What if?, a ben 10 fanfic

"...If I had changed...If I had went insane...and turned evil; would you have done it? Would you have tried to kill me?" She asked holding her knees closer to her body as she avoided eye contact with Ben. He stared back at her shocked for a moment. He was glad he wasn't looking at her; he felt horrible right now. He shuffled in his seat uncomfortably. He knew she knew the answer. So why was she even asking?

He had won.

He had beaten him.

His best friend.

Ben had killed his best friend and saved the day. He was a hero and he had saved the universe yet again. So why did he feel like such a monster. Maybe it was the fact that her cousin had begged him not to. Not to kill her boyfriend. But he had to. He didn't have a choice; he was going to kill her. And he didn't understand why she cared so much about him. Why did she have to care about a man that had physically abused her, drained her powers, played tricks on her just to mess with her brain. It was insanity and yet he was considered the bad guy. At least in her eyes...at least right now. He remembered her falling to the ground after...it. After he had ended the dark haired boys life. He didn't give his cousin the time of day at that point. He knew she would fail; he knew her plan wouldn't work. Kevin was a wild dog and needed to be put down. He deserved it, after everything, he deserved it.

The second the shackles had come lose, the minute the dominus lebriam had smashed to pieces; Ben knew it was over. He knew his cousin would try and get in the way again. So as soon as those shackles came lose and Kevin awoke he ended him. Pushing his cousin out of the way and to the ground, Ben smashed his Ultimatrix turning into Water Hazard then Shocksqutch. He knew he cousin would hate him; he expected that. He expected his to run up to him and shove him and get in the way, potentially ending her own life to save Kevin's. Maybe that's what surprised him a little bit when it was all over. He turned around to find her still on the floor, knees shifted to one side as her back was against the wall. A single tear had streaked down the left side of her face as she stared in horror. Not at Kevin but at Ben. She didn't think he had the guts. She believed that her cousin was pure innocence when really...she was lying to herself; she didn't want to know the truth. And now, she was staring into the eyes of a murderer. They burned into hers as he turned towards her. Shocksquatch's eyes glaring into hers. She wanted to look away but couldn't. She was frozen; she was in shock.

"Gwen!" He called her name slamming the Ultimatrix down and walking over to her. She didn't want to be anywhere near him right now though. She was scared and terrified and confused and...and...

"Sstay back" She swore it came out like a demand but it sounded like a weak whimper to him. But he heard her none-the-less. Her panic-striken voice telling him to keep away from her. He could see her heart pounding against her ribcage. He knew she wanted to runaway right now, dig up one of her spell books and try and undo everything but he couldn't let her. At least, not right now. 'She's probably not thinking straight' he reasoned as he came closer to her. Fingers outstretched in an effort to grab hold of her before she made a dash for it. He needed her next to him right now. Just to say how much she hated him for what he had done. For her to hiss at him, to shout at him to just be mad at him but he never expected her to be afraid of him.

"Gwen, it's okay" He mumbled towards her his shadow casting over her. Tears streaked down her face as her body shook. Ben was sure that she was in pain though. She was covered in nothing but cuts, bruises and scraps all down her body and the fact that she was probably exhausted to shreds. No, he didn't want her going anywhere, he may of been a powerhouse but right now she was a wounded animal. The only thing he wanted to do with her right now was to help her. To comfort her and maybe even breakdown in her arms. He knew he loved her, she was innocent and sweet and kind...and a monster under her own skin. He kneeled down opposite her, consciously trapping her from an exit.

"It's okay, Gwen" He hesitated placing a gentle hand on her leg. He could feel her shuddering under his touch. He knew why she wasn't reacting back now. Why she wasn't moving in the very least. She was broken.

"I'm sorry, Gw-"

Her eyes flashed purple then back to green. His eyes lit up in shock. She was losing control. He removed his hand from her thigh. Her eyes flashed again struggling to contain the power within. Gwen winced her eyes, blinking slowly. He leaned forward grabbing her cheeks and tapping her face as she looked away from him her pale features beginning to glow a violent purple.

"Gwen, stay with me" He mumbled into her ear. She bit her lip, shaking her head and trying to focus as much as possible.

"C-Cann't" She scrunched her face before her head swung back violet eyes staring into his own. He screamed as he was thrown back her purple body landing on him. Ben winced his eyes as he felt his shirt scrunched in her hands. He didn't want to know what was going to happen next.

"Gwen!" He looked up into her eyes seeing the abyss of whiteness.

"I'm going to kill you" She shouted at him hand raising up, fingers etching into claws.

