Counting Stars

I do not own any characters. All mistakes are mine, and all of that jazz.

Chapter One: Lately Baby I've been losing sleep.

It is the chill in the air that awakens Regina. Her internal clock tells her that it is almost half past four in the morning. She doesn't need a stupid alarm clock to tell her that. She is awake before it goes off to remind her of another routine day. Routine, going through the motions; a never ending mundane cycle. One that she has been stuck in for the past five years.

The clock on her bucket/nightstand goes off; she slams the snooze button forcefully. Ten more minutes is what she tells herself. A clock, the bane of her existence. It's just another reminder of time passing by. It symbolizes all of the time she has wasted. It is a reminder that she is no one. How did she ever allow herself to get here; she knows how. Second by second, she is one step closer to her death. No one is immortal, even though her younger self used to believe that.

Regina used to have goals for herself. She was going to leave that small, stifling town of Storybrooke, Maine. She was going to be famous and live the life that the celebrities she idolized led. Her parents; primarily her mother Cora, never agreed with this plan. She made every attempt possible to derail Regina's hopes and dreams; and for the most part, she succeeded in doing so. Now here Regina lies, in the still of the early morning, dreading the day ahead.

Alone she lies in bed. No one cares about her anyway. Her parents disowned her when she dropped out of college during her first semester. She was forced to attend Yale. She was always smart, but college was never in her plans. Her family was well off. Her mother, a successful politician, always wanted Regina to follow in her steps. It was always her way or the highway; and damn did that highway look appealing. So Regina headed down that lonely path; sacrificing every thing for her choice. If only she had made that decision sooner; maybe her life would be different.

That was a long time ago. Now, she lives in a shitty studio apartment in the slums of New York City. A city that once held all of her hopes and dreams. At least she was able to leave Storybrooke. How could she have gone from tree lined streets and white picket fences, to dirty buildings with urine coated staircases and drug dealers on every corner. She is strong, she can deal with this, or at least that is what she tells herself.

Fuck that, who is she fooling. She isn't strong. She knows what being strong looks like. She saw it hop on a motorcycle and ride off into the sunset five years ago; never looking back. That rainy day; she can remember it as if it were yesterday. That was the day that her life ended and this personal version of hell began. What hurts the most, is that she had lost the only person that ever brought light into her dark life, Emma. She hasn't heard from her since that day.

Her white knight. Regina was always so proud of her. Those stupid Strorybrook losers always tried to put Emma down, but Regina knew better. Emma never fit in, and those assholes made sure to remind her of that every chance that they got. It still surprises her that two people like herself and Emma; two people who define the phrase "opposites attract" were able to create something so beautiful. The love that they had for one another was one that couples strive for. It was a love that Regina single handedly destroyed.

Sometimes, to pass the time and make her day a little more bearable, Regina would allow herself the pleasure to think about Emma. She would replay their relationship in its entirety. Reliving all of the beautiful moments that they had created. She would wonder what Emma was doing at that very moment, or what success she had achieved so far in her life. More importantly, would she ever see her again.

She didn't allow herself to partake in this action often. It caused a deep ache in her chest. The pain was all too real; and with the shitty cards that life had dealt her; often too much to stomach. Oh how Regina wished that they could have remained in contact; but it is for the best anyway. What could she offer her now. Emma had made her choice; she left. Regina had made hers as well; she stayed, and left when it was too late.

Her alarm startled her from her thoughts; 4:30 am, time to get up. She gets out of bed and showers quickly. She has no time to waste. Thirty minutes later she is putting her hair up in a bun and rushing out of her apartment. It's winter time in the city, and the blast of bone chilling cold air that bitch slaps her in the face is a reminder of that. She is cold, actually she is freezing; but it's either buy a new coat or starve for a month.

It is still dark out, which means that the heathens of the city are still frolicking around. She walks quickly, trying to navigate the ten blocks to the train station without drawing attention to herself. She sees the locals from her neighborhood making their way as well. They greet one another with a slight nod of the head. It is way too early to make small talk and pretend to actually give a fuck about each others miserable lives.

She finally makes it to the train station. She can here that the train is approaching, so she runs up the stairs to hopefully catch it. She raises her hand in acknowledgment to the station agent who is always at the fare booth as she pays for her fare. She makes it just in the nick of time; right before the train doors are closing.

The warm air of the train while foul smelling, is a relief from the bitter cold outside. Thankfully, at this time in the morning she is able to find a seat on the train. She sits down and relishes in the small comfort. It will be the last time that she gets to sit down for the next twelve hours.

