I tapped my fingers against the table in thought. My P.A.D.D.'s brightness lit up my facial features in the dark. The request to transfer to another post glared. It sat incomplete. The thoughts of the captain's words echoed.

We will help you in any way we can to get through this.

I like the way you are.

My fingers ran through my already tossled curls. It felt like the burning sensation of our pressed lips haven't left. It still burns to touch. I chewed on my bottom lip then huffed a deep breath. I powered my P.A.D.D. down before pushing self off of the couch.

A couple of arguing voices caught my attention. A bleep notifying me there's someone at the door. I took in a deep breath to release my inner turmoil as the voices were starting to get louder. Heading to the door, I pushed the button to open the door. I crossed my arms seeing four men arguing.

"Spock, you need to tell her you don't want her to go-."

Spock interrupted, "It is ultimately her decision, doctor. And you should be helping her not me."

"Now hold on here, what are ye talkin' about? Where is Sara goin'?"

The only person who noticed the door opened turned to my person. A one-sided grin graced his face, "Hey there, T'Saraphina."

Those words stopped the arguments. I cleared my throat, "If you like to argue on my front step, then I suggest you take it to the mats at Star Fleet's gym. I rather not upset my neighbors from your bickering. Leave if you wish to continue your childish behavior."

Jim stepped forward to the entryway to show he is separating himself from the trio. I stepped back pointing a finger towards him, "No, you stay back. You got into my head. I'm not thinking clearly."

Spock immediately turned his focus to his captain. Scotty looked between his best friend and captain. Bones sighed rubbing his forehead, "What did you do, Jim?"

Jim ignored his other senior staff. He brought his voice low, "So you thought about it? You're not going to go through with it?"

The frustration haven't left. This only added to it. I reached for the button to close the door, "I only have half the mind to shut this door on you, captain. I suggest you get out of my entryway. All of you."

Bones piped up, "Woah there, missy. You and I have a breakfast session to get to."

My attention turned to the doctor. Before closing the door, I fumed, "Not today, doctor. Now all of you leave."

I pressed the button. The door smacked the captain in his shoulder. Bones pulled the captain out of the way to avoid the door coming back to hit him again. The door slid closed and clicked informing that it has been locked.

Spock's lips turned into a firm line and rounded towards his captain, "What did you do to her?"

Jim rubbed his shoulder with a wince. Spock stood straight to his full height, more so than normal, towering over the captain, "My sister is not someone you can play with."

Jim opened his mouth about to make a comeback but Bones smacked both of their heads. Bones scolded, "You two cost me a session with my patient. I was finally getting more out of her than a Vulcan ever would."

Scotty's lips went into a firm line. His eyes held hurt but concern towards the door of his best friend's residence. Bones growled out, "You two are idiots."

Bones stalked away from the trio. Spock's hair was lightly tousled from the head slap. Jim sent a glare towards Spock. Spock didn't seem to be done with his captain as he followed him out. Scotty took a moment before he knocked on his best friend's door, "Lass, it's me."

No answer.

Scotty tried again, " The three of them left. It's just me out here. Can ye let me in? We don't have to talk. We can just sit there and I can just be there as a comfortin' presence. I won't ask questions."

The door slid open revealing his friend hugging herself. I stepped to the side allowing the scotsman inside. The door slid closed behind him. Scotty took in my appearance. He didn't expect the Vulcan to wrap her arms around him. His arms hovered over my person unsure what to do. A light sniffle caught Scotty's attention. It didn't take long for him to wrap his arms around my person. He glanced down noticing my curls were messy and tangled. He whispered, "It's okay."

Scotty didn't dare to move. I listened to the steady breaths of my friend. I breathed out, "You've known me the longest, haven't you Scotty?"

The scotsman rubbed my back. Scotty answered, "Aye, that I have."

I buried my face into his shoulder. My words were mumbled, "Then you know how much I struggle with my emotions."

Scotty tapped my back to get my attention. He spoke softly, "What was that? I didn't hear you."

I pulled away from him wiping my cheeks clear of any droplets. I repeated, "Then you know how much I struggle with my emotions."

Scotty nodded cautiously. He spoke slowly, "Ayyyeee? That I do."

He is allowing me to guide the flow of the conversation. He was true to his word. I turned away heading to the kitchen. I poured a cup of green tea, "Would you like something to drink, Scotty?"

The scotsman didn't miss the way his friend calls him. He felt elated but this situation didn't call for it. He felt concern more. I called to him," Scotty?"

