So! Here we are folks, the end. And it only took two years (TWO? What the fuck?!) and three months to get here. There are many people to thank, which I'll do at the end, but for now, enjoy :)

"In an official statement released today by city hall, Candace Marshall has announced her resignation as mayor of Gotham city. It comes after recent allegations of bribery and corruption, as well as ties to Nisson Pharmaceuticals, which, alongside Arkham asylum, is currently under investigation for severe malpractice."

Sat in the driver's seat, Bruce snorted. Resigned. Not fired - resigned.

He would've liked to say that he was surprised. But he wasn't in the slightest. He'd always known the chances of anyone serving any real jail time were slim. People like that never did, not before Batman and only occasionally during, so they certainly wouldn't now. They just slipped away, nice and quiet, to live a comfortable life off whatever severance package it took to keep their mouths shut. And for the ones who might not be able to maintain that silence, the fates of people like Adams and Crane would be ample incentive.

Still…it would've been nice if, for once, the fat cats got what they deserve. And, not for the first time, Bruce considered staying, redonning the cowl if only to make them face justice. But he couldn't. What power he'd had as Batman had evaporated the moment his identity was revealed and endangering the safety of those he cared about - Alfred, Lucius and Gordon to name a few - for the sake of what could easily morph into petty revenge just wasn't worth it. He'd done all he could and at least he could bow out knowing he'd saved millions of lives. Not the worst way to end a career.

Now he just had to think about what to do with his retirement.

Bruce turned his attention back to the radio, which had moved onto its next topic.

"...Fox was just one of the people present at the funeral, which took pla-"

Bruce switched it off. He knew which funeral they were talking about and wasn't in the mood to listen. He'd spent the entire day trying not to think about it, of all the people yesterday's news had predicted would be there, watching Bruce's empty casket be lowered into the ground. And Alfred, having to say goodbye like that, even though he knew that Bruce was alive (thanks to a message passed on by Lucius), it formed a lump in Bruce's throat that he couldn't swallow down.

"Think fast!"

Bruce only just managed to avoid a sandwich to the face, catching it in his hands and wiggling it triumphantly to earn himself a grin.

"My man's still got it," Joker said, climbing into the passenger seat.

"It's only been a week," Bruce replied, looking to see what sort of sandwich he'd been given before resting it on the dashboard.

"And you've done precisely jack shit exercise in that time. You may've given up the night shift, sweetums, but that's no excuse to get lazy."

Joker got a look for that, although he was too busy unwrapping his own sandwich to notice. After all Bruce's body had been through, it deserved a damn sight more than a week off. But this was Joker. He'd kept Bruce on his toes for the past twenty years and wasn't about to let up now.

Taking a large bite of his food, Joker's face screwed up in disgust and Bruce was ready to take the sandwich away to stop him wasting food yet again. But the disgust seemed to be aimed at the radio that he'd switched back on rather than his meal.

"News is boring," he said, skipping through stations. "Let's have some tunes."

Joker settled on a station playing music Bruce recognised but couldn't name and hummed as he dove back into the sandwich. Bruce couldn't help smiling. For all his maniacal elegance, Joker ate like a child.

As Bruce pulled the car out of the parking lot, Joker dropped the food into his lap and pulled down the sun visor to look at himself in the mirror.

"Y'know, I'm not too sure about this blonde. Washes me out. I might go for the red next time."

Bruce gave a non-committal nod but didn't say anything. He didn't want to admit it (especially not to Joker) but, for him, any colour that wasn't green didn't seem right. Not that the blonde was bad, and red would probably work just as well, but it wasn't Joker.

A sharp finger prodded his arm.

"Hey, Brian,"

Bruce bit off a sigh. Fucking Brian. To his everlasting chagrin, the name had stuck, to the point where even Bruce himself couldn't think of a better one. And even if he had, Joker had gotten the made before Bruce could suggest anything else.

Asshole.

"You ever figure it out?"

Bruce glanced at Joker. "What?"

"The rat. The folks at Nisson aren't sharp enough to have figured out who you are by themselves."

Or, rather, Joker didn't want to believe they'd managed what he hadn't.

Bruce shook his head and sighed. "No. The list of people who know is short and none of them would've given it up. At least not willingly."

Alfred wasn't even a consideration and he liked to think he knew the rest more than well enough to know they wouldn't stab him in the back like that.

But he'd been wrong about people before.

"Hmm," Joker said, giving Bruce a contemplative look. "Well, I suppose it doesn't matter now. What's done is done."

Bruce didn't feel quite so generous but Joker was right. It'd happened and nothing he did would change it.

The sun visor was pushed back up and there was a gleam in Joker's eyes when they landed on Bruce again.

