Mycroft spoke as we got up, "She's in London cu-" Sherlock cut him off, "Just text the details. We'll be in touch by the end of the day." Harry stood up and walked with us, "Do you really think you'll have news by then?" Sherlock replied arrogantly, "No, I think I'll have the photographs." Sherlock buttoned his suit jacket as Harry stopped walking, "One can only hope you're as good as you seem to think." In a chance to show off, Sherlock observed his appearance for several seconds and turned to Mycroft, "I'll need some equipment of course." Mycroft nodded with a wave of his hand, "Anything you require. I'll have it sent over." Sherlock answered with hesitation, "Can I have a box of matches?" I looked at him curiously, "Matches?" Sherlock nodded, smirking at bit at me before turning to Harry, "Or your cigarette lighter, either will do." Harry shakes his head, "I don't smoke." Sherlock held out his hand, "No, I know you don't, but your employer does." Harry looks surprised as his hand reaches into a pocket in his pants, "We have kept a lot of people successfully in the dark about this little fact, Mr. Holmes." Sherlock retorted as he took the lighter from him, "I'm not the commonwealth." I bit my lips as I walked by after him, not believing he just quipped like that to Harry. John nodded goodbye to the man as he joined us, "And that's as modest as he gets. Pleasure to meet you." Sherlock hollered over his shoulder as we rounded the corner, "Laters!"
I had to walk quickly to keep up, as did John. Sherlock was in quite an excited mood about this case, perhaps because we were being employed by the Queen? As we piled into the taxi John interrupted my thoughts, "Alright, the smoking, how did you know?" I nodded in agreement as Sherlock spoke, "The evidence was right under your nose, John, as ever you see but do not observe." Leaning down on my knees to look over at him, "Observe what?" Sherlock looked down at her and then up at John as he stuck his hand in his coat and pulled something out, "The ashtray." The three of us laughed as he put it back in his coat pocket, "I can't believe you actually did it!" Sherlock winked at me as we all piled out of the taxi and up the stairs into their flat, "Well, someone mentioned it. Thought I'd follow through."
After exchanging a few words over the phone with my boss, who was anxious to find out if we really were working for the Queen, I made my way downstairs to change into street clothes. I wore a pair of jeans with a brown blouse and pair of ankle boots. I let my hair down and then joined them back upstairs to find Sherlock tossing clothes against the wall of his bedroom. John turned towards me as he asked, "What are you doing?" I walked over to take a seat at the table I watched the clothes keep coming. Sherlock answered, "I'm going into battle, John, I need the right armour." He appeared in the door wearing a yellow officers raincoat; he locked eyes with me and then immediately took it off, "No."John and I both shook our heads at his antics. I drank a cup of tea as we waited, "I think my boss is getting irritated that I'm constantly leaving to help on cases." John looked over at her, "Well, you know, you can always turn Sherlock down. Your career is more important than a case." I nodded, "Yeah, but-it's always so exciting. I love it." John sighed as he took another drink of his, "Yeah, I know what you mean...I'm in the same boat really." The sat in silence thinking over their jobs as Sherlock came wearing almost exactly what he had been wearing before.
The three of us then headed out to a taxi that had been previously ordered by John. I spoke as I scooted to the other side, "So, what's the plan?" Sherlock looked out the window, "We know her address." John looked over at him as I fixed the laces on one of my boots, "We just ring her doorbell?" Sherlock nodded as he watched me before looking out the window, "Exactly. Just here, please." I looked over at him as I sat back up, "You know what...you didn't even change your clothes." Sherlock adjusted his collar, "Then it's time to add a splash of color, Klayre." I looked over at John in confusion as we got out, "How are you going to do that when we are miles away from the flat?" Sherlock took his scarf off and turned to John. I asked impatiently as I looked around, "Are we here?" He shook his head, "Two streets away. But this will do." John rose an eyebrow, "For what?" Sherlock turned to an angle, "Punch me in the face."John wavered back and forth on his stance, "Punch you?" Sherlock nodded, "Yes, punch me, in the face. Didn't you hear me?" I talked over the two of them, "Why does John need to punch you?" John looked over at me and then back at him, "I always hear, 'punch me in the face' when you're speaking...but it's usually subtext." Sherlock shook his head, "Oh, for god sake's." Then his arm launched through the air punching John in the face,"Oh!" I stood open mouthed watching in horror as John's body bent over from the force of it. He stood back up and punched Sherlock back, "Ow!"
As John shook his hand and looked at his knuckles, Sherlock stood up his hand against his cheek, "Thank you, that was..that was-"Before he could finish John jumped him. I started to go from concerned to laughing hysterically as John hung from the back of Sherlock's body. I could hear Sherlock muster out, "Okay, I think we're done now, John." John tightened his grip, "You want to remember , Sherlock, I was a soldier. I killed people." Sherlock yelled out, "You were a doctor!" John yelled back, "I had bad days!" Laughing as I got over to them I put my arms between the two of them, "Alright, alright boys. Break it up."
