64. Special

With Renesmee fed and changed, our little family returned to the cottage to allow her the chance to look around our home. We located Jacob along the way and renewed our invitation for him to join us.

Bella, sweet and generous as she was, knew that it would make Renesmee happy to bring him along. I just wanted to show off the home that Bella and I shared. Besides, it was better to invite him into our house than to have him skulking about in the forest that surrounded it. He was tied to Renesmee completely, and had been even before her birth. There wasn't much point in fighting their connection.

I didn't mind his presence so much, not when Bella's hands sought mine to hold. Her body inclined in my direction, unconsciously demonstrating that it was me she preferred. Without the influence of our daughter, her desire for me reasserted itself in her body language, in lingering glances and accelerated breaths, in shared smiles that held a promise of more to be shared between us later.

The smiles Bella favored Jacob with now were those of friendship and shared amusement over Nessie's enthusiastic curiosity, and no longer did she gaze upon him as if seeing the sun for the first time after a long and bitter winter.

Renesmee, however, sought his input regarding every discovery she made. While she examined the paintings Esme had chosen to hang on our walls, it was Jacob she wanted holding her, so that she might immediately share her impressions and receive his in return. Even before we made it into the house, she wanted him to smell the flowers in the garden and to touch the moss-covered rocks as if, like her, he had never done so before. He did more than humor her; he brought her attention to the thorns on the rose bushes, to the birds nesting in the trees and the squirrels that leapt from branch to branch.

His genuine enjoyment of her exploration of the world seemed to nullify the last of Bella's irritation with his involuntary imprint on our newborn daughter. She'd forgiven him already of course, but now she seemed to truly accept it, rather than just tolerate it. I supposed it helped that Nessie didn't leave us out. Though she clearly desired his presence in her life, she constantly reached out for Bella and me.

I had been reading minds for most of a century; this was different. She wanted to share her thoughts with me, which made hearing them special, but I was used to my family using my telepathy to communicate with me. There was an intensity to her thoughts that wasn't there in those I simply overheard. More than eavesdropping or engaging in animated conversation, it was an overlapping of souls, undeniable and irrefutable. Renesmee's transparency made Bella's silence all the more maddening.

I would never get used to it - the curiosity, the fascination of not knowing, the smug enjoyment when I guessed right. Her emotions were no longer so guarded since her change, and I loved watching them play across her face or fill her eyes. But to be able to see! To hear! I would have given almost anything.

As promised, Charlie came back that evening after work, and continued to do so in the weeks that followed. Bella opened the door herself now, and they embraced without hesitation. To everyone's surprise, he often brought Seth and Leah's mother along. He figured Sue was in the know just as much as Billy, and having another parent around whose kid was something strange and different seemed to help him. Humans did tend to feel better knowing they weren't alone in whatever things life threw at them.

Jasper was convinced more was going on between the two of them than camaraderie over their kids' supernatural status. With the way their thoughts lingered on each other, I thought he might be right, or at least, that it was leading to them being more than friends. As only a person in love can be, I was pleased for the happiness they found in each other. New love was a balm to soothe away much of the stress that came with life's changes, and Bella's transformation was not the only thing he'd had to deal with of late.

Renee had not been all that helpful, with either Bella's injuries sustained in Phoenix or the months of misery following my betrayal, which made me wonder how well they would have fared if he'd had a partner to help him then, to share with him the struggles of being a parent.

I had to grin at Bella, with whom I got to share such a wonderful fate. Parents. I was a father! I still couldn't believe it was real.

Neither could Charlie, who, after that first day, spent less time pretending to watch the television and more time watching Bella and me with our daughter.

And he could tell that was what she was: our daughter. He didn't know how it was possible, given the time frame, but he couldn't deny that it was true. Every time eyes just like Bella's looked at him from the tiny child she held, he smiled, and she smiled back with her perfect row of tiny teeth.

