A/N: I know this is your typical High school AU fanfiction, but I was interested in this idea so I hope people like this.

edit: Repost to fix a mistake I made. Sorry guys

Chapter 1: Do I Even Matter?

The name is Yuri Katsuki, I'm 16 years old and currently in High school. Most people would probably assume I'd be that typical dork who has a crush on a beautiful girl that's beyond my league. Well, that's not how my story is going. I have no interest in women. I once thought I did since I used to have a crush on my childhood friend, Yuko. Unfortunately, things never worked out between me and her. It wasn't until I laid eyes on a certain someone that I realized what I really am interested in.

He's tall, with short silver hair covering one eye. His blue crystal eyes are probably to die for; never did I ever question my sexuality until I laid eyes on him. Yes, that's right. I'm interested in a guy named Victor Nikiforov. The thing is, I've never gotten the courage to talk to him before. I highly thought he's into men anyway, so I have little to no chances at getting him within my grasp. For now, I just stick to admiring him from a distance. He's always involved in school events, he's at the top of his class, and of course girls fawned over him left and right. For all I know, he has a new girlfriend every night.

Me? Get together with someone like that? Yeah right, impossible. Even less likely with the fact that there's been a rumor swimming around about my sexuality. I have no idea who started it, but people around here don't take being gay lightly. I've gotten nothing but hostility over it. I've tried to deny it countless times, but I always end up getting beaten up in the end. The only people I really hang out around is my childhood friend Yuko, and my foreign friend Phichit. They were pretty much the only ones accepting of me, and honestly it didn't really matter if I had only a few friends. That's pretty much all I needed.

''Yuri, you're all bruised up again!'' Yuko showed concern when lightly dabbed the cuts on my face with alcohol pads in the school's infirmary, I flinched from the stinging sensation.

I couldn't really bring myself to make eye contact, lately this whole thing has just been making me really depressed. So what if I like what I like? Why should it matter to anyone else? ''Well you know, people like me don't deserve to exist. I'm worthless….'' It took everything in me to hold back tears.

''Don't say that!'' Yuko suddenly yelled, startling me. ''Some people are just judgmental jerks, there's nothing wrong with you! You matter just like the rest of us!'' it was times like these that I was grateful I had her as a friend. She didn't care about what I am. The thing is, no matter how many times she would tell me, I still couldn't help but have thoughts if someone like me was really worth something.

''If that's true…'' I covered my eyes with the back of my hand as I felt the tears stinging at my eyes, I tried desperately to choke back those tears but they fought back even more. ''Why does everyone continue to beat me up just because I'm gay? I… I don't understand.''

This wasn't the first time I broke down in front of Yuko, just like this wasn't the first time I ended up in the infirmary. Being who I am, it was just a never-ending battle. Yuko and Phichit always stood by my side though, they continued to defend me left and right.

Yuko sighed, knowing her words were meaningless and would only make the situation worst. ''Yuri…'' she was about to speak when she heard the door open, and quickly silenced herself. When we both looked, my heart stopped. I swallowed, and quickly wiped the tears from my eyes with my arm.

''Was I intruding on something between you two?'' Victor Nikiforov of all people walked in on one of my worst moments, and he was chuckling, amused. Clearly he didn't understand what was going on. I just couldn't help staring at him, practically in a daze. I don't think I've been this close to him before, nor have I had any chance to say a word to him.

''O-Oh n-no we were just… I just… we were just—'' Damnit, I just had to go and screw up by getting flustered. My cheeks were literally burning up. He was literally walking art, how could anyone look that good?

''Sorry, Yuri was just upset and I was trying to calm him down.'' Yuko said wholeheartedly, realizing how nervous I was getting around the Russian. ''Is there anything you need Victor?''

I couldn't help being jealous at how casually Yuko was able to talk to him, meanwhile I was a blubbering mess. We hadn't made eye contact, but I couldn't get my eyes off of him. Luckily his attention was currently on Yuko beside me.

''Yeah, I cut myself during culinary class and need a little first aid.'' He revealed the cut on his palm, his gaze drifted over to me who was currently staring at him and I quickly turned away.

