Ending may be a bit rushed and meh, sorry in advance.
When Kazui Kurosaki was born, neither Ichigo nor Orihime could have been happier. Like all children, he was birthed with a scream echoing from his lips, but he was by far the most calmest and sweetest child his parents had ever seen. Of course, they were subject to bias, as no one would ever speak ill of their own child, but even the many shinigami who visited the much-anticipated son of the substitute shinigami and the healer during the first few weeks after his birth had said similar things.
The Soul Society members who'd come to greet the child were far from few between, and Ichigo had taken to cleaning the house twice a day every day in case another onslaught of visitors had come bearing gifts, kind words, and dubious-but-still-nice-in-a-way comments.
Of course, Rukia, who had been present for Kazui's birth, had come first for another visit, along with Renji and a young toddler Ichika.
"Thank God he's got his mother's face," Renji commented as he watched the small child in the bassinet that the Kurosaki family had placed in the room that they had dubbed "The Angel Child's Room". He snickered. "Though he's definitely got his dad's weird-ass colored hair."
He instantaneously received a kick in the thigh from his wife and an angry glower from Ichigo. "Says the red-haired pineapple," Ichigo taunted.
"Hey! I wear it in a braid now!"
The two women ignored their husbands as they began bickering. Rukia turned to Orihime, who was cradling a squirming Ichika, and she gazed at Kazui's serene face. "He's beautiful."
Orihime's face lit up the whole room with a motherly sweetness. She handed Ichika back to her mother. "Thanks so much—although he can be kind of a handful sometimes!"
Rukia grinned at Orihime before raising an eyebrow at her daughter. "Not as much as this little troublemaker, I think. Yesterday, we found her whacking Byakuya's flower garden because she was 'training' to be a full-fledged shinigami!"
"Oh no!" Orihime cried, her eyes crinkled worriedly. "What did your brother say?"
"He was actually impressed with her and told her that she would 'become a fierce shinigami one day'," Rukia admitted with a laugh. "He indulges her far too much. I think he likes being an uncle." She gasped in surprise as if remembering something, and then reached into one of the pockets of her dress. She handed the object to Ichika and gave her a stern look before clearing her throat, silencing the two arguing men, who turned to her inquisitively.
She held out her daughter towards Orihime as Ichigo shuffled closer to his wife. "Ichika has a gift for Kazui."
Ichigo's brow creased. "You didn't have to bring him anything."
Rukia glared at him furiously and grumbled, "Of course we did! We're celebrating the birth of your child! It's a special occasion!"
"Yeah," Renji mumbled grumpily under his breath. "Took us forever to find something the kid would like."
With wobbly fingers and a strong grip, Ichika handed the object to Orihime, just like her mother had instructed her to. "Kazui," she pronounced proudly.
Orihime accepted the gift with a grin. "Thank you very much, Ichika!" She turned to the girl's parents. "You too, Renji, Rukia." She unwrapped the package. "A Substitute Shingami Badge!" she exclaimed.
Ichigo peered over her shoulder. "Whoa," he huffed. "You're gonna give that to a kid who can't even talk yet?"
"It's not real," Rukia clarified. "It's just a piece of memorabilia to let Kazui know he'll always have a place in the Soul Society, if he wants it. You two have done so much for us, it's not right not to at least let you know how much we thank you."
"Yeah, I guess we have," Ichigo agreed, draping an arm over his wife's shoulder and drawing her close. "But give us five lifetimes and we'd do it all over again."
"And here's another onesie—that's what you call them in the World of the Living, right? You can never have too many of those!" Rangiku chirped, adding another article of clothing to the enormous pile that Orihime held. "And here's one of those pacifier-things! Although . . . Kazui is so sweet, I bet he doesn't even cry. You probably don't need them, but there's no such thing as too much baby supplies!"
Orihime groaned as the weight of all the clothes became too much for her and she crumpled to the floor.
Ichigo, hearing the racket, hurtled out of the kitchen (where he was trying to work the rice cooker since he refused to let Orihime cook while she was recovering—he was not making much progress), only to see his wife buried under mounds of baby clothes and supplies. "Rangiku!" he yelled. "What the hell are you doing here!"
"I'm bringing gifts, of course!" Rangiku huffed as she and Ichigo desperately tried to unearth Orihime from the pile. "Kazui's too cute not to spoil!"
Captain Hitsugaya shuffled awkwardly on the Kurosaki household's oddly mismatched couch as he surveyed their interesting interior design choices—no doubt borne of Orihime's eccentric tastes. "I'm not here to stay for long," he announced. "But Rangiku said I had to bring something for your son." He handed Ichigo a black book, which was filled with even more dark pages. "The designs are made from enchanted ice, so don't worry about it melting," he explained.
"What's this—" Ichigo began, as he flipped through the sheets. Each blank page was decorated with exquisite renderings of swirls made of frost. On the front was etched 'Kazui Kurosaki' in exquisite calligraphy, also written in ice. "Oh, wow, Tōshirō. This is actually pretty cool." He had no idea what his newborn son would do with it, though.
The 10th Division Captain rolled his eyes at the flippant use of his first name. Would he ever get any respect?
"I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say my present's the best," Kon declared as he sauntered into Kazui's room, interrupting a conversation between Orihime and Ichigo. He held his 'gift' behind his back.
The substitute shinigami rolled his eyes. "What do you want, Kon?"
