"You were only waiting for this moment to arrive. Blackbird, fly." - Blackbird, The Beatles.

The sun peeks through the full branches of the pine trees. The rays of light bathe my skin in ethereal warmth. It's quiet here now, safe and serene at last. The woods are clear from all other interlopers, dead and living. And the house is no longer on fire; in fact, it's completely unharmed.

I stand before the mound of earth that's filled the grave I dug ages ago, looking on it. I crouch down, placing a small, black feather at the head, before I put my hand on the dirt. Thank you.

I rise up and take a look around the vacant woods. I've done it; I've finally finished what I set out to do. I've given him what I couldn't give him before. Which means I don't any reason to stay here anymore.

I exhale. Goodbye. Stepping around the grave, I walk forward from this place. A bird chirps merrily ahead.

...

I inhale as I stretch out of sleep. The smell of coffee and breakfast makes me open my eyes. I turn my head to the right. A little smile forms on my face as I quietly watch him move something sizzling on the pan with a spatula.

He turns off the camping stove, setting the spatula down on the counter and turning. "Hey."

"Hey," I softly greet back, shifting my whole body, "What time is it?"

"Quarter after six," Dwight answers, picking up the coffee pot, "Breakfast is ready."

"Smells good," I breathe, lifting my head to view the crib, "She hasn't woke up yet?"

"No, not yet," He confirms, stirring a spoon in a small cup of coffee, "Here."

I smile, accepting the cup. "Thank you."

Dwight has a seat on the bed. As I sit up to drink, I notice that he's showered and dressed in clean clothes for cold weather.

"What time do we have to head out again?" I ask, as if I don't remember.

"I'd like to be out of here by nine," He tells me, checking his watch, "It's about a two hour drive from here."

I nod, taking another sip from my coffee. It's like hot liquid gold going down. "So, I guess I need to get up and get moving."

"I got most of it packed in the truck already," Dwight says, "All we need to worry about is the kitchen stuff and the crib."

"Think it'll fit?"

"Yeah, and we can always take it apart to pack it in and then just put it back together once we get there."

I nod again, resting my cup on my knee. I look over. "Are you nervous?"

Dwight shakes his head. "No, are you?"

I shrug my shoulders as my eyes glance at the walls. "A little," I meet Dwight's eyes again, "The Sanctuary's changing."

His eyes scan mine discernibly. "You know, you don't have to go, if you don't want to," He lets me know, "You and Birdie can stay and we can meet up every-"

I put my hand on his, quieting him. "No," I shake my head, "We're not staying, so stop saying that. We go where you go."

Dwight looks my earnest face over, before nodding. "I just don't want you to feel like you have to go, just because I have to. I got told to leave, you didn't. You could live here and...Birdie can grow up in a community with other kids."

I shake my head again. "Birdie will fine; she'll be around other kids when we go for checkups," I move my hand from his hand and up to his face, "We're going with you. This place won't be home without you."

Dwight takes my hand, holding it his warm palm as he considers.

"Alright?"

He sighs, nodding. "Yeah."

"Good," I smile playfully, "Stop trying to get rid of us."

Dwight snickers through his nose. "I'm not trying to get rid of you, I just want you to be happy. And safe."

"We'll be happy and safe with you," I lean over to kiss him, "Besides, I did say I wanted to take Birdie away from here."

He pecks my lips. "Yeah, I remember."

I kiss him back, exhaling as I break the brief, sweet meeting at the sound of the baby starting to wake up. "Alright, I'm up."

"One egg, or two?" Dwight asks, getting up from the bed and walking over to the stove.

"Two," I answer, picking Birdie up, "Do I smell sausage?"

"Chicken sausage," He says, "Might be awhile before we have fresh meat like this again."

"I thought you said there was a river there?"

"There is," He scrapes the pan, "But you're gonna get sick of fish."

"I'm Scandinavian," I chuckle, sitting down in the armchair as I feed Birdie, "I very much doubt I'll get sick of fish."

Dwight laughs a little. "I'll hold you to that."

"Are there deer where we're going?"

"Possibly."

"Do you know how to hunt?"

"Yes."

I nod my head, mouthing an "okay" as I smile at Birdie.

Dwight puts a plate of two eggs, a thick sausage patty, and a small side of greasy hash browns down on the small table.

"Did you pack my trunk yet?"

"No, not yet." He replies, sitting down on the bed again to eat.

"Okay," I breathe, smiling even more as Birdie opens her eyes and stares up at me, "Well, hello there."

She just stares, continuing to suckle.

"Are you excited?" I sweetly ask her. "Are you excited to move today?"