''Woah!'' Yuko eyes widened a bit, then she gazed over at me who was obviously flustered. I had yet to notice that little smile she wore, an idea obvious had swooned into her head. ''Yuri, go get the first aid kit and tend to his cut I need to quickly head to the ladies' room.''

''Huh?'' I snapped out of my daydream and saw Yuko smiling and waving before rushing out the infirmary. Was… Was she serious? Did she not know the way I felt about this guy?

I stared horrified when she left out the door, and felt my hands suddenly tremble. My heart was beating faster than usual. I glanced quickly over at Victor who blinked silently, staring back at me. I hurriedly looked away, not having the courage to even look him in the eye.

Just get this over with quickly Yuri, get this over with quickly…

I grabbed the first aid kit, and stood up walking towards Victor. Never did I make an effort to make eye contact, my eyes remained on the first aid kit in my hands. Of course my hands were shaking from my increasing anxiety. When I stood in front of Victor, it felt as if my whole body was boiling. Cheeks flaring with heat.

Placing the first aid on the table beside both of us, I opened it up and took out an alcohol pad. Grabbing his wounded hand I placed it on top of the cut. Again, my hands were still trembling. I could only imagine how Victor was thinking of me in that moment. Thinking how pathetic I look.

''—Is there some reason you won't look me in the eye?'' Victor suddenly said, within the dead silence that had previously enveloped us both. I froze, not knowing how to respond to that. Biting my bottom lip, I gained some courage and looked up at him.

He only seemed more good looking up close, it was like living a dream. Is this what it felt like when people met their favorite celebrity? It felt that way to me right now.

Victor smiled at me, which only led to my cheeks to burn even hotter if possible. I quickly looked away again, and just proceeded to wrap his hand in bandages.

''If you don't mind me asking, where did you get all those cuts and bruises on your face.'' When he asked that, I stopped wrapping his hand long enough to contemplate answering the question. Yeah, like I was really going to tell Victor Nikiforov that I got my ass kicked because I was gay. Not even I was that stupid.

''I fell.'' I quietly answered, finishing the bandaging. ''There, I'm finished.''

''Thank you Yuri—'', before I could receive any type of gratitude, I rushed out of the infirmary. If I stood in there alone with him any longer, I was seriously going to lose it. Never have I ever been that close to Victor before. Not to mention I was an emotional wreck. He's probably thinking right now, about how pathetic of a person I am.

Even if it's true, I really am pathetic. Ever since the rumor about me being gay has gotten out, I've only just gotten more and more depressed. People have begun treating me differently, aside from my friends everyone else began looking at me in disgust. Some didn't care for the rumors, and then there were those who felt obligated to beat on me because of the rumor. It's gotten to a point where there's times when I'm too afraid to come to school, I'm only in school currently because Yuko kept persisting me over the phone.

What's the point? My grades have started declining, I used to be an straight A+ student but now I'm actually considering dropping school altogether. Maybe work in a fast food place, or just move far away from here. Somewhere with strangers that had no idea who I was, just isolate myself from the whole world.

I ran into the boys' bathroom, and locked myself in one of the stalls. Like usual, I cried. I just let myself breakdown. ''I'm so pathetic, I'm so damn pathetic!'' I yelled repeatedly, tears running rapidly down my face. My voice cracked as I sobbed, not even making an effort to see if anyone else was in the bathroom. I buried my face in my palms and just continued bawling.

''Why does life keep screwing me over? What did I ever do to deserve this?''

I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket, but right now I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. It was currently last period so maybe if I stood put here long enough, I wouldn't have to encounter anymore people and just head home. Then lock myself in my room for the next few centuries.

Hearing the door open, I let out a small gasp and clasped both hands over my mouth in an effort to shut myself up.

''Man, that girl I was going after has the hots for Nikiforov.'' I heard one of them say,

There was a laugh towards it, ''Looks like you ain't got a chance, every girl is on that pretty boy's ass.''

''I really don't see what's so great about him.'' Well looks like these guys are jealous, it isn't very surprising to hear Victor has some haters.

