A/N- I'm aliiiiiiive! The Massacre will take place, but there's no way I'm letting Emosuke come in this fic. The plot is thickening and we are approaching the main part of the first arc! I like to call it 'Naive Nanaiko'.

Anyways, on with the story!

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

CHAPTER 3 – Celebrations

Days changed into months as I breezed through the Academy. I was pretty good at theory, practicals were easy as pie (three cheers for jinchuuriki stamina!) and I managed to get good marks in kunoichi class. It wasn't as bad as most fanfictions had said. I liked the subtlety, but sadly, being a jinchuuriki, I won't be able to get infiltration missions. Every single ninja village made a point to keep track of jinchuuriki. At least, that would be the most logical choice.

But, I guess common sense in this world is not very common so, who knows?

Naruto managed to get good enough marks to hover in the middle (thanks to me). As for me, I overtook Sakura as Kunoichi of the Year, ranking second right after old Emosuke. Yaaaaay!

Normally, I was pretty unconcerned with other people's opinions. But when almost every single girl glares at you with jealousy and anger, as if they're imagining how to kill you in a million ways, is not very comfortable. Especially when the class' most sought after boy makes it a point to congratulate you while blushing and hugs you (awkwardly).

Sasuke meant well, but seriously, what the fuck was he even thinking?

Hinata was cool though. The gal had come a long way. She never stuttered anymore, her confidence had taken a boost and she had the sharpest sense of humour ever. And, what was more, that sly girl basically had everyone fooled into thinking she was a walking talking nervous wreck.

I would pay a million ryo just to see the expression on her dad's face when he finds out exactly how 'weak' she is.

We were celebrating in the traditional Uzumaki way- Ramen!

"Alright, let's go!" cheered Naruto.

Hinata smiled. "I love ramen! Ko! I'm going to Ichiraku's"

Hinata's bodyguard flinched. Ko was the only one who knew how much Hinata had changed, hanging around us. "H-Hai, Hinata-sama!"

Sasuke pouted (OMG, so adorbs!). "Nii-san was supposed to come too"

"Yeah, where the heck is he?" I asked.

A sudden flash of leaves revealed a curly haired boy. His hair was dark and his eyes were onyx black. A red and white Uchiwa fan was emblazoned on his chest; however the characteristic blankness on the face was missing.

"Sasuke-chan!" he hollered and leaned down to give Sasuke a hug.

"NO!" the boy screamed and took shelter behind me. "Go away, Shisui-baka! And bring my aniki!"

Shisui pouted and began crying OMG, were those anime tears?!

"Oh cousin of mine, how you wound me so! I came here, so happy, thinking I'll get to see my dear little Sasuke-chan, and you treat me like this!"

I giggled. "Hey Sasuke!" I said, poking his shoulder. "Introduce us?"

The boy grumbled and motioned towards the crying Uchiha. "That's Shisui-baka. He's aniki's friend, but he's nowhere near as awesome as he is"

"Yeah yeah. Whatever. Hi, nice to meet you, blah-blah-blah, let's go for ramen!" Naruto said excitedly.

Shikamaru just sighed. "Too troublesome. I think I'm just gonna go home"

"I would like to join you, Naruto-san. Why? Because-"

"Shika, it's free food! Let's go!"

"As I was saying, because-"

"Oh no you don't! You're coming with us Nara, whether you like it or not, 'ttebane!" I snarled, dragging the lazy boy behind me.

"Troublesome woman let me go!"

"FREE FOOD!"

"As I-"

"Hey hey. I'm coming too 'ttebayo!"

"W-wait! Nanaiko, wait for me!"

"What the- Sasuke-chan, don't ignore me!"

"Naruto-kun, Wait!" "H-Hinata-sama!"

At the almost empty gate, a lone figure was standing alone, a rain cloud hanging over his head. "It seems as if nobody remembers me" Shino sighed.

Kiba suddenly materialized. "Wh-Where the heck did everybody go?"

"Ah Kiba, they-"

"Right. Ichiraku's of course! Those ramen nuts!" With that, the Inuzuka left.

Shino sighed once again. "It seems as if it is written in my fate to be ignored".

A few metres away, a white eyed prodigy sneezed and muttered something about fate hating him.

The Sandaime Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi, was not in a good mood.

The Elder Council had convened to discuss the standards of the Academy. Only Koharu and Danzo were able to attend. The third member was sadly, not feeling too well.

Sarutobi knew this day would come and he had dreaded it. After all, this was Minato's and Kushina's legacy they were talking about.

Since the Kyuubi attack, Danzo had insisted on training the children. After all, the prospects of their enemies surviving not one, but two jinchuuriki of the Nine Tails were very slim.

The Yin and Yang splitting of the chakra beast had given Danzo two young children to 'guide'. Sarutobi had suspicions about his old rival and what he had done behind his back, but without any concrete proof...

