AN: Hey, everyone. I guess it's been a while since I've updated any of my stories, so I'll give you a basic idea of what to expect for the future.

X-Tail: I am going to continue writing this story, at least until the end of the Fighting Festival arc. When I reach that point, I'll decide on what to do for it.

Mutants and Gems: Yeah, in hindsight this was not a good idea. I thought that I could combine them well, but I just can't write for it anymore. Shortly after this, it and the prequel will be deleted.

A New Hero: I've simply lost interest. If anyone wants to adopt it, send me a PM. The original will be deleted regardless of what happens.

Now, with that out of the way, here's a crossover that I wish I had written first.

Rick and the Louds

Chapter 1: Left in The Dark

Loud House 2nd Floor 7:30 PM

As night fell in Royal Woods, Michigan, a certain house continued to be the bane of the neighborhood's existence. The house itself was white with a black colored roof, had a porch in the front side, a chimney that ran up the left side, and a garage on the right side. The walls of the basement were made of red bricks. While it appeared normal, the interior housed one of the largest families in Royal Woods, one that had only increased in disdain, mostly because of the unexpected resident.

In one of the rooms, there was an 11-year-old Caucasian boy with freckles, short white hair, and an overbite with a chipped tooth. He wore an orange polo, blue jeans, and white sneakers with red stripes. This was Lincoln Loud.

Lincoln's room was a converted linen closet, but the boy had done a decent job in turning it into a real room, like his sisters'. There were the basics: a bed, dresser and mirror. His closet was used to hang his clothes as well as his model spaceships. Lincoln also had many comic books and movie action figures sprawled practically everywhere.

As the night approached the optimal time, Lincoln had been watching the promo for his favorite TV show, 'ARRGH!'. The show itself had been somewhat popular, enough that the show would be airing its third season finale tonight. Lincoln had been bubbling in anticipation for this night for weeks, even if it was rather tame compared to his adventures with his grandpa, Rick.

When the promo ended, Lincoln pulled out his walkie-talkie from his dresser to call Clyde, his best friend. While Lincoln did have an ordinary walkie-talkie, Rick had upgraded his and Clyde's to a range that it would work even if they were on opposite sides of the universe. As such, they often had to adjust the range to prevent any possible background noise from other locations.

"This is Cadet Lincoln calling Cadet Clyde. Do you read me?" Lincoln said over his walkie-talkie.

"This is Cadet Clyde. I'm reading you loud and clear. This is going to be epic! We get to watch 'ARRGH!', together!" Clyde replied with joy, only to frown slightly. "And by 'together' I mean you at your house and me at mine."

"Come on, you know I'd want you to come over, but you know how you get around Lori." Lincoln responded, referring to his oldest sister.

"It's true. But I can totally control myself this time!" Clyde said desperately.

"You got a nosebleed, threw up in the bushes, and fainted repeatedly." Lincoln deadpanned.

"Can you blame me? Lori was wearing that perfume; Venetian Romance. She so wants me!" Clyde said jubilantly.

"Uh, she wore that for her date with Bobby, Clyde." Lincoln clarified, remembering that Clyde had only seen Lori for a few seconds before she left with Bobby.

"Oh. Well, there's always hope, like if Rick summons a fire-breathing monster to…" Clyde said excitedly.

"I am not going to ask my grandpa to kill Bobby, Clyde!" Lincoln interrupted and then sighed deeply. "Look, I got to go. I need to take care of my sisters so that I can watch TV tonight."

"Okay. Good luck, Cadet Lincoln!" Clyde said as they both turned off their walkie-talkies for the night.

"Time to put Operation: Couch Commando into action." Lincoln said to himself as he heard the familiar chanting of his two 6-year-old twin sisters, Lola and Lana.

Lola and Lana had fair skin, blonde hair, and were missing some of their front teeth. However, Lana's hair was in pigtails and Lola's was long and unrestrained. Lana also wore a red baseball cap backwards, white sneakers with blue stripes, and a murky green t-shirt under dark blue overalls. Conversely, Lola wore a long pink gown and sash, a white pearl necklace around her neck, long pink gloves, white earrings, pink high heels, and a tiara on her head.

