AN: I am writing this mostly to improve my typing, spelling, and grammar. Feel free to insult to your hearts content. This is not an SI. I repeat, this is not an SI. This is a Stargate/BTVS crossover.

Summary: A Goa'uld gets abandoned on Earth after the humans rebel against the gods. It must thrive or die. Thriving is harder than imagined as a world of demons is opened up onto him.

The Wicked Rise Of The Weird God

666

Chapter 1

666

It all began in 4200 B.C on planet Earth...

I felt cold as something gripped me. Screeching, as I opened my eyes to see myself beholding a giant face. The face was old, olive skinned, and kind looking with a serene expression. The screeching sounds I could hear coming from my lungs were strange, as were the thoughts running through my head.

He spoke some words in a guttural and strange tongue, that I somehow understood. "We bless you, child of the gods, so that you may smite your great father's enemies and provide for his table." The face smiled kindly at me as I screeched again. The sound was so weird. So new.

The face began to speak again. "You are a wonder to the universe, and I am pleased to bear witness to the birth of a new god."

The world rushed by me in a blur as the giant thrust me at the face of a giant dark skinned child. His face was larger than my entire body. The black giant tilted his head back and opened his mouth. I felt a strange sensation as the giant old man's hand loosened it's grip on my body.

My body felt utterly alien and not my own. I was so cold, yet I did not shiver. I had no real limbs, instead only tendrils of nerves and mandibles on my mouth. It felt so wrong, and yet...

So right.

I heard the words of the old man behind me speak again. "You may take your host, o' god child."

The hand loosened it's grip completely and left me laying on the old giant's open palm. I felt instinct take over as my little body leaped through the air. I landed in the black face's mouth. Memories of thousands of of mouths before this one floated into my head. Most of those mouths tried to bite down in an instant.

I felt the instincts that were so foreign and yet so familiar take control. I bit into the back of the boy's throat. Warm blood and flesh gushed into my mouth as I burrowed deeper into his flesh. I found the spine, and bit down. I felt my nerve tendrils extend up the spine and into the brain.

Instantly, I knew all that the child knew. He was the host of a god. I was a god. My memories came into focus as I gained the ability to think with more than instinct. I felt at home. Safe, warm, and secure. I could think now. I knew why I felt so foreign to myself outside of my host. My head was swimming with the memories of countless thousands of generations of primitive ancestors. Alongside those memories were the memories of my more recent ancestors.

The one who discovered the Chappa'ai. The one to discover the stockpile of technology of the ancients. The one to uplift the Goa'uld from primitive parasite to godhood. Neith was the most important of my ancestors. She who made the first Sarcophagus. Neith, who made the first alkesh.

Neith, The mother of Ra. She was the original Queen of all Goa'uld. We all know how Ra betrayed and imprisoned her. My memories were in conflict. Neith hated Ra, and Ra hated Neith. I, the holder of both their memories, hated them both.

Ra, my father. Neith, my mother. I was the first of their children that Ra allowed to take a host. I was unique.

I was...

"Rise, Apep"

I opened my eyes. The world glittered in colors. Bold and bright, I had never imagined their like. The gold of father's skirt and necklaces shined brightly in the sun. The black kohl painted around his eyes made his green eyes vibrant.

I could smell the fragrance of cypress wood and cedar. The smells were so new. I wanted to breathe them all. I could smell and taste the flavor of pomegranates on my lips. My mind struggled to process so many new things.

Ra stood before me. He was in a child's body, like my own. "Rise my son." He repeated.

I pushed myself up from the warm stone floor with one arm, The kind faced old priest grabbed my other arm to help me rise to my feet for the first time. I swayed a little before catching myself. I breathed in deeply before bowing at the waist, as protocol dictated.

"I am pleased to look upon you, great father." I spoke in a soft child's voice. I hated my soft voice. I hated my father. I hated my mother. I hated myself. I was not meant to exist.

My very existence was tainted.

"You are Apep. God of chance, Chaos, and change." Ra spoke in a voice just as soft and light as my own. "You are born to enforce my will." He continued. "You will design new devices, with your understanding of technology, here on Tau'ri."

I bowed again. "I live to enforce your will, father." I burned with hatred.

"Good, your place in my palace is complete." Ra beckoned me to follow as he turned around from the balcony, overlooking the Nile river. "I will look forward to what you create by this time next year." Or else was left unsaid.

He led me deeper into the golden walled palace. We walked into a chamber deep underground. I felt coolness for the first time. Cold was unpleasant. Coll was very pleasant. "You will have this lab, here." He gestured to the large room.

It was filled with equipment I recognized from my memories as Ra or designed in my memories of Neith. Molecular fabricators, two nano-furnaces, a stockpile of naquada, and a holographic display interface. In the corner of the lab lay a straw pallet, where a young human female slept, unaware of the gods in her midst.

