Welcome! I know it's been a few years since I've written a real story, but this one has been invading my mind, demanding to be written. I've mostly been working on my book (some of you might know about that), but I've taken a little break to get this story out of my head.

I loved Tauriel in the Hobbit movies. I realize she wasn't in the books, but the romance between her and Kili made those movies infinitely more interesting to me. If you don't like Tauriel or ship her with Kili, this story is not for you so please move along.

Also, if you feel the premise of this story is too close to that of my Walking Dead story "Hallucinations", please don't flame me. Message me and we can talk about it.

Finally, very good news! I have actually fully completed this story and will be posting a chapter most days (although probably not the next few days since I have to go to a wedding out of town.)

I do not own any of these characters or settings.

Chapter 1

The sun neared its zenith in the sky as mid-day approached. Tauriel watched the large caravan approach the entrance of Erebor, loaded with Dwarves. Surprised it arrived so fast, the caravan must have traveled through the day and night to reach the Lonely Mountain so quickly. Had the great Battle of the Five Armies just ended the day before last? The ache of her loss still clawed at her middle, threatening to choke her.

As she watched Dwarves stream from the caravan into the once grand entrance of their kingdom, her mind drifted back to that defining but terrible moment when the battle ended for her. She could save him, she'd been sure of that. She'd saved him twice before, once with the Spiders and again from the Morgul-shaft's poison. It hadn't been until that moment, when she watched him fighting Orc after Orc alone, that she'd realized she'd subconsciously taken on the job of his protector.

She'd been distracted getting to him when Bolg attacked her. The huge Orc had bloodied her, his strength overpowering her skill and grace as he clashed with her and Kili. Why hadn't she grabbed her small dagger from her boot when she was on his back and plunged it in his neck? She'd been too focused on trying to force his weapon away from Kili that she wasn't prepared to be fling to the ground. The wind knocked out of her, struggling to breath, all she could do was watch in horror as Bolg thrust his spike into Kili's chest.

Never will she forget the look in Kili's eyes as he stared toward her as he died. Tears leaked down his face, and it was almost like he silently apologized to her for not being able to give them the life together he'd so wanted.

As Bolg dropped Kili's body to the ground, Tauriel felt raging boiling inside her. She'd wanted to take this foul creature into death, even if she had to follow him there. Her breath returning to her lungs, she'd used all her dexterity to spin herself up and around, pushing against the cliff face to propel them both over the side. Her final thoughts had been of Kili as she'd plummeted to the ground, not caring if she'd lived or died.

It hadn't been very long for her to awaken because the battle still raged on the far field. Bolg lay nowhere in sight and she'd assumed he was gone. Pushing the pain from her mind, she'd crawled back up to where Kili's body rested, cradling him in her arms. Warmth still emanated from his body, but the sparkle of life and his cocky grin had disappeared forever.

She'd given him back the rune stone, slipping it into his glove to keep it safe. He'd given it to her as a promise, and she felt she'd broken that promise, failed him when he needed her the most. When she kissed him, she cried more that he couldn't kiss her back.

Thranduil had come, spoken to her of love and how the pain made it real. She didn't want it, had fought hard against loving him for so long, only finally realizing it once it was too late. It seemed a cruel irony that she was made to endure such hurt without having enjoyed the wonder of this love first. The Elven King had left her then with a small travel pack, telling her she had a place in Mirkwood when her grieving ended. She didn't know if it would ever end.

It took a while before the Dwarves came for Kili. His body had been harder to find than Thorin and Fili. She'd clung to him, refusing at first to release him. Bofur, with his silly hat, had knelt beside her, speaking gentle, soothing words as he'd pried her fingers off Kili's tunic so the others could carry him away. He'd tried to steer her back with them into Erebor but she'd slipped away from him, only wanting to be alone.

She'd taken refuge in one of the damaged towers of Dale, the humans steering away from it because of the unstable structure. Tauriel didn't care if the whole building crashed down on top of her head. It gave the best view Erebor. She watched with a heavy heart as the Dwarves celebrated the coronation of their new king, Dain Ironfoot, and probably told heroic tales of their fallen comrades.

At first, she hadn't known what she'd been waiting for, but as she watched the caravan unloading, she knew this was it. Dis, sister of Thorin and mother of Fili and Kili, would be on this caravan. She needed to see the She-Dwarf, to explain her failure, and how her son had died bravely fighting for both his life and hers.

Stretching as she stood up from the crumbling ledge, she pushed her uneaten lembas bread back into her pack and swung a green cloak over her shoulders. She raised the hood up and descended out of Dale, over the blood-soaked field, and to Erebor.