Scotty shook his head lightly to get his head back onto Earth. He cleared his throat, "Oh, sorry lass. Scotch?"

He heard a snort. I went through a cabinet, "Isn't it too early to drink?"

"It's never too early to have a glass of scotch, lass. Ye knoe that."

I nearly rolled my eyes pouring him a cup. I reappeared seeing Scotty taking a seat on the couch. I sat down next to him taking a sip of my tea.

It was a few moments before I decided to break the silence. I nursed my tea cup in my hands, "I... I am thinking about transferring to another position. I am unwell. I am sure by now the doctor have concluded I have post-traumatic stress disorder as well as body dysmorphic disorder. On a starship, I wouldn't be getting the help I would need. I'm going to go through with the suppression of emotions on a Vulcan sanctuary. It's logi-."

Scotty placed his cup of scotch down with a hard clink. He shook his head, "You say I've known you a long time. Aye, ye struggled with yer emotions. Aye, I've seen how others treat ye but ye've always came back stronger. This time ye might have some trouble and we, your crew, can help ye."

He reached over taking my hand into his. He gave it a gentle squeeze. Scotty advised, "Have you spoken with Spock?"

I opened my mouth to answer but Scotty shook his head, "Not your Spock."

I closed my mouth shaking my head. Scotty pulled my hand up as he stood up, "Alright, let's make a trip then. I heard from a wee bird he should be on planet to help with some Vulcan survivors who are still on planet."

I asked, "How did you find out? A little bird wouldn't be able to give you this information."

Scotty tilted his head side to side while pursing his lips, "A wee bird, lass. Now let's get a move on. I'll help ye with yer hair because it looks like a rat's nest."

I placed my tea cup down and gave a light smack to his upper arm, "That is an insult if I don't know any better."

Scotty's lips turned upward, "I'm only tellin' the truth. I don't think ye want ye're brotha from a different time to see ye like this."

My lips turned downward. Scotty saw my reaction and gave a nod, "Alright. Let's go."

Scotty decided to keep my hair down. He claims it to give them a break from the constant up-style. Scotty placed a hand on my back to guide me to where the remaining Vulcans resided on Earth. Scotty wouldn't tell his friend he merely saw the alternate Spock on a whim while passing by. He spoke with him to be sure it was who he thought the Vulcan was. Scotty saw the familiar head of the Vulcan, "Oi, Ambassador!"

Spock Prime turned around to the sound of his title being called. Spock Prime saw the two walking towards him. He excused himself from a couple Vulcans. Spock Prime met the two of us halfway, "It's been a while, T'Saraphina. Nice to see you again, Mr. Scott."

Scotty gave a nod but then gave my person a light push forward, "Go on, lass."

I glanced at my alternate older brother before looking away. Vulcan children were interacting with human children. Spock Prime raised an eyebrow, "T'Saraphina is there something the matter?"

Seeing the two different species of children interact with each other made me feel nostalgic. Scotty cleared his throat, "Sara."

I blinked turning my attention back to the two men. I asked, "Is there a place we can speak privately?"

Spock Prime held out his hand to show the way, "My temporary quarters should suffice."

Scotty gave a nod as he started to watch his friend and the alternate Spock start walking away. I paused in my walk feeling something or rather someone missing. I turned around seeing Scotty not following and actually started to head the opposite way. I called out to him, "Scotty. Aren't you coming?"

Scotty turned around hearing his name. He pointed to himself, "Me? I thought the two of ye want to speak alone."

Spock Prime felt he saw his true sister and their engineer once again.

"Scotty, you know I wouldn't ask unless I felt-."

"Don't have to ask me, lass. I'll go with cha. I can't leave my best engineering friend by herself. Who'd protect her? Spock? Jim?"

T'Saraphina laughed, "I know my best friend knows he himself can accompany me but should also know if the need of my husband or brother to arise they would be more than capable like himself."

Scotty placed a hand to his heart as if he was wounded, "Ye wound me, lass. Now how stuffy are these Vulcan engineers?"

T'Saraphina scrunched up her nose with a smile, "Stuffier than Spock."

Spock heard the last bit when he walked into the mess, "T'Saraphina, I beg your pardon?"

His sister pushed herself up grabbing her food tray. She stuck out her tongue at her brother, "Oh nothing, Spock. Just discussing with Mr. Scott our trip to the Vulcan ship we are to meet with in a couple days time."

Spock eyed his sister suspiciously. He wouldn't tell his sister he heard her and Scotty's conversation before deciding to enter the mess.

