Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at works/8550886.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings Category: F/M Fandom: Lucifer (TV) Relationship: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar Character: Chloe Decker, Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Mazikeen (Lucifer TV) Additional Tags: Episode: s02e07 My Little Monkey Stats: Published: 2016-11-14 Words: 3121 Hallelujahby ladyluckrogue
Summary
Set post episode 7. Lucifer and Chloe have a lot on their minds and are each dealing with it in their own way. A song performance changes all of that.Hey all. This is a new fandom for me. I have been absolutly obssessed with Lucifer as of late and well...after that last episode. The feels. There is no other way to describe it. I must have watched the ending a million times. I wanted to write something but wasn't sure what or how. Sadly, last week, a legend died, Leonard Cohen. And so there I was in my car when they played a song of his as tribute and I had an epiphany... Yes, it's sort of a song fic, but it works so give it a the song, I looked long and hard for a version, and although, this version fit the best and I am a big fan of his music, Leonard Cohen deserves the credit for the song. This version is sung by the amazing Ed a listen watch?v=9ne2vMqxQEk
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Lucifer, nor do I own the lyrics or take credit for them. The song lyrics belong to the wonderful Leonard Cohen, RIP.
Lux was thriving but it was not the vibrate, flashy den of sin it transformed into most nights. Contrary to most people's belief, and contrary to its reputation, on some nights it catered to its original purpose of a piano bar. Jazz, soul, rock, you name it, the band that had been arranged played a variety of tunes to keep the guests entertained. Sure, there were still scantily clad women around but tonight none of the dancers were in cages or up on the tables or bars. Business was good.
It was a relief to not see a raucous party in the works for once, Lucifer thought to himself as he approached the bar, catching his barkeeper's eye. He leaned casually as a glass was placed in front of him without a word. He downed it, not even feeling the burn and motioned for another. Anything to cut through what he was trying not to sort out. He wasn't sure what it was and he wasn't quite sure if he liked it all. The memory of earlier, of her. He'd left the detective's house and had been trying without success to figure it all out.
Baffled didn't even begin to cover what he was feeling. It was as if everything he knew of emotion, human or otherwise had been turned on its head and it had all been caused by the detective tearfully hugging him. He wasn't sure what sort of sorcery she'd used but he was convinced more than ever that Chloe Decker was in no way a normal human woman. To top it off, the guilt and grief and everything else of the last few weeks had just been churning in him.
"Hey Boss?"
Sipping his drink, Lucifer glanced to Jeffrey, Maze's replacement as far as running the club went.
A look the Devil shot the man over his glass made the young man hesitate and Lucifer could see nervousness. It made him miss Maze terribly at times like this.
"Whatever it is, it can wait Jeffrey." Lucifer told him motioning to fill his glass. Bourbon in hand he watched Jeffrey smile and nod. He made a note to talk to him later perhaps. After all, if it was so important or business related, he would be informed.
Glancing through the crowd, he spotted a few familiar faces. Regulars, people he'd met at this party over that and one or two famous faces. He could have sworn he'd seen Maze and a flash of blond hair but as he looked again it was just a sea of people. The pianist on the stage was just winding down a jazz tune and Lucifer made his way to the front, the crowd parting and blurring around him.
"Why here? Why do we always end up here?" Chloe muttered as Maze practically pulled her through the crowd toward the bar.
"Where else can we drink for free?" Maze answered, matter of factly, pressing a drink into her hand.
Chloe took the concoction. She wasn't sure what it was but it was brightly colored in comparison to Maze's straight up bourbon. Never the less, she took a sip and glanced around.
"Quiet tonight isn't it?" She asked. Even the music was on the lighter side.
Maze shrugged and drank. "It IS a piano bar you know. He does cater to different crowds." From her tone, she clearly would be enjoying more of a wild party in full swing, but for once Chloe was thankful.
There was a lull in the music and she looked toward the front at the applause that sounded, seeing none other than Lucifer take the stage. He didn't address the crowd, simply motioned for the current pianist and band to take a break.
He seemed sedate. Serene almost. It was a relief considering his wild erratic behavior of the last few weeks. She felt a bit of a thrill to see him sit in front of the piano and wondered if he'd simply play or if he'd be singing. She'd been witness to both and had to admit he had a real talent although he tended it to use it to his advantage, like most things she did.
