Story Notes: This will evolve to be very different from the canon plot and I take liberties with a few aspects from canon.

Reviewers have said they are reading this story with apprehension and worry because of Sakura's young age and they believe Kakashi will be predatory. This is not the case for their relationship, as it is a long-developing relationship without romantic or sexual implication in its origin. However, there is a lot of uncomfortable material involving Sakura and other characters that I handle as tactfully as I can. There are characters in the story who do mistreat Sakura while she is a child, but I think this should be expected on behalf of readers considering the culture of the manga world. Any child serving in a military from twelve years of age, or in Kakashi's case four, is a victim. I know fandom culture likes to aggressively check authors and content creators, and sometimes rightfully, but there needs to be some understanding of context. This story is my attempt to look at certain characteristics of this ninja culture that are not fully explored in the manga, or at best mentioned briefly and then glossed over and at worst celebrated.

Please prepare yourself accordingly, as I do not want to upset anyone, but also understand I am trying my best to be tasteful while unpacking this story and working through unpleasant issues and topics.

And I guess I have to say this, but I do not endorse things in this story and the original manga such as child soldiers, manipulation, mass murder, human experimentation, torture, and forced servitude. I do not condone mature and/or sexual relationships between adults and children. As a reader, understand that I, as a writer, understand these situations do happen and that they can and do have long-lasting physical, mental, and emotional consequences. I will not write such scenes explicitly. The point of such scenes is not titillation or exhibitionism. They only further explore detrimental consequences of accepting children as military operatives. The fact of the matter is that adults prey on and exploit children in this manner and I do not think the Naruto-verse is exempt from that, but rather potentially, unfortunately, well suited for it when we look at other canonic instances of personal and systemic abuse.

If you are still apprehensive, then I suggest the back button. I cannot assure in every case that I will perfectly write about any of these topics. I'm just an individual using a creative outlet to explore my own perspective concerning certain topics and choosing to share the results with other people who are willing to tolerate my amateur endeavour.

Leave your feedback as you read and let me know how I'm doing.

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a fire breathes its last, say hello to the ash

-o-

Kakashi had seen the girl in question earlier that morning and his first impression was that she had been wearing the same outfit for several days straight.

Unusual thing for the Haruno Sakura he remembered from Team Seven. Kakashi didn't know if it were different in a positive way. Perhaps her new disinterest in personal presentation was due to a budding drive she had discovered in the Chuunin Exams. He thought more likely it was from the mounting desperation she might have felt in the months since Sasuke and Naruto's sudden departures from the village. There was less time for laundry and ironing and styling with team mates like those two.

Well, former teammates, if he were being blunt.

But a newly solitary genin – a discarded remnant of that loose fitting "team" – did not make a prime operative for such a complex and intimate mission like the one currently being proposed. That was Kakashi's opinion.

Nara Shikaku disagreed, and he reaffirmed to those in the room, "her sincere vulnerability is exactly what makes her that much more appropriate for this mission."

There were four of them in the Office of the Godaime Hokage: Kakashi, Shikaku, Shizune, and Tsunade-sama. From his observations, Kakashi deduced the party was equally divided on the issue. Kakashi was disgruntled at the fact Tsunade seemed to be considering the prospect of placing her student in a snafu scenario.

As she had assembled this meeting, then he figured she was close to authorizing the mission.

"Haruno is bright, talented..." Shikaku went on.

"Lonely. Insecure," Shizune interrupted the other man, quiet but firm in her tone. She was on Kakashi's side; she knew how devastating the mission would be for Sakura.

"If she is as unreliable as you are insinuating then maybe we should pull her from serving the village altogether," was Shikaku's quick response, impatient and unfamiliar with the resistance he was receiving. He looked to their leader, inquisitive and plainly goading. "I know we're going for the image of an incompetent and malleable student, but have you really chosen your apprentice so poorly?"

"Don't be glib, brat, it's unlike you." Tsunade was shifted to one side in her seat, jaw resting on a palm as she glared at something indiscernible. Her thoughtful silence was increasingly worrisome. To the baited question, she said finally, "no, I'm confident in my assessment of Sakura. Not everyone can acknowledge it, but she's stubborn and at times loyal to a fault."