At the placid, jovial cadence of my voice, the corner of her mouth tips up.

I snicker, "See? Birdie wants to go."

Dwight smiles, poking his fork down on some hash browns.

...

The room that Dwight and I shared looks so bare. We aren't taking a lot of the stuff in this room, only what Dwight determined we'd need. The bed isn't stripped of anything, because we don't need any of it. I was tempted to fold up the quilted comforter, but decided not to when I figured that someone would move in here at some time and would need it more than I did.

The only things we are taking are our clothes, the baby's nursery, kitchen supplies, some food, toiletries, tools, two guns, and a few other bits and bobs that are both useful and personal. We only have so much room in the back of the truck, so we have to pack strategically and as lightly as possible. Still, I can't help but feel sentimental about the things we can't take, like the comforter, or the orangey brown armchair.

Aside from the crib, which cramped the room, though we managed, most of everything else of Birdie's stayed up on the vacant top floor until last night, when Dwight had gone up with some help to bring it down. I went up there as well, still unable to do heavy lifting, but feeling an obligation to go up after not having been up there since Dwight came through the door.

While they were in the room where Birdie and I briefly lived together, I carried her into the master bedroom down the hall. The door was closed, which made it feel as if I still needed to be invited in. But when I opened it and went in, it was empty of life. Actually, the room was quite empty of its inanimate things, too.

After it was clear and certain that he wasn't coming back, the Saviors plundered the top floor. Who took what and whether or not they redistributed some of the smaller things down in the new "Trading Post" is unknown to me, but I know that I saw a freshly showered worker wearing a polka-dotted dress that I had wore once and only once on my wedding day.

Dwight and I took the mattress, because we needed it. Neither of us acknowledged what transpired in this room, on this mattress. We needed it.

I took Birdie in later on, when Dwight was removing the nursery, because I had remembered that bottom drawer of his nightstand and wanted the things inside. The items were tossed on the floor, the nightstand having been taken, but were all still there. They're all in the trunk now, along with two other things, one of which was brought back with the leaderless Saviors that day the war ended, while the other was given to me. It was taken by Neal, my old neighbor, and was brought to me by his wife, Rachel, who is four months pregnant, in belief that I would want it. The memory of when it was taken instantly reminded me that he had had it in his possession, however I didn't realize until later why she thought I should have it.

"Sh," I tell Birdie, slipping on her second mitten, "It's cold outside, you need it."

She's squawked the whole time I've dressed her for the journey in the hat, booties, and now mittens that Frankie made her. I lined the blanket with the thin white one, so it won't get too hot in all that yarn.

"You are so fussy!" I lightly laugh, swaddling her and then picking her up.

She stops crowing and her eyes open, peering up at me.

"Did you just want me to pick you up?" I ask, patting her bottom and bouncing her slightly. "Huh? You just wanted to be held and loved on?" I kiss her nose and then her little lips. "Huh? Were you just pretending to be sad?"

The baby smiles up at me.

I chuckle, feigning shock. "You did? You tricked me? You clever little girl!"

Her smile grows into her dimples.

"What a way to worry your mother!" I continue to play, peppering her cheek with little kisses.

Birdie makes a small, amused coo that's followed by an inhale that we've determined is an attempt to laugh.

"You are so cruel to me." I laugh, which makes her smile more at my teasing.

Dwight walks in through the open door. "She laughing again?"

"Trying." I answer, smiling down at her. "Is everything ready?"

"Yep," Dwight comes over, "We're all packed." He snickers at Birdie's smiling face. "What's so funny?"

"She got what she wanted." I chuckle, watching her eyes wander towards Dwight. "Is Daddy here?"

Her smile lowers a little, as if she's trying to think about it.

"Is he here to spank you for tricking me?"

She stares at him still, considering that.

Dwight chuckles, gently taking her from my arms. "Tell her; 'No, he's here to save me from the woman who wants me spanked.'"

The baby's mouth settles, not liking to be taken from me.

"You're too sweet to be spanked," He talks to her, "Mom needs to grow a sense of humor."

I laugh at his tease, taking a strand of his blonde hair and tugging it.

"Ow!" He laughs out.

I chuckle, kissing him. "Oops."

"I'm starting to think you deserved Birdie tricking you," He kisses me back, before looking at her, "Did you see that?

Birdie's smile reappears.

"You did? You saw her pull my hair?"

She coos again, which makes the two of us laugh.

"She's only laughing, because I pulled your hair."

Dwight snickers, shrugging in agreement. "Well, she takes after somebody, I'll give her that," He hands her back to me, "You ready to go?"

"Yeah."

"Alright," His eyes look around the room "We should get going, then."