Despite their differences, both girls were happily chanting "Cartoons! Cartoons!" with a big smile on their faces as they exited their room. Knowing that he had to get all his sisters out of the way for the night, Lincoln put his master plan into action with his knowledge on all of them.

"Did someone say, 'tea party'?" Lincoln asked as he stepped in front of the duo with a tea kettle and a box of cookies on a silver plate.

Lola squealed happily as she took the supplies from her big brother and headed back to hers and Lana's room. "Thank you, Lincoln!" However, Lana was undeterred and stared at her big brother somewhat angrily.

"Hey, I don't want to be a part of some dumb tea party! I want to watch TV!" Lana said tersely.

"Not even if, these guys are invited?" Lincoln asked confidently as he pulled out two frogs he found in the backyard from behind his back.

Lana's demeanor quickly mirrored her sister's as she accepted the frogs and headed back to rejoin Lola. "Thanks, Lincoln!"

Lincoln then noticed one of his older sisters by the staircase, Luan. Luan was 14-years -old with fair skin, light brown hair worn up into a ponytail by a yellow scrunchie, an overbite, and braces. She wore a white sleeveless shirt, a yellow skirt with a square pattern, yellow socks with a line pattern that was worn all the way up, and brown shoes. She also wore three pink flowers, one on her shirt and one on each shoe.

"Luan! How are you?" Lincoln asked.

"I'm fine, Lincoln. I'm just going downstairs to watch TV." Luan replied.

"You might want to grab you video camera instead. The twins are at it again." Lincoln said knowingly as Lola and Lana had quickly escalated into fighting, with Luan now watching in excitement.

"This is totally going to go viral! Thanks, Linc!" Luan said happily as she ran back to hers and Luna's room.

Lincoln soon overheard the sound of Lily's babbling and knew that she would be exiting the room with Lisa. Lincoln quickly intercepted them and made sure Lily didn't wander off too far.

Lily was 15-months-old with fair skin, a tuft of blond hair, and one tooth. She simply wore a white diaper. Lisa was 4-years-old with fair skin, short and shaggy dark brown hair, and had a small lateral lisp. She wore a green turtleneck, red pants, brown shoes, and a pair of glasses.

"Hey, Lisa! I saved you a trip downstairs and got that stuff you needed!" Lincoln said as he embraced Lily.

"You mean the lactose, triticum protein, sodium chloride crystals, sucrose, and galus galus ovum?" Lisa asked, demonstrating her genius-level intelligence that was only second to her grandfather's.

"Uh, yeah. The milk, flour, salt, sugar, and eggs." Lincoln said as he carefully cradled Lily and held out the ingredients.

"You say tomato, I say solanum lycopersicum. Thank you." Lisa said stoically as she took the ingredients and went back to her room, which left Lincoln with a rather fussy Lily. Still, he had no time to handle it as Lynn, his youngest oldest sister, came out of hers and Lucy's room.

Lynn was 13-years-old and had long, dark brown hair wrapped into a small ponytail. She wore a red and white jersey with a red "1" on it, red-and-white shorts, and cleats with striped knee-high socks. Like Lincoln, she also had freckles on her skin.

"Yeah! Two minutes to game time!" Lynn cheered as she exited her room.

Lincoln quickly intercepted her and said, "Hey, Lynn! You want to try out Grandpa Rick's helium-filled football?" He proved this claim when he showed Lynn how it floated in mid-air. "He made it for the extreme player that demands more!"

"I totally demand more!" Lynn said jubilantly as Leni, the second-oldest sister came out of hers and Leni's room.

Leni was 16-years-old and had long, pale blonde hair with side-swept bangs. She wore a frilled turquoise dress, red hoop earrings, white sandals topped with green bows, and a pair of white sunglasses on top of her head.

"Uh, go long!" Lincoln proclaimed as he threw the weightless football into Lynn and Lucy's room, which the sporty girl immediately followed. He then ran up to Leni and said, "Oh, my god, Leni!"

"What? Is there a spider on me?!" Leni proclaimed fearfully as she wildly rubbed her head. "Get it off, get it off, get it off!"

"Worse! There's a huge zit on the end of your nose!" Lincoln claimed, although Leni's skin was free of any blemishes.

"I'm a hideous monster!" Leni yelled as she ran towards the bathroom to investigate, which Lincoln knew would mean at least an hour until she caught on.

