A/n : yes, i stayed up until 3am AGAIN to sell my soul to Satan because of two gay figure skaters. but damn i love them and their relationship so much? The best kind of relationship is where both sides inspire each other and bring out the best in them. I was literally sobbing for the last 3 minutes of episode 4 because Yuri On Ice started playing. I had been listening to the shortened version from the PV all this while (i literally put it on repeat for hours) and I DIDNT EXPECT ANYTHING so when the song started playing i bawled like a freaking baby yall. and yes, ive been listening to it for the last 4 hours too, and i tried to get the emotions that ive been feeling but have never been able to grasp from this song, and i hope it was satisfactory.

Thank you. Please enjoy.

Yuuri had a lot on his mind. He did not know exactly what he was thinking about, no matter how hard he tried to sort out his thoughts. Every time he tried to pull something out, nothing came. Nothing at all. He thought that it was just him over-thinking again, and that his mind was actually clear, but every time he switched to another part of his mind, that bugging feeling came back. It was a thought that lingered and loitered, never really settling down, and he was starting to feel a little irritated at his inability to figure out what it was.

Eventually, his legs brought him to the ever-so-familiar ice rink once more, where he can always defuse and relax in the silence that the rink gently holds, apart from the sound of the blades against ice. He put on his gloves, his skates, and pushed open the door, subconsciously feeling the cool air brush against his face. It always brought him comfort, especially when he was alone. He exhaled quietly and slid into the ice rink.

He let his legs guide his body, for he was now occupied with his mind. He exhaled once more and closed his eyes, feeling the cold air caress his entire being, letting his feet take him wherever they wanted. He searched his mind with a sort of calmness he had never experienced and a determination he had never felt. His desire was soft and quiet, yet firm and unwavering. What am I looking for?

He did not know the answer to that, but he kept on looking. There was something in there, he knows, something... something sweet, something warm, something he cannot quite put his finger on. What is it? Why do I feel this way? What is this feeling? Deeper, deeper... he needed to reach deeper. There was something in him, something blossoming and blooming...

Meanwhile, Viktor had headed over to the skating centre, since, well, it was the only other place Yuuri could be at that time of the night. He did the usual today, knocking on Yuuri's door and asking if he could sleep with him. He expected to hear Yuuri's flustered voice as usual too, but instead he was met with silence. He could not be asleep at that time, he knew, as it was barely nine and Yuuri never knocks out so early. He paused for a moment and then went back to his room to change, before making sure Makkachin was asleep comfortably and heading out.

The light was dim in the ice rink, and Viktor almost thought he was wrong and Yuuri was not there. However, upon closer inspection, Viktor could just make out the sound of blades against ice. He put on his own skates almost eagerly, as if he wanted to see what exactly Yuuri was doing... Okay, yeah, he is eager. He had noticed that Yuuri seemed a little troubled lately, but it did not affect practice so he did not ask, trusting that he will be able to figure it out on his own. I mean, actually, his performance during practice was more than unaffected, it was instead getting better. Viktor hypothesized that it might be the serious side of Yuuri he had never seen. However, it had already been quite a handful of days since it started, and Yuuri had only become quieter and quieter. Maybe he did not wish to speak about it, Viktor had thought, so he decided not to probe unless it got really serious.

Truth was, even Yuuri did not know what was wrong.

His mind was not exactly all in a mess or chaotic and he did not feel like his thoughts were scattered loosely all about either. He did not know what it was. It almost felt like the calm before the storm and there was a small part of him that was terrified of what it could become. However, he also felt like his mind was clear, was free from excessive worry and anxiety for once. It was a new and unfamiliar feeling and it probed his curiosity more than ever. Twenty three years into this life and this was the first time he had felt like this. He exhaled again, giving half of his attention to the slow waltz of his arms and legs. He was so engrossed and so mesmerized by this new feeling that he did not notice that Viktor had entered the hall, and was watching him from the sidelines.

Viktor could not move. When he first pushed open the door he had wanted to greet Yuuri like how he always did, just a notch down lest he scared him by accident, but when he saw Yuuri, he just... froze. Yuuri was so beautiful. The swinging of his arms were creating gentle waves of rhythm and music, his legs flowing smoothly like the wind, letting him soar perfectly and effortlessly across the ice. Everything was so gorgeous and magnificent. Yuuri was known for his beautiful step sequences, but now - this - he is literally skating a completely new program on his own, one that Viktor had never laid his eyes upon in his entire career. Viktor swore he forgot to breathe. Yuuri's every action, his entire body, his very being, was creating a music of its own. A song played only for the angels... and only by Yuuri. A music, a song that only he could hear. A feeling that only he could portray with his body and heart.

It took Viktor all his might to snap out of the trance. He listened closely. Maybe Yuuri was playing a song from his phone or something but was too soft for Viktor to hear. Impossible, Viktor thought. God, what am I thinking? The entire hall was silent except for the sound of Yuuri's blades against ice, but Viktor could hear music radiating from Yuuri's body and soul and resonating around him. Viktor looked at Yuuri closely, squinting, trying to get a good look of his face. He was gliding across the ice elegantly, his expression a concoction of desperation, hope, agony and...