I sigh, patting the bundled Birdie. "Yeah...you gonna miss it?"

"No," Dwight says, sure, "Are you?"

I shrug. "Mm, maybe just the memories."

"Yeah," He breathes out, "But we can make new ones where we're going."

I nod my head.

He touches the small of my back comfortingly. "Let's go."

"Okay." I turn and follow him out. I do look back once, for sentimentality sake.

The Sanctuary's been operating a little differently since the Saviors lost the war a little over two months ago. For starters, the points system is gone. The workers were able to move off the factory floor, because there was always room for them upstairs. Instead of points, everyone does what they can for the community and nobody is given more than others, Savior or worker.

Reed has established a trading post, so that people can provide services in exchange for payment of goods. That way nothing has to be as tightly regulated as it had been before, aside from the armory, infirmary, and food stock. People can trade for new shoes, instead of going without after slaving all day for meager points. The "earn what you take" rule is also gone.

So far, things seem to be working without Negan. Laura, Arat, and Reed seem to have been the three who stepped up and no one's had any arguments. In fact, no one said anything when Rick told the Saviors that they were going make changes to their community, or else they couldn't be part of the future. I guess watching their leader take off when it all fell apart took the guts out of them.

But none of this matters to Dwight, the baby, and I. We aren't staying at the Sanctuary. Today, we're moving. We don't have much of a choice. Well, that is to say, Dwight doesn't have a choice. Daryl apparently isn't so easily forgiving and told Dwight he had to leave and never come back, or else Daryl will kill him. Dwight was able to get him to agree to allow for some time, seeing as I just had a baby and needed time for my stitches to heal. This deal took place in the woods some place, while I was here. Dwight did get an earful about willingly going somewhere remote with him, knowing that he could be killed, and keeping me in the dark about it.

When he came back and told me what happened, he told me that he didn't expect me to go. He would understand if I didn't want to pack Birdie up and take her two hours away from civilization. But I, of course, told him we were going. Since then, Dwight's been going out to the place where we're going to live every day to get it ready for the three of us living there.

It's for the best. Dwight's betrayal isn't universally forgiven and I'm sort of seen as an agitator after the stunt I pulled with the workers. I don't think the Saviors would make us leave, but Dwight can't stay and I don't want to stay without him. Besides, we've both wanted to leave Sanctuary for awhile.

"Watch your step." Dwight says, carefully touching my arm as he gets to the bottom of the stairs.

"Thanks." I try not to look like I'm huffing and puffing, but Birdie's heavy and I'm getting a little hot with my winter jacket on, holding her in all her knitted garbs.

We walk onto the factory floor and Dwight puts his hand on my back again as we head to the entrance. I can't help but to look at people as we pass them. A few workers nod my way and give a polite smile.

"Hey!"

I turn, smiling brightly. "Hey, Hal."

He comes up to me, one arm in a sling. He puts his uninjured arm around me. "Thought you could just make off without saying goodbye, did you?"

"It's not goodbye," I pat his back, starving back tears, "It's just see ya later."

"You're damn right, it's not goodbye," He parts from the hug, wincing, "You're hurting my arm."

"You're squishing my baby."

Hal chuckles, glancing down at her. "I was just keeping her toasty."

Birdie looks up at him, still awake.

"Where's a smile for 'ol uncle Hal, huh?" Hal beeps her nose, which gets her to smile. "There it is."

"Do all the girls fall in love with you?" I joke.

"It's the accent," Hal pecks my cheek, "And my devilish good looks."

"Always humble."

"Always," He puts his arm around me, "Look at you; all grown up and moving out."

"Don't make me cry." I continue to walk.

"You'll be alright."

"We'll come by," I assure him, even though I'm sure he doesn't need it, "Whenever Birdie has check ups."

"Sounds good."

We stroll out of the factory. There's a lot of planter pots out front, since the Saviors are starting to grow more of their own food. According to Dwight, they learned what to plant for the winter, thanks to the Widow of Hilltop. Lillian enjoys it when she's not in the library. I wave at her and she waves back, which gets the attention of Frankie, Hazel, Danica, Tonya, and Amber. I would call them "the wives", but they aren't his wives anymore. They all get up and walk down to us, each exchanging hugs with me.

"You can't take our baby," Tonya wiggles Birdie's mitted hand, "We love her too much."

"We'll visit." I say.

"Often." Frankie tells me.

"I'll try." I smile, glancing at Lillian who followed, "Bye, Lillian."

She nods. "Bye, dear."

