I, bm89 (bonosaurus on The Twitter), hereby grant Rick and the Writer's Room express permission to steal any dialogue or other… erm, activities… contained in this one shot.

#PleaseDoNotSinkMyShip

##

It was strange and not, at the same time, seeing him in here.

Like a hundred other normal mornings before this one.

Like nothing had changed.

But something had.

He bent down to spit out the last remnants of toothpaste, and when he stood straight again, he saw her reflection in the mirror, leaning up against the doorframe, watching him.

"Good morning," she said, walking up to him and lifting herself onto the vanity so she was facing him, just off to the side.

It was familiar. He was familiar… but, at the same time, she felt a shyness seep into her bones that she hadn't felt around him since when their relationship first started changing. And she knew that she was more to blame for that shift than anyone.

"Hey," he smiled, reaching for the can of shaving cream. "Noah already gone?"

Olivia nodded. "Lucy just left with him." She watched his arm flex as he shook the can, and just before he sprayed a dollop into his hand, before she could stop herself, she reached out and touched a hand to his arm. "Can I?"

He merely shrugged, handing her the can and watching amusedly as she squirted some onto her hands. She rubbed them together, spreading the foam, and then reached out for his face. Their eyes locked and she smiled softly at him before lightly slapping the cream onto his face, chuckling as drops it flew outward, some landing on her cheek, in her hair.

"Nice," he said sarcastically, trying not to open his mouth too much as she spread the foam on his cheeks, smiling at her with his eyes instead. "Have you done this before?"

"Nope." Olivia's voice was light – flirtatious, even - and she winked at him as she rinsed the remaining cream off of her hands, drying them on a towel before picking up the razor and pulling his body into the space between her legs. "Hold still."

His hands came to rest on her bare thighs as he complied with her demand, and he watched her silently, her face steeped in concentration as she carefully guided the razor along his skin.

While she was focused intently on her movements, his eyes took her in. Her face was fresh, makeup free, but somehow more beautiful than any other way he'd seen her. He loved her like this, her walls down. It was a unique kind of vulnerability and over time, he'd grown to crave this side of her.

Her hair, which had been fanned out across his chest when they'd finally settled and fallen asleep last night, was now pulled back into a messy bun, strands going every which way.

"I like your hair like this," he observed, eyeing a tendril as it slipped the hold of her hair tie and fell across her forehead, just over her eye.

Her eyes flicked up to his briefly as she rinsed the blade before leaning back in to continue. "I haven't even brushed it yet," she chuckled.

"You should wear it like this more often," Ed suggested. "It's… edgy. I like it."

Humoring him, Olivia spared a backward glance at the mirror. "It looks like I had crazy sex last night," she deadpanned.

Ed's eyes narrowed playfully and he shrugged one shoulder, "Well…." He sounded smug and though she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of a reaction, she smiled, impishly rolling her eyes as she continued.

It felt like it had been forever since he was close to her like this; close enough to smell a hint of coffee on her breath, the lingering notes of the perfume she wore emanating off her skin, to see the tiny flecks of gold hidden in the warm brown of her eyes.

He missed her.

Olivia tried to ignore the butterflies in her stomach. It had been a long time since they'd been this close without some other motive behind the proximity. She could feel his eyes on her; studying her, appreciating her, seeing so much deeper than her skin, like only he could.

It was almost unsettling, and she tried to swallow inconspicuously under his persistent stare before finding her voice to direct him.

"Tilt back for a second," her voice was barely above a whisper, and he stretched his upper lip over his teeth and tilted his head back so she could get to the space between his lips and nose.

His eyes were on the wall above her mirror at first, but as she delicately worked the razor over his skin, he glanced down at her and struggled to keep still against the laughter that bubbled up; absorbed in her task, she had contorted her face to mimic his, her upper lip stretched over her teeth.

"What?" She smiled at him self-consciously, dipping the razor into the sink again to rinse.

"Nothin'," Ed shook his head. He ran his hands up and down her thighs, gradually increasing his coverage until his fingertips dipped underneath the hem of her shorts, pushing them up a little higher on her thighs.

"Captain," she warned with a smirk, purposefully not catching his eye.

"Yes?"

"If I was you, I'd be careful with your hands while I'm holding a blade to your face…"

At first he chuckled, conceding her point, but then he replied and his response was so soft, it was almost inaudible over the sounds of their breathing and the ambient noises in the room; the drip of her faucet, the whir of the air conditioning kicking in. "I trust you."

Olivia chose not to respond, only smiled at him as she finished one final stroke. She rinsed the razor before reaching for a towel to wipe the excess moisture from his face. She reached up, gripping his chin between her thumb and index finger, turning his head right and then left to admire her handiwork.

"Well, whaddaya say?"

"Not bad for a first-timer," she concluded quietly.

Ed smiled softly at her, stepping further into the space between her legs and reaching up to push a strand of hair away from her face. He felt her hands grip his hips, bunching the fabric of his shirt in her hands. His eyes fell to hers and for long seconds, they merely looked at each other, fully ensconced in the moment, savoring the closeness.

Olivia steeled herself, knowing she needed to be the one to initiate this conversation; the one they had never gotten around to having when he'd surprised her at her door the previous night.

She took a deep breath. "I'm glad you came by yesterday," she admitted softly.

"Yeah?" Truthfully, he wasn't sure she would be. But… he had to see her.

Olivia nodded. She lifted her hands to his arms, the same arms she loved to be held in, the same arms that held her son, too.

