Hello, everyone! Here is the sixteenth chapter of Healing Demons. Please review and enjoy! :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. All rights belong to Masashi Kishimoto only.

SUMMARY: Sakura was a diligent medical student with dreams and aspirations of greatness. Sasuke's dreams had been crushed by a dark past, leaving him broke and depressed. What happened when these two crossed paths and their lives got interwoven together? Modern world AU

"What are you doing out here all alone?" a voice rang from behind. Sakura's spine stiffened as it caught her off guard, lips still tastefully wrapped around the plastic lid of her piping hot coffee. It was increasingly difficult to feel things these days, with facing the impending loss of one of her closest friends, so when Sakura ordered her beverage to enjoy on her much needed break, she chose the option that could scald her. Whatever works when you're supposedly on the clock. Turning slowly to the intruder of her momentary self-loathing solace, her eyes landed on a white lab coat and she could immediately identify them as Dr. Senju.

Glancing up at her superior, coffee still at her lips and not quite meeting Tsunade's gaze, Sakura took a large gulp of her coffee, heavily sugared and no longer bitter on her tongue, and set the paper cup carefully beside her on the metal bench. Sakura found it difficult to find her words, even to answer such a simple question. "I needed some...time, and privacy."

"I suppose I understand," Tsunade replied, crossing her arms across her chest and making no move to join her protege. Years of wisdom lined the older woman's cheekbones and tugged at her eyes like heavy stones. She had clearly seen some good times, some bad times, and some truly ugly times as well; she wore her trauma as a badge of honor and dared anyone to cross her. Sakura could only dream of such strength. "There are times when I need some alone time myself, far away from the insanity that is hospital life."

Sakura hummed in response, not knowing where this was going, or even why her mentor had come searching for her. Yes, it would make sense to keep a watchful eye on her dutiful student, lest she commit some grave error. But, Sakura found herself sitting alone outside in the abandoned courtyard, surrounded by blooming trees and serene silence. She had spent so much time recently listening to her raging thoughts that the echoes of chatter and beeping of heart monitors clawed at her relentlessly. Instead of agreeing, though, Sakura merely replied, "I'm not one to run away from things, but I really needed to clear my head. It's all so overwhelming."

"Just imagine having to deal with ten of these types of cases at once; it's not an easy task. Heck, it's gargantuan. But you're the one who signed up for this line of work," Tsunade chided, stern but thoughtful at the same time. She was the type to tell it like it was, no matter how harsh and unsettling the truth may be. It was something Sakura treasured, but also anxiously feared at the same time. Too many hard-hitting truths all at once, and she might not come out on the other side. She turned away from her mentor, picking up her cup to take another sip of her cooling coffee and listening as Tsunade continued. "Listen, I will be here every step of the way. But if you're going to sit here taking just this one patient's case this hard, maybe this isn't the right choice for you."

"But she's Chie! She's my friend!" Sakura let slip from her lips as she strained her tired legs to stand up and whip around, leaving her coffee forgotten on the bench. Flabbergasted by her sudden outburst, to Doctor Tsunade Senju of all people, Sakura nearly gasped and let her eyes bulge out of their sockets; nearly, because she had to prove she could keep her composure. Now, of all times, she had to. Taking a deep breath and avoiding the menacing glare most likely emanating from Tsunade, Sakura bowed her head in shame and added, "I'm sorry. It's just, how can you compare losing a patient to losing a loved one? They seem monumentally different."

Tsunade remained silent for a heartbeat, then dejectedly sighed, dropping her hands to her sides and coming around to the other side of the bench that Sakura was on, shoulders squared and posture polished. She wordlessly lowered herself on the left side of the bench, and patted her bare, manicured hand on the cold metal bench. Sakura, who internally breathed a sigh of relief that she had not squandered her entire career in the span of a few seconds, silently followed, slowly squatting on the edge of the seat. She made it a note to hang on every word that came from Dr. Senju's lips. "There is a balance, you know? There is a balance you need to learn to maintain your sanity."

Sakura remained silent, but managed to drag her eyes up to Tsunade's honey browns, latching onto the sorrow that lingered in each ripple within her irises. True sorrow.