For now, Renesmee accepted our caution, and as Bella didn't offer her to him to hold, he didn't push it, but their mutual interest in each other didn't wane. At some point, they would both want for more, I was sure.

We regularly measured Renesmee, carefully tracking every millimeter. The conclusion we came to was somewhat reassuring. Aside from a few hiccups here and there, growth spurts that did not seem to correlate with dietary changes or activities, the rate of her growth maintained a steady slowing trend. Despite this, there was no denying the truth. Within days of his first visit, even Charlie could see that Renesmee was growing much too fast.

With that unpleasant realization came an inkling of the reason behind Bella's sickness and quarantine, and how she could have a child now when a month prior she had clearly not been pregnant. He assumed Nessie's growth and development was normal for us, which served to reinstate his irritation with me, that I had dared to risk Bella's life in such a way.

His irritation didn't last long. He had only to look at the child that had resulted from our union to see why we would feel she was worth any cost.

As much alike as Bella and her father were, I was quite glad for one trait they did not share. Especially in the early days of our relationship, Bella's curiosity about me had been unrelenting, and her questions seemingly without end. Charlie, however, affected an utter disinterest, something I thought quite odd given his chosen career. I would have thought a police chief's training and natural inclination for investigating would lead him to poke holes in our story, whatever he might say about preferring to be told only what he needed to know.

And indeed, the cop in him had worried for her safety. While he truly did not want to know the supernatural details of Bella's new life, he was only too familiar with how dangerous the human world could be; how much worse was the supernatural world in which Bella had become involved?

What little he knew of the common myths regarding werewolves and the like were full of strife and danger, and were riddled with human death and misery. Books and movies invariably contained families torn asunder, lives lost, and the creatures involved were never anything good, as he knew the Quileutes were, and as he believed us to be.

The string of human deaths and disappearances that spring had left him with more questions than answers. The animals reportedly involved hadn't seemed natural, and blaming animals had not sufficiently explained the inhuman brutality of the murders. Learning about Jacob, and then seeing Bella's change, had proven to him that there had been more going on than either nature or the hand of man could explain.

Billy's explanations had done little to enlighten him. I would have to remember to thank him for his discretion, someday.

And if perchance Charlie did find out what really killed those hikers, or came across some other inhuman monster endangering the people in his town, what could he do about it? His choices were to report the truth and look as though he'd gone mad, or cover up and protect the ones he should have been sending to jail.

No, he was happier not knowing. Safer. He felt he knew too much already.

I was pleased to see that Charlie was once again at ease in all our company. He wasn't pleased to have been kept in the dark about what Bella and I intended, but there was nothing to be done about it now. Knowing before would have changed nothing, as it changed nothing now. Human or not, we were still the family Bella had chosen.

It was obvious to him how comfortable she was with her choice, which made it harder for him to keep up the angry dad front, even where I was concerned. Bella was fine. She was happy. And that was all any father really wanted for his kid.

Lounging on the couch beside Bella, ignoring the cold temperature and stone hardness of her new body, Charlie's gaze was drawn to the tiny girl Bella held, as entranced by her as we all were. Every now and again, he glanced across to where I sat on Bella's other side to find me watching Nessie too. I supposed in his experience, teenage boys weren't usually so happy to become fathers, but I couldn't have kept the smile off my face if I'd tried.

From day one, I had been unable to keep my eyes off Bella, using other's minds to see her when I couldn't see her for myself. Seeing Bella through Renesmee's eyes was beyond all imagining. Nothing would ever equal the fascination I had for Bella, but Renesmee held my attention regardless of what held hers.

Watching her mind develop was incredible.

She absorbed language at vampire speed. She'd had no frame of reference to understand the words she'd heard and mentally mimicked before her birth, but now, the words we used quickly took on meaning simply from our casual interaction with the world around us. Communication was more than speech; it was also tone, inflection, and body language, which she took in just as readily, so that by Bella's awakening, Nessie had been able to understand my instructions to her regarding Charlie.