I hold my smile, but truthfully, it's hard to say goodbye. To her doubly, for some reason; almost as hard as it is to say goodbye to Hal. I turn and see Dwight flicking his cigarette by the truck, where Laura's also smoking.

"I gotta go."

"Bye!" Hazel waves.

Hal and I head over to the two. Laura drops her cigarette and steps on it. "Morning."

"Morning." I greet back with the same bland politeness.

She looks down at the baby, but doesn't say anymore. We haven't fully reconciled, all three of us, but we've been able to keep it civil. As far as I know, she and Hal haven't gotten back together either.

Dwight opens up the car door to help me get Birdie into the car seat. She's never been in one before, so we'll see how she likes it.

"Nan!" I look over towards the factory, finding Marisol running over. "Wait!"

"Go ahead, I've got it." Dwight says, fastening the straps around Birdie.

I step away from the truck a little, waiting for her.

"Here," She hands me the small box in her hand, "Its some muffins for the trip."

"Oh, thank you."

She nods, before hugging me abruptly. "See ya around, yeah?"

"Yeah," I smile at her, "We'll have to get the kids together."

Marisol chuckles a little. "Yeah..." She tucks her hair behind her ear, "Hey, listen, I just wanna say thank you. You know, for being there for me."

"Of course."

She bites her lip, trying to think of anything else. "Well, I better get back. The twins are inside."

"Okay, bye."

Marisol goes back inside the Sanctuary to care for her three week old twins. Harlan promised to stay at the Sanctuary until she gave birth and he did. Once Alma and Benjamín were born, he moved back to the Hilltop, but he made a deal with Laura to come by at the end of every month to do regular exams. That's about when I'll be bringing Birdie in for her scheduled check ups.

"Ready?" Dwight asks.

"Yes." I sigh.

Hal gives me a hug again. "Good luck, gorgeous."

"Get better, handsome."

Hal nods, before offering his hand to Dwight. "Take care of 'em."

"Alright," Dwight shakes hands with Hal, "See ya."

I smile as I walk around to the passenger's side. I love it when my boys get along. Once in, I look back. Birdie's car seat is facing backwards, so I'm not sure if she's asleep or not, but she's quiet.

Dwight gets into the car, slamming the door shut. "Oh, shit," He checks the mirror, "Sorry."

"It's okay."

He nods, looking me over. "You sure you're ready?"

"Yeah," I buckle my seatbelt, "Let's go."

Dwight fires up the truck and the guards open up the gates. I wave at Solara through the window as we drive out of the Sanctuary. I can't help but look in the right side mirror at the fading factory. I smile as I feel Dwight's hand touch mine.

"You still wanna stop?" He asks.

I take a breath, peering out at the shrinking saint statue. "Yeah."

...

The gate rolls back, revealing little by little the under construction community. The sound of drilling and hammering could be heard as we pulled up to Alexandria. Dwight got out of the truck, too, but that was only so he could smoke as soon as Birdie and I go in.

"You gonna be okay going there by yourself?" Dwight asks me, opening the car door to the back.

"Yeah." I answer with a hint of nervousness. I look over as the gate reaches the end of the track. Rick stands there with a curt, serious expression his face. Now I feel less sure than I did a second ago. I wish Dwight could go with me, but Daryl's in there, so it's a no.

"Here." Dwight hands me Birdie, who's starting to wake up.

"Thank you."

Rick's eyes move from Dwight to me with the passing of the baby. He looks me over, before turning to the side. "It's this way."

I hesitate for a moment when he starts to walk further into Alexandria.

"You don't have to do this now," Dwight tells me, "You could come back when you're ready."

"No, I'm ready," I exhale, looking at Birdie, "I have to do this now."

"Okay," He soothes my arm, "I'll be out here."

I nod my head, moving forward when Rick stops after realizing I wasn't following along.

For the first couple seconds, I keep my eyes on Rick's back as I tread behind him. I want to tell him how much I appreciate this, but I don't think he'd appreciate that. Dwight talked to him about it on my behalf and, to my surprise, he had agreed. I know it wasn't easy for Dwight to do that, but he knew that I wanted some form of closure.

My eyes travels here and there as we walk, observing the houses being built and people busy with other repairs or work. Some of them look up from their jobs as Rick and I pass, but only a few keep eyes on me for a good long second. I briefly stare back, but for the most part, I just look away, not allowing myself to feel shameful or any other bad feelings.

Dwight didn't go into detail about our situation, but he didn't really have to. According to his account, Rick and most everyone else on the other side had become aware of Negan's little harem and were obviously repulsed by his abuse of power in that regard, in addition to everything else. So, when Dwight had to explain to him that I was married to Negan, however briefly, no more had to be said; Rick understood me to be a woman who got involved with Negan out of utility and survival, due to the harsh environment in which I lived at the Sanctuary.

