DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE X-MEN OR X-MEN EVOLUTION.

Storyline:

After the teens realize the cable's out, they decide to help those who they feel caused the problem. Part of the Define Normal series.

Intervention

Chapter One

Hairspray

The residents of Xavier's had had all they could take. Over the last few months, their lives had been turned upside down not once or twice but a grand total of seventeen times. For hairspray. To be more accurate, Logan's obsession with hairspray.

Sure, the kids had all heard the horror stories of life without hair products from Logan himself. Sure they had heard how terrifying Logan was without his hair properly controlled from Remy and Rogue (who were the most stoic, easy going members of the team...for this month, they voted and those two won...there may have been some bribes and threats involved but they still won darn it.) Sure the Professor claimed that hairspray wasn't the reason for this latest budget cut. The kids weren't buying it though.

Clearly, Logan needed help with his addiction. They all knew it, it said so on the reality show they had been watching before Bobby screamed. " Oh my God guys, that's the answer! Logan needs an intervention!"

Before anyone could respond, the cable went out. The Professor warned them this morning that it would, that he had to make some more budgets cuts that had included letting go of the cable completely, but none of the kids had really believed him. After all, everyone had cable. How could anyone NOT have cable? What were you supposed to do without tv?

Scott, who was once again on the 'active reserve' roster (for the last two days) had been about to tell Bobby that it was a bad idea. Then the cable went out,as previously mentioned. Scott had been grounded from all electronic devises following his 'prank' of kidnapping Wanda and had just been given back his tv privileges that day. Suddenly Bobby seemed right, because it had been four LONG months since the last time he'd watched tv. All three of his favorite shows had ended their seasons while he'd been grounded. Two very very important movies had debuted while he was grounded. An infomercial about making your own homemade swiss rolls had played while he was grounded! It was to replay today, after this stupid show which was the entire reason he'd been in here.

Scott had been working, for the last four months, on his obsession. He'd forgiven Remy and Rogue's betrayals. He'd pretended to forgive Wanda's. He'd said he was 'over' this whole snack cake phase. All so he could get his tv privileges reinstated and learn how to make his own snack cakes so that he would never again be without his one true love. And Logan's obsession with his hair had just ruined his only chance to see it! (This week, it was replaying again next week, not that Scott remembered at the moment).

"Bobby's right!" Scott said as the others stared at the screen, horror struck. " Logan's obsession needs to be stopped before it completely takes over his life! I know how it damages you to let that happen, it nearly happened to me once, as shocking as many of you may find it. "

"No! You? Obsessed with something completely stupid to the point no one even wants to be in the same room as you, but are to afraid of you to sneak away? Who would have guessed?" Kitty said with as much sarcasm as she could muster.

"I know it's shocking Kitty, but it's entirely true." Scott said, somehow completely missing Kitty's tone of voice. " Which is why we mush help Logan now, before it's too late."

Kitty rolled her eyes,humphed, and went back to attempting to write an email, a feat which was proving very difficult in the crowded room. Meanwhile, with nothing on tv, the rest of the kids decided Bobby and Scott were right. Logan clearly need help. So Scott and Bobby finally sat back down to work out a plan to save Logan so they could once again watch tv.

~0~O~0~

Logan was happily stirring a huge, thirty person, pot of chili. He was busy thinking about the flower garden, or more accurately the 'who can expand the west garden faster' competition Victor had suggested this morning when all of a sudden, the kids surrounded him. Logan raised an eyebrow, he casually asked what they needed. Then he was jumped on by Scott, Bobby, Sam, Roberto, John, Piotr, Lance, Todd, Pietro, and for some reason Tabitha. (She had been told to stay back, but jumped in anyway.) Before Logan could react, a pillowcase was shoved over his head, and the girls wrapped a rope around him. Jean, Jubilee, Kitty, Amara, and Wanda then stood back while the guys (and Tabitha) struggled back to their feet and they drug Logan from the room. No one seemed to think to turn off the burner under the chili, but hopefully it would be alright.

Logan's primary concern, when they removed the pillowcase a few minutes later, was the chili.; followed by his hair. He then noticed that they had pushed the table against the wall and placed all of the chairs in a huge circle, leading him to wonder how he had managed to miss the noises that had to have been coming from the next room. Then he remembered the lovely new music player Kitty and Rogue had given him this week for his 'birthday' which he had been listening to before the kids came in.

It hadn't actually been Logan's birthday (maybe), but at the time Remy had gotten it into his head to assign everyone who didn't know (or wouldn't tell)their birthdays a new one and convinced Kitty,Rogue, and Bobby that it was a great idea. It had been raining that day and the kids had been bored. Logan felt as far as 'bored schemes' went it had been fairly harmless until now when he began to question if it had actually been part of...whatever this was.