"I will not discredit your tragedy by any means. But, there is a line that you have to draw for yourself. Once someone walks through the doors of this hospital, they are a patient. They are under our care, up until they leave. And they will leave, in one way or another. If you do not separate your personal feelings from your work, it will haunt you, and weigh you down from patient to patient," Tsunade started, propping her right arm on the back of the bench behind Sakura and keeping her left safely in her lap. She had seen it all, been through hell and back more than thrice, and she still knew that she would never stop learning. Heck, she may even learn a thing or two from Sakura along the way. But, this was her time to be there. She couldn't let the girl crumble.

"They will follow you around like ghosts, reminding you of everything that went wrong, what could have possibly gone right, what you couldn't have possibly fixed. This will torture you even more when these ghosts bear the faces of your loved ones. Chie certainly wouldn't want you dragging her around with you if it would make you miserable; she'd want to only bring you happiness and peace. I know, because that's what all loved ones would want." Tsunade finished, continuing to pointedly gaze at the younger medic. She refused to drop that eye contact until she knew for sure that her point got across, especially when it certainly wasn't easy to digest.

It sucked that there had to be a line in the sand, and it certainly was not a life skill Sakura had under her belt.

Sakura bit her lip and averted her gaze, looking down at the hands that picked at each other in her lap. She didn't want to come off as combative, or whiny, or any combination of the two. But she croaked out, "But I try to connect with people, and I feel like that can't happen when you put a wall between us and them. They are coming to us for our help, but it's not a factory line; there has to be a...a...a warmth that comes out of their trauma. There has to be something I can do, even when my hands are tied!"

"I never said you couldn't get close to your patients, Sakura, especially if that's who you are, how you take care of your patients," Tsunade continued, voice steady and full of perceptful understanding. If she was bothered by Sakura's withering, trembling voice, or cowardly aversion, she never indicated, rather kept continuing. "But you can't blame yourself when things go awry, and when you're personally invested in something, you'll agonizingly go over everything that you could have done to stop the inevitable, and it eats at you day in and day out. The second you start blaming yourself for something as unstoppable as death, there's no returning from that slippery slope."

"I became a doctor to save people, to fight against those unbeatable odds for those who couldn't," Sakura whispered as she dejectedly looked towards her coffee, now probably far too chilled to enjoy properly in the crisp spring air. She wanted to sleep anyway; she wanted to sleep her worries, her fears, her failures away into the night, finding solace in the darkness that confined her, cocooned her, soothed her. A break from facing the fact that though she grew up thinking she could move mountains; the best she could do was hold a hand through it all. To most, that may be enough, but to Sakura, it was far too miniscule. She couldn't do enough. She lifted her head and stared unseeingly into the bark of one of the courtyard's birch trees. "I'm starting to understand my place in all of this, but it's taking some time for me to accept it."

Tsunade did not reply immediately, letting Sakura stew in her admission. She ran head first into something she clearly did not fully understand; she bolted across a busy highway without looking both ways. But, though she had spent the time feeling sorry, and wasted too many hours chained to her thoughts, Sakura realized the point of Tsunade's words. She was leading her towards finding the answer herself, rather than spelling it out word for word. Her mentor had many stories to tell, each one more grueling than the last. But, that was what had gotten her to where she was in life. Her experiences molded her into what she was today.

Sakura needed to experience true loss to understand how meaningful her relationships were. It was a harsh reality to confront, but nothing about the path she had chosen to take was easy.

"I have been on the front lines for years, and it is what I was born to do. I felt invincible, with minor setbacks, for a majority of my career. I was a hotshot, as I'm sure you've heard. According to seemingly everyone around, I suppose I still am," Tsunade admitted, facing forward as well as the two women sat side by side, letting the breeze sweep through the space between them as a welcomed caress. It felt like another presence had made itself known; a presence that was warm, undemanding even, and Sakura could nearly feel the smile it bore. It made her feel at peace, when everything else inside her felt frazzled and despaired.

She also heard the somber smile that was painted on Dr. Senju's red lips as she continued, "But, something inside me changed last year. I lost...I lost someone. Well, I lost two of the closest people in my life. I did everything I absolutely could in all the power and all the knowledge I had accumulated over the years, and it meant nothing. Nothing at all. Something inside me screamed that I hadn't done enough, that all the other doctors telling me to take a step back were in the wrong, that I could have saved them had they let me. But, grief and anger and loss are blinding, even to the most seasoned doctors."

