speaks up for fear of losing the money.

Azulon turns the conversation to business, which is far more comfortable for everyone present.

That is, except for Bunny, who continues playing GTA on her PS Vita.

[X]

"Zuko," Azula remarks as she watches Bunny and Kya poke at her baby sister, "I think I hate Valerie."

"I can't actually believe this, but we agree on something," says Zuko, turning to look at her. "I'm kind of sick of hearing about how perfect she is."

"Me too. I am supposed to be the perfect daughter, not her," Azula says, glaring at an innocent infant. "Oh, is this why you hate me?"

"Yep, pretty much." Zuko nods.

"I understand why. Beyond our obvious rivalry and vicious fights both verbal and physical, and all of the awful things I have done to you, and the lies and tricks, and that one time I tried to burn the house down with you in it but—"

"I get the point," says Zuko.

Azula smirks. "I almost got away with that last one too, if it weren't for those meddling firemen."

Zuko cannot help but laugh. She just smirks to herself, a glint in her eyes not unseen by her brother.

A voice behind them destroys what could have turned into one of their few friendly moments.

"Azula, you are still my perfect daughter and you always will be. Valerie simply reminds me of you and your childhood," Ozai says, then turns to Zuko. "And since you seem so childishly bitter, I will tell you honestly that I genuinely loved you when you were born and it took me a good three or four years before I realized you were a soul-crushing disappointment."

To that, Azula cackles and goes over to play with Bunny.

Zuko sighs and turns to his girlfriend. She smiles at him, having overheard the entire debacle.

He slowly shakes his head at her as Ozai finishes refilling his drink and goes back to talk with the adults.

[X]

Katara sits with Mai in the isolated library, Zuko pretending to read a book a few feet away. It is dusty and makes her sniffle at regular intervals.

"So, you and Zuko are pretty serious," Mai says, which is a repeated statement of hers. Katara wants to call it jealousy, but knows it is mockery.

"We have been together for four years and have a child together, so yes, obviously." Katara tries to remain positive. Mai is not the worst person in the family. Upon occasion, like Halloween, they have been something close to friends. As close to friends as Mai Shinohai makes.

"But you call him your boyfriend," says Mai, as if that matters in the modern world.

"So what? You probably called him your boyfriend at one point."

"No, I never did. I've never really had a boyfriend."

"How?" Katara demands, cocking an eyebrow.

Mai shrugs, again, somehow finding this to be normal. "I never had a lot of interest until Ty Lee forced me to date Zuko and I never once called him my boyfriend."

Zuko interjects from the other side of the room, "It's true. She introduced me as the 'person she was dating' to everyone."

Mai rolls her eyes at him. "It wasn't even real dating, at that." She returns her attention to Katara. "I dated this guy Jet briefly while Zuko dated Ty Lee, which was really nowhere near a real relationship. Then Zuko jumped right to fiancé for a month. Ozai and I never actually were in a relationship until we got married."

"During the fiancé part, you still just introduced me as the person you were dating," says Zuko.

"So what? That is the closest I have ever been to a man, until after I started introducing Ozai as my husband and not the 'person I am married to,'" Mai says, shrugging. "I think everyone would like you better if you were a Shinohai."

"I think I don't care what your family thinks of me. I care that I'm a good person who doesn't hurt anybody and beyond that, I don't give a damn what anyone's opinion is," Katara passionately says, receiving only a blank gaze from Mai.

"Yeah, you care about too much other stuff. You are probably the only person who actually can list their worst flaw as 'cares too much' in a job interview." Mai shrugs one shoulder.

"I think that's a good thing." Katara finishes her drink in one gulp.

Zuko smirks at her from the corner.

She slowly shakes her head at him as Mai goes to find Valerie.

[X]

"Ty Lee, my family adores you," says Azula, tired already of her wife's melodramatic dismay.

"No, they all think I'm a peasant slut which is why they exiled me to this corner that I asked to sit in!" Ty Lee screeches, sobbing hysterically.

Katara watches with Zuko at her side. They exchange a glance, unsure what to do.

"Just shut up," Azula says, making Ty Lee cry harder. "So, they gave you an uglier dress than mine and my grandfather looks down on you for various reasons. Get over it."

Ty Lee wails. Azula rolls her eyes. Katara intervenes.

"Well, Ty Lee, I don't really think peasant is a relevant word anymore, but if you mean someone who is worth less than five-hundred million dollars, it doesn't matter. So, maybe you didn't have that money, but you're worth more than dollar signs. And a slut also isn't a relevant word anymore, but I think you are a respectable woman whose life choices should be respected."

Ty Lee stops crying for a moment. Katara begins to sit back before Ty Lee cries even harder.

"K—K—Katara thinks I'm a p—pea—peasant slut too!" she shrieks, jumping into Azula's arms.

Azula pets her hair above her braid. "Please, love, I think you are perfect, and no one cares what Katara thinks."

"Y—y—you're ri—right. Nobody cares what she thinks." Ty Lee steps back from Azula and wipes her eyes.

Katara turns to Zuko, expecting something.

He sees his grandfather and father watching and just looks away from her.

