Love Trials

Authors Note:

I just want to start by saying this is and isn't a rewrite of another author's story. This is a rewrite/remaster of tazymay's story named 'The Trials Of Love'. What I mean by this isn't a rewrite of another author's story is that the original author was actually me as well. I use to have an account back in high school where I posted Gundam Seed fanfictions. I've since stopped using the email account attached to it. Therefore when I got back into writing I decided to create a new account with my new email.

I started to re-read some of my old stuff I posted. I was kind of disappointed I had left some unfinished. Especially since I have no idea where I was even going with them now. 'The Trials Of Love' was the longest one I wrote. I've since re-read it and although there are parts I still enjoy I feel like it is very forced in some ways. I used to have the habit of always going with my first idea and never exploring the better possibilities. I've since tried to grow out of that although still am guilty of it from time to time.

With that being said I wanted to rewrite this story. Many things I actually plan on changing such as conversations and personalities. I didn't really keep them true to themselves the first time around. Also Miriallia just seemed too ok with many things that she shouldn't have been. Many chapters will get changed and combined and lots of grammatically fixes. The main idea of the story will stay the same even with the many changes.

I hope you all enjoy 'Love Trials'.

Prologue: The Beginning of Peace

"Where's Kira?" the captain quietly asked herself. No one knew what to do or say. The whole ship was in shock. The war between naturals and coordinators was finally coming to an end. A ceasefire had been announced. But all the crew of the ARCHANGEL could think about was the bright light that had ended the final battle. The war was over, but should they celebrate? The commander had died protecting their ship. He saved their lives in exchange for his own. Now they sat there wondering if the only other person who had gotten them threw all the battles since Heliopolis was gone too.

Minutes went by and nothing. As time passed the Captain received word on what was to happen to the crew of her ship and the others but still no sign of the missing Freedom pilot. Suddenly there was a beep that went off in Miriallia's earpiece. "Huh…..What the?" The CIC quickly looked at her screen then turned to the captain "Captain we just received a message from the STRIKE ROUGE!" She announced.

"What does it say?" Captain Murrue questioned. Worried everyone waited eagerly to hear what the news she had received.

She sighed in relief as she read it to herself before relaying the message. "She says that she and Athrun are both fine. They found Kira, he's hurt but they think he'll be okay. They are heading for the ARCHANGEL immediately for him to receive treatment" shortly after finishing relaying the message the STRIKE ROUGE came into view. "Kira you really made it, you really did protected us all."

Murrue grabbed the phone on the arm of her chair and informed the crew in the hanger of the STRIKE ROUGE's arrival and the need for medical to be there without hesitation.

After giving her orders she hung up the phone. Murrue stood up and turned to bow to her crew on the bridge. They all looked at her surprised. When she stood back up straight they could see tears were beginning to form in her eyes as she began to speak to them "Thank you all of you for staying this long. We made it… though some didn't" She said sadly taking hold of the necklace hanging in front of her. "We are the survivors of this war and it is up to us to rebuild what those lost fought to protect. But for now please everyone rest, you all fought hard today" Murrue began to walk towards the door of the bridge but stopped in front of the CIC chair "…. Sai, Miriallia, I want you both to remove that uniform"

"Huh? But Captain?" Sai replied unsure of why she would tell them something like that.

"You are no longer EA soldiers, so there is no point in wearing that uniform. You two should have never been apart of this war…I'm sorry"

"Were no longer soldiers…we can go home" Miriallia thought.

The Captain then turned her gaze to the lone ZAFT pilot. "Thank you to you too, you helped protect us and I am in you debt" Dearka chose not to say anything but simply nodded in response. "I've been informed that a ZAFT carrier is on it way here. It will take all those wish to return to the PLANTs with it when it leaves. It will be here in an hour, in the meantime you should go get some rest"

"Thank you" was all he said as he left the bridge in search of some much need sleep. "The PLANTs? Can I really go back?" He questioned to himself. He couldn't help but think of Yzak. He had called him a traitor. Could a traitor like him really be welcomed back into the PLANTs with opened arms?

