Hermione always had a plan. Sure, helping defeat Voldemort threw in a few hitches, but she always knew she would get ten OWLs despite Umbridge's interference. She would get her NEWTs and then enter a career at the Ministry of Magic. Somewhere around that time Ron would be her boyfriend, they'd get married, and have children - all while she maintained a career.

Well, that was the plan anyways. What Hermione Granger didn't count on was just how boring sex with Ron Weasley would be. The first time with him was understandably uncomfortable; the next few times were fun with a little more knowledge of how their bodies interacted. Then the fizzle was gone - she didn't even get wet for him anymore. Hermione became an expert in wandless lubrication for sex, yet when masturbating she had to lay out towels or change the sheets. They hadn't started living together, although Ron had tentatively brought up the subject one day before she rushed off to a meeting. It became easy to push Ron away, finding excuses of work, getting ready for a Burrow dinner, or a night at the pub. Spending less time together made Hermione realize how uncomfortable she was with Ron, so it was no surprise when she opened his bedroom door to find his freckled ass pumping to enthusiastic squeals of "Won-Won!"

'Well, that is going to make Burrow dinners awkward,' she thought to herself as she headed to the kitchen. Hermione didn't mind that they hadn't noticed her discovering them in bed. She scrawled "We're done. HG" onto a piece of parchment, and left it at Ron's place at the table before she left. The rest of her night was spent drinking tomato soup from a large mug and finishing up her modified magical taser.

Career, boyfriend, marriage, children. The plan was a rather vague now without Ron filling the role of boyfriend, then husband and father. Hermione wondered if she should feel offended that Ron didn't respond except to owl her a simple "Sorry."

"Granger, what now?" Hornsby huffed, not bothering to look up from his writing.

"Sir, I wanted to ask about the analyst position with the Muggle Artifacts department."

"Goldstein got it."

She startled at his short response, "I spoke to you about it a month ago, I didn't receive any -"

"Goldstein got it; you just weren't right." Hornsby finally looked up. "Granger, you've got technical qualifications, but people have to actually like working with you before giving you a job. Now go, I have an idiotic meeting to fall asleep in."

Being passed over for promotion for the third time hurt, then to find out she was disliked by all her coworkers made it better. Hermione was dogged by paparazzi who took pictures of her alone, pictures she found in the newest Prophet collaged next to Ron and Lavender trying to sneak out of St. Mungo's. She had always taken care of birth control, when they were together, but with the forgetfulness of both her ex and his new girlfriend, a new baby Weasley was probably already on the way. It was a Thursday when the brilliant Hermione Granger was drinking firewhiskey straight from the bottle and crying against the side of the Archway and Veil in the Department of Mysteries - the only place she found devoid of people and paparazzi. While there she took out her taser and discharged it thinking how satisfying Ron's expression would be with a good blast to his testicles. She smiled to herself at the thought, until the taser slipped from her grasp.

The taser housing held together on the first bounce, on the second bounce it was still keeping a continuous current. Hermione watched in horror as her taser skittered towards the Veil. A low hum started before the curtains of the Veil began started fluttering rapidly, as though caught in a gale force wind. Hermione pulled out her wand quickly summoning her taser back, but was dismayed when the hum grew louder. The taser's electrical current must have disrupted the Veil's fundamental magic. 'Oh Merlin, I'm going to get sacked.' Panic quickened her steps as she skittered back away from the arch.

The Veil flickered almost too fast for the eye to see, when a body was suddenly catapulted out. Sirius Black slid from the Veil's grasp like a greased pig, straight into Hermione Granger.