Sakura turned to Tsunade, glancing at the older woman's expression, but her eyes were far away. The normally vibrant honey brown eyes lined with charcoal and embellished with long, blackened lashes were glassed over with horrible memory. Everyone had their own demons, she supposed, but some were always worse than others. It all depended on how you decided to carry them with you for the remainder of your life.

Tsunade kept going. "I'm not going to tell you not to grieve; by all means, that would be cruel. But I guess my point is this: take the time to feel your pain, then brush yourself off and keep moving forward. As long as you know you've done everything, as long as you've used up every last morsel of your knowledge without wearing yourself down, then you can rest assured that no one will ever hold it against you. Not anyone in their right mind, anyway. You are human, and human emotions are complex labyrinths that will continue to present new mysteries until the end of time. Your job is to recognize how you feel, and learn how to proceed forward from there. Even if it feels like everything around you has fallen to pieces and burnt down to the ground."

"How I feel…" Sakura echoed, gaze remaining fixed on Tsunade as she furrowed her brows in concentration. Up until then, all she had been focusing on was how she felt, how everything was making her feel. She felt the weight of the world holding her down with seemingly no way out of its grip. Shouldn't that have been enough to be able to move on? Or, was Tsunade's message much deeper at its core? Was letting herself get swallowed up in the maw of despair fundamentally different than coming to terms with her grief? Did she need to find a new course of action to head in a better direction? She simply didn't have enough experience to know how to take it all on herself. "I feel...sad. I feel like I am helpless. I feel like I'm just treading water and all my bones and all my muscles are starting to ache and screaming at me to stop and let myself drown. I feel...hopeless."

"The pain is momentary," Tsunade replied, turning finally to look into Sakura's wide eyes, open and vulnerable and looking for some fiber of strength to hold onto for dear life. Tsunade felt like she was gazing into the eyes of herself, one year prior, and felt her chest clench for a fleeting moment before she pressed on, ignoring her painful memories. "But you must not let it take you down permanently. Trust in yourself, and the rest will come naturally with hard work and perseverance. Just remember I would not have taken you under my wing if I did not believe you were capable of great things."

And just like that, Sakura felt a swirl of anxiety, anguish, and pride swell in her chest. It was an odd concoction, one that made her feel slightly queasy and off-balance. But, she had come to expect that in the time she had spent processing her emotions. It had truly felt like months, even years since it all began, but in reality, it had been no longer than a week or two. Time dragged on at a snail's pace, but it didn't lessen the fact that she still had miles and miles to go. Maybe she could do this; maybe she truly could make it through with a smile on her face.

Albeit, a faltered smile. But a smile nonetheless.

"Thank you, Tsunade, for your kind words today," Sakura replied as she faced forward once more and looked up to the evening sky. Dark clouds appeared to start rolling in with the night, and she mindlessly wondered if it would rain that night. It had been surprisingly dry that spring, meaning that if rainfall finally arrived, it would likely become a torrential downpour. It would be desperately needed for the flowers to bloom and the earth to flourish, but Sakura found herself dreading the oncoming storm. "Thank you, for assuring me that how I feel now won't hold me down for long."

Six Months Earlier:

Sasuke's crusty eyes creaked open as he woke up, tangled in thin sheets that scratched his skin and lying awkwardly on his stomach with his head on a flat pillow. His thoughts were clouded with confusion and tongue was coated in a heavy taste of smoked whiskey, and it took him a moment to realize where he was, and how he got there. It hurt his head, aching and throbbing, to recount the night before, and most of his memories came back as a blur that had black spots littered throughout.

What the hell happened last night?

After a few moments, Sasuke pushed himself to lay on his back to stare up at the ceiling. His breath reeked from alcohol, and his mind was a jumbled mess; he may have felt clueless in that moment, but he could not deny the guilt and anxiety that caught in his throat and restricted his breathing. He felt compelled to spit out the taste he had in his mouth, knowing that it was a clue that the previous night was full of regret.

Sasuke made no move to get up, not daring to lift a finger as he attempted to piece together what occurred. The last he remembered, he had been at his parent's mansion deep in the township of Konoha. He had arrived unannounced, for reasons that eluded him that morning. He had pounded back one too many shots of whiskey to gather the courage to do what he needed to do, but it had apparently hindered him instead.

