Disclaimer: The following story is a work of fiction. The characters are borrowed from the CBS network show NCIS for personal entertainment purposes only. No profit is or shall be made from this fan tribute to the show which is owned by TPTB. Any resemblance to actual persons is purely coincidental.

Set in time: NCIS 2014/2015, sometime during season 12

Spoiler warning: Minor spoilers for seasons 1 to 12

Main characters: Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo, Leroy Jethro Gibbs

A/N: Tony writes about the mispronunciation of his name, and how he feels about it.

Say It Right

(by VG LittleBear/vglb)

Once in a while I get annoyed, and writing it all down helps me figure it out. I don't know if I'll ever show it to anyone else, but getting it off my chest helps me gain perspective.

I give my name as "Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo" when I meet someone new, other than the President. Not that I get to speak to the latter, well except once when I answered an orphaned cellphone the POTUS had called. But I passed the buck to Gibbs, so I didn't get to find out if or how my name is mangled by this very important person.

My family name gives me identity, and connects me to my ancestors, but through the years the formerly so familiar sound of my name dilutes and threatens to get lost in indifference. Each time I answer my phone, I fight to recapture Nonno's voice who proudly declared 'DiNozzo' to anyone listening. I'm proud of my Italian heritage, and I wish to keep the original sound of my name alive, untouched and pure.

Unfortunately, everyone has their own idea how to say my last name. In my opinion - and make no mistake about it, arrogantly rather than humbly - the only good pronunciation of my family name is:

Di - surprisingly, even before DiCaprio became a household name, this was never an issue.

Knots - sailing boats and knots go hand in hand, so why can't the boss pronounce it as I say it?

O - 'O sole mio', ahem, sorry. I like to sing along with 'Ol' Blue Eyes', and I'm not referring to my boss.

Contrary to Gibbs, Sinatra would have known how to say my name right. Gibbs does it his way, that's my boss! Pennsylvania born, he makes my name's double Z sound like a big fat S in 'summer'. Maybe the thunderclap of the Gibbs' slap represents his stab at the Italian pronunciation of the ZZ sound in my name? In the early days Gibbs did it often enough simultaneously, so maybe that is his insider joke (as in not sharing). For sure I didn't pay attention to the 'little ozzo' part in my name while my ears were ringing. Have you ever noticed how I grimace at the slaps? It's the association with my so-called name that has me cringe.

When we were just a two-men team, Gibbs often introduced the both of us, or at least introduced me to people he knew. Which is why so many of our colleagues got used to calling me TheNoseOh. I'm not sure I like the attention this gives to my poor nose. Damon Werth is just one of the guys who tried to reshape it. With how often he showed up in DC, lucky for him (and for yours truly) my nose still looks good, even if my name is bent out of shape.

Only once did Gibbs' pronunciation hit me just right. I was grinning all over my face when Gibbs called: "Book 'em, DANNOso!"

Gibbs pretends not to get my movie references, but once in a while he leaves me flabbergasted with a new one. That one was emblematic Hawaii Five-O. Then there's the one I'm still waiting for: 'That will be the day!' - Jenny never told me what she had said that caused Gibbs to quote the Duke right out of "She Wore a Yellow Ribbon". Maybe one day after watching John Wayne ride the prairie as Captain Brittles once again, I'll be buzzed enough to ask my favorite boss. Gibbs must know that film by heart; rule six is a quote from that one, too.

After I met Agent Afloat Stan Burly for the first time, I'd gotten a whole new perspective on having my name spoken the right way. Stan had been five years on Gibbs' team, and despite frequent reminders Gibbs had called him Steve for several of those years before acknowledging his true name. I can't guess what made me worthy of owning my name from day one. Or why Gibbs would take years to award Stan his. Was it because I was an experienced LEO when I met him? I've maintained for years that Gibbs knows everything, while Abby always said that he doesn't notice unimportant details. I just don't get how he can master so different languagues like Russian and Japanese, but completely disregard the correct pronunciation of a name. Though he might have an atrocious accent there, too. But there is that funny streak he hides so well. And when he smiles, you can't tell, as he most likely has a drat coffee cup hiding his face.

After all this time, Stan still calls him Boss, as do we. Unlike all the redheads the boss used to dazzle with his biblical name, he's not encouraging his team to use Jethro. I never understood why his parents named him Leroy Jethro until I met his namesake LJ. I learnt more about Gibbs' personal life when he jugged some tidbit to a suspect, than what he'd say in a normal conversation. I guess beyond his ladykiller personae he's shy, and really private about anything personal. I'll never forget when he spoke of 'my son Tony' during an undercover stint. I've treasured these words ever since.

My own father thought it was a good idea that there were two of us. Maybe he thought that with Senior tagged on to Anthony D. DiNozzo it sounded classy. He always delights in calling me Junior, which is just plain wrong, especially at an office where Junior Agents abound. I've asked Dad to abstain calling me Junior so many times, but I guess it's rooted too deep. So he gets to be Senior despite myself.

One of the few times I've had a good talk with my Dad, he admitted to being teased by some classmates as "TheNosy" - Kate would have been so delighted with that one! I'm glad she didn't ever think of it, or was too kind to hit me where I already suffered. DiNoisy would have been an obvious one too, but I guess Dad is too much the charmer for that. No doubt a certain blue steel eyed Marine would latch onto that one if he ever heard it. Or maybe he wouldn't. He has no trouble calling my favorite Probie by Elflord, but never have I heard McGeek, or McGoo from him, despite my best efforts to make these names synonyms for McGee.

I actually heard about another of my father's nicknames from Shmiel that first night he told me about meeting my father in Geneva, Switzerland. He was kind enough to wait for Ziva to take a break to powder her nose before revealing it. I had been exhausted that evening, so I could hardly be accused of being a nightowl, but it didn't astonish me in the least that my dad had aquired the nickname of DiNotte. Actually, that sounded pretty cool, and I'm sure he wasn't the first of our line to get it, seeing that it was pure Italian.

FBI was the first agency to have my name recorded on a report as DiNutso thanks to FBI Agent Ron Sacks, whom I'll forever call 'Slacks' in retaliation. However, his mistake with the nutty bit is entirely to blame on his boss. Upon hearing my name, Fornell quickly adopted the 'DiNutso' pronunciation. He got away with it, but he had learned more than cooking from his Italian nonna, and we both know it's wrong. I didn't dare play around with his last name, but my boss calls him Tobias, so Toby it is! That he hates Toby is a plus. While my name works as a pick-up line for the ladies - what could be cooler than 'Why not?', reversed Toby is a Y-bot. And doesn't that put you in mind of those machines cleaning up the floor? Hah!

Among the cacophony surrounding my name, who can blame me for taking it out on 'McNot Imaginative'? Frankly, with the constant downpouring of his nicknames, McGee should have come up with a dozen different versions of DiNozzo by now, but instead 'McPut Upon' shows up and sighs 'Tony'.

Well, at least everyone gets Tony right. Small favors, indeed!

- finis -

A/N: I've been sitting on this story, as I couldn't bear to work on it for a long time, when I heard the announcement that Mr. Weatherly was leaving the show. With Tony's father on the show in season 14, it's time for me to get on with it. On-screen or off, Tony will always be part of the NCIS lore.

Rule # 6 - Never apologize. It's a sign of weakness!

LEO - Law Enforcement Officer