"Gwen, please. It's me" He mumbled. She gritted her teeth in anger before her eyes slit. He could see her white glowing teeth clenching in anger. She couldn't do it; she couldn't hurt him no matter how much pain she felt; she couldn't do it.

"It's okay, Gwen. It's okay" He hushed her bringing his hand up to her cheek and touching her face. Her right eye slit as he touched her gently.

"Everything's okay,"

"Liar" She muttered looking away, her multidimensional voice weak and faded. In the background her could see the Plumber kids sneaking up including his grandfather, readying their weapons slowly.

"It's not fair" She muttered claw falling back to her cousin's shirt.

"I know" He slowly bought his hands up onto hers and rubbed them gently. Her head slumped onto his chest as he heard her begin to whimper.

"It's okay, I'm here. I'm here for you" He ran his fingers up to her cheek as she whimpered.

"Y-you, killed him" She gritted her teeth, her grip tightening on his shirt, ripping it with her claws.

"I-I" He didn't know what to say to her. He didn't want to upset her and get his throat slashed by the enraged girl...alien.

"I'm sorry" He mumbled trying to be as sincere as he could with her. He noticed her white orbs peak from her head, glaring straight into his soul. Even for him, he found it intimidating to see.

"I...I can't imagine what you're going through" He spoke so softly to her and she listened to every word. He gently brought his other hand up to her face, feeling her cheek and trying to comfort her as best he could in this position. He turned his head noticing Manny raise his gun towards her back. Ben's eyes lit up in horror.

"Back off him freak" Manny yelled, cocking his weapon as he aimed at the alien above the hero, fingers laced out ready to scratch the boy's throat out. He already had one of his closest friends die today, there was no need for anyone else, especially by the hands of some foreign being. He gritted his teeth ready to fire as he noticed the alien's hair swing.

Her expression turned blank as she looked back up towards her cousin. Her hands shook with anger, glowing a violent shade of purple.

"Don't!" Ben tried to grab her but she was too fast, jumping into the air and landing softly onto the ground.

"Go AWAY!" Her hand swung back a wave of manna slashing the air and heading straight towards him. All three of them were thrown back, Manny; Helen and Max, crashing against the wall with a groan. It was enough to stop them for the meantime.

"Gwen!" Ben held his shoulder as he pushed himself up off the ground.

"Please Stop!" He turned to her hand lighting up with power as her teeth clenched towards him.

"I'm not going to fight you," He yelled at her, placing his hands up, his expression turning blank. No, he was done fighting and there was no way in hell he was going to fight her. Not after everything that had happened. But she, she was too enraged to stop herself. Too fuelled with power and madness to see reason. To see that he still loved her and she loved him.

"I'm not asking" She narrowed her eyes, hands balling with energy as she aimed at his head. He turned away, closing his eyes ready for anything she threw at him. He had had it. He was done being the hero; he just wanted it to be over.

'BANG'

He heard the sounds of his impending doom but felt nothing. He was surprised. Why was he still here, still conscious. He opened his eyes to see the purple alien, eyes widened like two full moons and small holes littering her chest and stomach.

"GWEN!" Ben screamed in agony. Helen's eyes widened as she lowered her gun.

"Gwen?" Helen stared towards the purple alien once threatening to destroy the hero. The antodyte stared down towards her upper body. She noticed the holes in her stomach and chest. She didn't realise that she had been shot. She couldn't feel it at all and yet she stumbled back. Max's eyes lit up in shock at the Antodyte.

He picked himself up off the ground and raced towards her, hoping to catch her before she fell to the ground, screaming for him. The gaps began to close in her body and she could feel herself regenerating. She looked back up at the shooter and smiled raising a fist towards her. Max stopped in his tracks noticing the creepy smile plastered on his granddaughters face.

"Gwen don't" He placed his hand up, stepping in the way of the Plumber's and trying to protect them from her wrath.

Her body shook with rage. She was loosing it and Ben could see it.

"You're next" She yelled forcing manna into the palm of her hand and aiming it towards her grandfather and the rest of the Plumbers.

"Gwen, stop!" Ben tackled the girl to the ground before she could attack the other Plumber. This time Ben was on top straddling her and grabbing her wrists. Max placed his weapon down as he helped his grandson stop his cousin before she made a brutal mistake.

The older man quickly grabbed her hair forcing it to the ground before he placed his knee on the power source and grabbed her face.

"Snap out of it Gwen; you're not thinking straight" He told her trying to get her back to her normal self but she refused, struggling against them as they held her down.