That's what he's chosen to understand, anyway, just like I assume he's chosen to perceive me as the poor woman who had the misfortune of becoming pregnant with the tyrant's child. I suppose it's easier just to write me off like that; that way there's no resentment or animosity towards mother and child. Still, while Rick accepts it for what it is, I can tell he doesn't like it, and Dwight, knowing that others who are less levelheaded won't like it either, asked that it be kept as much a secret as possible. As far we both know, Rick, his girlfriend Michonne, and their doctor are the only people that definitively know the paternity of my baby besides everyone at the Sanctuary and everyone at the Sanctuary is over that gossip, or otherwise would rather not talk about it now that Negan's gone. I'm sure people are smart enough to speculate that Birdie isn't Dwight's, but I don't think anyone will outwardly acknowledge it.

We come up on a building that's small and roughly bricked. It's clear that a house was once here, before it was destroyed in the attack on Alexandria. It also looks like they might rebuild that house right next this little brick shed. There's a little window in the back and below it, a little sprig grows on the ground.

Rick pulls a thing of keys out of his pocket and goes through them, before he finds the one and sticks it in the large iron door. He looks me over as I come closer when it opens. He then sighs through his nose with frustration as he stares into the dark building. "Through there, watch your step."

I glance in, immediately focusing on the foreboding stairs. I nod, shushing Birdie who whines in my arms, before I step forward. When I reach the stairs, I touch the wall, since there's no railing, and carefully go down one step at a time. As I get further down, I see a bleak gray light at the bottom, as well as a row of bars.

I don't see him right away as my foot touches the dirty floor; it's hard to see beyond the iron bars of the prison cell, because it's so dark.

"Is it that time of day already?"

My breath balls up in my chest. I make out his tall figure lying horizontally on a mattress on the floor.

"I could've swore I just ate that gruel you call breakfast."

Birdie makes a little cry of frustration, so I soothe her promptly.

"Nan?"

I look up from my daughter and find him sitting up. A small veil of light from the window above him reveals the upper half of his face. His eyes stare straight at me.

I open my mouth, but I don't know what to say.

"That you?" He hoarsely asks.

"Y-" I look back when I hear footsteps, "Yes, it's me."

He stares with no response.

I glance down at Birdie, whose lip is pouting out. It's cold and she's picking up on my uneasiness.

"What are you doing here?"

I lift my head up. "I...I-"

"They didn't grab you from the Sanctuary and bring you here, did they?"

"N-no," I shake my head, "I came here with Dwight. I-"

"Oh, so you and that two-faced asshole are an item again?" He interrupts, bitterly scoffing. "Guess that means nobody killed him."

I stare, not amused. "No, he's still alive."

Negan huffs, before nodding.

"...How are you?" I ask him. "Your throat, I mean. Is it healed?"

His eyes scan mine. "I'm fine."

I nod my head. "I'm glad to hear it."

"Are you?"

"Yes."

He scoffs again, as if he doesn't believe me. "I bet."

"I am," I tell him, "I'm glad you're okay and-"

"Not dead?" Negan chuckles a little under his breath. "I'm surprised you're not disappointed."

"Why would I be disappointed?"

"Because they didn't give you the honors," His grin can be seen in his eyes, "Last I checked, you were at my throat about damn near everything under the sun."

"You think I wanted you dead?"

"You and a shit ton of other folks."

"I never said I wanted that," I mildly argue, "I tried to get you to change, to compromise. I never wished death on you."

"Hm," His eyes travel down, "You got the baby?"

I briefly look at her. "Yes, I...they agreed to let me bring her."

"So, it's true?" Negan says. "Everyone's all chummy now; singing campfire songs and building the future?"

"Yeah," I nod, "All the communities agreed for peace and to work together."

He huffs through his nose, before looking back down. "I'm surprised they let you bring her down here. How is she?"

"She's good," I answer, smiling at her, "Great. She just had a check up. She's two months old now."

"Two months and nine days." Negan blandly corrects.

"Yeah..." I notice the tally marks etched into his wall.

"Bring her here."

My smile lowers and I look at him, then back at the stairs. I see boots about halfway down. "I don't know, if I-"

"Come on." Negan implores with a rasp in his voice. "Just close enough, so I can get a good look at her."

I walk slowly up to the cell, a little uneasy. As soon as I move, Negan stands and approaches. Moving from out of the shadows, he reveals a scruffier beard, plain clothes, and bare feet.