The two men separated and looked at each other before laughing a bit, "Now here's the plan..."
All to soon I found myself standing behind John, hand clamped over mouth, trying not to snicker at Sherlock's terrible acting. He was rambling on about how he had been mugged; his wallet and phone stolen. The lady offered to call the police and then he asked if he could wait here until they arrived. She buzzed the door open and let him in followed by the two of us. John waved slightly. "It's alright, I saw what happened. I'm a doctor. Would you happen to have a first aid kit?" She pointed towards a doorway, "In the kitchen, please, help yourself." John thanked her as he and I went to fetch it.
As we entered the living room John said, "This should do it." I looked up as he stopped walked so I wouldn't run into him. I could feel my eyes widen and my mouth open slightly as I took in the image before me. Sherlock was sitting on the couch with Irene Adler standing stark naked in front of him, his fake collar in her mouth. Finally I came to my senses as did John, who spoke, "We missed something didn't we." Sherlock nodded somewhat suddenly not meeting my gaze. Irene looked at the two of us before taking a seat, "Please, sit down. Or if you'd like some tea I can call the maid." Sherlock looked over at her, "I had some at the Palace." She smiled over at him, "I know." He replied, "Clearly." I stood with John; most definitely not looking over at her, "We had tea too, if anyone is interested." I noticed that Sherlock kept looking between her and John. 'What is he seeing', I thought to myself. Then I began to feel uncomfortable..the man I was growing to love was looking at the naked body of another woman. I took in a deep breath and bit my tongue for the case.
Her voice rang out, "You know the big problem with a disguise, Mr. Holmes?" He nodded over at her before she continued, "However hard you try, it's always a self-portrait." Sherlock looked away confused, "You think I'm a vicar with a bleeding face?" She shook her head, "I think your damaged, delusional and believe in a higher power. In your case, it's yourself." He adjusted something on his tie and she leaned in towards him, "Hmm, and somebody loves you. If I had to punch that face, I'd avoid your nose and teeth too." She looked briefly over at John and I; I couldn't take it anymore, "Could you put something on, please. Anything at all, a napkin?" She spoke, "Why? Are you feeling exposed?" Sherlock stood up, "I don't think they know where to look." She stood up after him, "No, I think they know exactly where." She waltzed over to us and stood there, Sherlock offering him her jacket to put on. She took it, as she looked back at him, "I'm not sure about you." Sherlock looked down at the floor, "If I want to look at naked women, I'd borrow Johns' laptop." John looked over at him as we watched him walk to the fireplace, "You do borrow my laptop." He retorted, "I confiscate it."
Irene looked at the three of them, "Well, never mind, we've got better things to talk about." She sat back down, now fully covered in his coat, "Now, tell me. I need to know. How was it done?" I looked over at her, "How was what done?" she took her shoes off, "The hiker with the bashed-in head. How was he killed?" I looked over at them in confusion but they knew what she was talking about. Then I remembered the Sherlock had told Mycroft he had already been working on case. It must have been that one and I missed out because I was at work. Sherlock shook his head, "That's not why I'm here." She held both shoes in her hands, "No, no, no, You're here for the photographs but that's never going to happen. Since we're here just chatting anyway..." John walked over to Sherlock, "That story hasn't been on the news yet, how do you know about it?" She looked over at us, "I know one of the policemen. Well, I know what he likes." I nodded, "Oh, and you like policemen?" She watched John as he sat down, "I like detective stories and detectives. Brainy's the new sexy."
Sherlock interrupted them, "The position of the car relative to the hiker at the time of the backfire, that and the fact that the death blow was to the back of the head. That's all you need to know." She looked intrigued and I wanted to roll my eyes. This was making me sick to my stomach. She spoke, "Okay, so tell me, how was he murdered." Sherlock turned towards me; still not completely in the eyes, "He wasn't." Irene leaned forward, "You don't think it was murder?" He shook his head, "I know it wasn't." "How?" She asked. The question had barely left her mouth when he spoke up, "The same way that I know the victim was an excellent sportsman, recently returned from foreign travel and the photographs that I'm looking for are in this room." She spoke, "Okay, but how?" Sherlock smirked a bit, "So, they are in this room. Thank you. John, man the door. Let no one in." Sherlock looked over at her, "Two men alone in the countryside, several yards apart and one car." She looked taken aback, "Oh, I..I thought you were looking for the photos now." He scoffed as he looked into the mirror above the fireplace, "No, no, looking takes ages. I'm just going to find them but your moderately clever and we've got a moment, so let's pass the time. Two men, a car and nobody else. Driver's trying to fix his engine but is getting nowhere. The hiker is taking a moment, looking at he sky. Watching the birds? Any moment now, something's going to happen. What?" Irene answered assuredly, "The hiker is going to die." He walked around the room as I rolled my eyes, this was taking longer than expected, "No, that's the result. What's going to happen?" She looked confused, "I don't understand." He looked irritated, "Oh, well, try to." She answered harshly, "Why?" His reply was harsh in return, "Because you cater to the whims of the pathetic and take your clothes off to make an impression. Stop boring me and think. It's the new sexy." She thought for a moment, "The car is going to backfire." Sherlock nodded, "There's going to be a loud noise." She shrugged, "So what?" He paced a bit again, "Oh, loud noises are important. Noises can tell you everything. For instance."