"Hiruzen" said Danzo, breaking the old Hokage out of his reverie. "The Academy results came out today"

Straight to the point then.

"Ah, yes. And I believe you noticed something... interesting?" he said smoothly.

Danzo's eyes narrowed minutely. "Nanaiko Uzumaki" he stated simply.

"Ah, yes. Thank you for reminding me about her. I really must congratulate her on becoming the Kunoichi of the Year. She worked very hard, even taking advice from her seniors. Not many five year olds have that kind of humility or wisdom"

"Exactly"

And here goes.

"Nanaiko will surely flourish under more... proper tutelage. I can ensure her formulation as one of the best ninja of the village, if you just hand over her to me"

"And Naruto?"

Danzo didn't scoff, but he looked like he wanted to. "Naruto Uzumaki is not as smart as his sister, nor does he have her potential"

"Potential to become a weapon?"

Koharu looked at the two men as if watching a game, and in a sense it was. A game of words.

"Precisely" Danzo said coldly. "The Yondaime sealed the Kyuubi inside the girl to provide Konoha with a weapon, which I think was his best decision in his short tenure. That girl was born to be a weapon, and she was born to be used for the good of Konoha"

"The Yondaime sealed the beast so that she can protect herself and her loved ones" the old Hokage answered wearily.

"If I may" interrupted Koharu. "I agree with Danzo"

Of course she did.

"Even if Namikaze sealed the demon inside the girl so that she can protect herself, it doesn't matter. What's done is done, and the only thing we can do is ensure that the girl can wield the power of the Kyuubi and with it, protect Konoha"

Danzo didn't show any emotion, but Sarutobi was smart enough to see his satisfaction.

"However" Koharu continued. "I think we should first talk to the girl in question. This is her future. It should be her choice whether or not to train under an experienced shinobi or stay in the Academy"

Danzo's elation must have plummeted, but Sarutobi wasn't very happy either. From what he knew of the girl, she was ambitious and eager to make her mark in the world. And he was almost sure that his adopted granddaughter will take up the offer.

And he didn't like that one bit.

"Very well" he said gravely. "Tiger, please send Nanaiko"

The hidden Anbu operative vanished, leaving a quiet Sarutobi behind.

Why did Minato have to die and saddle him with this job once again?

"Hey, take that back! Miso ramen is much better than your stupid tomato ramen!"

"Tomatoes are highly nutritious and they are amazing in colour too! Red is the best colour ever!"

"Hey, orange is the best dattebayo!"

"Hn, only a dobe like you can like such a weird colour like orange"

"Shut up teme!"

"Dobe!"

"Pork ramen?" I offered to a slightly out of his depth Shisui. Poor guy. I remember the first time I saw a full-blown fight between Naruto and Sasuke. It was a pretty surreal experience.

I whacked Shikamaru's head as he slowly nodded off and motioned at the steaming bowl of ramen in front of him.

He just sighed. Mumbling a "What a drag", he split his chopsticks and slowly began slurping the noodles.

"Chouji, don't eat so fast or the food will get stuck in your throat" I chided the Akimichi who was already on his third bowl and was showing no signs of stopping or slowing down. "Shorry Naiko-chan" he said in between the slurps.

Shino (where the heck did he come from?) was just sitting quietly and brooding.

"Er Shino?"

"Finally remembered me, didn't you?" he said hollowly.

Oh crap.

"Sorry?"

He didn't answer, just sat there in his own little corner.

"Wow" said Shisui and whistled lightly. " 'Tachi was right. You're a mother hen"

I flushed and ducked my head. "I'm gonna take that as a compliment" I mumbled, embarrassed.

Shisui just grinned and inhaled his bowl. "Mmmm. I am definitely coming here again"

"Yatta!" I cheered. "One bowl, and all your dreams come true! That's the magic of Ichiraku Ramen!"

"Nanaiko Uzumaki?"

I turned to see an Anbu with a cat mask standing outside.

"The Hokage wishes to see you"

I smiled, although internally, I was wondering what was going on. "Sure! Shisui-baka, can you drop Naruto off at our home? I'm afraid he would stay here rather than go home and rest"

Shisui made a wounded sound. "You too Nanaiko-chan?" he said in a mock betrayed voice.

I swatted his arm and went to the Anbu.

"No funny business Cat-san, or I'm gonna kick you where the sun don't shine"

He must have detected some seriousness in my tone, because he just shut his mouth and nodded.

Also it may have to do with the fact that Naruto and I pranked the Anbu HQ a week earlier. He must have learnt not to mess with an Uzumaki.

Damn, that was a fine prank.

He touched my hand and I experienced the strange sensation caused by the Body Flicker Technique. I shut my eyes and played some Skrillex mentally to take my mind out of the weird churning sensation in my gut.