Murrue looked back over her shoulder at the two young communications officers with a small grin "You two off the bridge also, only soldiers are permitted here" Stepping out of the way she watched them both leave, hoping they would never have to step foot on the bridge again.

"Wow Dearka must have really wanted some rest, I don't see him anywhere" exclaimed Sai after the doors from the bridge closed. The two began going down the hall together a little lost on what to do now that they weren't technically soldiers anymore.

"Who cares" replied Miriallia as she looked down at her feet as she walked.

"huh?" He didn't expect such a cold response from her. He had thought she and Dearka had buried the hatchet but maybe he was wrong. Deciding to change the subject he said "It's great that we're no longer part of the military isn't it. The fighting is finally over and we can go home."

"I guess" Her voice sounded sad causing Sai to worry.

"Huh? Mir? Are…are you okay?"

"What do you mean?" she asked confused looking over at him.

"You've been kind of out it since we left the bridge"

"I'm just worried about Kira" she lied.

"Are you sure your mind isn't somewheres else?" Sai asked raising an eyebrow. Truth was her mind was somewhere else… thinking of someone else. When the shuttle came would he leave she wondered? Should she even care?

Mir quickly whipped around and began floating backwards. "I'm fine. You need to stop worrying about me so much" Sai's face suddenly went white as a ghost "Huh? Sai what's wrong?" She asked, now being the worried one.

He didn't answer only pointed. Mir turned around to see Kira on a stretcher being wheeled into the infirmary followed by a teary eyed Cagalli and Athrun.

"Oh my God! Kira!" Miriallia screamed as she floated towards them as quickly as she could.

"Everything is fine he just needs rest" Cagalli assured her before she and Athrun entered the room, the door closing behind them.

Miriallia leaned against the wall and began to cry, to cry for Tolle, the Commander, Fllay and even Kira. The war had taken and hurt so many and she was starting to get worn down from it all. When she calmed down a bit Sai placed his hand on her shoulder and whispered in her ear "Mir… I'm going to go get changed. We can check on Kira together when I get back ok?"

"…" She nodded yes and then watched as he floated away from her. When he was out of sight she felt another hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see it was none other than Dearka Elsman, the BUSTER's pilot.

"He'll will be ok. The princess wasn't lying."

"Just go away" She whispered in a hateful tone.

"Huh?" He said surprised.

"I know you're leaving. If you're expecting us to… do what we did again before you go you can just forget it. Like you said It was a mistake, one no one needs to know about."

Flashback

He looked down at his hands, frustrated he balled them up into fists. He wanted to hit the tabled below him, crack it in two if it could make the pain go away. He never expected to see the VESALIUS go down, not without him fighting to protect it. Maybe Yzak was right, he was a traitor. What was he fighting for anyway? The ARCHANGEL had taken him prisoner. They held him in the brig for nearly two months, and now he sat alone in mess hall as a trusted pilot. But he didn't believe in the cause… not as much as Athrun anyways. So why was he here?

Hearing hesitant footsteps approach he turned to look. It was her. The girl who seemed to bring out both the worst and the best in him. She stood only a few feet from him looking upset. He didn't know how to react. Why was she so upset he wondered. Standing up he looked at her frowning in confusion. He was more confused when she reached forward and touched his arm gently for a few seconds.

"What are you doing?" He questioned looking down where her hand had been.

"I needed to know you're real… that you didn't die out there" She replied sadly looking away from him.

"Why would you think I was dead?" He mocked.

"I lost your signal…I saw the same message I saw… when Tolle was killed." She whimpered, hearing this his frown softened. "I was terrified you were gone. That I would never see you again."

"I'm fine" he insisted.

"You don't look fine" She said looking back at him and up into his tourchered eyes. "What happened out there? In the colony? The commander came back injured… Kira is an emotional wreck and you..."