Suddenly, Luna came out of hers and Luan's room with her purple guitar and a big smile on her face. Luna was 15-years-old with short brown hair stylized into a pixie-cut. She wore a purple t-shirt with a skull on it, a plaid purple skirt, a grey belt and high purple boots. She also wore paperclip earrings and three black bracelets on each of her wrists. Also, like Lincoln and Lynn, she had freckles on her face.

"Hey, bro! TV tonight is going to be rocking!" Luna yelled as she ended her sentence with a strum from her guitar.

"Or, you could use Grandpa Rick's Multiverse Flashlight to get colors that we don't have. You could have a one-of-a-kind rock show in your room!" Lincoln said as he held out a yellow flashlight that instantly released a wide spectrum of unknown colors into the hallway.

"That's awesome! Thanks, Linc!" Luna said as she took the flashlight and headed back to hers and Luan's room.

"Has anyone seen my phone? I need to live-tweet my show!" Lori declared as she wandered the hallway.

Lori was 17-years-old with large blonde hair and fair skin. She wore a light blue tank-top, brown cargo shorts, blue slip-on shoes, and blue eye shadow. She also wore pearl earrings.

As he noticed his oldest sister in the hallway, Lincoln discretely took out her phone from his back pocket and sent a text to Bobby before handing it back to her.

"Hey, Lori! I found your phone!" Lincoln innocently stated as he handed Lori's phone back to her.

"Give me that! How many goddamn times do I have to tell you to keep your hands off my stuff?" Lori harshly stated as she took the phone from her little brother. Lincoln only gave a subtle nod to himself as her phone started to ring.

"Hello? Oh, hi Bobby." Lori said somewhat lustfully as she answered her phone. "No, I didn't text you to call me, but I'm glad you did." Lori said as she went back to her room to continue conversing with her boyfriend.

Suddenly, Lincoln noticed that Lily had fallen asleep in his arms from all the commotion and gently laid his youngest sister back into her crib, but not before kissing her on the forehead. With all his sisters now out of the way, Lincoln smiled to himself as he headed downstairs.

Loud House 1st Floor 7:35 PM

Lincoln smiled proudly as he approached the couch, although he looked in the dining room and saw Rick asleep with a bottle of whiskey in his hands.

Rick was a tall, lanky 60-year-old man with grey-blue hair and a bald spot on the back of his head. Unlike the others, he sported a unibrow, his skin was slightly tanner, and his hair resembled spikes. He wore a white lab coat with a light blue-green shirt underneath, brown pants, a dark brown belt with a yellow buckle, and black shoes.

With 8 years of experience, Lincoln had gotten used to seeing his grandfather passed out drunk somewhere. Thank god that this time Grandpa Rick was wearing pants. Since he didn't want to risk going on another adventure with the old man, he left well enough alone and headed back towards the living room.

Unfortunately, as he sat down, he heard the voice of the only remaining sister he failed to placate, Lucy.

"You forgot me." Lucy stated as Lincoln noticed that she was sitting right next to him.

Lucy was 8-years-old with pale, almost chalk-white skin with long black hair that concealed her eyes. She wore long striped arm sleeves, matching knee socks, a black dress worn over a striped shirt, and black shoes.

Rather than being frightened, Lincoln was more frustrated than anything. "Lucy! Why do I always forget you?!"

"It's the story of my life." Lucy replied grimly.

"So, what are you doing here?" Lincoln asked, somewhat indignantly.

"It's the season premiere of my favorite show, Vampires of Melancholia. There's no way I'm missing it." Lucy replied.

"Oh, come on! This is the episode of 'ARRGH!' I've been waiting weeks for!" Lincoln responded, hoping that it would placate his younger sister.

"Sorry, Lincoln. You know that rule: I was here first." Lucy replied.

"Oh, god. Oh, I'm g-going to be s-so sick." Rick mumbled as he drunkenly sauntered in the room. Lucy and Lincoln could only watch as Rick pulled down his pants and sat in the middle of them with his underwear on. While they weren't strangers to Rick's drunken shenanigans, the siblings could only watch as their grandfather embraced them.

"Grandpa Rick, please put your pants back on." Lucy begged as she donned an uncharacteristic disgusted expression.

