The journey back feels endless. The currents fight against him, as if they are telling he's going the wrong way. Yuri trudges forward either way, he's already late.

He hears no voices as he squeezes back into the nest, manages to hide himself for the few roaming guards doing their early rounds.

The first voices he hears are of the triplets as he reaches his cluster. He stares for a second at the entrance of Yuko and Takashi's cave, only to turn toward his own and swim in.

"Yuri!"

The natare jumps slightly at the sound of his name. Only to be hugged tightly by a flustered Isabella. "You made it!"

"Told you we could count on him," JJ says with pretend confidence, Yuri can tell the younger natare had been worried. "Yuko stopped by earlier today, she came to collect you for the mater reunion. I told her you were still resting in the back chamber and will wake you up soon."

Yuri glances at the caves entrance. He'd barely made it then. Barely…

"Did Isabella spend the five days here?" Yuri asks cautiously. He didn't want to intrude on their privacy, but at the same time he felt he needed to know as much as to what had transpired in the days he was gone.

"Yes!" JJ pipes up excitedly. "It was great! We—" Isabella elbows him on the ribs before he can continue.

"We became a bonded pair," Isabella says quietly. "I hope you don't mind… as JJ's official mate..."

"No," Yuri shakes his head. "I'm happy you're happy. That we all can be with our mates." Even if it was only for a short while.

How long could they get away with this ruse? How long could he stay mated without fry? How long until the elders started asking questions? Would he even be able to leave to see Victor again?

"Speaking of," JJ cuts in. "Did you find your mate?"

Yuri feels his body warm just by thinking of Victor. He nods, words unable to leave his throat.

The small moment of happiness ends quickly, and Yuri feels the threat of tears on the corners of his eyes. "The reunion of maters?" he manages to say without stumbling. "When does it start?"

"Yuko said in an hour when she stopped by." Isabella answered. "That was almost thirty minutes ago."

"Not much time..." Yuri drops his hands to his side.

"Do you know what happens at the reunion?"

JJ purses his lip. "Not really." The mater reunion has always been exclusive for maters and the nursing cave staff. Did you ever ask Yuko about it?"

Yuri shakes his head.

"Mmmm," JJ crosses his arms in thought. "All I really know is that it's a very old tradition. Ancient. I remember my mother getting all excited about it so it must not be bad. The one thing that I do know that isn't exactly nest knowledge is that the reunion happens because maters were not allowed to choose mates generations ago."

"So us?" Yuri says, keeping his hands in front of him.

"I guess…" JJ purses his lips. "Never thought about it, was too excited when I realized I could be with Bella." He grins completely carefree. Yuri feels a tinge of jealousy to be so free of worried. To be free of the constant onslaught of thoughts.

Isabella fidgets next to JJ. She doesn't share her mate's calm.

"I should get going then," Yuri stares at the pair, he's sure his eyes show something, but he smiles anyway and turns to leave.

"Let us know how it goes ok?" Isabella says before he exits. Yuri spares her a glance. She holds her hands tightly in front of her and when they make eye contact she rushes forward, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him tight. "We're your family now. All of us."

Yuri feels as her words break ever so slightly. "Even when I have to bear JJ's fry?" he can't help but ask.

She blinks tears and nods. "Even so. We'll be a family."

Yuri feels a slight comfort at her words. It sounded like a nice future, even if it wasn't the one he wanted. Even if it cemented his life without Victor.

Isabella releases him.

He swallows the knot in his throat and leaves the cluster knowing he can no longer linger. Towards the nursing caves and the reunion of maters.

Yuri decides to take the long way to the nursing caves. To delay the inevitable for as long as he could.

If JJ was right, and the reunion of maters was an old tradition started only because at one point maters were not allowed to choose, then why had the tradition been kept? What was the point of disrupting newly mated pairs trying to conceive? He could have gotten more days with Victor. He could have had enough time to take Victor someplace place, away from his nest and start a life just for them.

His thoughts are disrupted by the sound of something breaking. Yuri rushes to the sound coming from the storage caves. When he enters he finds a young fingerling smashing a human vase against the rock.

"Yurio." Yuri calls out, but the fingerling ignores him, grabbing yet another vase and smashing it. "Hey! Yuri reaches Yurio and saves a small dark vase from his fury. "Destroying items is forbidden. You could be forced to a dark cluster."

"So what! Who the fuck cares! What's the point of keeping all of these things if all that matters is the nest!"

