I think at this point it's very obvious that I am very fond of the Reincarnation cliché. And the Tsuna Has Twin(s) cliché.
So, here goes.
Summary: Reborn would like to say that he doesn't prefer ANY of the three potential candidates for the Vongola Decimo position. Iemitsu spawn the lot of them are. And each is no better than the other.
OR: In which three Tsunayoshis from different alternate realities reincarnate into the world of KHR.
Warnings: Language, OOC (like really OOC), the segments jump from one part to another- don't be surprised, this has no purpose whatsoever, don't expect to read a well-thought out fic with meaningful plot or characterization, unless it happens accidently, or the mood strikes, Shameless Self-Indulgence, Artistic License: Babies, What Are Even Weapons Used By Delinquents.
Disclaimer: I really don't own KHR.
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The Birth of the Tsu-kuns
Sawada Nana leaned back in her bed in exhaustion.
She had been rushed into the hospital hours before when she had entered labor. Now, after hours of grueling wait and pain (and breaking her husband's arm, she vaguely recalled), she delivered three healthy baby boys.
The doctor gave her the first, and eldest, son.
Nana cooed at him as he cried, eyes screwed shut, "I'll name this one Ietsuna. Welcome to the family, Tsu-kun."
Ietsuna calmed down a bit.
Off to the side, Iemitsu did not dare to interrupt his wife's first mother-son bonding or mention how he didn't get to join in picking out a name for his eldest son. He merely stood cradling his broken arm and crying manly tears of happiness (and pain, he didn't know his sweet Nana had such a strong grip).
The doctor gave Nana the second, and middle, child.
Nana smiled at her calm son's curious expression, "Hello there, little Natsuyoshi. My lovely Tsu-kun."
Iemitsu opened his mouth to complain about the two kids being given the same nickname before he wisely closed it again as the pain in his arm reminded him again of why he shouldn't interrupt his wife.
The doctor gave Nana the last child.
She giggled alongside her youngest boy's adorable giggles, "And this one will be Tsunayoshi. Welcome, Tsu-kun."
Nana gathered her three children together, "I love you all so, so much, my adorable Tsu-kuns."
Iemitsu smiled and wondered if he could now safely insert himself into the happy family moment.
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Reborn's First Thoughts on the Matter:
Reborn settled himself in one of his recently-made hideouts in Namimori and took out the files on the three civilian candidates to the position of Vongola Decimo.
They were the last candidates. They were civilians. They were triplets. They were Iemitsu spawn.
And Reborn was to train them equally and then decide which one of the three was the best candidate for the position.
Reborn was going to murder Iemitsu for this. He'd probably prank the living hell out of Nono while he was at it, too.
Looking through the files, Reborn pondered.
The youngest was Sawada Tsunayoshi. He was an adorable, fluffy ball of innocence and sunshine and rainbows and everything cute. Everyone adored him.
He also had a sadistic streak a mile wide and a heart of the blackest there was. Truly, a person after Reborn's heart; were the two to meet under different circumstances that was.
The middle child was Sawada Natsuyoshi. He was a mature, dependable person who received the respect and admiration of the people around him and landed the position of student council president on the start of his first year of middle school.
He also had unhealthy interest in black magic, a collection of hair strands from hundreds of people that was meticulously arranged and well-cared for and well-honed skills in stalking.
The eldest was Sawada Ietsuna. The town's number one delinquent with control over every gang in and out of town (Yakuza included).
He was also, secretly, a major softie on the inside with a weakness to strays.
Physically?
The three were fucking identical. From the wild hairs on their heads to the sizes of their toes.
What did Iemitsu do?! Clone them?!
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Gokudera Enters
When Gokudera entered the classroom to be introduced to the class, he immediately scanned the room for the three Decimo candidates.
His eyes first caught the youngest, Sawada Tsunayoshi, who was beaming at him, completely surrounded by a pink glow, sparkles and flowers.
Gokudera's right eye twitched. Was it just him or was the Sawada's youngest brat giving him a calculating look?
He moved onto the middle child, Sawada Natsuyoshi, who was giving him a warm, welcoming smile.
Gokudera repressed a shiver as he felt Sawada's eyes rove his body. He made a mental note to triple check all possible entryways and exits in his apartment, make a thorough sweep for bugs and sleep with an eye open and a weapon under his pillow.
Then he caught the eyes of the last and elder Sawada bastard.
Who gave him a once over before looking dismissively out of a window.
Gokudera felt a vein throb in his forehead.
Who did the bastard think he was?!
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Gokudera made his way to the eldest Sawada bastard, whom he told to meet him after classes.