"And I what?" He nearly snapped.

"You look lost" She replied sympathetically. They were both quiet for a few second before she spoke again "I'm sorry about your ship."

"It wasn't my ship, just a place I served once. That part of my life is over now. I will never be a ZAFT soldier again. There is no reason to get emotional over it."

"So just like that you move on? You just watched people who were part of your life die, that can't mean nothing to you." she said confused at his nonchalance.

"Maybe you don't realize this, but that is part of being a soldier. This is a war. People die everyday. As much as we may desire to stop that, more lives will be lost before it is all over. If you can't live with that then maybe you made the wrong choice staying with this ship." He grumbled before pushing past her, bumping slightly into her shoulder.

His statement made her angry but in that moment a feeling inside her was stronger than that "I'm glad you didn't die." She whispered as he brushed past her. He was surprised to hear this. Stopping he turned to look at her back. "I don't know what I would do if I lost you. I don't want anyone else to have to die because they were protecting me."

He watched her from behind as she started to cry. She was upset all because of him… again. Except this time it was because she thought she had lost him forever. Was it possible that she actually cared for him? Nervously he scratched the back of his neck before reaching out for her shoulder. "Hey listen…" he started before being interrupted by her spinning around and slamming her body into his. She cried into his chest, balling her hands up into his shirt. He wasn't sure what to do at first, then in a sudden moment of clarity he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in tight. "It's all going to be ok." He whispered in a sultry tone.

She pulled her face away from his chest and looked up into his bright violet eyes. She had never noticed how enchanting his eyes were before. Her stomach felt strange looking at him. Like she was nervous or excited… maybe both. It was the first time she had felt such feelings for the young coordinator. She took a deep breath and felt herself standing up straighter, pushing her her head up closer to his. He seemed to follow suit leaning his head down towards hers. They hovered so close together that there was barely a space between their lips, both wondering if they should take the leap.

He moved his head to be next to her ear "I'm sorry I scared you" He said, his hot breath dancing on her neck drove her crazy. "I promise next time I won't put you through that again. But don't ask me not to fight… because if you died I would truly be the one who was lost." Turning his head he kissed her sweetly on the cheek.

Her face was quickly covered in a slight shade of pink as she watched him walk out of the room. Her knees felt weak as she stumbled back and took hold of the table behind her for support. Slowly she lifted her hand up and touched her cheek where his lips had touched. She smiled to herself as she closed her eyes. She could hear her heart pounding in her chest. She listened quietly to it as she felt her face cold down.

"Miriallia there you are!"

"Huh?" She opened her eyes and saw Sai standing alone in the doorway.

"Are you okay? I just saw Dearka leaving… you two didn't get into another fight did you?" He asked as he approached. Seeing tears in her eyes he wiped one away. "You've been crying" He remarked.

"It's nothing. Just… it was a tough day." She admitted. "How is Kira?" She asked trying to change the subject.

"I'm not sure. I haven't had the chance to speak with him."

"And you?" she inquired.

"Huh? What do you mean me?" He questioned confused.

"Fllay… the DOMINION has her now." Mir could see he was trying his best to stay strong about the situation.

"Fllay is stronger than anyone give her credit for. I'm sure she will be fine." He tried to tell himself just as much as her.

"You're right. She'll be just fine." She said pushing herself off the table. She stretched her arm up high and yawned loudly, causing Sai to laugh at her slightly. "Huh? What?" she mumbled embarrassed.

"Nothing, just you should probably get some rest. After that battle I doubt we will be attacked anytime soon." He remarked. "Now is as good of time as any to catch up on some sleep."

"And you?"

"My shift is about to start, yours just finished right?" He questioned.

"Yeah… it did." She said sighing. "I miss when we use to get to hangout. It seemed now we only get a few minutes together between shifts."

