A/N: Here's a little story I conjured up to prove I'm not dead that I'm just playing my life away. Takes place after Summer's revival.

Petal 09 - Hi

"Summer, are you absolutely sure about this?"

"YES!"

"...Yang?"

"ABSOLUTELY!"

"Dare I ask... Ruby?"

"THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME!"

"You three are absolutely mind boggling."

The family of women stayed in their dorm with their teammates out for the day. Ruby and Yang sat beside their mother, Summer as the three sat in excitement.

"Alright- so this will take awhile, so be good and behave while I visit the geezer." said Raven. Summer nodded happily as her daughters smiled with an obvious diabolical plan on their heads. With a sigh, she grabbed her scroll, and strolled out of the room.

"...Sooo...Can I have some milk now?" asked Summer, changing the subject. Without missing a beat, Ruby pulled up Yang's shirt as Yang fumbled on her back. "Good girls!"

"Can I at least say "No" before you try to fondle me?" deadpanned Yang. Ruby playfully latched herself onto her like usual while Summer patted both her daughter's head. "...You're not drinking?"

"After Ruby, Sunflower." said Summer as she patted an excited Ruby. "...But now I'm in the mood for something more~"

"Well look who decided to show up."

"Can it. I'm here because Ruby wants to see you."

Raven sat on the chair as her brother, Qrow relaxed on his infirmary bed with a cast on his left arm. His fight with Adam was as wild as his wounds- most of which have healed over time, while others seemed to have remained in the form of scars.

"Ace needs the expert? What- did she get a new part for her gun?"

"She got so many gifts for her birthday that she wants you to replace every part with expertise as to not blow up the dormitory."

"That last part seemed to be from you, sis."

"Fair enough- I just don't want another explosion. Oz might be forgiving about explosions and wall demolishing, but he's not when it comes to charging me with the fees when Glyn can just fix it."

"Hey, blame the board of governors for doing their job."

"Which is why I opted to just steal money from them anyway." said Raven as she snapped her fingers, and with a flip of her other wrist, a credit card appeared- one that was far too fancy for her to have.

"And here I thought you'd give up on our old way of life..."

"Old habits die hard. In my case, It died but it got revived. Sue me."

"I could, but I want to see my Ace before I'd die first."

"Good choice."

"I'm being discharged today anyway, so what the hell- I'll see you there in probably four hours." said Qrow as he took a deep breath. "...Got a smoke?"

"Not until you're out of bed."

"At least give me a drink- I'm dying from the dullness here."

"...Somehow I expected this to happen." said Raven as she opened to door to find Yang spitroasted by both twin roses, covered in sweat.

"Welcome back Sweetie~" said Summer as she drove her dick deep into Yang's hole. Ruby buckled as she released her load directly down Yang's throat. "Any news?"

"He'll be here soon. Get cleaned up now."

Yang being used to her debauchery, fairly got cleaned quickly as Summer and Ruby fixed each others outfit. Yang wore her gym outfit- though with her bust feeling much discomfort as her spats seem to sink into her skin. Ruby wore her normal clothes with the exception of her cape- while Summer copied her daughter's outfit with near precision- with the exception of a very tight corset and cleavage.

"...I wish I had bigger boobs." said Ruby pitifully as she compared herself to her mother.

"A C-cup isn't so bad~"

"At least you're not as monstrous as Yang will be when she gets to third stage pregnancy." placated Raven, making Ruby giggle while Yang felt her eye twitch.

"...As much as I regret saying this, I finally can say that I think I have enough boobage for me to flaunt around." said Yang as she tries pitifully to hide her perking nipples. "...Dammit, I'll have to wear a jacket for this. Uncle Qrow can be a pervert if he goes overboard."

"He touches you, and I'll break his balls. With Ruby's Scythe~" said Summer plainly, shocking Yang and Ruby. "Or I'll just ask Raven to get a knife and feed it back to him~"

"And that my girls, is the reason why Tai and Qrow find her unbelievable." said Raven, answering their query. "She means everything she says to a point."

"...And I thought Mom can't go beyond the dark side." said Ruby.