Everyone dreams of living New York; the big apple. Television really makes it seem like a magical place where dreams come true; but no one knows the true reality of this city. It isn't all glitz and glamour. It is a giant cesspool filled with lost souls living the life of shattered dreams and false promises. It is tough and hard labor. She works like a dog, and still it is barely enough to pay the bills. Her life is a constant cycle of work, eat, sleep, repeat.

She lives about forty minutes away from her job at a diner in the Greyhound bus terminal in the city. She hates it. She has to watch thousands of people get on buses and get away from this hell hole that she calls home.

The ride is too short, and after pushing a sleeping passenger off of her shoulder; she finds herself in front of her job, Granny's Diner. Ruby, her co-worker is already inside. She quickly greats her, and makes her way to the back. The diner doesn't open until 6:30. She has about thirty minutes to complete her pre opening tasks. She barely hears when Ruby tells her that she is running to the rest room.

Flashback

Regina had been working at Granny's since her second day in New York City. She had just gotten off of a greyhound bus from Maine. She was shocked and frightened by all of the homeless people she saw at the terminal. One of them had asked her for money and when she responded that she had none, he became irate and began hurling insults her way. She ran and entered the first place she could, which was Granny's.

Before she had fled from her hometown, Regina made sure to empty out her savings account which her parents kept quite healthy. She had enough money to live off of for four months. She thought that it would be enough time to get on her feet. Oh how naive she was.

When she entered Granny's she saw an older woman behind the counter wiping it down. The woman jumped, startled by the slamming of the door. She immediately looked up and calmed down when she saw the lost and out of place young woman.

"Child, you gave me quite the fright there." She said in a southern drawl that seemed to have lessened over time. "What are you doing in a place like this at this time of night? Sit down, let me pour you a cup of coffee."

Regina did as she was told and sat down on a stool that was worn from years of use. The older woman came back with the coffee and placed it in front of her. "So, what brings you here?" The older woman asked again.

"I just got off one of the busses. I'm from Maine. I just moved here", Regina replied.

"Why on earth would you move to New York City? Are you starting school here or something?" The older woman peered over her glasses and waited for a reply.

The brunette could sense the judgement she was receiving from the other woman, but decided to answer. "I moved here for a better life, I'm hoping that once I land on my feet, I can begin going on auditions. You see, I want to be an actress."

All of a sudden from behind Regina came a snotty reply. "Oh great, we have another one Granny. Don't you think you came to the wrong city to become an actress?"

Regina turned around and was met with a tall, skinny, red head. The woman was giving her a look that she could not discern if it was one of pity or annoyance.

Before Regina could reply, the older woman spoke first. "Ignore my granddaughter, she is still, oh what's that word you young folk use nowadays; salty, yes salty because she has not heard back from her recent audition."

A flash of anger washed over the red head's features. The older woman was impressed. "You see, if you would show as much emotion and sass as you show in this here diner; you might get called back more often."

The red head turned around and stormed off to the back of the diner. The older woman smirked and then turned her attention back to Regina. "Listen child, it is fine and dandy for one to have hopes and dream. However, it is another thing to be realistic. This town will throw you out on your ass faster than you know it. How are you on money? Do you have a place to live?"

Regina was touched. It was the most that anyone had cared for her in a while. "I have a reservation at a hotel for a week, until I can get a place of my own. I should be fine, thank you for your concern."

The older woman stared at the brunette for a long while before she spoke. "Well then, I wish you the best of luck. Just in case, I was going to put an ad in the paper for a waitress. Do you think you would be interested? You know, just till you get on your feet and all."

Regina thought about the proposal. She could use the money now that she was on her own. It would soften the blow to her savings. Her decision was quick. "Yes, thank you. I will gladly take the position Mrs…" "Granny" the older woman replied. "You can call me Granny'"

End Flashback

Regina never did truly get on her feet. Soon she found her savings quickly drying up. She was able to get an apartment in the Bronx. She couldn't afford anything in any other borough. The countless auditions that she went on never produced anything. So she found herself still employed at Granny's, hoping her luck would one day change.

She goes about her pre opening routine when she hears the bell alerting her that someone has entered the diner. Regina huffs because really can't anyone read in this fucking city. There is a sign on the door that clearly says that the diner opens at 6:30.

She heads out front ready to give the dumbass a piece of her mind, but the words gets lodged in her throat at the sight in front of her.

Right before her is a woman, who appears to be her same age. She is wearing clothes that look like they have seen better days. She has long blond hair which is pulled back into a low ponytail. She looks tired, like she has had a hard life. Holding the woman's hand is a little boy who appears to be no more than four years old. He looks sleepy and is rubbing his eyes with a hand holding a stuffed bunny.

Regina cannot believe the sight before her. She never thought that she would be granted the privilege of seeing this woman ever again. She has so many throughts, so many questions; but the only word that leaves her mouth is "Emma?"