Expectations

(Words: 857)

Spoilers: None really.

A/N: Post-finale, in a way.

Finished: 12th of May, 2017

Over the years, he'd been called by many names. One of them, obviously, was his given name. The title 'Doc' came with his profession. But 'Dad'… for a long time, he'd known that 'Dad' would never be one of his titles.

Sure, a long time ago, when he hadn't even met his wife yet… Back then he'd thought he'd grow up, have a career, a house, a family, which included a wife and a child or two. As time went by, his dreams became reality. He'd gotten a career; he had met a beautiful woman, and they had married and had eventually bought a house… but a child never came.

At first they hadn't worried too much. It would happen in God's time. But months became years. A silent suspicion had placed its ugly claws in their hearts and minds. They went to see a specialist. The news was devastating. That perfect picture as they had always imagined it, as they had taken for granted, would never come true.

The worst was seeing his wife's dreams crushed. She had always wanted children; longed for them. And now…

They had had to re-evaluate. Give up their plans, their dreams. No, not give up… give… give to God. The subtle difference might as well have been non-existent for all the difference it made. They had knelt down on their knees, and had given their dreams of children to God. It had felt like giving up. It had hurt like giving up. But as subtle as the difference had appeared at the beginning, the effect was vastly different. The difference between 'up' and 'to' turned out to be peace.

Giving up implied resignation, which could so easily lead to resentment and embitterment. Giving up implied there was no place in life for these longings, for these dreams. It implied the dreams were wrong.

Giving it to God meant quite the opposite; it allowed them to give these dreams a place, where they could acknowledge their existence, but not be dragged down by them.

Oh, they had still cried over dreams unmet. The longing did not magically disappear from one day to the other. There were doubts and questions. Why put this longing in their hearts if it was not meant to be? It almost felt cruel.

But they knew one thing: God was not a cruel God. God always had His reasons. Sometimes, they understood, some they thought they understood, some they refused to understand, and others they simply could not understand. But above all, they knew, God's reasons were always good!

So, they gave it all to God; their dreams, their questions, their hurts, and their doubts. Convinced that, if God did not think their life needed a child, it was good.

The dreams were not wrong. Their visions and expectations of them had just shaped them into a mould that turned out to be the wrong fit for their life.

They received new dreams. The love between them was stronger; it was more than sufficient: it was fulfilling. Not their plans, but God's plans.

This was how he'd come to know, 'Dad' would never be one of his titles.

And then they suddenly had a ten-year-old boy to take care of. In the midst of the tragedy surrounding the events that led up to Clint coming to live with them, they never stopped to think about it.

Lives, plans, dreams – all turned upside down once again.

It was only much later, when that same boy, convinced he was a burden because they had apparently not wanted children of their own, cried out for a father and a mother who'd both passed away, that they understood.

The longing for children, the pain and dreams they had given to God, had been moulded by their Creator to be perfectly Clint-shaped. Oh, they knew they were not his biological parents, nor did they attempt or even want to take that place. But they could not have loved Clint more had he been their own son.

In all those years where they had thought 'children' simply did not fit into God's plans for their life, God had been working on them, working on that desire they had placed in God's hands. A ten-year-old Clint Cassidy was the result.

Harley Johanson had had many titles over the years: his given name, Doctor, sometimes simply 'Doc'. 'Dad' had never, and would never be among them, even after taking Clint in to become part of their family. And that was fine. Clint's 'Doc' was as loving as any 'Dad' would have been.

Harley knew that Clint loved them like parents. He might not have said it as explicitly as such, but he knew.

Still, in all those years, despite sometimes teasing Clint about it, there was one title he'd never even considered. So, he was completely floored when he heard the words:

"Hey Doc, guess what. You're going to be a Granddad."

Completely unexpected, a small extension piece of that longing they had once given to God, now fell into place. Harley, Doctor Johanson, Doc, Granddad. It was beyond expectations.

God's plans truly were best.

A/N: I'm aware this was posted on Mother's Day, even though perhaps it should have been on Father's Day. Still, I thought it was still appropriate. Hope you have (had) a happy Mother's Day!

NEXT UP: F