Ever since Yuuri started training in Russia, he and Victor have been attached at the hip. Yuri decides that something must be done. Rated T. [Romance][Humour][Family]

From just outside of the rink, Yuri watched the couple on the other side of the ice, his nose scrunched up in disgust and his eyes narrowed while Mila and Georgi swooned beside him. Mila thought they were so cute together. Georgi was a hopeless romantic so he similarly loved their flirting. Yuri just felt this constant nausea when he saw them. Ugh, they're doing it again..., he thought, one blond eyebrow twitching impatiently. Where was Yakov when you needed him to break those two up?

"Yuuri, that quad flip was superb!"

"Haha, thanks! By the way, was that your new program?"

"It sure was~. I'm going for a sexier image this season – not quite like Christophe, but something a little spicier than last season."

"Haha... Yeah... I, uh, definitely noticed..."

"Oh, you did, did you?"

"Yeah... You looked amazing..."

"Well then, since I know how much you love to watch, Yuuri, maybe I can give you a better look later..."

"Oh really? A private session? Sounds like fun."

"Only for you~"

"But I dunno~. Coach Yakov doesn't like when I talk to you, much less watch you skate..."

"Coach Yakov isn't here."

"Hahaha, you're bad..."

"But you love it."

Suddenly, a pair of red skate guards impacted with the back of Victor's grey head, rather lightly bouncing off of him before landing on either side of the Russian man on the ice. From behind him, Yuri Plisetsky had re-entered the rink and skated close enough to chuck the objects at his rinkmate, face red with fury. Georgi and Mila stood a ways away, watching the scene with surprised looks on their faces.

"GET A ROOM YOU TWO!" screamed the youngest skater of the bunch. "I'M SO TIRED OF WATCHING YOU TWO CHASE EACH OTHER AROUND HERE LIKE DOGS IN HEAT!"

Although he was in the perfect angle to see Yuuri K.'s face just past Victor's shoulder, Yuri P. didn't notice the Japanese man jump back a little, his eyes widening with slight terror as he watched at his boyfriend's shifting expression until it was too late. Victor, whose back was turned to the brash young man, slowly rotated, his skates moving with as much ease as if he were born and raised upon the ice. Although his movements reflected beauty and grace, his face said something else entirely. Yuri almost whimpered underneath his smiling blue eyes. To anyone who didn't know Victor, there would have been nothing dangerous about his expression at all. Actually, he looked quite like his usual chipper self. Only those who had spent as much time with Victor as his rinkmates had could see the sinister glint in his oceanic eyes. Yuri's bravado staggered suddenly at the sight of it, and he was subconsciously shrinking back, his expression turning a little sheepish as his ego fought the primal urge to run.

"Uh oh, Yurio," Victor said in a deceptively sweet voice which was somewhere between a mother gently scolding her toddler and a horror movie serial killer taunting their victim before they snap. Mila and Georgi pressed their bodies against the half walls of the rink in fear.

Yuuri made little reaching gestures toward his boyfriend's shoulders in a feeble attempt to hold him away from the boy. "Eh, Victor...?"

But Victor did not hear Yuuri. Instead, he just kept talking in that cloyingly saccharine sort of way and slowly approaching the younger skater. "That's not a happy face~"

Yuri fought the urge to shiver at his poisonous honeyed tone and displayed fury in his features once again. "W-what the hell are you doing!?" he demanded, silently cursing himself for the stutter. "Keep away from me, Victor!"

But Victor continued to advance, still smiling pleasantly like a demon in sheep's clothing. "Let's turn that frown upside-down!"

It was so fast. Yuri didn't even see it coming. Without warning, Victor had picked up speed and closed the short gap between them. In one swift move, he pulled the teen into a bear hug and held him tightly against his solid body. Yuri yelped a little at the action and squirmed around to escape the older man's grasp. All the while, Victor still wore the same heart-shaped grin. Yuuri stood back behind them, too stunned to do anything. Mila and Georgi watched with baited breaths at whatever Victor was planning.

"Let me go!" shouted Yuri as he struggled, but no matter what he did, it was as if Victor's body were made of iron.

"Is there something you'd like to say to me, Yurachka?" asked Victor almost teasingly, his grip never wavering.

"FUCK YOU, that's what I'd like to say to you!"

There was a very brief and dangerous flash in Victor's eyes as he shifted Yuri into one arm, freeing up his right as he held it in front of the teen menacingly. For a second, Yuuri was confused, unsure of what his boyfriend was going to do. "Are you sure that's what you want to say?"

"LET ME GO! I'LL FUCK YOU UP!"

Victor let out a hearty little laugh which hid not-so-subtle ill intent. "Okay~!" he near sang before jabbing his fingers into Yuri's side.