I burned with white hot fury as I realized what my future would be. I was to replace Neith as Ra's chief scientist. I was in a weak child's body, isolated from the rest of the Goa'uld. I was not a lower ranked Goa'uld scientist. I was the son of Neith and Ra.

I was the god of chance, of change, and of chaos.

"You will have a lo'taur to see to your needs and desires." Ra said as he gestured to the sleeping slave. "If you please me, you will be given a domain to rule as you see fit."

If you don't was left unsaid...

"You honor me, Father." I bowed low once more. I hated to supplicate myself before this word covered in human flesh. I hated to be a worm in human flesh. I was forever to be imprisoned in one fashion or another. Be it in this dark skinned boy's body or in a lab, with only one single servant.

"I will make great creations to please you." I promised. "They will make your enemies tremble in fear."

Ra smiled. "I have no enemies." His eyes flashed golden. "All of my enemies are dust, their names wiped from existence, remembered by none."

Yes you do... father.

Ra began to walk away. "Impress me." Were his parting words as he left me alone in the lab with my lazy, sleeping slave. Hatred burned in me.

I stalked over to the female and kicked her with all of my strength. My sensitive ears could hear her ribs crack as my size underrated my enhanced strength. She woke woke with a jerk, back arching in pain as she shouted out in fear.

"Fruit and wine!" I yelled into her face.

I kicked at her again, softer this time. I did not want to kill my only servant, lest I have to fetch my own fruit and wine.

"Do not sleep in my presence." I shouted again. I was so angry at Ra. Angry at Neith. Angry at myself.

She rose to her knees, head bowed. "Yes, lord." She rose to her feet. "What kind of fruit would my lord like?" Did she just question me?

My eyes flashed in outrage as I slapped her across the face with a dull smacking sound. "Do not question your god!" I wish there was some device that would make it easier to punish my slave without the need to lay hands on such a lowly creature.

An idea came to me. I went over to the holographic interface and began to work as my lo'taur scurried from the room. I glared at her back as she left.

Hatred burned.

I turned back to the interface and began to design my first creation to please Ra.

666

I spent ten months planning the device to earn me a domain. I made it to please Ra exclusively. I called it the kara-kesh. It was a personal defense field mounted on the forearm, with the ability to emit different frequencies of energy from the palm.

With different settings, it could make two different effects. Pain, even to the point of death and a kinetic blast to repel enemies or hold them prisoner.

The personal defense field should shield from the fire of a ma'tok staff for several blasts.

Best of all, it was made in the style that Ra preferred.

Beautiful golden jewelry, worn on the forearm.

It took another month to to fabricate correctly with the slow nano-furnaces. It took a further two weeks to fashion one for myself. I made my own in silver. Ra's was in gold.

I much preferred silver to gold. Gold was a color that disgusted me. My prison lab was covered in the disgusting color. My father coveted the color for it's rarity and shine. I wanted to spit every time I saw gold.

I even had to sleep in a golden bed, in a room connected to my lab. I never left the lab. I wasn't allowed to was one of those unspoken rules. I could be accused of attempting to escape if I did.

666

"You have something for me, my son?" Ra asked with his mouth full. He reclined on a golden couch as his lo'taur children fed him peeled grapes and figs. I was disgusted to watch him masticate his food. I truly hated the creature named Ra.

"I have a great gift for you, father." I opened the cedar box to present the kara-kesh to Ra. It is a shield and a weapon all in one."

I demonstrated by turning on the shield. It formed a glowing yellowish bubble around myself. "It has been tested to be able to stand against blast of the ma'tok." Ra's eyebrows raised in surprise as he took the offered golden forearm piece.

"it also has two offensive features." I paused. "If I may demonstrate?"

Ra nodded as he stared intently at the kara-kesh on my own arm. He pushed one of his lo'taur forward. The small and skinny child shook in fear as Ra offered him up like a pig for slaughter.

"The first setting causes intense pain. Pain to the point of lethality." I showed my palm to the child, barely taller than I was. As the red crystal in the center began to glow, the child began to scream, falling to his knees. "The pain is so intense, that death will come in a matter of seconds." I said as the child began to slump to the floor.

I activated the second setting before the lo'taur fell to the floor. I set it to full power. A ripple in the air was the only sign of it's activation before the child launched into the wall at the far end of the room with a wet smack, as if slung from a catapult.

Ra began to clap. "Wonderful. Truly marvelous." Ra spoke as he began to affix his own kara-kesh to his arm. "You need to be rewarded for this. A palace of your own, perhaps?" Ra nodded to himself as he gazed at the golden ribbon wrapping around his forearm up to his hand, and ending at his fingertips.

"You are granted one hundred slaves, ten Jaffa and my southern palace in the mountains." Ra decided aloud. "If you continue to impress me, I will grant you a planet of your own."

I bowed with a smile. "Thank you, father." Inside I burned with fury. Ten Jaffa and a measly palace for my genius? Other gods were given planets to rule at birth. Why was I so cursed?

Why did I hate so much?