But all that is easily ignorable when I spy the clean cut line across his stubbly neck. The scar looks like it's healing, but it's still horrible to look at.

I look away from the scar and meet eyes with him. "I couldn't believe what Dwight said about your throat getting cut."

"Well, believe it," Negan retorts, "Because it's certainly fuckin' true."

"Were you...afraid?"

"What?"

"Were you afraid?" I repeat. "When it happened? Were you afraid that you were dying?"

Negan stares at me for a second, before his eyes snap below. "I didn't want to die, if that's what you mean."

I nod. "Does it hurt to eat or...to drink?"

"What's with the twenty fucking questions?"

"I'm just asking about you," I say honestly. "I was wor-" The word draws back in my mouth.

Negan's eyes flick back from the wall. "What was that?"

"I...I wanted to make sure your wounds were healing."

"Because...you were worried about me?"

"I was concerned about your health."

"Because you were worried?" Negan presses. "About me?"

"Yes, Negan, yes," I snap slightly, "I was worried about you, okay?"

A smile creeps up his face. "Aw, I'm flattered, darlin'."

I scoff under my breath. "I'm being serious."

"I get tha-"

"But I guess you'll make light of me, like always," I pat Birdie's bottom when she complains, "How many other people have come down here to ask if you were okay?"

That wipes the smirk off his face.

I shake my head, sighing. "Look, I just came here to see how you were and so that you could see Birdie."

Negan redirects his gaze down at our daughter in my arms. "She awake?"

"Yes," I smile at her sweet, inquiring eyes; "Dwight accidentally woke her up when he was getting out of the car." I take a few steps closer, stopping a few inches from the bars. "But she likes to look around."

Negan also comes forward, not fully out of the shadows, wrapping his hands around the bars. "Jesus..."

His voice immediately gets Birdie's attention. She hadn't seen him standing there and I'm sure her vision isn't fully clear in this lighting, but she holds her little gaze.

"Hey, darlin'," Negan calls her, "Did you get cuter from the last time I saw you?" His mouth closes and he swallows. "Look at those pretty eyes of yours."

Birdie blinks, still trying to figure him out. His voice is a little hoarser than before.

Negan reaches a hand through the bars, petting her hatted head. "You are so damn beautiful."

At that, or perhaps the recognition of his voice, a little smile tips up.

"Are you happy to see me?" He chuckles, "Do you still know who your old man is?" His smile dwindles and he looks up at me. "Does she?"

I meet his gaze, but lower my eyes down to Birdie. "She knows your voice."

"I meant-"

"Time's up," Rick's gruff voice steps further down into the cell, "Time to go."

I look back, nodding, before I turn back to Negan. "We have to go."

"When are you coming back?"

I hesitate to answer, because I know he won't take it well. "Uh, Negan-"

"You are coming back, right?" He inquires.

"Yes, but..." I look him in the eyes, hoping to convey what I want him to understand without having to say it.

Negan starts to form a scowl, as he does begin to understand. "But not with Birdie."

"I might be able to see you from time to time, but Birdie was a one time deal," I tell him, "They wanted you to see what you were missing out on."

He scoffs, bitter. "And so you thought it'd be wild to bring her by and wave her around in my face?"

"No, I wanted you to see her before we leave."

Negan lowers his incredulous smirk, turning his head back our way. "Leave?" His brows begin to gather. "Where you going?"

I peer back at him. "Daryl told Dwight he had to leave the area, so we're leaving the Sanctuary."

"When?"

"Now."

Negan's stare intensifies. "Where to?"

"Some place two hours away."

"Where?"

"I don't know," I answer him, half-truthful, "Dwight found some place we can live."

He tilts his head back a bit, laughing in disbelief below his breath. "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

"I know it's-"

"So, you and Dwight are just gonna ride off into the sunset with my daughter to go play house god knows where, while I'm sitting here collecting dust on my nut sack in this fucking place?"

"We don't have a choice."

Negan huffs. "No, Dwight doesn't have a choice."

"I'm going with him, Negan."

"Out there?" He chuckles derisively. "You're gonna take my daughter out there, away from safety?"

"Dwight and I can keep her safe," I firmly tell him, "And she's my daughter, too, and I decide what's best for her."

"Well, congratulations, you're doing a shitty job of it."

I inhale deeply. "Goodbye, Negan."

"I'm not done with you."

"Well, I'm done with you."

Negan scoffs, humored. "You'll never be done with me. Not while you got my pride and joy suckling your titty."

I stop just before the stairs. Rick's standing there in the middle. I look up at him, before I step up. "Can you?"

Rick takes Birdie, though a little reluctantly.