The house fire alarm started going off and Irene's gaze went straight to the fireplace. Sherlock looked back at it, "Thank you. On hearing a smoke alarm, a mother would look towards her child. Amazing how fire exposes our priorities." He ran his hands under the ledge and found something; pressing it upwards. The mirror rose up to reveal a safe in the wall, "I really hope you don't have a baby in here," He said. I smirked softly as she watched in horror. Sherlock shouted out to John, "All right John, you can turn it off now." It kept going, "I said turn it off." He shouted back, "Give me a minute."
Soon the alarm went off and Sherlock started to speak out loud which numbers were the code. Irene walked over to the window, "I'd tell you the code right now but you know what? I already have." Sherlock looked at her confused. She retorted, "Think." I began to think about the conversation. She had never mentioned any kind of code…Sherlock said the first number was 3..it was a six digit code. I bit the inside of my lip trying to think of when she could have mentioned anything else. Suddenly the door flew open and armed men came barreling through it, "Hands behind your head, on the floor, keep it still!" John was forced to his knees next to me, "Sorry, Sherlock." One of the guys shouted, "Miss. Adler, on the floor!" Sherlock looked over the guy, "Don't you want me on the floor too?" The guy shook his head, "No, sir, I want you to open the safe." Sherlock didn't move, "American. Interesting. Why would you care?" The guy was losing his patience, "Sir, the safe, now, please." Sherlock shook his head, "I don't know the code." The guy didn't buy it, "We've been listening, she said she told you." Sherlock argued, "Well if you'd been listening, you'll know she didn't." The guy shouted, "I'm assuming I missed something. From your reputation, I'm assuming you didn't Mr. Holmes." John shouted, "She's the one who knows the code, ask her!" The guy looked over at him briefly, "She also knows the code that automatically calls the police and sets off the burglar alarm. I've learned not to trust this woman." He took in a deep breath, "Mr. Archer. On the count of three shoot Dr. Watson." Sherlock spoke as the guy began the countdown,"I don't know the code."
I looked over at her as it dawned on me. Six digits, started with a 3; she already told him...oh god, how vain, "Sherlock she showed you when she walked in to greet you." He started thinking, as the guy said three, "No, stop!" He turned around and slowly punched in the numbers. The safe unlocked, "Thank, Mr. Holmes. Open it, please." I watched as he went to open it, shouting, "Vatican cameos!" That was the team code word for duck." I immediately ducked down as a gun fired, shooting the man behind John. Sherlock turned around and took the gun away from the leader before grabbing the phone out of the safe. I followed suit and punched the guy behind me in his jewels before standing up and thrusting my palm upwards into his nose breaking it instantly. I grabbed his gun as he dropped it and knocked him out. The others having done the same to theirs. Irene spoke, "Thank you. You were very observant." John looked over at her breathy, "Observant?" She ignored him, "I'm flattered." He looked over at me, "Flattered?" I shook my head as Sherlock lead th way out of the room, "I'll explain later." He nodded.
I stood in the hallway as John and Sherlock walked out to the front porch. I could hear John say we should call the police and Sherlock agreed right before firing a gun into the air. I rolled my eyes as he came back in, "Check the rest of the house and see how they got in." We nodded and took off looking through the house. I found the woman who let us in on the ground of the bedroom, "Sherlock! John!" John came in and checked her pulse, "They must have come in this way." Sherlock came in soon after, "Clearly." John reassured Irene, "It's alright, she's just out cold." She spoke without a care, "Well God knows, she's used to that. There's a back door. Better check it Dr. Watson." He looked at her before motioning me to follow, "Sure."
When we came back up the stairs we found Irene standing over Sherlock with a whip. "Jesus, what are you doing?" She spoke as she left through the other door, "He'll sleep for a few hours. Make sure he doesn't choke on his own vomit. It makes for a very unattractive corpse." I ran over to him, "Sherlock?!" I picked up a syringe, "John! She gave him something?" John looked over at her, "What have you given him?!" She spoke calmly like nothing was wrong, "He'll be fine. I've used in on loads of my friends." I knelt closer to his face, but he just kept looking around the room, "Sherlock can you hear me?"
Irene spoke again, "You know, I was wrong about him. He did know where to look." John stood back up and turned to her, "For what? What are you talking about?" She looked over at you and then back up, "The key-code to my safe. My measurements." Sherlock kept trying to get up and the more he moved the quicker the sedative worked. Before Sherlock knew it, he was out cold.