"Although," he continued and Bruce wasn't sure he liked the smile that spread across Joker's lips. "It could be fun to find out."

"No," Bruce said immediately. "We're supposed to be disappearing, remember?"

Joker didn't reply, smile growing before he turned to look out his window. Bruce knew this wouldn't be the end of the conversation. And it wasn't going to be the last time Bruce thought about it, either.

They were quiet, Bruce focused on driving as Joker finished his sandwich, as they headed for the outskirts of the city. When the exit sign loomed up ahead, Bruce felt the hairs at the back of his neck rise. He'd said goodbye to his life, family, friends. Now he was saying goodbye to his home.

"So, we decided where we're headed, yet?"

In a rare show of, well, recklessness was probably the word, no solid plan had been made for where they should go when they left Gotham. Perhaps some of Joker's chaotic nature was rubbing off on Bruce. Which couldn't be good.

"Where would you like to go?" Bruce asked.

Joker tapped his chin. "Hmm. Can I choose anywhere?"

"Anywhere you think you can behave well enough to blend in."

Joker snorted. "You act like it didn't take you a full two hours to notice me at your little shindig. And even that was only because I wanted you to."

Bruce had to concede on that, although not completely. "There's a difference between a few hours and a few months."

Joker waved his hand dismissively. "Then I guess you'll have to keep me entertained, won't you?"

He waggled his eyebrows and stuck out his tongue, and Bruce couldn't help laughing. Yeah, he most definitely had his work cut out for him. At least he'd never have to worry about getting bored.

"Fine," he said eventually. "Then pick a place, wherever you want."

It took Joker a full five minutes to come up with an answer. "Chicago!"

Bruce frowned. "Why there?"

Joker shrugged. "Why not?"

And that was as good a reason as any, Bruce supposed, so Chicago it was.

As the exit sign came and went and they officially left Gotham, Bruce's grip on the wheel tightened. There was something he had to do, something he owed Joker. Something that didn't feel quite so easy this time around. But after everything, he wasn't going to back out of this, so, he cleared his throat but kept his eyes fixed straight ahead as he said,

"Love you too."

Bruce felt Joker's eyes on him and, as Joker leaned in, the air in the car seemed to still, taking some of the breath from Bruce's lungs. Lips pressed gently against his cheek and when Joker settled back into his seat, the air began to move and Bruce could breathe again.

A familiar song began to play on the radio and, either as eager to avoid the tension as Bruce or just completely oblivious to it, Joker smacked his knees and sang along.

"Oh well, I'm the type of guy who will never settle down. Where pretty guys are, well you know that I'm around…"

Bruce smiled, letting the not entirely awful sound of Joker's voice wash over him as he drove.

6 months later

Sat in the office he'd managed to hold onto during the pointless nonsense that was the public inquiry, (through no small amount of blood, sweat and tears that weren't his own), Carl Nisson looked at the email he'd received two days ago.

It contained only three words: I've found them.

A grainy picture of a two men followed - one stocky and dark, the other skinny and blonde - and it didn't take a genius to know who they were. You could dye hair and paint skin but you couldn't hide bone structure.

Nobody else knew about the email. After all the company had been through, it wanted nothing more than to wash its hands of the whole thing. Which Carl understood, accepted and, honestly, preferred. In their hands, the task of killing Batman had become a clusterfuck, so this time, Carl was keeping it simple. No big assassin organisations, no clandestine meetings in parking lots in the middle of the night. Just one man, the most skilled in his field, someone Carl would have used before if people with bigger wallets and even bigger mouths hadn't overruled him. Someone who, most importantly, had dealt with Batman before.

The intercom on Carl's desk buzzed, followed by the voice of his secretary.

"Slade Wilson is here to see you."

The corner of Carl's lips lifted. He hoped Wayne and the freak had enjoyed their holiday. It was about to come to an end.

"Send him in."

(I wasn't entirely sure if I'd have Bruce actually say I love you cos it's Bruce innit? But in the end I thought fuck it, I love fluff, so it's going in)

So, firstly, gigantahugeamungous thanks and hugs and high fives to Solziv for being the one to encourage me with this story in the very beginning and being a most patient sounding board. You're an absolute gem! And thanks to all the other glorious people who've read through bits here and there and offered tips, advice and encouragement. It's been invaluable and has definitely made me grow as a writer over these last couple of years.

And a huuuuuuge thank you to everyone who's read this story, commented, recced, drawn art, left kudos, you're all amazing. This is the first story I've written that's ever had this level of attention and the fandom has been wonderful, welcoming me with open arms and letting me play around with these two ridiculous characters :DDD

And, with that, I'm now off to, I dunno, draw gay stuff or whatever.