[X]

The family goes over their Christmas lists as they impatiently await Thanksgiving dinner. Well, Katara impatiently dreads it, because the scathing comments about her, her race and her beliefs will all be cruel. And, of course, no one will ever stand up for her in this horrid brood.

"So," Mai says, turning to Katara. She has just asked Ozai to build her a very detailed third resort on the island he gave her two years ago. It is Moon-Vampire themed. "What do you want?"

Katara answers earnestly, "I don't need anything for Christmas. I would just be happy to be with my family, a family who gives gifts based on love and not as backhanded insults, bribes and bargains."

"Don't worry, I promise I'll just get you some wax for your cross," says Mai.

Everyone in the room laughs. Katara looks over her shoulder and sees that Zuko is awkwardly joining in. His eyes may be pained, but this act of betrayal disgusts her.

Katara meets Zuko's gaze and points at the side door.

They get up and walk outside.

[X]

Zuko and Katara do not speak until they reach the fountain and the large pond. The dilapidated fixtures that look like ruins of an Asian city tower above them. All of the flowers are dead except for two.

Two roses. One white, one red. Zuko plucks them and hands them both to his heartbroken girlfriend. She drops them into the pond without a second thought. They float like corpses.

"I'm sorry about them," he says, and she just stares at him. "I really am. They're kind of horrible people and I shouldn't have forced you to come here."

"You just want your daddy to love you and to get the inheritance so your sister doesn't. God, your family belongs in Game of Thrones, not real life. I think I'm taking Kya and driving to my Gran-Grans for dinner. You can stay here," Katara says. "I really hope you get your crown, and I really hope being the dear Shinohai Prince was so worth not standing up for me for two seconds. I also will have you know that my Christmas wish is to go back in time so I never get locked in that basement with you and learn that you aren't just a spoiled rich brat like I thought you were. Because, guess what? I was right to think that back then."

Zuko clears his throat, and, with a pounding heart, grasps at straws. "You—I mean, you can stand up for yourself. You're strong."

"I'm strong, yes," Katara says, her rotund eyes glistening with blossoming tears, "but we're a team. When we're going strong we're like a thunderstorm or water and fire or something else that's an unstoppable barrage of elements. We're not a team when we're around your family, because I would throw some punches in your defense if Sokka started being a jerk to you."

"I just don't want to stir the pot with them," says Zuko, now desperate.

"Good. Sit here and simmer while me and Kya leave. It isn't as if we're so committed to each other that we can't break up over something like this." Katara speeds away from the fountain that was not as calming as most bodies of water are. She runs up the stairs to her room.

And with one deep breath, Zuko walks inside, dragging his feet.

He stops in front of his sister. "I don't need this right now. Go ahead and be so pleased with yourself because you have a marriage and a cute kid and the company I got taken away and given to you and whatever else. I'm not in the mood for any of you people." Zuko sits down at the kitchen counter. "I give up."

"If you tell anyone about this, I will burn down the house with you in it and this time succeed, but I want to tell you that if you do not stop that girl from leaving you, you will regret it for the rest of your life." Azula averts her eyes. "You have such a pathetic life but you never stop trying and I honestly admire that in you, since I tend to quit things if they don't go my way. It also happens to be your only good quality."

"I do quit. I quit because I can't commit to her." Zuko rests his head on the table. Azula slams her fist down on it to make him sit up.

"Because you think you are a loser since your daddy never loved you enough, and so you subconsciously sabotage every good thing that happens to you." Pause. "She is going to leave in about three minutes, so you better stop wallowing and go hurry."

Zuko knows better than to thank his sister, so he just stands up and silently follows his girlfriend.

He stomps up the stairs and throws open the door. Kya sits atop her suitcase and Katara has just finished zipping hers.

Hastily trying to stop her, Zuko knocks over a candle with his elbow, igniting the dresser, and Katara quickly snuffs the mini-housefire out with the dress Ilah bought her. She looks up at her boyfriend with her chin jutting out and that determined look in her cobalt eyes. He sighs.

"I'm sorry I let my… I let my whatever get the best of me."

"Your low self-esteem, anger issues and lust for power?"

"Yes. All of those. Please, I love you and I know you mean it when you say you'll leave."

"Whatever." Katara shrugs. "It doesn't matter to me."

He can tell that it does, so, "Fuck this dinner. We should skip it, and go get married. Let's elope whether my family disowns me or not," he says, stunning Katara. "Let's just pack up now and leave and do it."

"Elope?" Katara laughs.

"I'm not kidding. My grandfather had a point about us. I just want to promise officially to be with you and Kya for the rest of our lives."

"He didn't really approve of your dad doing that," says Katara, startled that Zuko would ever bring shame upon himself in his family's eyes.

Zuko turns up a palm and shrugs. "We got pregnant out of wedlock. We've already screwed up as much as we possible could in his eyes. It won't hurt." Pause. "And I'm not afraid of him."

Katara wraps her arms around herself and tries to think about his request.

"I don't really believe in marriage," Katara says, then sighs. "But I believe in us and would rather be eaten by sharks than have Thanksgiving dinner with them. Let's do it."

Zuko presses his lips against Katara's.

She closes her cobalt eyes and smiles into the kiss.