A continuation of my series Way Down (We Go), here - /works/9154834?view_full_work=true - fucking finally. And don't worry, they're endgame. But I wanted a slow burn on the show, for Alex to date other people first, so you know. Here's me, being evil. Sorry not sorry.
When she first saw her in the bar, she'd thought that maybe they could talk. Until she noticed Alex's arm, draped around the shoulder of some gorgeous brunette.
Some gorgeous brunette who was laughing and leaning into her, hand on her thigh.
Maggie's fingers twitched and her stomach lurched, until a gentle but somehow firm hand took hers and steered her away.
"Maggie," M'gann's voice was soft, warning. Understanding.
"I'm fine," Maggie deadpanned with no feeling that masked every feeling in the book.
Of course she found someone else. She's Alex fucking Danvers.
Of course this woman will make her happier than you ever could.
Couldn't she have found her own damn bar, though?
No. It's not just your bar. She has every right to be here.
She looks happy. She deserves to be happy.
Fuck.
"Mags. I'm nearly four hundred years old, I think I can read you better than - "
"M'gann. I'm fine. I'm... I'm happy she's happy, is all. And I need a drink. Please."
M'gann sighed and nodded slowly, her eyes squinted in compassion, before she started walking away. Maggie reached out to take her arm, the same way M'gann had taken hers.
"Hey. I'm sorry. For being a jerk. You were trying to protect me. I appreciate it, M'gann. Thank you."
M'gann just placed her hand on Maggie's and squeezed softly. Maggie followed her to the bar and leaned over the counter, all elbows and bowed head.
Don't look over at her.
Don't.
Don't torture yourself.
You should look, though. Hell, you deserve a little torture. Leading her on and dumping her like that? And how patronizing is 'I care about you so I can't be with you' anyway?
God, she looks beautiful.
"Hey, it's M'gann, right? Two more beers please," a voice jolted her out of her own head.
A voice that belonged to the gorgeous brunette Alex had just had her arm around.
"Anything I can get you, soldier?" the woman asked then, and Maggie hadn't wanted to disappear this badly since college.
"What makes you say soldier?" she objected, her body stiffening, straightening. She was slightly taller than the other woman, but only just. She used every inch she could.
"Sorry, I... I'm JAG Corps, I just... the way you hold yourself, the gun in your waistband, I assumed - "
"I'm a detective," Maggie interrupted the woman.
Of course she's dating a soldier now. A lawyer soldier.
Smarter than you, definitely.
Sexier, for sure.
Higher ranked, probably.
Less of a jerk, she'd better be, or it won't matter she's a soldier, I'll kick her ass. Not that Alex needs my protection.
Or anything from me.
Not after what I did to her.
"A detective," the woman was saying approvingly, thanking M'gann as she handed her the beers with slightly wide eyes, flitting back and forth between the woman, Maggie, and someone approaching the bar.
Maggie's stomach plummeted.
Fuck.
"Lane, did you ask M'gann to ferment the drinks from scratch or - oh. Hi. Maggie."
She said it like the name broke her heart, and that? That, along with the look on Alex's face and the healthy amount of cleavage showing from her tight shirt, broke Maggie's.
"Maggie? I - oh," this Lane woman's eyes flew wide, and now M'gann was intentionally finding wet spots on the counter to dry over and over and over.
"Danvers, it's been a minute," Maggie found her voice somehow. Without losing her dignity, somehow. "How are you?"
Something dark flickered past Alex's eyes at the question. The woman she was with put a hand on her arm, and she steadied somewhat.
Maggie's heart broke. Again.
"My mother would tell me I have no manners. Maggie Sawyer, this is Lucy Lane. She's my - "
"We've worked a few cases together," Lucy interrupted, holding a hand out for Maggie to shake. It was much smoother, softer, than Maggie's.
Less calloused.
But firm nonetheless.
"Well uh... you two look like you're having a great date night, so I'll uh... I'll leave you to it."
She slapped a twenty on the counter for the drink she hadn't touched and started to leave before giving Alex or Lucy a chance to say a word.
She heard Alex calling her name.
She pretended she didn't.
She hadn't cried in public since high school. She wasn't planning to start again now.
Until a hand touched her arm, just as she was heading out into the alley. But it wasn't M'gann's.
It was Alex's.
"Maggie," she said again, more insistently, more pleading, now that they were standing so close together: close enough for Maggie's knees to threaten buckling, close enough to smell the lavender and the motorcycle exhaust on the woman who could have been her girlfriend by now.
"Danvers, listen, you made it clear you didn't wanna hear from me. And I get it. I do. I don't mean to assume that you still have any feelings whatsoever about me, or what happened a few weeks ago, but either way, I don't wanna disturb your date - "
"Oh, so you think I'm, what, suddenly magically over you? That all the..." Alex fumbled for words, and Maggie's heart quaked. She stole a glance at Alex's lips, and she knew Alex was thinking about the same kiss she was. "That everything that happened with us didn't mean anything?"
"Well, you're dating this gorgeous JAG Corps - "
"Lucy's one of my best friends, Maggie. One of my only friends. This isn't a date, we... that's not the point. You think past relationships don't hurt you anymore just because you start dating someone new? Because apparently your last relationship made you decide to dump me - "
"I never wanted to hurt you, Alex."
"Right, so hurt me sooner rather than later?"
"Yeah. It's less painful that way," Maggie nearly whispered, suddenly exhausted.
Suddenly aware that Alex's hand was still on her arm.
Alex blinked and released her arm. Maggie's stomach swooped like the entire world was slipping out from under her feet.
"Look. There was some truth to what you said. About me being so... new to all this. So maybe... maybe you're right. Maybe I can get... less new at it. And in the meantime, maybe we can try to be friends?"
Friends, so I can watch you go through woman after woman.
Friends, so I can watch you find someone you actually want to be with, and not just because they're your coming out crush.
Friends, so I can help you through the pains other women will put you through.
Friends, so I can only admit that I want you so damn badly when I'm alone in my bed at night.
"Sure, Danvers. Friends. That mean you're gonna actually answer my texts now?"
Alex blushed, and Maggie resisted kissing her.
"I'm sorry about that."
"You didn't do anything wrong. But are you sure? About this friends thing?"
Alex nodded, her face set with determination and an emotion Maggie couldn't quite identify.
"Pool. Tomorrow night."
Maggie swallowed the lump in her throat.
Swallowed the screaming in her head and the shattering in her heart.
"Wouldn't miss it."
Alex smiled softly before nodding and walking away, and Maggie tried not to watch the way her body moved, the way her boots clicked slightly on the floor, the way her hands clenched and unclenched once, twice, as she walked back to the woman she said was just a friend.
Just like Maggie.
Fuck.
TBC