"She's blindly loyal to certain things," Kakashi clarified, thinking of Sakura's former attachments. "It's not always been a good quality."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow and he sensed a bitterness seeping from her. "From what I have gathered you ignored her development as a kunoichi due to prejudiced bias. I did not invite you to this meeting as a character witness."

Kakashi breathed a little more roughly from his nose – not an insulted huff, certainly – but that was the only reaction he allowed.

"You're here because I want you to be her contact," Tsunade said, assuming correctly the question he had been about to ask. "You can then relay information to Shizune. More opportunities for tainted information and a lag in relevance, but this needs to stay buffered. As it is, Danzo has little interest in you these days."

Ignoring her barb, Kakashi redirected his energy. "How do we know he's recruiting? Someone her age, he probably thinks she's too old to –"

"He had someone try to scout my son."

Three people uncomfortably shifted their gazes to Nara Shikaku. The man had his shoulders slouched down and he took a moment find a pack of cigarettes from a pocket on his vest. Waiting for a resigned eye-roll and a nod of approval from the Fifth, he put a stick to his mouth and lit it for a slow inhale and exhale of smoke.

"When was Shikamaru approached?" Shizune asked, sounding more sympathetic than earlier.

"After his promotion," Shikaku said. "It was a minor thing and Shika didn't bite being his IQ is a few ticks above the recruiter's, told the guy, to uh - 'buzz off,' let's say. But now I know for certain the old dog is sniffing around for new blood."

This was news to Kakashi - he had assumed ANBU ROOT had been out of the poaching game for a few years. It was unpleasant realizing he had been wrong about that, and it did explain Shikaku's sudden desire for action. Nothing stirred an honorable father so much as a threat to his family.

"Danzo would have use for someone with medical training," Shikaku started to lay out. "Haruno's lost her team – sorry Kakashi – and she's a fast learner who's eager to prove herself. She's in orbit to the Fifth. The girl is just as promising a find as any, and since I have an idea of how they operate at an entry stage, we can set up a situation to draw their interest in her."

"If he is still actively expanding his control and numbers, then..." Shizune said. "Maybe now especially that Tsunade-sama is Hokage..."

Kakashi tensed. He could see how the tide was turning. Shizune had been out of the village for too long, was starting to accept there was more trouble from Danzo than was acceptable. Enough to sacrifice a pawn for the long play.

Danzo was a problem, Kakashi agreed with that; the village didn't need a dogmatic usurper taking any ground.

Tsunade dropped her hand from her chin to the desktop, sighed. "I'm not going to make a decision on this yet."

For a moment, a bit of reason seemed to have returned to his commander and Kakashi felt a blip of triumph. It died when he studied her face more closely, saw the way her hand sought out the pendant that used to sit between her collarbones. Nothing was there for her grip to find and the automatic, unfilled movement made a crease appear between Tsunade's brow.

Tsunade was the legacy of the First and she was not going to idle by as her village splintered away. She could not put the responsibility off any longer.

She was going to act.

-o-

The mission briefing had not yet happened, and even when it did, Kakashi understood that Sakura would not be aware of his role yet. Actually, the mission was going to be presented in a very vague manner and he had a problem with that, but understood the reasoning for it. She could only give away as much information as she knew, and at this stage in the operation, there were things that needed to be kept from her.

He wasn't pleased with the situation, but at least he wasn't being hurt by it – not like Sakura was at the moment.

They were passing each other on a street, seemingly by chance but actually by his careful orchestration, and she had seen him, waved immediately with a greeting. Kakashi had looked from his reading to glance at a spot in her general direction, feigned 'feigning not to see her,' and kept moving. A few weeks prior, he had done something similar – let her see him, try to reach out to him, only for Kakashi to brush her off.

All in the name of duty.

Part of the success behind a program like the one Danzo ran had to do with profiling the right type of person to indoctrinate. The very young, the desperate, those who were in need. The set-up at the moment was to make Sakura some of all those things by emotionally isolating her.

Shikaku, acting as the Commanding Officer for the mission, had been manipulating Sakura's connections over the past several months. He had suggested for Tsunade to give more missions to her parents, longer hours in solo training, less interactive tasks at the medical facilities and hospital. He had even managed to get her friends to avoid her through the guise of training and missions.

