Welcome to Port Jackson, Pommies!

The 26th of January. A day for all Aussie of the world. The day when good the good, old, blokes from O.S. decided they would stop ignoring the Lucky Country which lead to it being filled it with convicts.

But Australia always loved and hated this time of year. It was hot and dry with UV levels soaring higher every year. All Australia wanted to do was retreat to the southern shores of South Australia or Tasmania and bask/surf in the ice cold waters.

Unfortunately for him, every year he was dragged away by his own government for the Australian of the Year Awards, announcements of the Australia Day Honours list and addresses from the Governor-General (Cosgrove) and the Prime Minister (Turnbull). His only saving grace was the long weekend he and his citizens would receive.

Yet, for Australia, the pros surely outshined the cons. There were always family get-togethers, concerts, competitions, barbies, festivals and fireworks held across the country. Most of the citizenship ceremonies took place on his birthday. While they were bloody long and boring, it was always a beauty to see a new True Blue Aussie Citizen.

That's why the Aussie could tolerate having his Koala stolen, being shoved in a stiff tux and being forced to stand onstage like someone important for hours (he never understood how others did it-it was like hell on earth).

By the time he was done it was nearly pitch black. His house in Sydney was empty, but his ears rung from the constant noise of the crickets.

"Crikey…" Australia muttered, "Where are those bloody lights again?" he groped the wall aimlessly then felt a… squishy objects?!

The lights flicked on and light flooded Australia's eyes

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" A heavily decorated cake was shoved into the personification's face. It had the number 299 and many Australian Idioms like kangaroos and footballs covering the top.

Standing in Australia's doorway were Wy, Hutt River, Seborga, Tonga, Kangaroo Island, Christmas Island, Norfolk Island, New Zealand, Fiji…. Well, a lot of people (micronations and pacific island personifications) Australia knew.

"Why are you all here?" Australia asked with wide eyes.

"Well," New Zealand looked at Australia, patting his sheep, "this is your birthday party."

Australia looked all the people who had come to celebrate his birthday, he thought he was going to just spend it alone. It wasn't as if he had made any plans.

"Are you going to continue to gawk? Or get in and eat the Lamingtons?"

Australia smiled.

"As long as the Kiwi's shouting."

Sorry I haven't posted anything in a while. I was on holidays in the Philippines. Man the food was good! But the last two weeks were hell for my stomach. If you ever go to Bacolod (an island), you should definitely go to my uncle's bar, Trapdoor. It is so cool. I mean like, the entrance is a random spade sticking out of a car park wall. And the servers perform magic tricks!

Anyway, this chapter turned out to be half a monologue and I didn't include England like I should've! L I really wanted to go on about how some people don't like Australia day because they're all like, "IT'S THE DAY WHEN THE POMMIES ARRIVED AND IT LEAD TO THE DESTRUCTION OF THE ABORIGINAL CULTURE!"

Seriously speaking I don't really celebrate Australia Day. I mean, like, I spend time with family and find out who the Australian of the year is 6 months later, but other than that? Nothing.

Also, below are some meanings of the slang used;

Australian Slang

Pommies: Brits, I dunno why their called that.

Bloke: Man, it is only really used by old, white Aussies

O.S.: Over Seas

Lucky Country: Australia, duh.

Barbie: Barbecue

Bloody: Very, this term is not as rude as how the British use it

True Blue: A patriotic Australian, got this meaning from a site because I can't think of any better way to explain it

Gawk: To stare at

Kiwi: New Zealander

Shout: To pay for a round of drinks

Btw, can you guys give me ideas for my next chapter? I need more motivation! Also, does anyone know Australia's Koala's name? Or do I need to name it something like Dropbear or Shelia?