Yuuri executed a quadruple Salchow, and this time, perfectly. Viktor's eyes widened a little at the sudden jump, but it took everything he had in him not to shout in excitement. Yuuri's eyes were half-opened and looked almost unfazed by the successful jump that he had been trying to master all this while, which left Viktor looking puzzled. Yuuri then progressed into a sit spin before ending it off cleanly, his arms outstretched to the front and his chin gently titled up to the ceiling. His expression had unfolded and unraveled, causing Viktor to forget to breathe again, and...

...and love. Love. That was what Yuuri had been trying to grasp all this time. Love is something sweet, something warm, a flower that blossoms beautifully, its beauty unmatched.

Yuuri panted heavily, suddenly aware of the fatigue and exhaustion he had placed upon himself. He looked down at his hands as he lowered his arms, muttering under his breath, "... Love." Now, his expressions were a mix of relief and disbelief, and Viktor could hardly read his expression.

"Yuuri," Viktor called out as gently as he could, and he could read his expression immediately: shock.

"Vi-Vi-Viktor?!" Yuuri almost jumped. "Wh-Why are you here?"

Viktor entered the ice rink, his face showing nothing but seriousness. He went right up to Yuuri and held his hands in his, gripping them tightly, exclaiming, "Yuuri, that was amazing!"

Yuuri suddenly became mute and unable to process his words, as he stammered, "I- D-Did you see everything?" There was a certain tinge of hope in his voice and he could even taste it on his tongue. "I'm... I'm really glad you like it...!" All of a sudden, Yuuri became tongue-tied and he could not form the sentences he wanted to say.

Then it hit him.

Yuuri was not skating for Viktor. He was skating to discover himself, not to show it to someone else. It had finally dawned on him. It was indeed not for Viktor, not for anyone in fact, but it was about Viktor... and Yuuri. It was about Yuuri's love. His love for Viktor. Something he had never experienced and felt towards anyone. Love. Simple, yet so abstract a concept.

Yuuri was silent for the longest time, but his eyes were looking straight into Viktor's, looking at Viktor. Viktor did not mind the silence, for he was willing to listen to anything Yuuri says, including the silence that he holds.

Yuuri finally looked away, and asked softly, "Viktor, can I... Can I tell you something?" His cheeks were tinted red as he spoke.

"Of course."

Yuuri shifted his hands in Viktor's so that he, too, was holding Viktor's hands. Yuuri looked down at their hands, holding each other's warmth so delicately and firmly. Viktor's eyes never once left Yuuri's face.

Please listen to what I have to say, Viktor... Yuuri squeezed Viktor's hands and Viktor tightened his grip in return, assuring him. Yuuri looked up at Viktor and Viktor almost gasped at the depth of his brown eyes, a sight he had never seen before.

"Ты моя луна, мои звезды. Ты самая красивая в темноте. Если я ночное небо, вы тот, кто заставляет меня сиять," Yuuri took extra care in pronouncing the words and saying each syllable clearly and slowly, being more cautious than when he had practiced secretly in his room. He felt himself holding his breath right after saying it, not giving him a chance to breathe as he waited somewhat nervously for Viktor's response.

Viktor, for the third time that night, stopped breathing for a good eight seconds before he started to tear up. "Yuu- Yuuri? Whe-When did you start to-" Viktor had to stop and let go of Yuuri's hands to wipe his tears away. "God... When did you start to learn-" Viktor could not continue. He was too overwhelmed by the sudden surge of emotions that was about to burst through his heart. Yuuri learnt his language to say this? Viktor simply could not handle it. For a foreigner, learning how to pronounce the words were tough enough, and to put them in a complete sentence...

Viktor felt so blessed. Blessed to have met such a beautiful person like Yuuri.

Yuuri did not know what he was feeling, it was a mix of ecstasy, relief and excitement all together. He was so glad he finally told Viktor how he felt, even if it was insufficient when put in words, but he hoped that his message got through clearly and loudly through his actions and emotions... and through the song he played.

Before Viktor could finish sucking back all his tears, Yuuri blurted out, "Я люблю тебя, Viktor."

Viktor started crying all over again. Enough talking, Viktor pulled Yuuri into a tight, loving embrace, which Yuuri undoubtedly enjoyed every moment of it of course, and whispered for his voice had failed him, "Я тоже тебя люблю, Yuuri. Со всем моим сердцем."

Translation:
Ты моя луна, мои звезды. Ты самая красивая в темноте. Если я ночное небо, вы тот, кто заставляет меня сиять — You are my moon, my stars. You are the most beautiful in the dark. If I'm the night sky, you are the one who makes me shine.

Я люблю тебя — I love you

Со всем моим сердцем — With all my heart