Yuri waits for the tirade to end. Waits until all that was left was the young natare's shaky breathing and the reassurance of silence outside the cave.

Yurio lumps on the floor. He stares at the pile of broken vases as if mesmerized.

"I was going to be a monitor." The fingerling's shaky voice is barely audible. He takes a slow breath and pulls his tail close to his chest. "I was going to go out there and search for my parents."

"You still can."

"No I can't!" Yurio slams his hand against broken pieces on the floor. "Grandfather ordered the sixteen fingerlings in the nest to be tested today regardless of age…" he growls a bit.

"Even the untried ones?" Yuri asks in disbelief. Untried fingerlings are five years away from participating in the mater ceremony. Some natare still considered them fry. They were far too young.

Yurio nods. "The elders want to know how many will be maters."

"How many?"

"Two." Yurio bites out. "Only two…"

Yuri spots tears in the fingerlings eyes as a small piece shatters in his hands. "You." The older natare realizes. "You are one of the two."

"I am forbidden to leave the nest." Yurio stares at the blood in his hands. "I have a year to find a mate or my grandfather will choose one for me. He said I need to set an example of the sacrifices we must all make to make sure of our survival."

Yuri closes the space between them, grabs the fingerlings hand carefully to check the wound. He grabs the supply box Takeshi keeps in the monitor cave and takes a piece of cloth to wrap Yurio's hand in. He has no idea what to say to the young natare. Being a mater had always been a status surrounded by pride. Like being chosen for something divine. To be the carriers of the future, to bear the children of the nest.

Yuri had been so happy when they told him he was one. So full of pride. A happiness that became a burden after he lost his family. When he stopped being simply Yuri, and became Yuri, the mater. Yuri, the orphaned mater. And all the pity the nest had to offer fell on his shoulders. Until all he wanted was to escape. All he wanted was to not be Yuri, the mater anymore and fought to become Yuri, the monitor.

It was different for Yurio. True that Yuri knew little about Yurio who wanted to see the world and find his parents. For Yurio, being a mater meant imprisonment for life. It was his dreams disappearing in order to fulfill his duty to his nest as grandchild of an elder.

It was unfair. It had been unfair for a long time now.

And the unfortunate truth was, that Yuri could do nothing to ease the fingerlings suffering, except sit quietly next him and wait until Yurio's tears stopped falling.

Yuri was late for the reunion of maters. Escorting Yurio back to the fingerling's cluster had taken time he didn't have, but he wouldn't have done it differently. If he didn't aid the fingerling when he needed him, he would have regretted it.

The nursing caves appeared empty when he arrived, but he quickly heard the soft voices of conversation as they grouped together in one of the rooms. Not sure where else to go, Yuri followed the voices, finding Sara and Michele engaged in an excited conversation.

"Yuri!" Sara interrupted her brother in mid-sentence. She swam to Yuri's side, her smile wide as she hugged him. "Yuko just left to look for you. You didn't cross paths?"

"No," Yuri shakes his head. "I didn't use the main cavern." He wondered if the other maters knew of the testing of the fingerlings. That two new maters had been discovered.

"She seems a bit frazzled you weren't here yet."

"I heard…" Yuri looks around the room. "Where's Guang-Hong?"

"He's with the elder, doing his checkup." Michele said as he picked on one of his nails. "She asked for you, but you weren't here and Guang-Hong was so nervous she decided to see him first."

"Elder?" Yuri asks.

Sara nods. "Elder Lilia used to be head of the nursing caves. She always tends to the maters at the reunion."

"Do you know much about the reunion?" Yuri asks.

Sara brightens. Her tail swishing vividly. "My mother told me a little. She spoke fondly of it, with great pride."

"Pride?" Yuri feels like the walls of the room are closing in and is suddenly overwhelmed with dread. With the feeling this is not the place he should be. Something was different from before. Something had changed in just a few days.

Yuri knew what it was. That Victor wasn't' here. That Victor would never be here. He felt it everywhere. Deep in his core. This wasn't home. Victor was home.

"Guang-Hong!" Sara announces the young mater's return excitedly. The young mater's cheeks appear to burn. His hands locked together in front of him as his tail twitches nervously. Sara starts approaching the entrance to meet him, but her swim and enthusiasm hastily vanishes when Lilia appears.

"Mater Yuri, you are late." the words are softly spoken, with a hint of disapproval.