"I know" He said placing his hand reassuringly on her shoulder. "But I promise when this is all over we will spend as much time as possible together." He said leaning in and kissing her on the cheek in the same spot Dearka had moments before.

She was surprised how different it felt. Sai's kiss was that of a friend's, one that just wanted to let her know he was there for her. Dearka's on the other hand felt… it felt like more. Like he was holding back what he really intended. It felt like when Tolle used to kiss her cheek. A kiss of affection and adoration.

After Sai left she headed to her room to get some rest. When she laid down however all she could do was toss and turn. Her mind was stuck. She frowned looking up at the ceiling. Why would he do that? Why would he kiss her cheek? The more she thought about it the angrier she got. Knowing she wouldn't get any sleep until she asked him about it she got up. Leaving her bunk she headed down to Kira's old room which Dearka had taken over.

Reaching forward she knocked hard on the door three times. She waited impatiently outside for him to open it. He seemed to be taking his sweet time answering it but finally the door whooshed open revealing a very sleepy shirtless soldier. She was all ready to yell at him and ask why he kissed her cheek like that when she noticed his chest. All anger wiped off her face and was replaced with concern. "You're hurt" she remarked.

He glanced down at his chest. It was covered in bruises both new and old. He looked back up at her and said "I take it you've never seen a pilot with their shirt off before" She just looked at him doe eyed making him feel the need to explain. "Mobile suits get hit and the pilots get trashed around. Injuries like this happen but they are nothing to worry about." He assured her. "So why are you here anyway? Shouldn't you be getting some sleep by now?"

"I couldn't sleep, I'm hardly ever able to sleep anymore" She admitted. "Guess I have a lot on my lately" To her surprise Dearka moved aside and motioned with his head for her to come in. She just looked at him unsure of what to think.

"It's not like I'm going to bite" He said sarcastically. Reluctantly she walked in. She looked around the empty room and then back at the soldier. "So what was it you wanted to talk to me about. Not that I'm an expert or anything but that wasn't exactly the calmest of knocks." He joked sitting down on his bed.

"Forget it" She said her eyes shifting away from him embarrassed.

"You know you should really try and get some sleep" he said. "You're kind of essential to the survival of us pilots. Wouldn't want you to mess up because you neglected to take care of yourself."

"It's not that easy to sleep… every time I close my eyes I get…" She hesitated. She didn't want to say it.

"Scared?" He asked. She was surprised when he started to smile at her. "Can I let you in on a little secret?"

"What?" She questioned curious.

"Even the bravest soldier gets scared. If they aren't then they're crazy. Any day could be our last and there isn't much we can do to change that. All we can do is fight and hope for a brighter tomorrow." She looked at him in disbelief. Was this really the same boy that walked onto their ship so many weeks ago. "Now come here" He said standing. Her eyes opened wide as he took hold of her belt and undid it causing it to fall loose around her body.

"Wh-what are you doing?" She blurted.

"Stay here tonight." He proposed. "I promise I'll keep you safe. I'll sleep in the other bed. Maybe knowing someone is there to protect you will help you to sleep."

"I don't think that will work." she confessed. "You see I share my room with several crew members. I'm never alone in there and yet I still feel scared when I close my eyes."

"Then I guess we have no choice."

"Huh?" Taking hold of her hand he pulled her down to the bed with him. She was shocked by his action.

He held her against his chest and whispered. "I promise I'll protect you, even if it's only for tonight." She couldn't believe what was happening, then again neither could Dearka. His head was screaming at him that it was a bad idea. She was a natural and his former enemy but his heart was beating so fast and loud it seemed to drowned out the sound of his head's protest.

Speechless MIriallia just nodded. Turning around she pulled her shoes and socks off followed by her jacket. She then laid down in the bed. She was so nervous she didn't know what to do or say. Then again she was supposed to be there for sleep so maybe she should just close her eyes she thought. As she closed them she saw a vision of Dearka kissing her cheek, raising the question all over again of why. She tried to push the image out of her mind. For almost an hour she laid there until finally she rolled over to looked at him. He already looked like he was fast asleep. She couldn't help but notice how peaceful he seemed.