This was it; he was going to challenge the arrogant civilian into a fight for the position of Vongola Decimo. Not that the position mattered to Gokudera (he couldn't really become Decimo), but if he could rough the bastard a 'bit' then he'd happily do it.
The Vongola Decimo position didn't matter to the bastard, but he had a temper, Gokudera had noted earlier in class. He planned to gaud him and make him angry.
As Gokudera brandished his dynamites, he saw the bastard's eyes narrow. It seemed that pissing him off would be even easier than Gokudera thought.
Sawada growled, "You smuggled dynamites into Hibari's school?! And he hasn't confiscated them yet?! He always sniffs out my brass knuckles, nail bats and even my shivs and shanks!"
Gokudera faltered for the slightest bit. Was this guy really a civilian? Well, no matter. He'll still proceed with the fight.
Gokudera started with a simple throw of half a dozen dynamites. Sawada evaded them while defusing them, growling about Hibari, damage to the school building in his presence and pains in the ass.
Gokudera narrowed his eyes and proceeded with a Double Bomb. Sawada avoided this one as well while defusing it. Gokudera was begrudgingly the slightest bit impressed.
And pissed off.
He decided to try out his newest trick, the Triple Bomb. Sawada stared at him, eyebrow raised.
Yeah! That's right, you bastard! Be impressed!
Unfortunately for Gokudera, his moment of gaining an edge ended all too soon as his fingers fumbled with the amount of dynamite that they weren't used to yet and the dynamite fell from his hands. Gokudera stared numbly at the dynamite at his feet as the spark travelled closer and closer across the fuse and towards-
Something yanked him from the collar of his shirt and leaped away from the explosives, taking him with it.
Gokudera stared up at Sawada who was still grabbing Gokudera from his collar. A detached part of him noted that he was being carried like a cat.
Sawada scowled at him, "Oi, kitten. That was dangerous. You could have killed yourself."
Gokudera continued to stare. Blood started to rush towards Sawada's cheeks as he averted his face, "Not like I care or anything! But it would have been a waste of someone of your skills. You have a lot of potential, kitten."
"You saved me… I… I WAS MISTAKEN! I'LL FOLLOW YOU ANYWHERE!"
His savior looked contemplative for a moment, the blush leaving his cheeks. Then he nodded, as if coming to a decision, "Call me 'Boss', kitten."
Gokudera beamed.
Boss stared at him, a slight blush returning to his cheeks before he tucked Gokudera into his side, holding him there with an arm and causing Gokudera to turn a fetching shade of red at the action.
"Let's get back before Hibari comes to bitch."
From where he was hiding in a tree, Reborn considered the whole thing a success.
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A few days later…
Ietsuna entered his house and looked around; he only saw Tsunayoshi watching TV and eating popcorn with Reborn in the living room.
"Oi, Creepy Sparkles, have you seen the Kitten?"
Tsunayoshi blinked at him, "Ah, Big Brother Tsun-Tsun! When the Kitten came here looking for you, Big Brother Stalker Witch took him upstairs."
Ietsuna stormed upstairs, scowling and growling, "SAWADA FUCKING NATSUYOSHI! YOU BETTER NOT HAVE CORRUPTED MY KITTEN OR ELSE I'LL FUCKING RIP OUT YOUR INTESTINES AND SHOVE THEM DOWN YOUR THROAT! YOU HEAR ME-!"
Ietsuna's threats and curses became more and more graphic and colorful as he gathered more steam and grew even angrier. There were muffled sounds of his footsteps and him banging a door open and rummaging around in one of the rooms. Reborn estimated that it was Natsuyoshi's room.
The sound of footsteps came back again as Ietsuna stomped down the stairs, growling and clutching a paper in his hands before storming out of the house.
Tsunayoshi relaxed back in his seat and picked up the TV's remote. He fiddled with it for a few moments before he started to punch in the buttons.
The wall behind the TV rotated to show a group of monitors, each monitor showing a different location. Reborn focused on the two that showed the two people he knew Ietsuna stormed out the house to look for.
Natsuyoshi was unconscious, gagged and tied to a pole. And dressed in a bunny costume. Gokudera was similarly unconscious and gagged, but he was lying on a bed, bound to its headboard and dressed in a maid outfit with cat ears and a tail.
"It's race to see who will find the Kitten and Big Brother Stalker Witch first, Big Brother Tsun-Tsun or the Angry Bird."
Tsunayoshi giggled as he settled to watch. Reborn amended his first impression about the job; maybe things won't be too boring around the Sawada triplets.
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Yamamoto's Suicide Attempt
Reborn watched blankly as Yamamoto stood at the edge of the roof, various students stood on the roof, nervously calling out to Yamamoto to step away from the edge.