When I next opened my eyes, I was standing in a long room with four chairs, one of which was empty. The first was occupied by a grey haired woman with severe brows and sharp eyes. Next to her sat my jiji in his entire pipe smoking glory and next to him sat the biggest piece of shit to grace the fictional world right after Umbridge. Yep, you guessed it. My favourite warhawk (not!) Shimura Danzo.

This was three-fourths of the Council which would, in the future, force Itachi to kill his whole family. And even though I was sorely tempted to give them the finger, I decided to do the more appropriate thing and bowed.

"Hello jiji, and Lord and Lady Elder" I said in my best Hyuuga voice.

The woman seemed impressed. Danzo looked... smug?

"Nanaiko" jiji said warmly. "Congratulations on becoming the Kunoichi of the Year. It's great to see you work so hard to become a ninja of Konoha to protect it"

"Thank you jiji" I said, giving my sweetest smile.

For a moment, I saw jiji's warm persona break, revealing an old man with many regrets but the moment passed away as if it was never there.

"We have been... discussing your future. This" jiji motioned towards the war hawk, "is Shimura Danzo. He's one of my advisors and was also my former teammate. He has offered to personally train you and help you achieve your goal to become a strong ninja of this village"

I looked at Danzo, who was smiling slightly. Ew, his fake smile was creepier than Sai's fake smile. I smiled in return, while inside I was retching and cursing myself for my stupidity.

"My dream, for now, is to just make sure my loved ones remain safe and sound. The Academy's boring, but the only reason I attend is because I get to interact with my fellow classmates more often. These people will one day be my comrades, and don't you think it would be better if I establish bonds with them beforehand?"

Take that Danzo! Even that guy won't dare go against the Will of Fire so directly as to state right in front of the Hokage that the comrade stuff is bullshit!

I could practically see Danzo's anger and frustration at my argument. It wasn't sentimental bull, but actual logic. The older generations have their prejudices about Kyuubi, which leaves only the younger generation willing to accept me. If they group me with the older generations, I'll be isolated and discriminated against, possibly leading to me going Nine-Tails on the village. Group me with the younger generation, and Danzo will have a hard time making me his new bright and shiny weapon when I will be too invested in 'building bonds' with people my age, who have no pre-conceived notions of my furry little problem.

The woman (what was her name?) scanned me with scrutiny, as if trying to understand what I'm thinking by just staring at me.

Jiji, however, seemed happy. His whole demeanour seemed much more relaxed. "So that's a no then?" he asked gently.

I nodded.

He chortled. "Well then, as you say my dear. Tell Naruto-kun I'm proud of him too."

I chuckled and then waved. "I will. Bye jiji!"

"Bye my dear"

Cat grabbed my hand and we body flickered to Ichiraku's, where the strangest sight greeted me.

Naruto and Sasuke were being held by an extremely exhausted Shisui who had soup splattered over his front. Hinata was tending to a groaning Chouji who seemed to be suffering from stomach ache. Shikamaru had fallen asleep with a noodle forming a moustache on his face, Shino was sitting with a rain cloud over his head and wait, was he crying? Kiba was at the corner rocking back and forth, looking terrified and murmuring "Get it out Kiba. Get it out".

Shisui caught sight of me and glared at me."I am never babysitting ever again" he hissed.

I just smirked. "What's the matter Shisui-kaa-chan?

Shisui's eyes narrowed. "Oh it is on"

The next week was followed by a prank war the likes of which Konoha had never seen. I teamed up with Naruto to prank the living daylights out of Shisui while the Uchiha managed to rope in Itachi, who, to be honest, wasn't very interested in participating. Thank goodness for that, or he would have defeated us with his pure awesomeness.

I even managed to sweet talk Sasuke in becoming my 'in-man'. He seemed ridiculously happy about it.

The prank war was halted, however, when jiji decided to step in and gave me, Naruto and Shisui a lecture on how we should not paint each others' houses hot pink.

The Uchiha were not impressed with Shisui's new wallpaper.

Needless to say, the three of us bonded after that particular incident. The kid reminded me a little of Fred Weasley. He even (spoiler alert for HP and Naruto!) dies later on.

Cue waterfall anime tears.

My life seemed perfect. But this is the world of 'Naruto'. And if there's something I should have learnt about my new life, it was that Uzumaki have the worst luck in the history of bad luck.

And somehow, I ended up in the middle of a new shitstorm. This time, a non-cannon one.

Damn you Butterfly Effect.

Shimura Danzo knew that she was smart. He knew that she was strong. Most of all, he knew she was different.

Since the day she was born, her fate was sealed.

She would be a weapon. For the good of Konoha. That was his promise to himself.

Danzo summoned squad 4. Built for infiltration and assassination, these ROOT shinobi were no ordinary shinobi.

"Squad 4. Commence plan 35. It's time the roots of Konoha become stronger and firmer"

The white masked shinobi nodded and disappeared.

Nanaiko Uzumaki would be his weapon. And nothing will stop her from becoming one.

A/N2- MWA HA HA HA HA!

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Chouji-FREE FOOD!