I turn around and go back down the steps. I stare at Negan from where I stand, furious, but composed. "I didn't have to come here, you know. And I didn't have to bring Birdie, but I wanted to, because I wanted you to see her."

"Why? So you'll sleep better at night after you take off with her?"

I huff. "You know, I am the only person who cared if you lived or died."

He snickers disrespectfully, walking back to his mattress.

"The Saviors came back to the Sanctuary without knowing whether or not they saved you," I continue, "Because they didn't care. Because Rick gave them a new vision of the future that was brighter than what you could ever promise."

"Is that right?" Negan groans as he eases down.

"Yes," I turn for a moment when I hear Birdie start to fuss, "Why couldn't you just listen? Why couldn't you just compromise?" I look at him, even though he's not looking back. "It didn't have to be this way."

Negan chuckles. "I don't know why you're crying, it turned out swell for you."

"You could've saved yourself," I say, "If you would've just stopped all of it and agreed to come to peace, then you may not have wound up here. You could still be running the Sanctuary and..." I sigh heavily, closing my eyes, "You could have watched Birdie grow up."

He scoffs, still staring at the wall across from him. "Is that to say that you would've stayed?"

"No," I answer with a slight shake of my head, "I would've gone with Dwight; I love him."

That gets yet another scoff from him.

"But maybe...we could've worked something out."

Negan continues to stare at the wall, but I can see his eyes move, as if he's thinking. "Are you gonna tell her about me?" When I don't answer right away, he turns his head.

"...Maybe one day, when she's older."

"Maybe?" Negan shifts his head back, chuckling incredulously. "Fucking bitch."

I reach into my jacket pocket and walk over to the cell. "Here," I stick my hand through the bars, laying a polaroid on the ground, "I thought you might like to have this."

He glances over. "Something to sit and stare at, knowing that my kid is calling someone else dad?"

"Something to give you hope."

Negan guffaws bitterly. "I'm gonna fucking rot in here, Anna; hope is kind of fucking useless."

I twist my mouth to the side as I rise up. "Well, then maybe you can look at it when the days are getting long and know that she's safe and happy."

"Yeah, safe and happy without me."

"Whose fault is that?" I snap a little.

Birdie starts to cry above us on the stairs.

I inhale and exhale. "Goodbye, Negan."

He doesn't say anything.

"Take care of yourself." I turn.

"Wait."

I pause, listening.

"What happen to Lucille?"

I stare at the light in the path up the stairs. "She's been put away."

"You have her?"

I breathe in, before I climb the steps.

When I reach the top, Birdie's no longer crying. Instead, she's cooing up at Rick. I smile, wiping a lone tear from my eye. Upon seeing me, Rick clears his throat, dropping the small smile, and handing me back my baby.

"Thank you."

He nods in response.

My eyes move beyond him when I spot a familiar face a few yards away. He stares back behind his long, unkept hair. I turn to follow Rick back to the entrance.

When we return, Dwight's there, grinding his second cigarette under his boot. "Hey."

"Hey," I offer a meek smile, before looking back at Rick, who doesn't step a foot out of the community, "Thank you. I appreciate it."

Rick gives a curt nod again. "Take care."

"We will." I reply.

He steps back and starts to close the gates of Alexandria.

Dwight and I pack the baby up and go on our way.

"How was it?" Dwight asks once we're about a mile down the road.

I look out at the trees being left behind. "About as well as it could have gone."

…

Dwight stops the truck in front of the little house. It took about us a little longer than two hours to get here, but that was only because we had to stop for twenty minutes so I could feed Birdie. The whole way here, I kept thinking how much farther it seemed to be than I had previously thought, but remembering that it wasn't and that was only because I was confined in a factory for the past year or so.

I stare out the window at the soft yellow house with white trim. The exterior looks a little forgotten, but that's because it was for a while.

"I'm gonna go in real quick to make sure it's clear," Dwight opens his door, "I'll be right back."

"Okay," I mouth, watching him walk up to the house, open the door, and go inside.

I feel more nervous now than I did on our way to Alexandria. I was quiet for the most part during the ride over here. Dwight could tell, so he asked if I want to turn some music on. I said I did and so we put in a CD and turned the volume down enough to not disturb the baby, and so we could talk a little here and there.

I think it's just a little scary to start this new chapter of my life, mostly because it all feels so impossible. I never expected things to turn out the way they did, so I never expected to be here; living in a house someplace quiet with Birdie and Dwight, as a family. And happy. I never thought I'd be happy again...I never thought I deserved to be happy again.

Dwight reappears after about five minutes. He opens my door when he makes it to the car. "Alright, it's all clear."

"We can go in?"