Flashes of unbarred arguments and regretful words blinded him, making Sasuke cringe into himself and yank the pillow out from under his mussed head and press it into his face, willing it to smother him. But, as those memories poured into him in an onslaught of bad decisions that pained him to his core, he realized that they ended there. He had no idea what he had seen past the betrayed, devastated look in his mother's eyes; everything beyond that painful picture was a black abyss.

Sasuke had no idea how he got home, no clue how much further things had escalated after he had instigated a fight with his family that night. And though he felt clueless, it seemed that the lingering sense of culpability that nudged at him taunted him, reminding him that he had burned some bridges one way or another.

Though he had remained in contact with his family these past few months, their relationship had strained past the point of durability, and was bound to snap forcefully; Sasuke knew deep down he would be the culprit of their inevitable falling-through. He just didn't know that he wouldn't be there mentally when it happened.

Maybe it was a good thing, he thought, as he pressed the worn pillow further into his face until there was little to no air left for his lungs to take in.

What had transpired last night? What words spewed from his mouth, and why, why, why did he feel so guilty? It stabbed him in the chest and his heart pounded so hard it felt like it was going to burst from the pressure.

Sasuke ignored the buzzing coming from his left, knowing that if he ignored whoever bothered calling him long enough, they'd willfully leave him alone. He was far too anxious to pick up the call anyway; he didn't want to face anyone, not even himself, after the night he'd woken up from.

But it kept on buzzing over and over and over again. After what seemed like an eternity of teeth-grinding irritance, Sasuke yanked the pillow from his face and threw it in the far right corner of his bed, letting it fall in the space between it and the wall. Reluctantly reaching for his phone, cracked beyond repair from one of his many drunken nights. Sasuke had always intended on replacing it, but he had no money for it, and refused to ask his family to help him pay for a new one.

He doubted they'd be willing to help him in any way, shape, or form after last night anyway.

The caller was Itachi, to Sasuke's fear and dismay. He begrudgingly swiped his screen to accept the call, cutting his thumb on the sharp glass that protruded from it, and answered.

"What do you want?" Sasuke croaked out, tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth from dehydration. He could barely keep his eyes open, and the little sunlight that trickled through his blinds gave Sasuke a splitting migraine; he knew he had to keep the phone call short, and certainly not sweet.

"Sasuke, we need to have a serious talk. Last night was the final straw," Itachi began, refusing to beat around the bush. The seriousness that was laced in his voice filled Sasuke with the heaviest dread; he did not have the mental capacity to face his innermost demons. Not then, and maybe not ever. He certainly couldn't do it when the remnants of the alcohol he'd downed were churning his stomach, threatening to cause him to get sick. He could only hope that he'd make it to the bathroom in time.

"Itachi.." Sasuke began, swallowing thickly to keep the bile far down, willing it to stay put. If he could melt into the covers and never come back out again, it would be a blessing he'd never deserve. He immediately regretted answering the call; no matter how annoying the incessant buzzing was, it wouldn't compare to the hell he was sure to face as a result of his own actions.

Gods, he was such an idiot. A broken, drunken, forsaken idiot.

"No excuses, Sasuke," Itachi interjected, authority leaking through the phone line. His older brother had always tried to let him walk on his own and make his own decisions, but it was clear to Sasuke that he had had enough. What was the straw that broke the camel's back? What the hell happened last night? "I was kind enough to drive you home after your stunt yesterday, but I'll be damned if I continue to enable you. Either get some help, or I'll be forced to cut you off as Father did."

"I don't even know what you're talking about," Sasuke admitted, groaning as he laid back down on his bed, neck strained from the absence of the pillow. He didn't care, he reassured himself, even as he felt traitorous tears threaten to form behind his eyes. He was no crybaby, but damn, screaming into the heavens would have been truly cathartic in that moment. But, no one would answer, and no one would care. No one cared, so why should he? "I can't excuse something I have no recollection of."

"That's even worse, Sasuke!" Itachi reprimanded. He had relented far too many times, let so many instances slip through the cracks, and Sasuke made no indication of even wanting to get better; he never seemed to acknowledge that he had a problem, even with all the disastrous events that had unfolded within the last year. Itachi was a supportive older sibling, but he'd be damned if he'd help Sasuke destroy what little of his life he had left intact. Before he lost his temper, knowing Sasuke would not respond to angry outbursts, Itachi took a steadying breath before he continued. "What you do and do not remember isn't the problem anymore, Sasuke. What's done is done, and you have pretty much told our mother that everything up until now is her fault. You have broken her heart; she is one of the last people in your corner, and you broke her damn heart, Sasuke. Take some responsibility!"