She glanced to Maze and saw the expression on her face. She seemed almost worried. "Something's up with him." She glanced almost accusingly at Chloe. "Did something happen between the two of you. I mean he's been in a funk since this morning…"
"No!" Chloe said dismissively, finishing off her drink and ordering another. Maze was gazing at her suspiciously. She'd come back to the house just as Lucifer had been leaving. The morning came back to her in a rush and she glanced down at her hands, fiddling with a napkin and willing her drink to arrive. She hadn't done anything. Sure, she'd cried, she'd hugged Lucifer, practically forced the hug on him but his arms had wrapped around her and they'd stood there like that until Trixie had interrupted the moment. It had felt right. His warmth, the smell of him, everything had just felt right.
She was turning into a sap, Chloe thought trying to stop the rush of color to her face at Maze's scrutiny. It must not have worked because Maze's eyes lit up.
"No…"
Chloe knew where that line of thought was going. "No! Nothing like that…" Her drink finally arrived and she practically downed half of it.
"What then?" Maze asked, puzzled.
As Chloe was fighting to find the words to answer, a hauntingly beautiful and familiar series of piano chords reached her ears, although she was having a hard time fathoming the sound of it in a place like this. Raising to her tip toes she tried to see over the crowd, ignoring Maze entirely.
As if she were hypnotized, she grabbed her drink and started to weave through the crowd when his voice reached her.
I heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music do you?
The lull of the conversation died as all focus turned to the stage. His voice was entrancing, as his fingers danced over the piano keys, his focus seeming to be entirely in the song. It grew harder and harder for Chloe to push through as everyone moved closer.
And it goes like this, the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah.
The music flowed with his words and Chloe was awestruck hearing this coming from a man who proclaimed on a daily basis that he was the devil.
She managed to make it as close to the front as she could, to a seat that had been vacated. Even with the people standing she had a good view of him. He seemed drawn in and she had rarely heard such emotion in his voice. He sounded almost broken, like he'd given up.
Maybe there's a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at somebody who outdrew you
It's not a cry you can hear at night,
Its not somebody who has seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
She sucked in a breath, unable to take her eyes away. The people in the crowd seemed to be reacting similarly around her.
His gaze had remained fixated on the piano throughout the chorus but as he started the next verse she saw him raised his eyes upward. And for once in her life she felt the beginnings of doubt and something akin to fear as her faith or, lack there of, was starting to falter.
You said I took your name in vain
But I never really knew that name
But if I did, what is it really to you?
The amount of emotion in the words, the original intention the text. It had her wondering. She had been witness to many an incredible thing in his presence. Could it really be that maybe, just maybe there was an inkling of truth to what he was saying?
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not some victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Could it be that this man, who she had been convincing herself for so long that he was just crazy or hiding something, that he could possible be telling the truth? That was insane right?
And yet, perhaps it was not the devil with horns and a pitchfork that people thought he was. This was a broken fallen angel, who was angry at so many things but mostly at his fall from grace and hurt that all the evil of the world was thrust upon him. Angry at the unfairness of it all. She felt a lump rise in her throat. Was she going crazy? Had the months of seeing the impossible and ignoring it gotten to her more than she'd thought?
Her heart nearly skipped a beat. During the last chorus his eyes had surveyed the crowd it seemed and she saw him looking directly at her. The irony was not lost as he began the next verse.
Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tried swallowing down the lump, willed the tears to stop, but it all came together as she dabbed at her eyes. She had to look away, lest she lose it in front of all these people.
She tied you to the kitchen chair
She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
The allusion to Samson and Delilah brought the lump back all over. Was she the reason for all this? Had she caused the mess of the last few weeks. Had the reason been why he refused to talk about it really her? Dabbing at her eyes again she glanced once more at him before moving back toward the bar. She didn't see maze at all and was grateful for that as she ordered something stronger than she'd been drinking. She downed the double and dug through her bag, trying to find her phone. She needed to order a taxi and leave. Her head was full and she needed to go home and have a good cry before she did something she'd regret.
Her hands shook and the bartender gave her another drink on the house as she tried to focus on organizing a ride. Despite her better judgement she accepted it gratefully
Lucifer barely heard the sounds of enthusiasm and the cheers as he stood from the piano. He felt worse than he had before. The feeling in his chest was back and the cause for it was currently at the bar trying to compose herself. And yet as he had sung, when he'd seen her there he had been unable to look away from her. What was it about her that had him feeling as if something were putting a vice around his literal heart? He could hardly breath. He made it to the steps, intent on confront her about it once and for all.
The beautiful, leather clad form of his former right hand was blocked his way, giving him a look of reproach that nearly stopped him in his tracks.