"Gwen, please. I can't you lose you too" Ben begged her. Tears streamed from his face as he watched the antodyte try and push back from him.

"Please, Gwen" He placed his forehead on hers.

"I can't, I can't do this without you" He sobbed into her holding her close to him as he begged for the girls life. He couldn't lose her. He couldn't lose the one person he cared about the most. No, no her. Max watched as he held her down hoping she would calm down immediately and there would be no fight. He wouldn't have to hurt her. He wouldn't be able to. Nobody, not even Ben would be able to defeat her. Maybe not through power, he would be too weak to even attempt to take her down.

"I can't...I can't"

She stopped struggling after that; staring up into the crying boy's eyes as he hugged her tightly, refusing to let her go. She must admit; she felt bad for the boy. Her composure fell apart the instant he had started sobbing. The bright purple aura that cascaded around her body dulled as her skin reattached to her body. Left in the place of the Antodyte was a mere human girl with dulled green eyes staring up at the boy. Her grandfather smiled down at her before he moved his knee off her hair and watch as her eyes closed from exhaustion. He could still hear his grandson sobbing into her. He simply placed a gentle hand on the boy's back trying to alert him that his cousin was fine.

"Ben" Max muttered towards the boy. Ben opened his eyes staring down at the unconscious girl in his arms. He sniffed, smiling as he touched her hair and cheek.

"Gwen!" He laughed hugging her as gently as he could before he looked up at her grandpa.

"She's okay" Max mumbled grabbing the girl's injured body and bringing him close to his warmth. He held her there for a minute, cuddling her so tightly in his arms, glad that she was okay. Ben watched as his cousin hung loosely in the old man's arms, her head dripping to the side as her shoulder bled out. He would be sure to make sure she sought medical attention for her wounds and burns. Some of them looked traumatic. Max looked over to the boy, noticing his worried gaze, he quietly removed his hands from the girl, placing her gently in her cousin's warm embrace, making sure she was secure in the boy's arm. She winced slightly before she wrapped her arms around her cousin, feeling cold to the bone. Ben smiled, tears dripping down his face and onto her ripped up sweater.

"I'm going to clean up...the mess. Why don't you take your cousin home. I'll stop by later to see how you're going" Max muttered before standing up and walking over to the monster lying on the ground covered in smoke. Ben stood up, carrying her bridal style to the door only to find Helen standing there, eyes slit and head down, a frown apparent on her face.

"I didn't...I'm sorry, I didn't know" She mumbled, placing a hesitant hand on the girl's stomach, hoping to not feel any blood cover her hands. She was surprised when it was dry. Ben shifted her in his arms, lifting her up a little more while she was still out cold.

"She'll be okay" He shook his head, trying to convince himself that he just needed to get away and clear his head. As much as he hated to admit it, he dependent on the redhead both emotionally and physically. If she fell, then he would crash not long after. He needed her.

He needed her and he couldn't lose her.

The drive home was quiet. Gwen had not said a word the whole trip. Waking in the seat as Ben wrapped the seatbelt around her. She asked what had happened, asked him to let her go see him, just one last time but he refused and she gave up the fight after he had told her that grandpa was sorting everything out. He remembered her passing out soon after that, probably thinking the whole experience was nothing more than a delusion. She was exhausted and wounded. Too dangerous mixes for him, if she tried to go Antodyte again she would lose everything. He would lose everything.

But, he needed her. And now, now at this moment, she hated him. She tried to kill him for what he did and now she was sitting right next to him in the car. Quiet, patient, sleeping. It made Ben nervous. What was going to happen when she wakes up. Would she go insane, leaving him forever, would she forgive him, telling him that she was glad they were both alive or would she go into shock, abandoning the Plumbers and him.

Slight groans and rubbing her forehead entertained him. Ben took notice every time she moved, the slight mumbling under breathe. He heard it; he just couldn't understand what she was saying. It could be gibberish for all her cared or a spell. Was she reciting spells? No, something would've happened by now. He shook his head, changing gear as he entered Bellwood city. The redhead, just touched her head closing her eyes as she leaned against the seatbelt, exhausted and trying to get some sleep.

He wanted to ask her if she was going to be okay but he knew the answer.

Why are you even asking? Of course I'm not alright.

He rolled his eyes thinking about the pointless conversation. Instead, he grabbed his jacket out of the backseat and wrapped it around her with one arm as he drove. She opened her eyes, noticing him adjusting the jacket on her. She froze for a second, eyes only half opening for a slight second to see what been placed over her. It took a minute but she finally decided, grabbing the hem of the jacket and wrapping it around her shoulders better.