Kon paid him no mind and rushed toward Orihime. "My sweet, sweet, Orihime!" he cried, leaping to her bosom before Ichigo swatted him away in annoyance, which led him to drop something.
"Ow, Ichigo, that really—"
"You idiot!" Ichigo yelled, shaking the magazine that Kon had brought. His face turned a shade of red that most people would associate with Renji's hair, and he pointed at the magazine accusingly. "You were planning to give Kazui an issue of Women's Lingerie Weekly?!"
"Wait," Ichigo began, annoyance evident on his face as Orihime watched nervously at her husband's reaction. "You bought my son a tantō. Not a fake one. A real short sword."
"Yeah," Ikkaku grinned proudly, a ray of sunlight glinting off his very bald head. "He's small so it's the perfect size for him."
A charged silence ensued.
Orihime gulped and examined the blade gently. "It—it's a nice sword," she commented weakly.
"Yeah, it is," Ichigo replied appreciatively. His gaze turned stormy again. "But that's not the point. The point is that you bought my four-week old son a sword!"
"I told you he wouldn't like something so brutish as a tantō, Ikkaku," remarked Yumichika diplomatically, shaking his head at his friend. He then flourished his own gift. "That's why I bought Kazui these wonderful eyelash extensions. They're even in a very striking shade of blue—perfect to compliment that unfortunately crass shade of orange hair that he received from his father."
Orihime had to hold on to her husband so he wouldn't attack the two shinigami.
"You like scrapbooks, right Orihime?" Chad asked lowly.
She nodded; she liked to document all her favorite memories as pictures in a book—she had countless ones that featured Sora, and a multitude more that carried pictures of she and Ichigo in their years of dating. It always made her smile to look at them.
Chad handed her a heavy bound book, thick with fine paper that was just waiting for her to embellish with her own photos and stickers.
Ichigo nodded approvingly as Orihime grinned. "Thanks, Chad! Now I can make a scrapbook for Kazui so I can show it to him when he's all grown up!"
"Don't you just love it?" Isshin proclaimed loudly, staring at his gift, which sat on the floor of the Kurosaki house, untouched.
Ichigo had to fight to control his temper. He spoke through gritted teeth, "And just what the hell is Kazui supposed to do with it, old man?"
Isshin patted the brand-new treadmill lovingly. "This isn't for him, it's for you." He poked Ichigo's taut stomach. "Don't want you getting soft, now, eh?" He then opened his arms wide, as if ready for a hug. "As for Kazui, he gets all my grandfatherly love!"
Ichigo rubbed his foot and muttered, "Ow," after he delivered a well-placed kick at his father, who now lay in a whimpering heap on the floor.
"It's a soccer ball," Karin explained, handing the object to her brother. "The kid's gotta learn how to play sometime or another."
Ichigo huffed. "I can see that." He added it to the never-ending pile of 'Things Kazui Has Received That He Is Too Young To Use'. "Thanks, Karin."
"No problem," she shrugged. "As long as he doesn't turn out to be a wimp like you, I think I'll like him."
Yuzu placed the last stack of diapers and baby formula next to Kazui's changing station and turned to Orihime worriedly. "Do you think that's enough?"
Orihime nodded enthusiastically. "I think so. Thanks so much for bringing them!" Kazui had been running low on diapers and other necessities but was outfitted for an entire decade thanks to Rangiku.
Yuzu grinned. "No problem! I'm always happy to help my favorite nephew—even if he's my only one so far!"
Uryū pushed up his glasses seriously as he handed the stack of books to Ichigo. "The first twelve are for learning the alphabet, and the next seven are for the numerical system. The other sixteen are various educational readings that I think you'll find very beneficial for when Kazui finally enters school."
"Thanks, Uryū," Orihime chirped as she glanced through the books. There were so many words on the pages, she was getting dizzy from looking at it. How would her sweet little Kazui ever get through reading them when he was older? But she couldn't say anything—she was determined to be polite! "I'm sure Kazui will love them!"
Ichigo grimaced, as he too shuffled through the books. "No, he won't. He'll get bored on the first page just like I am!"
Orihime settled next to her husband as he leaned back tiredly after another long day of receiving gifts.
Ichigo stared at the massive pile of things that they nor Kazui (at his current age) had any use for. Among them sat several bottles of saké from Captain-Commander Kyōraku, expensive calligraphy brushes from Byakuya Kuchiki, fake syringes and blood samples from Captain Kurotsuchi, a plaster Hollow mask from Shinji, Karin's soccer ball, the beautiful albeit useless book from Tōshirō, Isshin's treadmill and 'grandfatherly love', Ikkaku's tantō, Yumichika's eyelash extensions, and many other trinkets (Kon's gift was not worth mentioning).
The 'Actually Useful for Kazui' pile was significantly smaller and was composed of A Collection of Bedtime Haikus by Shūhei Hisagi and Izuru Kira, the mountain of clothes from Rangiku, Yuzu's thoughtful donation of diapers and baby formula, a hand-drawn coloring book from Nanao Ise, Chad's scrapbook, and several warm blankets from Momo Hinamori.
It seemed that the majority of the shinigami in the Soul Society did not know how to shop for children's gifts.
"What are we going to do?" Ichigo groaned, gesturing towards the gifts.
Orihime smiled and took Ichigo's hand in hers. She knew that one day all these gifts from their friends would come in hand, although she dared not wish it would come fast.
"We wait for Kazui to grow up."