"No can do, Lucy. T-That's just what t-t-they want me to do anyway. When you k-k-kids get older, you're going to learn when to r-r-rebel. That's why I'm so f-f-freaking awesome." Rick drunkenly said as he embraced two of his grandkids even tighter, much to Lincoln and Lucy's disgust.

"Since you're here, can you get Lucy off the couch so that I can watch 'ARRGH!'?" Lincoln asked hopefully.

"Oh, Lincoln, that show's so stupid. Hunter Spector's never even seen a ghost. A real one would've killed him already." Rick said as he regained some lucidity, but not before discretely securing the TV remote in his left lab coat pocket. "Bottom line: we see and do things way more dangerous than 'ghost hunting' on a regular basis."

"Yeah, but it's nice to have some things on Earth to appreciate, grandpa." Lincoln replied.

"Trust me, I know. Still, I-I-I have some stuff I could use your help with. Consider it a punishment, Lincoln." Rick suggested as he stopped embracing two of his grandkids and pulled up his pants.

"Well, looks like I'll be enjoying a nice evening with my vampires." Lucy said, somewhat pridefully.

"No dice, Sugar Bat. As your punishment, you're coming too." Rick said as he practically dragged Lucy and Lincoln to the former toolshed that was now Rick's lab/room.

"Sigh. I can't believe we have to go on another adventure with Rick." Lucy said solemnly.

"True, but it could be fun. Luna brought home a Spartan helmet last time we had an adventure." Lincoln said, somewhat sad that he would likely miss his show, but optimistic that even if it was a punishment, he could have fun with it.

However, they were both unaware when Rick discretely brought out the remote and recorded both of their shows before leaving the room.

Rick's Lab 7:42 PM

The trio had reached the former toolshed and went through the door. While the exterior resembled the original toolshed, the interior was large enough to have fit into the garage. The interior housed several of Rick's inventions stored in a large blue bookshelf, a work desk with several chemicals laid out, and a whiteboard on the far side of the room. His bed was in the bottom-left corner of the room.

"So, where are we going?" Lucy asked, somewhat disappointed.

"Hey, this is on a need-to-know basis, and neither of you qualify until we get there. It's part of your punishment." Rick stated as he pulled up a chair and started working on his hand-held portal gun. The portal gun itself was metal gray with a black knob to select a universe. Right above the knob, there was a red screen to indicate the universe selection. Lastly, the gun had a green energy source that illuminated the cylindrical bulb right above the red screen.

Rick hadn't been working on it for too long before he fired it at the back wall and a green, jelly-like substance turned into a green portal.

"Ah, that's the ticket. Let's go, kids." Rick said as he waited for Lucy and Lincoln to follow him, which they promptly did. As soon as all three of them entered the portal, it closed.

Dimension 2099-X 12:00 AM

The trio had emerged from the green portal and landed in a rather run-down city with several buildings in ruins and/or on fire. There was gunfire and blood-curdling screams from several sources. Rick and Lincoln had been unfazed as they were used to dealing with apocalyptic worlds. While Lincoln's sisters did occasionally accompany the duo, it was often for simple, less dangerous missions. However, Lucy took in the carnage well and said, "Wicked."

"That's my granddaughter. I'm glad your mom's genes didn't totally mess you guys up." Rick said as he voiced his light disdain towards their mom, mostly because of how many times she claimed that he was a bad influence on her kids.

"So, what are we doing here, Grandpa Rick?" Lincoln asked.

"It's simple, Lincoln. In this dimension, some douchebag was elected president and totally effed up America. What we're seeing here are the ruins of this dimension's New York." Rick stated as he pointed towards a heavily vandalized and broken Statue of Liberty.

"How long did it take to get like this? A few years? Decades?" Lucy asked.

"Actually, it's only been a week since the election." Rick deadpanned, ignoring two of his grandchildren's confused expressions.

"That still doesn't explain why we're here." Lincoln remarked after he shook off the initial confusion.

"Isn't it obvious? This dimension has some sweet loot. We're going graverobbing!" Rick said excitedly as he casually began to take some jewelry from some nearby corpses.

"Grandpa Rick, even I think that's sick." Lucy commented, as she struggled to ignore the disturbing number of corpses.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Come on, I have another idea." Rick said, somewhat disheartened as he hypocritically continued to steal from the corpses, which only stopped thanks to Lincoln's hard slap to his hand.