"...Thank you" She mumbled resting her head back on the seatbelt and attempting to get back to sleep.

He smiled to himself, glad she hadn't snapped at him. He flicked on the indicator turning into her street.

He helped her up the stairs to her room, supporting most of her weight as she stumbled tripping over her own feet. Still only half conscious and struggling to answer her cousin. His jacket swung loosely around her shoulders as he lifted her up the last step.

"Do you want me to carry you, you don't look-"

"I'm...fine..." She snapped mumbling as her knees gave and she grabbed hold of her stomach. Ouch! Ben thought to himself as he opened her bedroom door and helped her lay down on the bed. She groaned turning to her side and placing her back to him. He gently placed a hand on her shoulder rubbing it.

"I'll get you some pain killers" He stood up as she huddled over. He frowned, upset with her as she didn't answer him.

He came back 2minutes later with a glass of water in his hands and two tablets in his hand. He found her on the floor, huddled over her spell books finally recovering from her delusion infused exhaustion state and getting back to work, as usual. He could pick out the heavy bags under her eyes, something he had never seen before. Her skin was always so clear, never having problems like other girl's her age did with pimples, black-spots, make-up and now, now she looked awful, like something inside of her had died and he was the cause of it. He sighed, placing her drink down next to her and sitting down on her bed as she didn't even bother to look up and acknowledge him.

He stared back at her shocked for a moment. He was glad he wasn't looking at her; he felt horrible right now. He shuffled in his seat uncomfortably. He knew she knew the answer. So why was she even asking?

"You've never gone insane before, you're not a bad person, you've not even evil; you're my cousin and all you do is believe in the good in people. You're a good person; you're not Kevin" He replied trying to convince her that she was in the wrong; that he was right. Why could she not see she was at fault here?

"But if I turned evil, if I just snapped one day and tried to destroy the universe"

"I wouldn't be able to take you down; even if I wanted too..."

She lifted her head up and turned towards him noticing the determined look in his eyes.

"...But I'll find a way to stop you...somehow"

"Would you kill me?"

He paused, hesitating for a moment before answering her.

"...No,I wouldn't do it. I couldn't hurt you?"

"...But you'd hurt Kevin?" She gritted her teeth angrily.

"Kevin wasn't my family Gwen. He was a friend; my best-friend and you act I'm the bad guy. Like I don't feel horrible for what I did, he harmed you. He hit you, he beat you, he drained your energy and you still tried to save him; you still loved him. You couldn't see that he was a bad person. You were too blind to see that he was going to hurt a lot of people, including our family and he was going to kill you. I couldn't let him do that, Gwen. Not to you, not to anyone else"

Her eyes shook with tears as she tried to stop herself from crumbling over

"It wasn't Kevin..It wasn't-"

"But it was; it was all of Kevin. As much as you'd like to think he's changed; he hasn't deep down inside her still that demented kid that tried to steal the omnitrix all those years ago and now he's trying to take you. He tried to kill you Gwen. He tried to kill us" Ben said strongly not giving in to her excuses. He loved her too much to let her make such dumb choices in her life and Kevin was one of them. He shook his head, leaning back on his cousin's pillow as he laid on her bed. Her eyes narrowed as he rested his shoes on her blanket and sipped his smoothie. Her drink left unattended, next to her as she sat crossed legged on the ground in the middle of a marked out triangle almost faded from her mothers constant scrubbing of the floor.

She looked shaking by her cousins words. As little hope as they brought, he was right. He could see the tears forming in the corner of her eyes as she sniffed thinking about her boyfriend...well X by Ben's standards. He didn't belong with her in fact, he found it weird that they were together.

"I know you're scared, Gwen but you don't need to be" Ben stood up, placing his drink down on the side of the table as he moved off towards her. Her eyes widened as he smothered the candles around her out before he extended his hand out towards her. She stared up at him, eyes watering with tiredness and emotion. She was a wreck; messed up hair, rings under her eyes, shirt slightly asqure. She looked up into his eyes.

"Come on, Gwen; you're exhausted. You need to rest" He forced a smile at her. She sighed thinking about it; about everything that had happened. I mean, everything worked out for the best didn't it? Kevin's not a monster anymore; Ben killed him and she was still alive. I mean, psychologically and emotionally traumatised, that's all.

"Yeah, okay" She took her cousins hand. He smirked, helping her stand up and balance on her two wobbly legs. He held her tightly against him as he helped her out of her own room and downstairs.