"My apologies, elder Lilia." Yuri bows slightly, keeping his hands tucked behind him.

"Follow me. The oldest mater always goes first."

Yuri follows without looking at Sara or Michele. When he passes Guang-Hong, the young mater has a soft smile on his lips and he just looked happy, very happy.

They reach one of the nursing caves in the back. The largest one usually saved for the elders.

"Did you fulfill your duties to this nest and mated with your assigned mate?"

Yuri is taken aback by the sudden question, but pushes the shock down and answers. "Yes."

Lilia points to the tending rock and Yuri sits, forcing to keep his tail still.

"How many times did you join with your mate?"

Yuri blinks and tries to count in his head. He feels the tinge of awkwardness spread. He really had no idea. A lot. It's all jumbled in feverish memories of Victor and more Victor. It sometimes felt they did nothing else for all those days. "I don't recall… Many times."

There is no reaction from Lilia.

"Did you mate mistreat you in any way?"

"What?"

The female elder purses her lips. "Alain's son didn't seem to grateful for the opportunity to have a mater. His reaction brought some concern among the elders. Part of the mater reunion is to ensure that mater's have good mates. That those mates do not overstep their boundaries and abuse their mate."

"He did not mistreat me." Yuri is careful. He feels he has to be. Knows he has to be.

"Did Jean-Jacques bring a natare called Isabella into your nest?"

His lips tremble. He doesn't know the right answer. Is there even one?

"Yes." He doesn't lie. He can't. "She asked to live in the nest with us."

Lilia's brows come down in a hard frown. "That is unacceptable. Jean-Jacques is your mate and there should be no one else living with you in your nest. I'll have to talk with Nikolai—"

"I said she could." Yuri stops her words. "I gave her permission." He knows if he doesn't say something, things would break more than they already were. He could end up with a new mate. One that doesn't understand like JJ does. Someone that doesn't help him like JJ did. Lilia opens her mouth, but Yuri continues before she can voice her disapproval once more. "She was there for a little while before the mating season began. She asked if I needed anything. If I was hungry." The memory is kind in his mind. "Do you know how long it has been since someone asked me that? Since someone was in my cave and wanted to stay?"

"Mater Yuri…"

"So I told her she could. That the three of us could live together and raise JJ's fry. Our fry…"

"That's enough, mater Yuri." Lilia's places her hand on Yuri's shoulder. Stealing his thoughts away. "No need to get distressed."

Yuri feels his breath shakes ever so slightly. Feels reassured that he has done his best to keep secret what belonged to him.

"Please lie on the bedrock." Lilia commands. "I will begin your health check." Yuri looks up at the elder, but does as he's told.

The bedrock feels stiff on his back. Harder than the dry rock in he and Victor's cave.

Elder Lilia's hands are firm, but careful at the same time as they touch him. "Your skin is warm, this is a good sign."

Yuri resisted frowning and tries not to squirm under the touch. He'd had many health checks before, but this felt different, invasive. He remains still, fingers clenching against the examination.

"Your penis did not extend during mating," Lilia says mechanically. "You were very receptive to your mate then. Good, I've only ever seen that happen in aman bonds. Elder Nikolai will be pleased he chose Alain's son as your mate."

Yuri closed his eyes trying to tune out the words. He didn't want to hear any of it. This was the reunion of maters? To throw newly mated maters into an invasive examination and ask them details of the bonding with their mates? It was horrible. This nest was horrible. It wasn't the nest he grew up in. The nest his father and mother so dearly loved. This wasn't home. He didn't belong here. Home was Victor and their cave, and their island.

Yuri shut his eyes and feels tears burn as his slit is spread open. He bites his lip and thinks of nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Until the elder moves away from him. Until she tells him to sit up.

"Your nest is so proud of you, Yuri." He words feel like stings on his skin. "A mater that proved he could be a monitor, only to come back to fulfill his duty to this nest."

"Your family would have been so proud."

Yuri snaps his head up, images of his mother, father, and sister striking him hard. His family would have never brought this upon him. His family would have been by his side, supporting him when he told them about Victor. They would have met his human, known he was a good human, a good mate. They would have done everything in their power for Yuri to have the life he wanted with Victor. Not here in this nest. Not here in this cave.

But his family was dead.

Yuri was alone in the world.

Lilia's smile was broad.

"Congratulations, mater Yuri. You're expecting fry."