"Okay, okay! Geez, you really have to lighten up, Lincoln." Rick said as they continued to walk, only for several humanoid silver robots to suddenly descend from the sky and surround the trio. Lincoln and Lucy held each other in fear while Rick only looked disinterested as the robots transformed their arms into laser cannons.

"Oh, fan-freaking-tastic." Rick deadpanned as the robots captured them.

Loud House 1st Floor 7:50 PM

Meanwhile, back in their dimension, the rest of the Loud siblings, minus the slumbering Lily, had gotten over Lincoln's expert distractions and were currently fighting over the TV. Unfortunately, since Rick had absconded with the only remote, the remaining girls were unknowingly fighting a pyrrhic battle.

It wasn't until a bruised Lisa had been thrown out of the scuffle that she noticed who was missing.

"Oh, boy. Guys, I think Grandpa Rick took Lucy and Lincoln on an adventure!" Lisa yelled, which instantly made the other girls stop their fight.

"Oh, this is bad, guys." Lana vocalized, even though the rest knew that was putting it mildly.

"Not necessarily. On our adventures with Grandpa Rick, we wound up on simple recovery missions for his research…which I still have been denied to be a part of!" Lisa stated as she briefly voiced her exclusion from the other family scientist.

"Still, I got to go back in time and got that sweet Spartan helmet from a dying soldier!" Luna said, somewhat fearfully.

"Yes, we all know that story, Luna!" Lynn yelled, envious that she'd been denied to join her and Lincoln on that day.

"She does have a point. Grandpa Rick's adventures can get pretty…dangerous." Leni said hesitantly.

"Yeah! On my last adventure with him and Lincoln, I fought this weird alien bull in an arena. I can't tell you how many times I almost got bull-dozed." Luan said, cramming in a rather forced pun that caused her to laugh, but her remaining siblings to groan.

"It's true. We've all been prone to having our lives in danger with Rick, but this is serious. We need to find them." Lori stated, taking charge of the situation.

"Uh, how are we going to do that? Grandpa Rick has the only portal gun." Lynn pointed out.

"It's true. Even if we had one of our own, we'd have no way of finding whatever alternate dimension they landed in." Lisa added.

"Hmm, good point. Then we're going to need to stall mom and dad by convincing them that they're still in the house when they get back." Lori stated.

"Uh, none of us can really pass off as any of them, so disguises are out of the way, bras." Luna remarked.

"Don't worry. Grandpa Rick told me about a project in his lab that should do the trick. Let's go!" Lori declared as the remaining sisters followed her to Rick's garage.

Dimension 2099-X's White House 12:05 AM

After their capture from the robots, the trio were now in handcuffs and sitting in front of the Oval Office's desk, with an army of the robot guards aiming their laser cannons at them. The one behind the desk had their chair facing the other way, most likely the leader of this dimension's America.

"This is really bad, Grandpa Rick." Lincoln said fearfully.

"Quiet, Lincoln. We're about to meet the guy who captured us." Rick whispered.

"We've got laser guns pointing at us, Grandpa Rick. I don't think we'll be prisoners for long." Lucy grimly stated.

"That's negative thinking, Sugar Bat. We're going to be fine." Rick said comfortingly.

"So, this is what the multiverse has brought to me. A pathetic Lincoln, a glum Lucy, and a caring Rick?" the voice said as it turned around and revealed himself to be Rick.

However, unlike their Rick, this Rick had orange skin, a bad blonde toupee, and wore a black suit with a red tie. Upon seeing the alternate Rick, Rick gave a stern glare while Lincoln and Lucy could only stare in shock.

"I should have known. Only a royal douchebag of a Rick would get into politics." Rick said sardonically as he gave his alternate self a smug smile.

"I'm not a douchebag, Dimension 0006-L Rick! I'm the mother-effing President of the United States!" Douchebag Rick said angrily.

"And your distinction is?" Rick asked mockingly.

"Enough! You and your dimension's grandkids are in violation of unlawful multiverse traveling! By this dimension's law, you should be incarcerated for the next 20 years!" Douchebag Rick angrily yelled.

"Yeah, that's not going to happen, douchebag. Every time I've had to deal with an alternate Rick, I always came out on top. What's so special about you?" Rick asked defiantly.