"What the hell was that?" Maze demanded. She too, seemed shaken and angry about that fact.
"It's music Maze. It's called having an outlet to puzzle all of this out."
"You are the devil! You shouldn't have to puzzle out anything! What is happening to you?"
Lucifer grit his teeth, biting back a remark, his gaze once again going toward where the detective was seated at the bar. "I'm not quite sure. But, I am going to find out."
Maze didn't even have time to blink as he pushed past her.
Chloe had let the drink distract her enough to be tempted to order another and she felt the sweet surge of alcohol finally calming the edge. as she lifted a hand to order another, she felt someone move up behind her.
"Make that two and be quick about it." She could feel the warm coming off of him and she'd know the voice anywhere.
The drink were there on the bar and before she could say a word, Lucifer motioned for her to follow him. She knew she should probably just tell him they would talk tomorrow and call it a night but something in the way he moved, in his face, something about everything told her that perhaps she should just follow.
She followed him to the elevator, the his private area where he had his apartment. neither said a word but she could see him glance at her a time or two. it almost seemed as if he were sizing her up.
As they got into his apartment, she took a nervous sip of her drink as he turned to look at her.
"Have a drink detective, make yourself at home." He told her pouring himself a glass.
Chloe took a seat, keeping her eyes on him as he downed the glass. She cleared her throat. "The song...that...I don't think I've ever heard you sing like that..."
"What exactly have you done to me? What are you? What is your angle?" He asked, narrowing his eyes.
Chloe was taken aback. "What do you mean 'what am I'? I don't have an angle."
Lucifer shook his head, "You must because of everyone I have ever encountered, you are the only one I haven't been able to figure out. You see, I've been doing what I do for a very long time detective, and no one is immune to what I do. No human anyway. You have seen things you can't explain and yet you don't even flinch!"
"I'm hard to scare." Chloe said automatically. As he stared her down Chloe jumped to her feet in exasperation. "What do you want me to say Lucifer? I mean, since I have met you, you have turned my life upside down. You have been a pain in the ass and a lunatic and and..." She stuttered over her words, trying to figure out how to word what she'd been feeling. "But somehow I've gotten used to having you around and the thought of you not around is awful." She fought back the tears wondering what the hell was wrong with her. Months of hurt and pent up frustration and trauma that he had ruthlessly beat back were just bubbling out of her today and she hated herself for it. She hated feeling weak.
"And just when I've convinced myself that you are just a lunatic with a personality disorder, who I kind of like by the way, you have to go up there and have me questioning stuff I don't even really believe in and thinking that maybe you haven't been telling some elaborate lie all along." She wiped at her eyes and finished off her glass, pouring another from the bottle on the table.
He seemed a bit taken aback at her outburst but somehow relieved at the same time. It was almost as if he had expected her to admit she was really out to get him. She sniffled and wiped her eyes again, taking a long drink to calm her nerves before looking him directly in the eyes. "So I guess I should be asking you that question Lucifer. Am I just crazy?"
"I think I've hurt enough people this week, showing just what I am detective." He downed his drink, his entire face seeming to darken with his mood.
Chloe remembered he'd mentioned he and his therapist having a falling out and felt a bit of a chill.
"I refuse to break you like you've broken me. I don't know what it is you have done but I can't breath when I am around you sometimes. I am becoming someone that I don't even recognize! I have felt things I cannot even begin to describe and as exciting as it is, I'm not sure of what it all means!"
Chloe moved closer to him and her hand rested on his cheek, the warmth and fragility there as he laid his hand on hers was astounding and the vice grip in his chest loosened and he felt a warmth he'd never experienced.
"I'm not made of glass, you can't break me." Chloe assured him.
His eyes locked to hers and he seemed to flicker, and for a moment she saw something else, her hand had felt something different. it took all she had to will her hand to stay there, but not because of fear or disgust, but because of the surprise.
Lucifer had probably expected horror, fear or any number of emotions in Chloe's eyes but what he saw surprised him, that much she could see as a wave of emotion hit her.
She didn't feel pity, she felt anger and sadness for him. from the bits he had told her and her own broken knowledge of theology. It was all sinking in what that scarred and burned visage meant, what he had endured and it overwhelmed her. She leaned into him, her voice soft as she whispered the three little words that finally did break him.
"I'm so sorry..."
Lucifer leaned into her, accepting the comfort she offered, and all the weeks of emotion of turmoil came out in a rush as they held each other, the silent tears mingling.
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