Probably not, he decided when he realized that the only ones missing from the group were Remy and Rogue, and that all of the chairs were full. "Where are Stripes and Gumbo? You tie them up too?" He asked while trying to undo the knots without breaking Xavier's very expensive chair.

"Remy and Rogue are far to Stoic and Easy Going to be useful in an intervention Logan." said Scott. "Plus they are playing Alien Smash 5000. No one is dumb enough to interrupt Alien Smash 5000."

Logan snorted back a laugh at the idea of either of the southerners being in any way 'easy going'. "So what's this about? I need to get back to cooking before the chili burns."

"This is far more important than chili Logan." Scott said,as the other (except Kurt) nodded. "This is an Intervention."

"Maybe I should just go check on the chili." Kurt said softly,as he stood to do just that.

"No!" Bobby yelled. "No one in the Circle of Healing can leave or it will ruin everything and Logan will never admit he has a problem, and then we'll never get the cable back...and Logan will never get better,I mean. This is totally about Logan."

"But if the chili burns what will we eat for dinner?" Kurt asked. "I haven't eaten in nearly three hours! I don't think I can wait until they make something else."

"Of course you can Kurt. Here have a cereal bar,it'll tide you over." Said Scott,before he returned his attention to Logan. "We need to do this, for the sake of the team. The world! Mutant/Human relations! And all possible fashion sense."

Logan once again raised an eyebrow, but the other kids all nodded as Scott returned to his seat. After a moment of silence (so the impact of his words could sink in properly) Scott asked who wanted to go first.

Kitty raised her hand and pulled a notebook page out of her pocket. "Logan today I finally finished the email I've been trying to write to my parents for the last week, and like when I went to hit send...when I went to hit send there was no signal. Do you know why there was no signal? Because Xavier turned off the cable so that you could have your precious HAIRSPRAY! Not only is it like totally so two decades ago for you to wear your hair like that, but now you're like interfering in other people's lives! Enough is enough Logan! Like think of the rest of us for a change."

"For a change? All I ever do is think about the lot of you! I'm supposed to be this big bad loner feral and instead I'm playing dorm mother to a group of over dramatic hyper kids! There's nothing wrong with my hair! AND SOMEONE NEEDS TO GO STIR THAT CHILI!"Logan said.

"It's okay guys. We all knew that he would be in denial to begin with. Kitty you go ahead and go stir the chili so Logan can focus, Amara why don't you go next?" Scott said.

Kitty left ignoring the collective groan over the idea of KITTY cooking, as Amara stood, pulled out what appeared to be a gum wrapper and read. "Logan. You're really very selfish with the hairspray, some of us would love to get some hairspray as well. Thank you."

Amara sat down again, and everyone stared at her for a few minutes before finally Jean said. "Do you even use hairspray Amara?"

"No. Why?"

"Never-mind. Jean?" Scott said, trying not to sound as confused as everyone else looked.

"Amara just pretty much stole my speech. So... What Amara said... and I actually used to use before it was cut off for everyone but you, Victor, and John."

"Have you ever seen my hair without hairspray? If you had you would be thanking me for still using it. Besides, I don't use the school's supply. I buy my own, with my own money!" John said.

"Since when do you have money John?" Bobby asked.

"I've always had money. I just don't wave it around."John said.

"We're getting off track here. Who wants to go next?" Scott said. No one volunteered, in fact it looked like most of the group was starting to forget why they were here. Scott was very concerned that this plan would fail due to the group's short attention span, and then they would never get the cable back and he would never learn to make home made snack cakes! Scott was just not willing to let that happen.

"LOGAN! You have to see reason man! You can't just selfishly use up group resources like this! When the Professor asked that we give up a few extras for the good of the team, did you see me complaining? No! I just silently gave up hairspray and I even gave up showering for a month to help out. " Scott said. " When that wasn't enough, I gave up Jean Jr. and tv for four months, and I even gave up revenge of those who offended me for the sake of the team. All we are asking you to do is give up the hairspray so we can get the cable back! Is that too much to ask?"

No one seemed to want to correct Scott about his rant, despite the fact that he had not willingly given up half those things and the other half he gave up because he was too preoccupied with revenge to care about them. It looked like they would be at a stalemate for a long while, but then they all heard from the kitchen." But Remy I like totally know what I'm doing, I was just going to add a little more spice."

"Non, Chaton. Yo were about to add a cup of cinnamon."

Logan stiffened as the others froze, while they continued to listen to the exchange in the other room, which Remy seemed to be losing since Kitty could simply phase through him to add to the pot before Logan finally broke and agreed to think about cutting back on his hairspray use, at least slightly.

The group was greatly relieved as Scott untied Logan and he ran back into the kitchen in hopes of saving the meal from Kitty...and Remy who liked to add spices as well when no one was watching.