"In case you haven't noticed, you and your grandkids are in handcuffs, I've got a robot army prepared to vaporize you all, and again…I'm the mother-effing president!" Douchebag Rick declared as he held out the robot's remote control.

"Yeah, but you're forgetting something important." Rick said as he smiled smugly.

"What's that?" Douchebag Rick asked as he snorted in derision.

"I'm a Rick!" Rick declared as he clicked his heels, which produced a buzzing sound that instantly fried the robot's circuits as well as their remote. The robots quickly fell, utterly immobile.

Douchebag Rick only scoffed. "Big deal. You're still in handcuffs."

Suddenly, Rick instantly dislocated his right wrist, which caused the cuff to slide off. He then instantly popped his wrist back into place before repeating the same process with his left wrist and delivered a very strong sucker-punch to his alternate self. The punch instantly knocked out Douchebag Rick, which left him to join his fallen robot army.

"I'm a double-jointed Rick, douchebag." Rick said as he fished out the key from him and freed Lincoln and Lucy.

"Wow, Grandpa Rick! That was awesome!" Lincoln praised as he and Lucy massaged their sore wrists.

"I still can't believe that another Rick was responsible for this." Lucy lamented as she stared at her alternate grandfather.

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure that this is your first time seeing one, Lucy." Rick stated as they all left the room to find Rick's portal gun. "L-L-Lincoln's seen a few of them, right?" Rick asked him.

"Yeah. Although, I'm on the fence that this is the worst one we've faced, grandpa." Lincoln replied.

"Trust me, he was a just a big blowhard that gave up being a Rick. Ricks are supposed to be rebels, but this douchebag conformed to politics and w-wrecked America. I'm just glad that he's out cold." Rick stated as they started to investigate the several rooms.

"So, where do you think this Rick stashed your portal gun?" Lucy asked as she and Lincoln rummaged through a clothes drawer.

"Probably in some heavily guarded location. We're just g-g-going room-to-room to get some sweet loot." Rick stated as he stole some jewelry from the dresser.

"You're still trying to steal things, Grandpa Rick?!" Lincoln asked incredulously as he and Lucy stopped searching.

"What? It's not like he'll miss any of it. Plus, he's a total douchebag." Rick defended.

"I have no idea what that is." Lucy said.

"Try looking through your older sisters' bathroom supplies. Then, you'll understand." Rick stated as he stopped looting to go back into the hallway.

"How come we're going back?" Lincoln asked.

"Duh! As fun as this is, we need to get back home soon." Rick stated, only for an alarm to activate. They were soon surrounded by the robots and a bruised Douchebag Rick with another remote.

"I'm also a Rick, bitch!" Douchebag Rick commented as he activated the robot's laser cannons.

"Run, kids! Run!" Rick yelled fearfully as the trio started to run away and dodge the robots' laser cannon blasts. Thankfully, the robots all had terrible aim and missed them every time. Eventually, their blasts only succeed in hitting each other and quickly took themselves out. Douchebag Rick stared incredulously at the scene and said softly to himself, "Okay, should not have made these robots when I was drunk."

Rick's Lab 7:50 PM

After arriving at the lab, Lori started to look for the emergency project Rick had shown her. Meanwhile, the remaining Loud sisters were aiding in Lori's search.

"Ugh, this taking forever!" Lynn lamented as she found some weird gadgets under Rick's bed.

"I know! Why didn't Grandpa Rick just label this project?!" Lana added, equally frustrated as she only found a stack of uneaten pancakes. She attempted to eat it herself, but it came to life, which made her drop it in fear.

"Whatever the case, we need to find it. Our parental units will be home soon." Lisa pointed out and soon drew a quizzical expression when she found several boxes of condoms underneath Rick's work desk.

"Why do we even need to look for it, Lori? Didn't Grampa Rick show you where it was?" Lola questioned as she unknowingly threw down an alien porn magazine in frustration.

"Uh, yeah! He literally changes the location of his project triggers every time he shows any to any of us." Lori answered as she quickly put down a strange, frozen creature she found in a drawer from Rick's desk.

"Uh, I need to sit down." Leni stated as she sat on Rick's bed and accidentally activated what the sisters were looking for.