Sasuke remained wordless; he couldn't deny the sting that was strong enough to make his limbs go numb, but he couldn't think of anything to say. Say he's sorry? Like that would ever happen; he wouldn't apologize if it was the last thing he'd ever do. He has screwed things up at every turn, but where was everyone when he needed them? Why should he apologize for anything when they never helped him avoid falling into this fickle facade?

All was lost, and nothing remained. Everything he touched turned to rot, and there was nothing, nobody who could save him now. Ever since that fateful night, where he had learned that his accomplices had recklessly run off the road during their daring escape and killed two innocent victims in the process, nothing mattered anymore. Lives were lost, and nothing remained.

So, Sasuke stayed silent, holding his tongue for all it was worth. Why fan the flames when the light left inside him was nothing but a flicker? He'd lost everything and as of the night before, everyone, and he had no clue why it hurt so badly; he'd been alone before, so why did this feel so different, so final? Why couldn't he breathe properly when he thought about his lack of memory of the night before? He couldn't wait to fall asleep and never have to find out.

"You're self-sabotaging yourself, you know?" Itachi uttered as he realized Sasuke would not respond. His voice was lowered to match the somber feeling bleeding through the phone. He had done all he could to help his little brother, but now, now that he was clearly on a path he could not be steered from, all he could do was put in his two cents, for whatever it was worth to Sasuke. "Your solution to your depression is to drink yourself to death, and that's no way to solve anything. I know you've been through some shit, Sasuke; don't forget who was with you the moment I bailed you out of jail. I won't tell you everything will be alright, but I will let you know that you have been forgiven for what happened. No one holds those two men's death against you. But, what we will not tolerate is you destroying yourself to the bone. It's painful to watch, Sasuke, from the outside."

Sasuke refused to reply, so Itachi added, "Get some help, Sasuke. Get some help, and come back to us. We will be waiting with open arms, so long as you get some damn help."

The line went dead, and Sasuke pulled his destroyed phone from his ear to see that Itachi hung up. He tossed the phone onto the floor to be forgotten, not caring if it got further damaged; he'd scrounge up what little money he had left and buy some burner phone at the corner store when he bought more whiskey later. It would be harder for people to reach him, anyway.

One less annoyance in his life.

Sasuke sighed heavily as he rolled over onto his right side and pulled the thin covers up and over his face to block out the burning sunlight leaking through the window. He'd go to sleep, and if heaven was on his side, he'd never wake up. The ground beneath his feet had given way far too long ago, and he was tired of falling. So very tired.

Before everything had turned tragic, Sasuke had been searching for something. What it was, he didn't know. But he'd searched in all the wrong places, and he'd been led down all the wrong roads. Something had been missing deep down inside him, and he'd tried and failed to fill that voice. If anything, he made it deeper and darker than ever before, and if he was being honest for once in his life, it scared him.

But any light he'd seen in his stupors had been an illusion, and all he'd been doing was steadily chasing himself further into the darkness.

Help? He didn't need help. He needed this all to end.

He needed the pain to go away.

"Sasuke? Is that you?" a voice rang out not far in front of him. How long had he been perched on his top step, downing the remainder of the beer he bought for himself? Memories had started sinking into his clouded mind, and Sasuke's vision became blurry. He almost couldn't make out the fuzzy image of Sakura making her way up the stone steps towards him. Once he realized it was her, his stomach became leaden and he was filled with dread; he didn't want her to see him as a wasted mess. "Oh, it is you!"

Sasuke placed the glass bottle down beside him and closed his eyes in irritation; he wanted to be alone, and Sakura was the last person he'd want to see when he was in this state. But, there was no changing the fact that she had turned up unannounced and found herself sitting to his left, shoulder to shoulder with him.

Sober, Sasuke would secretly be overjoyed, but since he drank himself into oblivion, he had no clue what he would do. He could control himself, be some miracle of the gods, or he could blow up like the short end of a fuse. There was no telling with his unpredictability, which was one of the many reasons why he'd prefer to drink alone. Now, he was forced to concentrate when all he wanted was to forget who he was, and why he felt such despair on a daily basis.