''If anything, I'd totally go for that guy if I was a girl.''

''You don't know how gay that sounded..'' One of those commented in disgust, I couldn't help but wince at the comment.

''Yeah true, my bad.''

''Speaking of which, where's that Katsuki kid? I'm in the mood for some entertainment.'' Damnit, they knew who I was. It was probably some of the guys that kept beating on me before. No, this can't be happening. I can't do anything if these guys are in here, what if they notice me? I'm screwed, I'm screwed. This is NOT happening right now.

''Haven't seen him since we put one on him earlier.'' They both started laughing,

''Yeah, the least that piece of trash can do is give us something to do to pass the time.''

I couldn't help hyperventilating, my nerves were getting the better of me. I had to try my best to be quiet, but my fears were eating me alive. They couldn't do anything to me if I was inside here, but that still didn't make me any less afraid. Damnit, damnit, damnit. Just leave, leave already!

When the bell finally rang, I couldn't feel more relieved. I heard their footsteps going out the door, and I let out a sigh of relief. They were gone, he could go home. That was a close call, even if his self esteem withered by just hearing their conversation. People were not accepting of others that were different, that's just the society we live in. If anything, I'd prefer living in America where people like me were treated more fairly. It's a dream I'll have, but most likely never achieve.

When I stepped out of the bathroom, I inhaled then exhaled. I felt a lot better now that all those emotions were out of my system. The only thing was that I had this odd feeling that someone was staring at me. Looking behind, from side to side, I didn't see anything. Then I looked in front of me, finding Victor staring at me with an intent gaze.

My heart jumped out my chest, and suddenly all the blood in my body seemed to rush up to my face. ''T-The bathroom's empty if that was what you wanted…'' I stared awkwardly at my feet, then scurried off because dear god I wasn't worthy enough to even be in the same room as this guy. Like those two delinquents said in the bathroom, I'm a piece of trash.

''Wait, Yuri.'' He knew my name, the guy I'm head over heels for knows my freaking name. Damnit, why did my feet decide to stop the minute I heard his voice? I couldn't help it.

Turning my head to look towards the silver haired Russian, ''Y-Yes?'' of course I stumbled over my words like an idiot.

''Do you mind if we can talk for a second?'' he asked nonchalantly, the smile he wore seemed genuine but I wasn't exactly sure what his motive was for talking to me. Maybe he found out about the rumor and wanted to ask me directly, then treat me like I'm lesser than a human being like everyone else, or he wanted to continue to ask about the bruises on my face. Either way, it was too risky. Besides, it'd be bad for his reputation if he was seen with trash like me. Whether he saw me as less of a human being or not, I still looked up to him and was in love with this man so I wouldn't risk it. I don't want him to know anything about me. Having Victor Nikiforov of all people put me down would be the end for me.

''I-I have to go, maybe some other time.'' Before Victor could say another word I rushed to my locker, and quickly got all my stuff, shoving it into my backpack, then went on home. Hopefully I wouldn't bump into anyone, and would just be in peace for once.

My phone began vibrating in my pocket, which meant it was ringing. I had ignored it earlier, so maybe it was better to answer it this time. Taking it out of my pocket, I saw it was Phichit. Sighing, I answered it.

''Yeah, what's up Phichit-kun?''

''Yuri, you ignored my texts from earlier!'' He whined, almost as if it was obvious he was pouting on the other end.

''Sorry, I was a little distracted.'' Yeah, while hiding in the bathroom like a worthless human being.

''Well, I have a party this weekend and I wanted to make sure you were coming or not.''

I blinked a few times, a party? Is he not aware that half of the school hates me? ''I don't think that's such a good idea-''

''Don't worry, it's not a huge party. And I only invited people I know wouldn't mess with you, so can you come?''

It was actually an interesting idea, I didn't really do anything over the weekend so maybe. Closing my eyes, I contemplated going or not. Should I? If it's a small party then it shouldn't be too bad. ''Alright.'' For the first time during this crappy, hell of a day I smiled. ''I'll go.''