"Project Pheonix-Beta-06 Activated" the synthesized feminine voice stated as the room suddenly worked like an elevator and went deep down into the earth. Eventually, it stopped at a new area that was essentially a bigger lab, but with poorer lighting.

"Leni, you're a genius!" Lana yelled and then drew a sheepish expression. "Wow, didn't think I'd ever say that."

Suddenly, Lori activated the flashlight app on her phone and saw several clones of Rick, herself, her siblings, and her parents that surrounded the entire back wall of the lab; all of which were at different ages and floating in jars of hyper-baric quantum fluid with electrodes attached to their heads and chests. Thankfully, the older female clones had some form of modesty for their chests, but sadly, not their bottoms.

"Whoa! They're all us, dudes!" Luna yelled in astonishment.

"Let's just try not to start a clone war!" Luan joked, which only elicited the same responses from everyone. "Oh, come on! That was funny!"

"So, what's the plan?" Leni asked, which only caused her sisters to slap their foreheads.

"Ugh. We're obviously going to take the clones of Lincoln, Lucy, and Rick to buy some time before our parental units come back." Lisa deduced.

"Exactly. So, does anyone know how to get them out?" Lynn asked, which only caused a barrage of sheepish glances and innocent whistling from her sisters.

"You're kidding me, right?" Lynn incredulously asked.

"Do you know, Lynn?" Lisa asked, which only caused Lynn to join her remaining sisters in their non-answer antics.

"Okay, I think that if we all work together, we might be able to figure this out." Lori suggested as she approached a nearby console.

Dimension 2099-X's White House 12:13 AM

After escaping from the regular defenses, Rick, Lincoln, and Lucy were now running from Douchebag Rick as he started blasting them with his ice gun. In terms of shape, it resembled the portal gun, only missing the knob and red screen, and gaining a blue energy source instead. Thankfully, Douchebag Rick was a very bad shot as he continued to only hit random objects and doors.

"Why is this guy such a bad shot?" Lucy asked, acknowledging his piss-poor accuracy.

"Who knows? He's probably used to shooting deer or Democrats!" Rick yelled defiantly.

"Do we even know where we're running to?!" Lincoln asked fearfully.

Suddenly, Rick stopped running and headed to the left. "It's this way! Follow me!" With that, Lincoln and Lucy followed their grandfather and stopped in front of a large bank-sized safe with several technological locks.

"Okay, how are we going to get in there?" Lincoln asked.

"Hmm, let's see…triple-encryption, DNA analyzer, ass scanner…I think I know how to get past it!" Rick declared as he suddenly pushed Lincoln and Lucy down as his counterpart fired his ice gun that hit the safe and instantly froze it. After a few moments, the safe shattered, which revealed several sums of cash, jewelry, gold, and Rick's portal gun underneath a glass container.

"Ice guns; the fastest way to break into any safe." Rick revealed as he ran inside to get the portal gun, only for several lasers to appear and surround it.

"Sigh. This is bad." Lucy lamented.

Suddenly, Douchebag Rick grabbed Lucy and pointed the ice gun at her head, which made the goth girl don a justified fearful look.

"Hey, let go of her!" Lincoln yelled as he attempted to charge the alternate Rick, only for him to whip him across the face with his ice gun. Lincoln stayed conscious for a few moments before a swift kick from Douchebag Rick finished the job.

"Okay, just let me freeze you and your grandkids will walk out of here alive." Douchebag Rick bargained.

"Oh, that's a total rick move, Douchebag Rick!" Rick angrily stated as he stared down at his alternate self.

"For the last time…I am not a douchebag!" Douchebag Rick declared as he fired wildly at Rick, only to miss every time. Ironically, in his frenzy, he froze the lasers that had prevented Rick from getting his portal gun. As Douchebag Rick continued his assault, Rick nonchalantly retrieved his portal gun and walked calmly over to Douchebag Rick. He quickly delivered another punch, which knocked out a few of Douchebag Rick's teeth.

"You're a total douche." Rick coldly stated to his counterpart before he retrieved a somewhat traumatized Lucy. He gently embraced her and lovingly stroked her hair. "It's okay, Sugar Bat. It's okay."

"Thanks Grandpa Rick." Lucy said gratefully as she fought back her relieved tears. Thankfully, Lincoln had recovered from Douchebag Rick's injuries, which only allowed Rick to similarly embrace him.

