BOB'S BURGERS:
THE TRUEST WORDS
WRITTEN BY ZARIUS
A future time. A future place.
It began in almost pitch perfect darkness. Only one dimly lit lamp generates any sort of visible light in the room. Enough, it appears to give an older looking Louise Belcher, in her early twenties, the opportunity to read a men's motorsport magazine as best she could, in her ear, 'Heaven Is a Place on Earth' played at a comfortable volume on her mp4 player.
A sudden knock of the firmly locked door made her turn.
"It's me" comes a voice from the other end.
A tiny patter of footsteps from Louise's bare feet gently graced the floor of the quiet and barely bright motel room as she stumbled about in the inky blackness scrambling to open the door.
The remainder of the room was a murky, unorganised mess. A sofa in the centre has visible springs sticking out of it, with several pieces of drenched clothing spread over the back of it.
Louis, her hair in a ponytail, her attire a bright pink t-shirt and torn jeans, greeted a young male, just about the same age as her, wearing a bright blue blazer and red shorts, and thoroughly soaked, for it was raining heavily outside.
"I told you to take the trenchcoat Rudy, look at you, you're soaking"
"It's not my fault God turned the faucet on before I got back" Rudy remarked
"It hit me when I came back to, but at least I took an umbrella, I watch the weather channels for a reason" Louise replied.
"Did you get the tickets?" Rudy asked.
Louise reached into the right hand pocket of her jeans and waved the tickets in front of Rudy,
"Yep, got the autographs too"
"You haven't been out of this room, how's that possible?" Rudy asked, taken aback.
"Shopped online for 'em"
"I thought you wanted to get autographs in person?" said Rudy.
"Yeah but, like you said, God turned the faucet on" Louise remarked.
"You'd rather spend time and money cheating yourself out of a live experience because you don't want to get your hair wet?" Rudy remarked
"I was just going to shower" Louise replied.
"One of the deals we made is that if I got the tickets, we'd try to make the most out of the day and find opportunities to make a statement back home. We would have our chance to brag for once" Rudy explained.
"Yeah, well maybe I'm up for bragging on my own time"
A smile steadily grew on Rudy's face, and he shook his head.
"You're impossible" he said.
"That's very possible" Louise remarked, sitting down on the edge of the bed nearest to her.
"That bed's creaking an awful lot" Rudy remarked
"Yeah, I mean, we haven't even started on it yet" Louise replied.
Rudy's eyes widened in horror.
"Excuse me?" he said
"What?" Louise asked
"I didn't quite hear you there" Rudy replied.
"Well then get hearing aids" Louise said, springing back up.
"What haven't we started?" Rudy asked.
"Sex" Louise replied
"You want to have sex?" Rudy asked
"Yeah, that a problem?" Louise asked
"I'm your buddy" Rudy firmly replied, "This is just...you and me, we're going to a gig, that's all, we're friends"
"Yeah, we are, that's why I want to do this" Louise insisted.
"You can't just ask a friend to have sex with you, what if..." Rudy replied.
"Yeah, 'What If'" Louise echoed.
Rudy didn't quite follow.
"Sit down buddy, c'mere"
The two sat back down on the bed, she held his hands tight.
"My mother used to tell me IF was the truest, most powerful word in the English language...so many possibilities, so many options, some of the best feelings, some of your worst, all come from asking a question to yourself..."
"Doubting yourself?" Rudy asked
"No, no silly, challenging yourself. To see how you measure up as a human being" Louise said
"Having sex with your close friends is your idea of 'measuring up?' Rudy asked
"...You're gonna say it..." Louise continued, sighing.
"Say what?" Rudy asked
"Keep going" she said
"I'm thinking of repercussions...if..."
"And There you go" Louise replied
"Wow. Yeah. IF" Rudy said, starting to see Louise's point.
"If we fall out..." she said
"If I hurt you..." Rudy said, swiftly following it up.
"You won't" Louise assured him.
"But If I do..." he continued.
"Then I'll forgive you" she said.
"Like that?" Rudy asked.
Louise put her finger gently on his lips, silencing him.
"Like that" she said
"I'd never fall out with you either. You mean too much to me." Rudy said, kissing the back of Louis's right hand as if she were royalty from a far land.
"See? I've got nothing to be afraid of, and neither do you" she said
"This is the part where I say 'I love you' and we snuggle a bit right?" Rudy asked
"We're not lip locking" Louise insisted.
Rudy smiled, "unfair" he said.
"Go with the Eskimo kisses more" she suggested.
"Why? You feeling chilly? Like them?" Rudy remarked.
" 'Course I'm chilly, so are you, God DID turn the faucet on"
"I love you then" Rudy said.
"I love you too buddy" Louise said, fully embracing in her mind the truest words spoken in the human language.