But though she understood our spoken words, she preferred not to use them and continued showing us her needs and wants with the images in her mind, rather than bother to take the time to shape the words that would convey the same message.

Nessie didn't ask to be passed back to Bella after Jacob finished feeding her, so it was through his thoughts that I found myself staring into her chocolate eyes - Bella's eyes exactly, down to the questions that filled them - as Nessie stared intently back at him. Her physical features weren't the only things Bella had passed on to our child. Her sense of curiosity knew no limits. Unlike Charlie, she wanted to know every detail of our lives.

I had impressed upon her the need for caution where Charlie was concerned, so it was not until after he left that she began bombarding Jacob with the questions that filled her eyes. With her little hands pressed to his cheeks, she sent image after image. Our family sparkling in the sun. Her skin when she'd laid her arm beside Bella's. Jacob in the sun, warm and brown, quite unlike us. Bella immediately following Renesmee's birth. Bella now.

Charlie. He was not like us, I'd told her, or like Jacob. She could see and smell that Charlie was different, but how, and why?

And why was she, herself, not like any of us?

Perhaps if we were all different from one another, she would simply have accepted that as the way things were, but my family and I all had the same hard, pale skin and cool body temperature. Jacob, Seth, and Leah were alike, but were not like us. Sue and Charlie were different from all of us.

Why? And how? The images that illustrated her questions came too fast for him to even begin to form an answer.

"What does she want?" Bella asked as Nessie stared intently at Jacob and he stared silently back.

"To know everything about everyone," I said with a laugh.

"Oh, is that all?"

Renesmee looked away from Jacob to lock her eyes on me, though she kept a hand on Jacob's cheek. The question in her mind was as evident as the frown line between her eyes. How had I known what she told him? It wasn't the first time she had noticed my gift, but in her overwhelming curiosity about us and her increasing comprehension of our words, she wanted an explanation.

"I heard you. You don't have to touch me to share your thoughts. I can hear you from over here."

Without taking her eyes off me, she flashed an image of the rest of our family.

"No," I said. "Just me."

"Your daddy's special," Bella said, giving my ribs a less-than-gentle nudge with her elbow. I restrained myself from rubbing the spot. "He has a gift like yours."

"Reading minds doesn't make me special. It's just something I can do. It's not any more special than you being able to hear with your ears." I tucked a strand of hair behind Bella's ear as I spoke, caressing the rim with the tip of my finger, just to see her shiver. "You're the special one, Bella."

"Me?" She ducked her chin and shook her head, but her bright red eyes flashed up to meet mine. "No. Self control is just something you showed me was possible. I just had a head start, because of you. It's not like what you can do. Or Alice or Jasper. Or even Carlisle, who didn't have anyone to teach him."

"It's not only your self control, Bella. You were special before I changed you, but you still don't see it, do you?"

If you two keep going back and forth with, "no you're special," "no you are," I think I'm gonna be sick.

I shot Jacob a dirty look, but directed my words to Renesmee. "Sue and Charlie are humans, which is what the rest of us used to be, but aren't any longer."

"Hey, I'm human," Jacob protested when my gesture at everyone in the room included him.

"Says the werewolf," Rosalie said with a snort.

"Most people in the world are human," I continued as if they hadn't spoken. "Those of us who are different are very few in number, so our existence must remain a secret. Even Charlie can't know what we really are, which is a family of vampires. Bella was human when you were born. A vampire changed Carlisle from human to vampire long ago. Then Carlisle changed me, and I changed Bella. That makes you half human, half vampire. As far as we know, the only one to exist."

But it was just a word to her, a label. She had no context to really understand.

"It means he's a blood drinker," Jacob offered.

"Yes. It means my skin is hard and cold. It means I'll never age beyond what I was when Carlisle changed me. And it means I drink blood. Like you. Humans don't. Humans eat food like Jacob."

