Author's Note:

For those of you who may be aware of what is going on in the world, I needed to do something - anything - to take my mind away from it all.

I also needed a break from writing serious Tōshirō for Catalyst. That Tōshirō is seriously mad at me.

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"You know, I kind of envy your hair," Karin said out of the blue.

Tōshirō arched an eyebrow at her. She was sprawled across the couch on her stomach, one leg half-dangling off the side, the other kicked back up foot flexing. She had one hand propping her head up, and the other was wedged into the couch cushions.

There was no way that position was comfortable, but Karin insisted it felt natural.

Women.

She lifted her head to consider him, and Tōshirō knew she was thinking of something diabolical from the way she cocked her head to one side and her eyes narrowed.

"Yup," she said to herself. "Totes jelly."

Then she turned back to that infernal tablet device thing she was addicted to as though he wasn't even in the room.

Tōshirō felt a fear that only Kurosaki Karin could invoke. Sweat beaded across his forehead.

Surreptitiously, Tōshirō looked at the clock. Nope. It would be hours yet before dinner plans. Perhaps he could go for a run. Or polish Hyōrinmaru. Or head over to the barracks to check on the members on weekend duty. Surely there was paperwork to do. He could maybe get started on filling out the forms he will be needing for the next month. Or maybe Mayuri had a new project of interest to check out.

All Tōshirō knew was he had to get out of there, now.

"Okie dokes, I'll see you later," Karin suddenly announced, rolling off the couch with a graceless thud. "Want anything from the store?"

"Uh," was all Tōshirō managed to utter, mind still stuck on plans for escape.

"More Amanattō. Got it. And do we have any more coffee? No? Damnit. I hope they have some. Why is it that we can get every kind of alcohol known to mankind here, but not some damn coffee? You sure you only want more amanattō? Not watermelon? I heard there was fresh watermelon."

"Uh," Tōshirō tried again.

Karin swooped in to kiss him on the cheek. "Bye now. See you soon." She turned to leave, then stopped short to whirl around and ruffle his hair. "I really do love your hair, you know."

The door shut.

Tōshirō closed his eyes and counted to ten. When he opened his eyes, his hands were still trembling.

Shit, was all he could manage to think. Someone save me.

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[bleach]

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Tōshirō stalled. Took his time. Dawdled. Loafed off. Procrastinated. Never mind that he had probably completed all the work he had planned for next week into the week after, it wasn't about productivity. It was about avoiding home.

Besides, Karin knew where he was. Sort of. He did leave a note, after all. So, ok, all he scrawled were the words "Went Out". But it served the purpose of letting her know he had left deliberately… right? So she wouldn't think he had left in an emergency and needed to go to him.

Tōshirō let out a deep sigh. What was he doing, trying to hide? It wasn't as though Karin couldn't pinpoint his location from anywhere in any world on a whim.

Tōshirō eyed the bookshelf he had rearranged for the umpteenth time. He was being ridiculous. He needed to go home. Face Karin. After all, how much damage could she do?

Memories of glitter and cotton wool, hoards of bunnies, his-and-hers halloween costumes, and pickle-tasting festivals drifted to the forefront of his mind.

Right. She could do a lot of damage.

Dinner plans were for 6. It would be best to arrive home just in time to change and leave without being late.

Tōshirō grabbed a broom and headed out into the courtyard.

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[bleach]

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He was standing in front of the door, steeling himself to open it and walk in. The palms of his hands were damp, and Tōshirō worried that he would drop the bag he carried containing Karin's precious coffee beans that he had been saving for a special occasion.

Tōshirō had lived long enough to know that sometimes you just did nice things for people you loved.

Or because you were looking to bribe them.

You're being ridiculous, he chided himself. Just open the damn door and-

He froze, body taut, senses straining. Then he heard it again. Karin crying.

His world focused down to just her. Before he even registered it, he was halfway through the front entrance barreling towards the sound of her crying.

"Karin!" He cried desperately as he skidded around a corner. "What's wro-"

The crying morphed into a shriek as a naked Kurosaki Karin slipped in the shower. She went down, hard, managing to tangle herself in a towel as she hit the floor.

"Go away!" She wailed.

"Karin?" Tōshirō asked in panic.

The wet, disheveled figure on the bathroom floor just cried louder, pulling a bunched up towel further over herself.

"Don't look at me," Karin yelled over the sound of the shower. "Just go away."

Like hell he would. Tōshirō knelt down and reached for her. "Karin, what is wrong? What happened?"

She shrunk further away from him, her words barely coherent. "Nothing! Just go away."

She wasn't hurt. Tōshirō knew that much. He would have felt it if it had been a serious injury - and Kurosaki Karin, who almost never cried, would never shed tears for anything less than something grievous. Was it someone in her family? But Tōshirō had been out and about all day. He would have heard, probably sooner than Karin who had ventured into Rukongai, if anything had happened.

So what was it?

"The hell I'm going to leave you," he bit out. "You're crying. Somebody hurt you. Somebody made you cry," and Tōshirō knew his own voice cracked at that word. "Karin, please. I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong."

The only sounds were of the shower, and Karin's muffled moaning into the towel.

Gingerly, Tōshirō reached for Karin again.

Then stopped.

And stared.

"K-Karin, why are your fingers purple?"

Karin struggled away from him, pushing herself as far back into the shower as she could manage. "I said go away!" She sounded frantic, now.

Something wasn't right. Tōshirō stared at her bunched up form, now noticing the splatter of purple and blue ink over her body, and the… clumps of hair? that ringed the drain.