"Yeah," He peers over his shoulder, and then looks back at me, "Do you wanna see it, before we unpack?"

I nod my head, glancing at the house again. "Yes."

"Okay."

I get out of the car and grab Birdie, before we all go together. Dwight lets me go in first and immediately my eyes start to explore. He gives me a tour of the house, knowing it like the back of his hand, while I silently follow him around, taking it all in. I nod when he tells me this and that about the bathroom, or kitchen, barely paying attention.

The house is a little bare. Dwight salvaged what he could of what was already here. The walls have little decorations here and there, but are a plain white. The floors are hardwood, which Dwight said he put in himself years ago.

The kitchen has a door to the backyard, or what would be the backyard, if there were fences. The table sits by the large window that oversees the back.

Just before we reach the hallway, I notice a crate filled with picture frames. I see him and Sherry smiling together in the one on top. He awkwardly told me that he was going to put them away someplace before we came, but forgot. I don't know why he explained that to me, I wasn't bothered by it.

He shows me where Birdie's room will be and then takes me to the room at the back of the house, down the hall. It's the master bedroom, where we'll sleep. It's humble and has its own bathroom. The king sized bedding hangs from a line outside.

"If you want, we can fit her crib against that wall, until you feel comfortable moving her into her own room." He tells me.

I nod my head, eyes wandering. "Okay."

Dwight looks me over. "The garden's right outside the window," He motions towards it, "Or, it will be anyway, once we fix it up."

I nod again with Birdie in my arms.

"Do you like it?"

"Yeah..."

He scratches the back of his head. "You wanna rest for a bit, or get stuff moved in now?"

"We can start moving," I look at Birdie, "Let's get the bassinet out, so she'll sleep."

"You mean the laundry basket?" Dwight chuckles, walking towards the open doorway. "Alright."

...

The crickets chirp outside in the dark. I can't remember the last time I hear crickets that weren't drown out by the sound of growling rotters. The moon and the stars light up the otherwise pitch-black night. I don't remember seeing either so vividly as well. I can feel the cold blaring off the window, but it feels good.

Dwight comes back into the bedroom. "I'm back."

"Okay."

"All the doors and windows are locked and the curtains are drawn," He reports, starting to undress, "I walked the perimeter, but I only ran into two walkers. I'll start working on a way to keep 'em off our trail tomorrow."

I nod my head, before closing the curtain of this window.

"Did she finally eat?" Dwight asks, peeking into the crib.

"Yeah."

He looks over at me. "You alright?"

"Yeah," I go away from the window, peeling back the blankets on my side of the bed, "Why?"

"I don't know," He shrugs, "You've been quiet all afternoon."

"I'm just tired," I tell him, "It's been a long day."

"Yeah..." He nods, trailing his eyes down to the bed.

I glance up, pausing from getting into bed. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, I just...want to make sure you're okay being here," He says, "I know it's not much and it's far from everything else, but-"

"I like it."

Dwight's eyes move up to mine. "Yeah?"

"Yes," I smile earnestly, "It's beautiful."

He smiles back, exhaling in relief. He chuckles. "I thought...I thought you didn't like it, you weren't saying anything."

"I was just looking around,trying to figure if this was real," I snicker, climbing under the covers, because of the chill, "I think it's perfect."

"Really?" Dwight gets in bed.

"Mhm," I smile as I lay my head on the pillow, "It's quiet and cozy and it'll be safe." I inhale and smile into my exhale. "It just feels like a fresh start; I couldn't ask for a better place to raise Birdie."

He smiles, before looking up at the ceiling fan.

I wiggle over and he puts his arm around me. "Thank you for bringing us here."

"I love you."

I close my eyes, sighing peacefully. "I love you, too."

Neither of us goes to sleep right away. We both just lay there, listening to the crickets and wondering how on earth we ever made out like this. How we could ever wind up here, together. Negan once told me that this is a new world and that meant there was a new chance to do better. Well, today was that chance. And tomorrow will be even better, kinder. I believe that; I believe in tomorrow.

End.

Thank you all SO much for all the tremendous, wonderful support you've given me and my fanfic. It's so bittersweet/semi-emotional to end Save Yourself, but all things must come to an end.

Look out for the SY's sequel, "Believe in Tomorrow"! It should be published in about two or three weeks.

P.S. I have just recently transferred to a 4-year university and am in the process of moving into my apartment. It's a big life change for me and may be a little more demanding of my time. Being said, I will try to update FYIWAF weekly, or bi weekly(no promises) until it comes to an end and then Believe in Tomorrow will stay a bi weekly update to the best of my abilities.

Again, Thank you.