Her nose wrinkled as she remembered the smell of his breakfast.

"Yes, I know it didn't smell very good to you, but it did to him."

"Yeah it did," he agreed. "And I think you'd like human food if you just gave it a chance. It doesn't all smell or taste the same. Please, Nessie? You're half human, too. Won't you give that part of you a chance?"

She gave him a sigh like the ones she gave when we measured her, but I thought she'd humor him when next he tried to feed her the kind of food he ate. For now, though, she had more interesting things to worry about, like what Rosalie had meant when she'd called Jacob a werewolf.

Trying not to laugh, I said, "It means he turns into a big, smelly dog."

"Wolf," he corrected.

"Werewolves are shape-shifters," I said. "You met Sam's pack before Bella woke. He declined to change to his human form, so you only saw them as wolves, but he usually looks human."

"You've seen Seth as a wolf, " Jacob reminded her. "That's why he healed so fast after Bella injured him. Humans take a long time to heal. Werewolves heal much faster."

Nessie knew Seth, and she remembered us calling the creature who had stopped Bella from attacking Jacob by the same name, but she hadn't seen him change from one form to the other and had not realized the two were one and the same.

Nor that Jacob could do that.

She wanted to see.

"Er, not in the living room, if you please." I stood and reached for Renesmee. He hesitated only briefly before giving her up, but if he was going to turn into a wolf, he couldn't very well do so while holding her in his arms. He flashed her an impish smile and unashamedly strode for the back door.

Without bothering to strip off the clothes he was wearing, Jacob launched himself off the porch, changing into a wolf in mid leap. He loped once around the yard and then back toward us, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth, which was split wide in a wolfy grin.

Special was the word Bella and I used to describe each other. It was also what Jacob said he'd called her when telling Charlie about her. She thought it fit him, too. Her Jacob was special.

Lovely. I stifled my sigh. While I thoroughly enjoyed reading her mind, witnessing her attachment to him was less pleasant. I supposed it was better that the bond between them wasn't one-sided, but I didn't have to like it.

Giggling and clapping at his trick, she reached for him when he padded up the stairs and onto the porch. Her little fingers combed through the thick fur between his ears. He submitted to her caresses with a rumble of pleasure in his chest.

I hadn't wanted Bella anywhere near the wolves when she'd still been human and vulnerable. Time and again I'd told her they were dangerous and unable to control themselves. How strange it was to be holding our daughter now without the least bit of worry while she pet the largest werewolf I'd ever seen. A regular wolf would not have been able to hurt her, but werewolves could kill a full vampire, and if he'd chosen to do so, Jacob could have taken Nessie's hand right off with one snap of the massive jaws she fearlessly inspected. Renesmee touched his huge, sharp teeth, curiously ruffled his fur, and looked into eyes she knew well, recognizing her friend in them.

Abruptly, she flung herself forward to wrap her arms around his neck as far as they would reach, burying her face in his fur so she could inhale his woodsy scent. I only retained my hold on her because I saw her intent before she moved, but her grip was strong enough that she could have hung there without support.

When she let him go, she grinned up at me.

"If you say so," I said with a shrug. "I think your mother smells better."

Jacob sneezed and indulged in a dog-like shake of his massive head.

"Jacob thinks we're the stinky ones. We think he is. It's all about perspective, Nessie. You don't quite smell human or vampire, so everyone thinks you smell nice."

Speak for yourself… Jasper thought. He still found it difficult to have living beings in the house whose blood he was not allowed to drink, to say nothing of the constant danger of exposed blood. I appreciated his caution around her, but I didn't fear for Renesmee's safety so much as I might once have. His control was better since seeing what Bella was capable of. Simply knowing it was possible to resist made doing so easier. Nothing had changed for him physically, but his view of the world and of his place in it had shifted.

And that, well, that changed everything.

"Like I said: perspective."