Summary: Merlin and Freya have a son and everyone (including Arthur) is overjoyed until he says his first words. Then, everyone excluding Arthur is overjoyed.

A/N: Slowly, ever so slowly an update makes it through. Maybe Seedsiz is not dead yet.

Chapter 50: The Iddit and The Pwat

Arthur had not kept Merlin company outside his chambers all night when Freya had gone into labour, no he most certainly had not.

Arthur did not make excuses to go see Merlin (and his spawn) more often the necessary. He had better things to do.

Arthur did not go through all the colours of a grape ripening when Merlin's son opened his mouth to speak his first word and out tumbled the hesitant, "Pwat?"

Arthur did not chase Merlin all through the castle after said occurrence. All the servants that turned their head the other way as he passed them could attest to that.

Arthur did not wear his smuggest grin when Guinevere told him she was with child. He was only happy to be a father at last, nothing else.

Arthur did not stay in his chambers for hours, teaching his son (and daughter!) all his favourite insults for Merlin.

Arthur did proudly show off his heirs when he'd taught them everything he knew, only to have them point at him and say, "Fat?"

Arthur did not chase Merlin. Again.

"Pwat?" said the curly haired baby looking after his father.

"Iddit," his little sister agreed.

From behind a column, Merlin's now five year old son stepped out and gave both children the pie he'd promised them if only they did what he said...