After a few moments, Rick smiled at his grandkids and fired the portal gun back home. He allowed Lincoln and Lucy to enter first as he took his counterpart's ice gun. However, this was clearly not mean to be a souvenir as he fired it at Douchebag Rick and delivered a swift stomp to his frozen head, which shattered instantly.

"Don't mess with my family, douche." Rick stated as he threw the ice gun back and entered the portal moments before it closed.

Rick's Lab 7:55 PM

While the remaining sisters debated on how to get the clone pods open, they stopped when a green portal illuminated the dark lab. Soon enough, Lincoln, Lucy, and Rick arrived and they were embraced by the remaining sisters.

"Oh, thank god! We were so worried!" Lori exclaimed.

"Do you need some aspirin, Lincoln?" Leni asked as she noticed his injuries.

"Lucy needs some TLC too." Luna commented.

"Ooh, what happened, Grandpa Rick?" Lisa asked in excitement as she knew that all three would be okay.

"Another story for another day, Little Poindexter. For now, I think that we should…what the?! You activated Project Phoenix-Beta-06?!" Rick asked incredulously.

"Yeah, but only if we could use your clones to trick mom and dad until you came back." Lori defended.

Suddenly, rather than go on some long tirade, Rick only smiled and gave his eldest granddaughter a hug. "You did good, kid. You did good."

Lori was struck by this uncharacteristic display of affection and could only smile as their embrace ended.

"Now then, let's go topside. It's been a long night." Rick said as he let out a yawn and activated the sequence to return to his lab.

Loud House 2nd Floor 8:30 PM

After returning to the house, the kids had just arrived in the living room before their parents came back from their date night. Soon enough, it was time to get ready for bed as Lincoln sat solemnly in his orange pajamas. He sighed to himself in disappointment.

"I don't believe this. I tried to save Lucy, but I got my butt kicked. I'm the worst big brother in the world." Lincoln lamented to himself, only for a familiar voice to dispel the negative vibe.

"That's not true, Lincoln." Lucy said as she somehow revealed herself right behind Lincoln.

"Oh, hi Lucy. I guess you want to tell me how big of a wimp I was, huh?" Lincoln inferred as he sighed softly. "Go ahead. I deserve it."

"Actually, you weren't." Lucy said sincerely, much to Lincoln's surprise.

"Huh? I totally got pulverized by that alternate Rick, Lucy! I'm supposed to be a big brother, but I couldn't do anything to save you." Lincoln said incredulously.

"Lincoln, you might've gotten your butt kicked, but you still tried." Lucy said sincerely as she formed a soft smile. "I know that I come off as cold and unfeeling, but I need you to know that you're my big brother and I love you."

Lincoln blinked away a few tears and embraced his younger sister. "That means a lot, Lucy. Thank you."

"No problem. Now, get some sleep." Lucy said as she left Lincoln's room, but not before giving her big brother a small kiss on the cheek.

With that, Lincoln smiled softly to himself, and slowly drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

AN: And so, the adventure begins. Now, time to recap.

Rick's relationship with the rest of the Loud siblings: yeah, I need to be clear; this Rick is significantly different from the other Rick on the show. He will not hesitate to reassure his grandkids if they're in trouble and is more willing to let them on missions, unlike the handful that Summer has gotten in the show. He's also got more affectionate nicknames for his other granddaughters, but they'll be revealed later.

The clones: yeah, I loved "Big Trouble in Little Sanchez" so I introduced the cloning concept early. Still, it'll be a while before they play any role in the plot again.

Lack of Rick's cursing: yeah, this is mostly because I'm not fond of M-rated stories.

The Loud siblings' reactions to Rick's adventures: yeah, in this timeline, Rick's been living with them since Lincoln was 3, so they've all gotten used to most of his weirdness and his adventures, except for Lily for obvious reasons.

Future: yeah, there's going to be a mix of The Loud House and Rick and Morty episodes, with a few exceptions, namely Raising Gazorpazorp and probably a few episodes of The Loud House that wouldn't work well for the crossover. There will also be some original content.

So, rate, review, and I'll be back with the next chapter as soon as I can.

Next time – Chapter 2: Driving with Rick