Scotty caught up with the two. Scotty made sure to let the two Vulcans know, "I'll be a fly on a wall. Ye won't know I'm there."

A small tug of my lips went upward.

Spock Prime and I stared at each other in his quarters. I finally broke the silence, "I am thinking of going through with Kolinahr."

Spock Prime's brows raised up in surprise. He asked, "What made you think of this decision?"

I glanced over at Scotty who gave a pair of thumbs up to encourage me. I replied, "I rather not feel emotions. The doctor more or less have already concluded I have post-traumatic stress disorder and body dismophic disorder. Serock have done more damage to my person mentally than physically. There would be times I'd be okay with touches even the slightest bump. And then there would be times I cannot be near anyone for risk of them touching me. I feel this setback will hinder my pursuit of a relationship in the future as well as my duty to Star Fleet."

Scotty's eyes widened at this new found information. Both of us waited what seemed like an eternity for Spock Prime to speak.

Spock Prime finally spoke, "I see how you feel this would be a setback. I feel I should tell you of what have happened to me."

My brows furrowed. I felt the rise to ask about him but that would be redundant. I pushed the feeling down. Spock Prime explained, " After I have retired from Star Fleet, I started the ritual. However by the time I was to finalize the final stage of Kolinahr, I was receiving telepathic signals. These signals were produced by an entity. The elders told me the entity stirred my human half and I would not achieve my goal with them. Even to this day, I do not hold regret in not completing my ritual. My human side has come handy in certain situations which I am glad."

I clasped my fingers together placing them infront of my lips. Spock Prime added, "I understand what you may be going through. The emotion of hopelessness, pessimism, and worthlessness. I too had felt such emotions once before. However, with the correct help you can over come it as well. It's not wise to suppress emotions and keep them inside especially during a high emotion time such as this."

Scotty crossed his arms giving a nod in agreement. He didn't think it would be wise to add in. My shoulders sagged downward. I rubbed my face. I let out a light groan, "I don't want to feel like this. It's frustrating. I want to live a normal life. I don't want people to tip toe around me. I'm not fragile nor do I want to be. I'm the daughter of a Vulcan Ambassador and strong human woman. I'm a Star Fleet senior officer in the engineering department."

My voice started to raise and filled with frustration and anger. I continued, "I shouldn't be like this! I have my duty to the Federation! To Star Fleet! And to myself!"

I grabbed a couple books resting on the table. I went to throw them but Scotty quickly went for them. He scolded, "Ah, no we don't lass. If ye got some anger in ya, then ya should hit the gym like you do."

I released the books having them fall into Scotty's hands. While he was at placing them far away from me, he also grabbed anything else that can be thrown. Spock Prime sipped his tea, "I see your emotions are high. If I must ask for the safety of yourself, are you about to go through Pon Faar? You don't have to-."

I felt blood rush to my ears and cheeks. It was still embarrassing and highly secretive to talk about with each other. I cleared my throat, "Yes, I have. I was able to find a suitable person."

Scotty's brows furrowed together in confusion as he sat back down. Scotty opened and closed his mouth wondering if he should ask what this pon faar is. I moved my hair behind my pointed ear. Spock Prime looked amused as much a Vulcan can. Spock Prime thought to put in his thought, "I highly suggest, T'Saraphina you do not go through that ritual. It's imperative for you to keep yourself the way you are. Both sides of you, of us compliment with each other. Think on it. I am sure if I was your brother, I would keep it not on the surface but know If I were him I wouldn't want you to change the way you are and we would work together. I am sure the rest of the senior officers would have the same thought process. A crew is family, is it not?"

Scotty stood up, "Aye ya damn right it is. Sara, you're not alone in this. Spock, Bones and even Jim will have your side during this time."

Spock Prime stood up. The two other occupants stood up as well. I gave a light bow of my head, "Thank you, Spock."

Spock Prime raised his hand up and gave the Vulcan salute. I raised my own in return, "Live long and prosper."

Before Spock Prime placed his hand down, I surprised the elder with me hugging his person. I nuzzled my face into his robes. He smelled similar to my brother but he had a hint of fresh water scent. Spock Prime released his Vulcan salute to place his hands around his alternate sister. His chin rested ontop of my head. Scotty looked away to let the two have a moment. I pulled away, "Thank you, Spock. I'll remember this conversation. I'll see you again."

Scotty placed a hand on my shoulder as I started to turn away from Spock Prime. Scotty gave an appreciative nod to the elder. The older Vulcan returned the nod.