Opening his eyes to look at his uninvited visitor, Sasuke did not trust himself to speak. Rather, he kept looking into her eyes with his half-lidded ones as he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his lap. His bangs covered his vision just a smidge, but not enough to miss Sakura's apprehensive smile as she mirrored his position.

"Rough day, huh?" Sakura teased, leaning forward and fiddling with her fingers. Sasuke could see the pain in her stare; clearly she had come to spend some time with him, but why? He didn't have much to offer but his company, and even then, that wasn't worth much to begin with. Maybe by trying to offer what little sympathy he held the other night opened a gate that he didn't realize he wasn't truly ready for. Or, maybe he was, but the alcohol he'd consumed was stopping him from being able to make that progress.

It was one of the few times Sasuke had regretted deciding to throw back some beers.

"You could say that," Sasuke replied, slightly slurring his words and turning his gaze back to the ground beneath his feet. He couldn't hold Sakura's gaze for too long, and it was getting harder to concentrate by the minute; he didn't think he could hold a conversation, let alone offer his support. Not when he was drunk and emotionally stunted. "Rough life, actually."

"I can attest to that," Sakura huffed out as she laughed somberly as she leaned backwards and placed her hands behind her, looking up towards the darkening horizon. The young girl seemed full of swirling thoughts and raging emotions, and she remained solemn as she sighed up towards the sky and added, "Sometimes, you have to roll with the punches, even if they give you two black eyes."

Despite himself, Sasuke breathed out a small laugh. He wasn't one to discredit her feelings, or say she couldn't be the one to feel some type of way, but he'd be damned if he said black eyes were all he'd been dealt. He'd been through the wringer more times than he could count on one hand, and his bones ached from being laid to waste. If he were his old self, he'd nearly puke from such blind optimism, but maybe, just maybe, he was tired enough to relent.

Maybe he was so exhausted that he could use a hand or two.

"Black eyes can heal, but there are things even time can't wash away," Sasuke muttered as he continued to lean forward, feeling the beer tightening his muscles and loosening his lips; he could feel his secrets screaming, begging to be released to relieve the tension he carried on his back, but he knew that spewing them would leave him in pieces.

But Sakura had proven time and time again that she wouldn't leave him behind, not without a fight. Would she hold true to that even if she found out the truth?

Would she remain by his side if she knew he had killed two innocent people?

He highly doubted that, considering that the profession she so dearly dedicated herself to was devoted to healing and reviving, and it was the antithesis of everything she worked toward.

"You may be right," Sakura replied quietly, mulling over his words as she trailed off. She very evidently had very many things at the tip of her tongue, but Sasuke secretly hoped she would be content, as she had always previously been, with just sitting there in silence. He found that he felt bad, considering he actually cared about how she felt, but he just couldn't do it. He was far too down the rabbit hole and there was no way Sakura would receive his undivided attention with the alcohol flowing through his veins. "Listen, Sasuke...I have a favor to ask of you."

"Hm?" Sasuke replied, reaction somewhat delayed as her words swam like mud through his mind. A favor? Of him? No one truly trusted him enough these days to ask him to do much for him, unless it was to get his act together. And considering Sakura had been feeling down recently, he wondered to what extent she would ask him to go for her. Heaven knew, even with the beers hindering him, Sakura held a special place within his heart; she had found her place there, and started her healing. Everything was cold and withered, barren, and she somehow stopped any further deterioration. Heck, she even reversed it somehow. So, even though he was drunk and out of his regular mind, Sasuke knew he'd do anything for her.

Anything.

Sasuke lifted his head and looked towards Sakura, who was still leaning back and staring blankly into the clouds above. Her hair was messily thrown into a bun, with wisps framing her round face, and her lips were slightly pulled apart as she softly breathed in the warming spring air. As her eyes turned to his, Sakura looked just as ethereal to him as she always did. But, there was a pain lining her features; the bags under her normally brightened eyes tugged them heavily down, and those lips that taunted him day in and day out were pulled downwards as well. It seemed as if gravity was not on her side that day, and it twinged Sasuke's chest.