It was a show for Danzo but it was a reality for Sakura, pushing her to an ever more pathetic and enticing point of weakness. Little fissures in her stability that promised a satisfying break and the chance to build her back up in a new image.

Kakashi was meant to be the final straw for Sakura. He had been purposefully keeping distance until she seemed to be nearing the end of her endurance, only to obviously blow her off.

Shikaku wanted her appeal to Danzo to be sincere, and in the most despicable way, it had been working. Kakashi had caught onto someone circling her. They were there for intelligence and not yet for contact, but that would come soon enough.

He passed her on the street without a hitch in his stride, and from his peripheral vision saw the way Sakura's hopeful wave twitched before she slowly lowered her hand.

The cracks were getting wider.

The next time they met Kakashi was seated by himself in a sentimental place for Team Seven. When Sakura felt particularly sentimental, she would take a long route home by the ramen stand Naruto always begged them to visit. Kakashi had been trailing her earlier and seen her start to head in this direction of the city and made his move.

Also watching Sakura, and with no obvious awareness of Kakashi, was another nin. They had been watching her more often, more closely, in the weeks since Kakashi and Sakura had crossed paths last. They spied on her from afar, and although Kakashi and others suspected some of the clans had been infiltrated by Danzo's reach, the technique wasn't something he recognized.

While they relied on jutsu for their work, Kakashi was taking the mundane and exceptionally useful tactic of acting and cultivating means to a specific end.

If his plan worked, then that evening the spy would likely make their move as well.

Kakashi had his mask down, his book put away, empty seats next to him, and he looked temptingly approachable. If she missed seeing him there, or if she decided to continue on her way without stopping, then he had alternative actions he could take.

Sakura proved to fall into nostalgia that evening, and the opportunity of seeing her old sensei eating alone in Ichiraku was too much to ignore. She was predictable in that way.

Less predictable was her stride upon approaching him, the way she slapped money down on the counter to cover his meal, and her defiant stare at him. Kakashi's mask was back in place by the time she reached him, but he doubted Sakura's ire was in relation to that.

He didn't intend to say anything, but Sakura was quick to talk.

"Are you mad at me?" She almost demanded.

This reaction was low on his least of possibilities and he hadn't anticipated the question at all. Coolly, Kakashi glanced at her, still refusing to face her, and made a show of tidying his area and utensils as he finished his meal.

"I can understand other things," Sakura said, "like Ino being busy. My mom needing to go back on active duty after the Invasion. Both my parents working long and weird hours. I can understand a lot of those things. But you – you're ignoring me."

Kakashi made another detached show of sighing, being bothered, and slowly getting up from his seat. He waved a thanks to the woman behind the bar and started ambling out of the restaurant. Sakura was on his heels.

"You know you left without warning to train Sasuke for the exams, right? Took off without mentioning to me where Naruto would be, remember?"

He hadn't thought about it very much, but she wasn't wrong. Although, he could've sworn he sent Pakkun out with a message to her. ...Had meant to, at least.

"And you know, I should also mention that time you lied to me about the curse mark. You said that to spare my feelings, but you lied to your student and a team mate, so that's not clearly something to put in the 'pro' column."

How long had she been keeping this pros and cons list for him?

"You never got around to teaching me any genjutsu! You said I might have a talent for it – you're supposedly good at it – and you never taught me anything."

They were walking towards a bar down the street, though he wouldn't guess Sakura suspected as much. He let her continue her rambling, not knowing its culmination, but not concerned with it either. It didn't matter what she said – only that she was crushed by the end of their interaction.

"There's a rumor, too, that you didn't even want me to go up for promotion at all. You just wanted it for the boys. Thanks for that. A lot of faith there." Pressing her lips together, Sakura frowned and waited for a response.

Kakashi was mildly curious as her steps slowed. They were along the wall to the bar where he planned to split away and Sakura seemed to have finally caught on to his destination and intent to shake her.

"Look!" She nearly shouted, but it was like a loud sort of exasperated whisper. An angry hiss. Sakura planted her feet, crossed her arms over her chest, first glared at the sky and then sighed, dropping her gaze to the ground. She was both annoyed and sad. "I'm sorry."

