He hadn't believed the doctors at first. Had refused to believe what he was being told. Refused to accept what he knew to be true. And now he couldn't hide from it any longer.
He knew that they were dying. Or at least he knew she was dying. And that scared the hell out of him, because it wasn't supposed to be like this. It had never been supposed to end like this.
She coughed, curling nearly into a ball, as Gibbs touched her shoulder. He was outwardly calm, but he was terrified for Kate.
She finally unbent, and looked at him miserably. "Are we going to die, Gibbs?"
"I don't know." He smoothed a hand over her hair, absentmindedly wondering if she'd let him do this were she healthy. He was cursing the envelope, and the sender- anonymous no longer, thanks to DiNozzo, McGee and Ducky.
It didn't change the fact that while they were trying to solve the case, he was in here. With Kate.
Dying.
And because the universe wanted to torture both of them, she was succumbing faster. Meaning that they both knew he would have to watch her die.
"We won't die," he said firmly.
She leaned against him, clearly not worried about infecting him. And why worry? It wasn't like they'd walk out of there alive.
He inhaled sharply, remembering the dreams of Kate in a body bag. Wondered if she'd had similar dreams. He wondered if they were both meant to die like this, not in a blaze of glory, protecting each other, or of old age, holding hands as they both slipped away peacefully. Not with coughing up blood, and slowly suffocating themselves. No.
"You listen to me, Katie, you're not going to die!" He grabbed her shoulders and turned her to face him. Her lips were starting to turn a pale blue. "As your boss, I refuse to let ya…" A man of few words, he was grasping for something to say. "Think of all the work it would be to train someone new!"
She grinned, then started coughing again. "At least- you're- practical!" She thumped him on the chest, and the blow was so light it felt as though she hadn't hit him at all.
"You're irreplaceable. I ever say that?"
She looked up, her eyes welling with tears as she shook her head. She blinked, and then curled into his embrace. "I don't want to die Gibbs."
"You won't. I promise."
"You can't keep that promise. Even you can't stop death, Gibbs. Can't put it…" She bent over, wheezing again. She sounded worse, and her voice was getting quieter. She was nearly whispering when the coughing fit ended, "… in handcuffs. Even the best agent in DC. The best… agent I know." He ignored the compliment.
"The hell I can't."
She smiled at him through her tears, brown eyes wide. "I guess dying with you isn't the worst way to go, huh boss?"
"Kate…" there was a sudden lump in his throat.
"Jethro," she said simply.
"Damn it, you're not taking the easy way out. You want a reason to fight, Kate?"
She coughed, "Gibbs, I'm dying. There's no need to deny the inevitable. I saw the look on the doctor's face. And I can feel it."
He felt a tidal wave of panic rising in him. No. "Damn it, Kate, you're not leaving me!"
"Who said I'd leave?" she smiled weakly, "Not as long as you remember me, I won't be dead." She took his hand then, her grasp weak.
He frowned, "You listen here. You will not die. And you can't haunt me either."
"But I will, won't I? Once I'm gone."
"There will be no once you're gone. You're can't die, Kate. You won't die. You wanna reason to live, Kate? Then here's your reason!" He quickly pulled her into a kiss, a fierce kiss, one he never would have dared offer her if she weren't dying. At first she weakly protested against his lips. And then she sank into the kiss, relaxing against him. As though she'd always wanted to do that.
It would have been romantic, if she wasn't about to die.
Which she wasn't.
When she pulled away, she was speechless. Her face was pale, but her eyes were huge, and they had lit up like the Fourth of July. He'd been longing to kiss her, and cursed himself now for waiting until she was about to die of the plague. She opened her mouth to speak, but instead just hugged him tight. "Jethro. You shouldn't have done that."
"I did. Kate… you won't die. It's an order, you hear?"
She leaned back into the pillows. "Yeah Gibbs, sure…"
"Kate-," he was suddenly frantic that he was losing her, that she was going to give up, and then he'd be alone, with another ghost. He didn't want another ghost.
And most of all, he didn't want to lose Kate.
"I can't believe it took getting the plague to force me to admit it," the words were rushing out suddenly, as if she was worried she wouldn't get the chance to say them, "But Gibbs-,"
"Don't, Kate. Rest."
"I thought you were an asshole. On Air Force One. And then… you hired me. And we worked together… And Rule twelve… you're my boss. I never saw it coming…"
"Kate-,"
"I love you." She blurted it out, her blush standing out on her pale cheeks.
He lay down beside her, so they were facing each other, crammed into the narrow hospital bed. As a rule, they generally weren't built for two. He touched her cheek.
"I love you, Kate. Have for a long time. And I won't ever stop."
"You'll stay right?"
"Don't worry, I'm not goin' anywhere. It's just the two of us now, Katie."
She relaxed into him, and he took her hand in his. For a few moments, he watched her eyelids flutter shut. She looked peaceful when she slept, but under the lights of quarantine, she already looked like she was gone. Knowing that he may not wake again, he didn't care. His hand was still clutching hers when they fell asleep together.
At least if he died now, he'd die with her. That was all that mattered now. That, and the hope that they'd still be together on the other side.