"It's okay if you don't want to do it, but…" Sakura started as she pushed herself up to sit straight, still twiddling her fingers that laid delicately in her lap. Sasuke couldn't help but notice her chest, tastefully framed with a solid red shirt and a sweetheart neckline, started going up and down more frantically. Sasuke immediately knew she was having trouble breathing, and knew from experience she was on the verge of a panic attack; she had been holding back tears the other night, but what about today? What hadn't he noticed since she arrived?

Sasuke placed his left hand on Sakura's right knee and started rubbing it with his thumb to soothe her. It was all he could think of doing to calm her, to quell the tears that he didn't want to see spilling from her eyes. He didn't trust himself to speak, for the slurred nothings that would spew from his lips have historically only made things much, much worse in the end.

Sakura smiled warmly as she looked into Sasuke's eyes, and put her hand over his, interlocking their fingers on top of her knee. "Can I stay with you tonight?"

Sasuke froze, not sure if he truly heard her correctly. Did she ask..to spend the night with him? She...wanted to stay the night? Sakura...stay with him...in his apartment? He truly had enough to drink that night if he really thought that she asked that of him.

"Spend the night...with me?" Sasuke mirrored, unable to hide the surprise written all over his face. He didn't know if he could do it, let her in like he so much needed her to be, like she so clearly wants to be. He didn't know if he could let her in, because his darkness is far too sinister, far too contagious, and he couldn't let her be infected. But, inch by inch, warm smile by warm smile, and stolen touch by stolen touch, Sakura really had already been let in. And, she seemed to need him.

No one has needed him before.

It was a concept so foreign to him, yet through his drunken haze, Sasuke could see Sakura as clearly as crystal.

"Yes...no expectations. I just want to be...with you," Sakura offered as she squeezed his hand, still conjoined with hers on her bare knee. There was no lingering tension, and the pain that seared Sasuke's chest seemed to cool off with every breath he took. There were no expectations between them, other than the fact that they will be there, together. "I promise there will be no funny business, but I've just been feeling so...alone. And lost."

"No," Sasuke replied, pulling his hand away, but not breaking their locked gazes. As a flash of hurt and slight shock filtered through Sakura's eyes, Sasuke finally caught up to his senses and quickly corrected himself. "No, I mean, I don't want you to feel that way. I know how it...I mean, you know how I...No, that's not what I…"

Sasuke trailed off. He was so damn stupid, drunkenly tripping over his words. He turned from Sakura, facing the railing as he took a heavy shuddering breath. He'd never been good at forming coherent thoughts, mostly needing to remain deep inside his own thoughts, and add alcohol into the mix, and he was a walking disaster. But, this time, he had the mind to stop himself from jumping off that ledge.

He turned to Sakura, eyes still filled with hurt and eyebrows stitched together in concern. "Yes, stay with me tonight."

"Are you sure? I mean, you don't have to agree just because…" Sakura replied as she leaned backwards and put her hands up in defense. Before she let more of her insecurity bleed through, Sasuke cut her off.

"Sakura, stay with me," Sasuke started as he began to stand up and offer her a hand, slightly off balance, but determined enough to press on. Once they got inside, he'd drink water, and they could possibly order some dinner, if she didn't already have dinner before she made her way over unannounced to his apartment.

Sakura smiled slightly and accepted the hand that Sasuke offered to stand up. There were no expectations, Sasuke reminded himself as Sakura stood back up and their hands remained interlocked. The moment in itself was sobering, as Sasuke came to terms with how natural it felt to be with her, how easy it was to face the scariest of things so long as she was there with him.

The past can never be altered, and things can never be changed once they are set in stone. But, even if it was his impaired judgment, or his true progress, Sasuke really felt like he could move forward so long as he no longer felt like he was alone. And with Sakura, he didn't feel judged, didn't feel hopeless.

And if she could be there for him through thick and thin, he would offer her the world with open arms. Even with what little he had left to give.

Hi everyone! That was chapter sixteen! I am so very sorry that it took some time to update this chapter; the tardiness was a culmination of changes in my personal life and the dreaded writer's block. But, I really wanted to work on fleshing out the past and start connecting some dots! I promise to update more frequently now that things have settled, and more substantial SasuSaku interactions coming next chapter, so stay tuned!

As always, please like/subscribe/review and let me know what you think! I love and appreciate you all! :)