"Tōshirō! I said-" Karin started to insist.

He yanked the towel away.

Karin just wailed harder.

It took Tōshirō several moments to find his voice. "What did you do?" He finally asked with sick fascination.

Karin had her face buried in her hands. She mumbled something unintelligible.

Tōshirō prodded her. "Karin, you can't just sit here forever."

She mumbled something that sounded like, "Just watch me."

Tōshirō sighed, and turned off the shower. He handed her the towel, which she snatched from his grasp.

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[bleach]

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Hell butterflies sent informing Yoruichi and Yuzu that they were unfortunately not going to be able to meet for dinner, Tōshirō turned back to the task at hand.

Armed with the largest towel he could find, Tōshirō marched back to the bathroom, where Karin - true to her word - was still hiding.

"Karin…" he said warningly. "Don't make me do this."

She shook her head.

He sighed.

Careful to plant his feet where it wasn't wet, Tōshirō wrapped the sodden, naked mess up in the towel he held and forcibly carried her into the bedroom.

Karin just hiccuped and clung to him.

Tōshirō sat her down on the bed. "Now do you want to talk about it?" He asked.

Karin gripped the towel against her chest, and hiccuped again.

Somehow, that did it. Tōshirō's self control broke. He started to laugh.

"Is it… really that bad?" Karin asked after Tōshirō had calmed down to just barely muffled snickers.

That just set him off again.

"I'm sorry," he managed to gasp out. And he really was, kind of. Except that, for once in his lifetime, the joke was on Karin. And evidently self-inflicted by Karin. It was just too priceless for words. Even if… even if it resulted in her like this...

He tried to center himself. Eyes closed, deep breaths.

I got this, he told himself.

Slowly, he opened one eye, then another.

Kurosaki Karin sat on the bed glaring at him, her once gloriously silky, long black hair now a shaggy mess of yellows, blues, purples and greens. She had purple and blue splattered across her face, neck and chest. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, and her lower lip ragged from her habit of chewing on it when stressed.

"I love you," he told her sincerely. It seemed like a good enough place to start.

Karin seemed to shrink further into herself. "You're just saying that," she said, voice wobbling.

He went to her side and sat down, reaching out to grab her cold, clammy hand.

"I'm not saying you don't look hilarious," he informed her as solemnly as he could, squeezing her hand when she let out another groan. "Just that I love you regardless."

Karin bit her lower lip. "Even if I'm hideous?" She ventured.

"I won't go that far…" Tōshirō said, voice taking on a teasing quality usually employed by Karin. "But you aren't exactly going to land the cover on this year's Shinigami Women's Association calendar looking like that."

Karin managed a weak smile. "I never liked that thing anyway. Putting people like me side by side with Rangiku and Kotetsu. What were they thinking?"

He nudged her with a shoulder. "I just buy that thing because Matsumoto makes me. Then I pull your month out and stick the rest in the trash."

"Because I would have your head, otherwise." She reminded him.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," he told her fondly.

They lapsed into silence. Tōshirō's pants started to get soggy and uncomfortable with all the water dripping off Karin's body.

"But seriously," Tōshirō finally said. "What did you do? What were you thinking?"

"So…" She stalled.

"Uh huh?"

"So I was browsing pinterest on my iPad… and I saw all this pretty hair… and it's not fair that everyone has cool hair around here and I just have this boring black. Then I looked at you. And I realized that if I just bleached my hair, and made it like yours, then I could dye it any colour I wanted. And I saw these instructions on pinterest to create this awesome blue purple mermaidy ombre color, and I thought that would be so cool 'specially 'cause no one in soul society has ombre hair…"

After all this time, Tōshirō was still not accustomed to these words that Karin used. But judging from what he did understand, he got the gist of this story.

"So you tried to do it yourself," Tōshirō concluded for her. "Using this pin rest thing."

Karin scrunched her face up. "So the store didn't exactly sell hair dye like they do in the world of the living, but bleach is just bleach, right? Whether it's for cleaning or hair. So I figured if I just mixed it with water like you do when you have to wash clothes it'll be good enough. And since I saw on pinterest how people use koolaid to dye their hair, I figured food dye would work good enough…"

He groaned. "Karin…"

"I know, I know!" She cried, throwing her hands up. "I just got so excited, and I wanted to look pretty. And I haven't seen Yoruichi in so long and I just thought…" She sniffled loudly.

"You're always pretty," he told her truthfully.

"You're just saying that because you're stuck with me," she pointed out miserably.

"That too," he said drolly.

That earned him a sharp elbow, but at least she stopped sniffling.

"What are we going to do?" Karin asked. "Do you think this is something Yuzu can fix?"

Tōshirō tugged at a lock of hair, and dropped it in surprise when the entire chunk came away from her head. "I think this is something only scissors can fix."

Karin's eyes went wide.

"It's ok," he said, trying to be comforting. "I've been cutting my hair for ages. I know what I'm doing."

Karin scooted away so suddenly that she fell right out of the bed. "It's ok," she said frantically. "I'll just visit Yuzu. Or- or just shave it all off or something."

Tōshirō gaped at her. "What did I say wrong? You said you loved my hair."

Karin stuck her tongue out at him. "I loved your hair color," she clarified. "I just always figured your hair was that poofy because… well… uh…"

"We could have matching hairstyles," he offered helpfully.

She flung the towel at him. "I hate you," she informed him with as much dignity a damp, naked person sprawled on the floor could muster.

Tōshirō just smiled widely. "I love you, too."