Kakashi stopped a few feet from the entrance, his first acknowledgment Sakura had said anything or that she was there.

She took a steadying breath, and on that same exhalation, "I never said anything to you beforehand and I'm just... I'm sorry I left you, too."

Oh, so she had been thinking like that this whole time.

He felt he had to say something.

"Sakura," and her name was heavy from his lips, "when you approached our Hokage, I had already put in for reassignment."

Kakashi gave her a bland smile, the one he reserved for false promises and cheering her up. How many times had he given this girl this particular facade of a smile? How many more times would she get to know false faces?

Turning from her again, he ducked into the age-restricted establishment. He didn't need to see her to know how the comment affected her, Kakashi felt the hit land. Could have heard something shattering as it did.

-o-

Sakura didn't want to go home.

Her father was on a week long assignment outside of the village and her mother was recently back from another mission, likely still asleep and recovering from the renewed strains of active duty. Sakura wanted her to rest without any interruptions.

She left Kakashi at his sinkhole of a drinking spot and wandered the streets of her childhood neighborhood to pass time. The next shift Sakura had was working in the labs the following afternoon and her morning training was an independent exercise. She could afford her indulgent moping around the village as the night settled in. It was a good way not to feel alone when she was very much alone.

A bench across from a stretch of nightlife stands and venues served as her observation perch. The sounds of relaxation were a nice soundtrack for her as Sakura cleaned and oiled her weapons after the day's use. It was almost like she was a part of the conversations that echoed her way, almost like she could laugh with the stories and jokes she overheard.

She wasn't veiling hurt feelings or anything like that by vicariously living through strangers. Definitely not. It wasn't like she was using their merriment to shield the noises gurgling in her throat from the stinging in her eyes.

"Oiling a brand new tanto?"

Sakura clamped down on the tightness in her chest and looked up from her work to find that someone actually was talking to her. Smartly, she replied, "huh?"

Seeing her face, the boy talking to her dropped his jaw. "Hey! You're Haruno Sakura, aren't you? The apprentice to the Hokage?"

Blood rushed to her face and Sakura nodded. The boy was her age, a shinobi, and he was sort of familiar. He reminded her of Sasuke, except that the boy had expression almost like he was...impressed? By her?

Sakura made a half-hearted attempt to straighten her shoulders, to meet the image befitting Tsunade's student. "That's me, yes."

"Haven't had a chance to use that tanto yet, though..." the boy said, and he sat on the arm of Sakura's bench. She thought it was a bit rude of him, saying that, but then he made a thoughtful noise. "You're learning her medical ninjutsu – that's what everyone is saying. So learning things like the tanto might not be a priority... That can happen when you work with a special ninjutsu teacher. Mine is definitely that way..."

She was uncertain about the boy, but he seemed friendly, and the last thing he said caught her attention. Sakura tried not to sound too interested, "are you also someone's apprentice?"

"Kind of. It's just me and my sensei." The boy lifted a shoulder. "It's hard being in a two-man, mixed level team sometimes."

Sakura thought back to Team Seven and agreed. Having team mates on a different level was frustrating at the least. Tormenting and debilitating at the worst of times. Studying under the Hokage was an inspiring environment, but she often felt the sting of inadequacy in her mentor's presence.

Unwilling to share those thoughts, she said, "I didn't know that it was a common setup."

"Not all of us are suited for team learning, I guess." The boy gave her a smile, his eyes and lips closed and it was a shy attempt, Sakura thought. And then, hopping back to his feet, he was taking off with a wave. "Any way, cool meeting you."

"W-wait!" Sakura got to her feet, too. Her day had been a long one, she looked and felt miserable, but she also felt a building emotion in her middle and she had to say something. "What's your name?"

Pointing to himself, he asked, "me? I'm Sai."

The name was new to her and she didn't recognize him from the academy. Everything about Sai was a little stiff, rehearsed, shy with uncertainty despite his confidence in approaching her. And yet, Sakura thought they might get along. She hoped they might get along.

She needed someone.

"If you..." Sakura said, licking her lips for the dryness there, "I don't know if you'd want to, but maybe we could train together sometime?"

Sai smiled again. "Sure, I guess. I'll see you around."

The feeling in her middle swelled.

Sakura beamed, alone once more.

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-o-