Yuri's eyes opened wide before he started squirming even more, letting out little yelps and kicking his feet in front of him. "NO NO NO NO STOP! STOOOP!" He burst out into uncontrollable laughter before he could finish that last word.

"What do you say?" his tormentor asked expectantly.

"I HA-HATE YOU VICTOR!" Yuri screeched between giggles, little tears forming at the sides of his green eyes. Yuuri now had a sheepish grin on his face as he watched what looked like a play fight between an older and younger brother. Mila was full on snickering and using the outer wall of the rink to support herself while Georgi leaned back laxly, watching Yuri's torment with an amused look on his face.

"What was that?"

Yuri couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't take being made to make these high pitched involuntary noises and crumple his body this way and that way in front of an audience. He hated the idea of giving Victor the satisfaction of knowing he'd won, but there were no other options. Yuri would just have to plan to get him back later. "F-fine! Fine! I'm sorry!"

Victor's heart-shaped smile morphed into a devious smirk. He had him on the ropes. "And what else?"

"'W-what else'?!" Yuri repeated with disbelief. "Th-that's...! Ahahaha! That's not fair!"

"What else?" commanded Victor with more force this time.

"I-I w-won't bother you two anymore!"

"What else?"

"Hahaha! Y-you're still the hero of Russia!"

"What else?"

By this time, Yuri figured out what Victor wanted, but no. That was his last shred of dignity. He couldn't. "Uhhh... F-fine! Hehehe haha! Y-your dad does work at Nintendo!"

Victor could sense that the teen knew now what he was asking for, so he pressed on. "What else, Yurio?"

Yuri bit his lip bitterly. Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it... It was the only way. He inhaled deeply, and then...

"I LOVE MY GAY DADS."

The sound vibrated off the walls of the rink and echoed throughout the building as Victor immediately withdrew his tickling hand. Now satisfied, he loosened his grip on the teenager and wrapped his arms around him in a real embrace. Yuri wanted to die. "And your gay dads love you too~!" Victor chirped merrily, rubbing the side of his face into the top of Yurio's head.

Yuuri fought the urge to fall over into a messy giggling heap. Mila presented no such resistance and was already laying on the ice clutching her stomach. Georgi tried to maintain his composure but ended up hiding his laughter behind his hand.

Suddenly, Yakov walked in just as Victor let Yuri go free. Yakov looked around at the bubbling skaters confusedly and contemplated briefly whether or not he wanted to know what had them so silly. Yuri just stood stiffly, thinking of all the horrendous things he would do to Victor once he'd finished puberty and had grown as big as he was. Soon, Victor, he thought darkly. Soon.

!Bonus! Alternate Ending

(Let me know what you think of both! lol)

"But I dunno~. Coach Yakov doesn't like when I talk to you, much less watch you skate..."

"Coach Yakov isn't here."

"Hahaha, you're bad..."

"But you love it."

Suddenly, a pair of red skate guards impacted with the back of Victor's grey head, rather lightly bouncing off of him before landing on either side of the Russian man on the ice. From behind him, Yuri Plisetsky had re-entered the rink and skated close enough to chuck the objects at his rinkmate, face red with fury. Georgi and Mila stood a ways away, watching the scene with surprised looks on their faces.

"GET A ROOM YOU TWO!" screamed the youngest skater of the bunch. "I'M SO TIRED OF WATCHING YOU TWO CHASE EACH OTHER AROUND HERE LIKE DOGS IN HEAT!"

The rink was completely silent as if time had been stopped.

"Aw, Yurio! You ruined it!" said a voice which belonged to none of the Russians nor the Japanese man with them.

Bewildered, Yuri looked around until he found Phichit crouching just below the couple, about in line with their hips, holding his camera phone up in front of his face. Both Yuri and his Japanese counterpart jumped back with surprise while Victor merely stared at the Thai skater. All in the rink were pretty sure he wasn't there just a second ago.

"P-Phichit!" Yuuri K. stammered.

"What the hell is he doing here!?" Yuri P. demanded, pointing at the skater as if he'd just spotted a cryptid.

Phichit sighed and stood, ignoring their questions as he stared disappointedly at his phone. "Aw man... That was some good stuff... The #Victuuri Fanclub on Facebook would have loved to see where that was going..."

"How did you get here?!" Yuuri asked, nearly shrieking with shock.

"What?" Phichit turned to them as if he only just heard what they said. "Oh hey, Yuuri! I took the bus here, duh."

Yuuri paused, the confusion not being quelled by that answer and only bubbling even more inside of him. "We're in Russia, Phichit!"

Unfortunately for Yuuri, he would remain perplexed all day after having met his friend seemingly impossibly because Phichit only answered in a circle when he prodded him for information. That night, however, a few pictures of Victor and Yuuri's flirting surfaced on Facebook with the caption, "Caught! [hiding monkey emoji] #TheAmazingTeleportingPhichit".