Watching him sleep she decided maybe she should let him rest, that was until he spoke; eyes still closed. "Is something wrong?" He mumbled.

She jumped slightly, not expecting him to speak. Working up the courage she asked "Why did you kiss me?"

He opened his eyes and looked at her. "I don't know… it just… felt right." He admitted. She could tell by the sound of his voice he was only half awake. "Besides, it was just your cheek. Sorry if I offended you" He babbled before closing his eyes.

"No… it… it was ok" She couldn't believe how nervous she was. "Dearka?"

"Humm… yeah"

"You… you can call me by my name from now on" She informed him. He reopened his eyes and looked at her surprised. It had been so long since she had told him he couldn't say her name. Part of him never believed she would ever let him use it.

"Go to sleep… Miriallia" He said smiling at her. It was a smile she had never seen on his face before. It wasn't fake or out of politeness, it was real and genuine. Somehow this simple smile made her forget everything around her. Without thinking she suddenly closed the gap between them and kissed him.

He was stunned by her action but quickly returned the gesture. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation or the stress they were under that was fueling their actions but in the moment neither of them cared. All they cared about was forgetting everything else going on around them.

Miriallia slowly blinked as she woke up the next morning. Opening her eyes she was confused by her surroundings. "Where am I?" She wondered. She was quickly reminded when she felt something or rather someone pressed up against her. She blushed remembering who that someone was. Her blush turned to horror when she remembered something else. Lifting the blanket she looked down at her naked body. She couldn't believe what she had done. It all seemed right the night before but now she wasn't sure.

Not wanting to deal with it she snuck out of the bed hoping not to wake the sleeping pilot. Leaning down she picked up her underwear and quickly but quietly slipped them on and reached down for her shirt and bra. "You know in my experience it's best not to sneak out on someone you see everyday" Miriallia gasped in surprise as she stood up and looked back at the bed. Slowly Dearka opened his eyes to look at her.

"I… well" she stammered trying to come up with an explanation why she was trying to run out on him.

"Don't be embarrassed." He said rolling on his back to look at the ceiling. "Sometimes these things mean nothing. Just something that needs worked out of your system. If you want we can pretend none of this even happened. Reset back to yesterday after the battle." He suggested.

"I'm sorry… this… it's just not me. I don't do this" She said a little disappointed in herself.

"Then I should be the one apologizing. This was all just a big mistake" He glanced over at her and said. "You should get going, you know before anyone starts to wonder where you are" He then rolled over and looked at the wall to give her some privacy while she dressed. She did so quickly and left. When he knew she was gone from his room he slammed his fist hard against the wall. "Dammit you idiot! What the hell were you thinking?" He scolded himself.

End of Flashback

"Is that really what you think I want?" Dearka replied a little ticked off. "Sorry but I thought that maybe you needed someone to talk to now that a ceasefire has been called."

Whipping around to look at him she cried out "And what makes you think that I would want to talk to you?!"

Surprised at her reaction he backed up a bit. "... I… well" he stammered.

"Just stop it" she yelled. "Just go. Get on that shuttle and go back to the PLANTs! I don't need you! So just leave me alone you scumbag!" Surprised at her own words she covered her mouth stifling a gasp. She didn't know why those words had left her lips. She didn't think of him like that, not anymore at least. Was her emotions really running that high that she would say something that cruel to him? "Dearka… I… I'm sorry" she whimpered, but the damage was already done.

"If that's what you really want then fine, I'll leave" he spat before turning and taking off around the corner and down the hall.

Miriallia leaned back against the wall refusing to watch him leave. She knew that if she looked she would be watching him walk out of her life for good. She couldn't believe herself. With the ZAFT shuttle arriving soon she managed to have a horrible hello and goodbye with the blonde soldier. She couldn't help but feel full of regret.