"I think her fighting with the Remnant's ultimate enemy counts as going beyond the dark side, Rubes." said Yang.

"...True, but..."

A few knocks on the door, and all four women changed their topic as three of them frantically finished their outfits. Raven marched out of the room, to find Qrow with a flask in hand and the light scent of alcohol in the air.

"Wazzaaap Sis."

"Drunk on the get go. Not surprising."

"Hey, after being on that hospital bed for the past week, I think I deserve a drink to celebrate!" said Qrow as he took another sip. Raven heard the footsteps calm behind her as she lead her brother into the room.

"Hey boozeman." said Yang as she highfived her Uncle.

"Hey Firecracker. How ya been?" said Qrow with a hint of playfulness in his voice. "I heard you got wiped from fighting with Roman's goon."

"She isn't the average goon, for starters." rebutted Yang. "And another- she's-"

"UUUUUNNNNNCCCCCLLLLLEEEEEE QQQQRRRROOOOWWWW!" echoed in Qrow's ears as he felt Ruby latch onto his torso, pushing him back slightly as he takes another drink.

"Hey Ace. How have you been?"

"FUN!"

"Well, looks like I'll be here for awhile- you said you need a weapon fixed yeah?"

"YEP!" Qrow turned his head to beside Yang. "AND I NEED OL' QROWY TO DO IT!"

"Yep- with the three of us, we can fix your weapon up! Right Ruby?" asked Qrow.

"YEP!"

"OH YEAH!"

"Now- Ruby, I need you to...ummm... since when did my aces multiply? Or am I seeing double?" said Qrow as he nonchalantly takes another drink- thinking the alcohol must be some strong stuff.

"Oh, I forgot to mention. Ruby and I fucked and Summer is our love child." said Raven, as she sat on bed and drew out her scroll. "So she's back from the dead and looks like Ruby."

"Is that right?" said Qrow as he took another sip.

"YEP!" For a moment, the girls thought that their reveal would shock Qrow- that was the entire point of this sort of mean practical joke. But nope- Qrow took it and looked at both of the identical twins and smiled at them. That is until five minutes later.

"...Okay then." was all Qrow could say before he fell on his back with a blank expression as fell like a statue.

"Aannnndddd right on cue." said Raven. Yang who had mastered pranking her Uncle countless times- revealed her almost maniacal laughter as both Summer and Ruby tried to make sure their Qrow was alright.

"Did you think we went to- MOM!?" asked Ruby, but found her mother almost tearing up as she frantically threw off her clothes to show off her topless self and pushed Qrow's hands to her chest.

"QROW?! WHAT'S WRONG? DID OUR PRACTICAL JOKE GO TO FAR!? PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE NOT DEAD AND CAN FEEL MY BOOBS. IT"S REALLY ME! SUMMER!"

"...I have a very weird Mom." said Ruby as she calmly processed this, before she quickly pushed her Mom away- For all intents and purposes, Qrow touched Ruby (In her mind).

"Ruby, don't do that! You're Uncle might be hurt!"

"I think you're going to traumatize me if you let him touch you since you and I look alike."

"BUT-" was all Summer could say before a slight cough from Raven, with her eyes in red fury. "...FINE."

Yang continued to devolve in the background, as Raven sighed and carried Qrow on her back.

"...To the Infirmary, again."

"...Raven?"

"...Yeah?"

"Tell me I didn't touch my Ace, and that I was hallucinating everything."

"Okay."

"Tell me I didn't touch Summer topless while she looked fifteen."

"Okay."

"Tell me that everything was because of the alcohol and I was just in the infirmary the entire time."

"Okay."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Why aren't you saying anything?"

"Because everything did happen- and you touched our daughter. I'm going to break your balls now."

"Don't. Touch. Me."

"As If I-"

"Because I'm doing it myself."

The final thing that happened that day, was Qrow self-inflicting a world-shattering wound as he broke his own balls with his flask as Raven watched him- impressed and mildly amused to make up for her daughter's own bad idea. As they say, whatever Ruby has thought off will always backfire. Even her unaffiliated target.

A/N: Have Fun.