On top of the stairwell roof were three people. Tsunayoshi sat at the edge, feet dangling and watching curiously with a camera at his side to record the commotion. Ietsuna was napping on a flustered Gokudera's lap.
Among the students, Natsuyoshi was the most vocal and closest to the fence which Yamamoto stood behind. Natsuyoshi was begging Yamamoto to get away from the edge, really begging. He was even teary-eyed and on the verge of crying as he stared at Yamamoto's face. Or rather, what everyone else assumed was Yamamoto's face; Reborn just knew that Natsuyoshi was staring at Yamamoto's hair and that the prospect of something happening to the hair after the fall terrified him more than the idea of a student committing suicide during his reign as student council president. Reborn had no idea that Natsuyoshi was this much of a hair fetishist.
Taking the triplets in again, Reborn decided: Vongola was better off without any of them.
Natsuyoshi managed to convince Yamamoto to step away (Reborn noted that it was more because of Natsuyoshi's teary, glaring eyes that promised untold horrors and tortures to befall Yamamoto should he jump). Unfortunately, the fence chose the moment in which Yamamoto leaned on it to climb over to break.
Yamamoto looked shocked as he fell backwards. Natsuyoshi gave an unholy shriek that rattled the panes of the windows of the school building and leaped after him.
There was a surge of- of something and the colors of the surroundings turned negative for one, heart-stopping moment before everything returned to normal.
A loud yell came from the ground, "YAMAMOTO!"
"I'M SORRY!"
Then a growl, "Herbivores."
"Oh, it's just Hibari."
"Yamamoto, I just saved your life don't go throwing it away seconds later."
"Herbivore, you are standing too close to the seitokaichou. I'll bite you to death."
Reborn was a bit impressed, he never expected Natsuyoshi to jump after Yamamoto. At least there were some redeeming qualities for his students.
"That was interesting." Tsunayoshi commented as he checked the recording on his camera.
Well, for most of his students.
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A Shark Goes Down
Yamamoto grabbed onto Squalo, making the long-haired swordsman lean on him. It wasn't only for his, Yamamoto's, sake that he was saving Squalo; it was also for him.
For Natsuyoshi.
Unfortunately, things didn't go as Yamamoto planned starting from the moment the platform the two were standing on crumbled, bringing them closer to the shark lurking in the water, and Squalo kicked him away and onto safety.
"NO! I can't let you die here! I CAN'T!"
"You should get rid of that naivety of yours."
"No! You don't understand what will happen if you die!"
Then the shark lunged at Squalo and the two disappeared into the water that was starting to become red with blood.
"Squalo!"
There was a moment of shocked silence.
Then two voices rose at the same time.
"AHAHAHAHA! The trash went and became fish food!"
"NOOOOO! SILVERLOCKS! COME BACK DON'T DIE! SILVERLOCKS! Imma… Imma kiLl tHaTshArK."
The rest of the Varia stared.
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In Which A Mafia Boss Pops Out of A Machine… Thing
When Vongola Nono came out of the Gola Mosca, the mismatched group that was thrown together to participate as the Varia's opposition in the ring battles gathered around him in curiosity.
"Oh my god! Make way, I'm coming through!"
The group instinctively parted to allow Tsunayoshi closer to Nono after hearing the urgency in his voice. Tsunayoshi took out a camera and began recording, "It's not every day that the Vongola Nono is dying in front of me; I'll be damned if I don't get an up-close shot of it. You can continue dying, Nono."
"Well," Ietsuna grunted, bored, "He's an old man. He's bound to die eventually."
"For me, I don't see what the big deal is." Natsuyoshi crossed his arms, "Old man, old hair. Doesn't matter to me. If you're that attached to him to make a recording of his death, I can always reanimate his corpse for you to try different ways to die on him. He's an old man with boring, old-man-gray hair, murdering him then reanimating his corpse only to kill it again in a different way is the only amusement I can get out of him."
Once again, the Varia stared. Reborn looked at Nono, "You should just make Xanxus Decimo."
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End
Ietsuna refers to Tsunayoshi as Creepy Sparkles and Natsuyoshi as Creepy Stalker.
Tsunayoshi refers to Ietsuna as Big Brother Tsun-Tsun (for his Tsundere tendencies) and to Natsuyoshi as Big Brother Stalker Witch (because he is both a stalker and a witch). And to Hibari as the Angry Bird.
Natsuyoshi usually calls both his brothers 'Tsuna' for shits and giggles. On rare occasions, he calls Tsunayoshi 'Holy Shit' and Ietsuna 'Bloody Hell'.