"Thanks Ben," She mumbled, as he gently sat her down on a nearby chair. She just shook, her body struggling with every breathe. He gently bent down as she rubbed her forehead, trying to stop herself from fainting.

"You need to eat something"

"I'm not hungry" She turned away,

He sighed, trying to look her in the eye as she tried to ignore him.

"You need energy; I don't think I can handle you turning into an Antodyte again" She looked back at him, her eyes shaking filling with tears.

"I'm, I'm..." Tears streaked down her face. She gritted down her teeth, feeling disgusted by herself that would even attempt to hurt her cousin.

"I'm sss-"

"It's okay" He brought her into a hug trying to stop himself from breaking down. He shushed her, listening to her crying in his arms.

"It's okay" He mumbled into her ear.

"Ssssorry," She whispered, barely audible but he still heard her. He shook his head.

"It's okay, you don't need to be sorry. I...I screwed up"

She winced her eyes, cheeks flustering a bright red.

"No, I" she sniffed.

"I screwed up; I thought I could help him; thought I could save him and I blew it. I...I attacked you. I attacked you and..."

He grabbed her, stopping her from saying anymore. It was killing him on the inside to hear her words. They pierced his heart. It felt like he was drinking lava right now. Heck, he would probably drink the lava than actually deal with this. Her emotions cut him like a knife and there was nothing he could do about it. Nothing except hug her and tell her how much he loved and cared about her.

"It's not your fault"

"Yes, it is"

"No, it's not" He held her away from her and held her shoulders tightly, attempting to look her in the eyes.

"Don't ever say that, don't you ever blame yourself. It's not your fault; you tried; you did your best. That's all you could ever do"

She shook her head.

"I could've. I could've" She hyperventilated.

"You did your best" He mumbled, stroking a lock of hair behind her ear.

"I'm so proud of you; you've always been good" He kissed her forehead. Tears streamed down her face as her breathing slowed. She closed her eyes as his lips removed themselves from her skin. It surprised her how gently he was, even after she attacked him.

He stoked her cheek as gently as possible attempting to cheer her up. Instead, she just grabbed his hand and closed her eyes.

"I didn't mean to hurt you; I was just angry" She mumbled tired of thinking about it.

"Let me get you something to eat?" He stood up. She tried to grab him, trying to stop him from leaving.

"I'll be right back, okay"

"Okay?" She sniffed letting go of him. He sighed, tired as he walked into the next room looking into the fridge trying to find something for her to chew on. Nothing, the fridge was practically empty. He closed the door, looking into the freezer to find some ice-cream.

He chuckled, pulling it out and grabbing a spoon. He came back in the room to find her falling asleep on the couch staring at the giant whole where her door should be.

"Cold?" Ben asked, smiling. She looked up at him as he passed her the chocolate chip flavoured food. She smirked grabbing hold of it and cuddling it next to her.

"Huh, mum's hidden treat" She grabbed hold of the spoon as her cousin grabbed a blanket off the nearby couch and wrapped her legs up before sitting down next to her.

"Thank you" She mumbled, biting into the ice-cream on her spoon. He smiled down at her as he placed a hand on her blanket covered legs.

"I am sorry for what happened. I never meant to hurt you,"

"I know" She looked away.

"I'm sorry I got a little crazy back there" She mumbled taking another bite of food before she looked up at her cousin. He stared back down at her, noticing the bright green eyes and clear, flawless skin.

"What do you think's going to happen now?" She asked him sincerely. He thought about her question for a second before he noticed the graze on her cheek.

He smirked.

"Well, I think you need your injuries looked at" He touched her cheek. She flinched, smirking as she pushed his hand away playfully. They both snickered before he leaned back against her knees.

"I'm sure we'll figure something out. We always do" He mumbled to her. She leaned back against the couch thinking about his comment. He was right, despite everything that had happened, he was right. When he was beside her, everything always seemed to work out. It was funny when she thought about it, everything bad that had ever happened in her life, he was there for her. To catch every tear that fell from her cheeks. He supported her, both emotionally and physically. He was always there to pick her up when she fell. She needed him. She needed him and she never told him. She knew, if he left, it would destroy her. She wouldn't be able to stop herself. No one would. She loved him and she couldn't tell him. What if it ruined their relationship. No, she wouldn't risk it. She depended on him too much.

Instead, she placed her hand on his and smiled.

She noticed him smile back at her and she knew everything was going to be alright because they had each other's back, forever.