We have a good thing going here, the three of us.

That seemed like a lifetime ago and like yesterday, all at once.

She traced her fingertips along his skin until she was gripping his hands; his fingers nestled in the spaces between hers. She looked down at them, intertwined, her thumb absently running across his skin, feeling the rough softness of him.

"Ed," she whispered, "I hope you know I'm not…trying to push you away."

Ed shook his head and stepped even closer to her. "Hey," he prompted, squeezing her hand. When she looked up at him, he continued. "I knew when we started this that I wasn't going to be your first, or even second, priority," he told her. "I don't need to be." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, his lips lingering against her skin for a brief moment. "I wouldn't dream of coming before Noah, and I know how important your job is…"

"But," she interjected, looking up at him imploringly, searchingly, "you're important to me, too. You know that, right?"

He smiled, "I know, Liv. And I know you've heard it before and you haven't always been able to trust it in the past, but…. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere." At her nod, he continued, reaching one hand up to stroke her face. "I know you need space sometimes, and that's okay. Just," he took a deep breath, and the warmth in his eyes as he looked at her made her heart physically clench in her chest. "Just…remember that you don't have to do this alone anymore."

Olivia leaned forward, letting go of his hands to wrap her arms around his middle, burying her face in the hard planes of his chest. She breathed in deeply, listening to his heart thud consistently, reassuringly beneath her ear. She soaked up his scent and the way they fit so perfectly together, and she realized just how much she'd missed him over the past several weeks.

"I don't deserve you," she muttered.

Ed returned her embrace, squeezed her a little harder and whispered emphatically in her hair. "Don't say that. It's not true."

They pulled apart slowly, but not far, their bodies still touching in more places than they weren't.

Ed reached behind her, gently pulling the hair tie from her brown locks, running his fingers through the silky strands as they naturally fell in waves down her back and across her shoulders. She closed her eyes, leaning into his touch as his fingers scraped along her scalp until he was cradling the back of her head.

When she opened her eyes again, he was staring at her, blue eyes lazily moving over her features as if memorizing her all over again; the arch in her perfectly sculpted eyebrows, that scar, barely visible on her right temple, the fullness of her lips.

She felt a warmth flood her face as she blushed under his adoring gaze.

Beautiful.

Her eyes darted between his and she tightened her grip at his waist, as if ensuring that, even if he wanted to move away from her, he couldn't.

"Do you have to go in?"

Subtly, he shook his head, letting a hand drop to where it was caressing the side of her neck, his thumb stroking the underside of her jaw. "Not for a while," he whispered.

And then, simultaneously, they both leaned in, Ed craning his neck downward to meet her halfway as their lips touched.

The kiss was brief, and Olivia pulled away only slightly to look in his eyes one more time, the corner of her mouth lifting into a half smile, before snaking a hand up his chest to grip the back of his neck and pulling him in for another kiss.

As soon as they connected again, Ed released a low moan, breathing deeply through his nose as they pulled each other as close as they could get without fusing together completely. He sucked her lower lip between his, savoring the familiar taste of her, before tilting his head and teasing her with a light flick of his tongue.

They kissed slowly, zealously; drawing faint moans and whimpers as they rediscovered the planes and contours of each other's mouths.

When they separated, breathing heavily, Ed leaned his forehead against hers, letting his hands travel from where they were tangled in her hair down to her arms, then lower, running his palms along the smooth skin of her thighs.

"Wow," she breathed, her thumb scratching at the short hairs at the nape of his neck.

He hummed in agreement. "I missed that."

"I missed you," she countered, lifting her forehead from his and caressing his cheek as they looked in each other's eyes.

Ed smirked at her, squeezing her thighs. "You don't have to, ya know," he reminded her gently.

Olivia gave him a shy smile and shook her head as if to silently scold herself. "You make me so… happy, Ed," she told him. "But…I'm not—" She took a deep breath; closing her eyes briefly to summon the right words. "I'm not used to that. I'm not used to being able to trust that," she corrected.

"You trust me, right?"

Her response was immediate and emphatic as she took his head in her hands. "With my life, with Noah's life." she said. "With my heart..."

Ed nodded, reaching up to grasp her arms in his hands, squeezing lightly as he rubbed, up and down. "I'm here, Liv," he rasped. "I know you're gonna try to push me away sometimes, but you can never push me far enough that I won't always be right here."

"I know." She did. Despite her fears, her own hesitations, there wasn't a single part of her that doubted him or his promises to her. Though others had given her the same assurances in the past, no one had ever meant them more than Ed did.

No one had ever loved her more than he did.

"Can I kiss you more?"

Olivia chuckled, her grip on his head tightening ever so slightly in anticipation. "I'll be a little upset if you don't…"

"Well, we can't have that, can we?" He stepped further into the space between her legs and smiled when he felt her ankles lock behind him, holding him to her.

She sat up a little straighter on the vanity, eliminating some of the distance between them as his mouth came crashing back to hers. He let one hand find it's way to her hair again, tangling his fingers in the strands. His other hand gripped her hip firmly, pulling her into him as his tongue slipped into her waiting mouth, swirling around hers, tasting her.

Olivia dragged her hands down his back as their lips moved over each other in tandem, digging her nails in just slightly and smiling into another kiss as he groaned in response. When her hands reached the hem of his t-shirt, she dipped underneath the fabric, sighing into his mouth as her fingertips came into contact with the deliciously warm flesh of his lower back.

He tore his lips from hers, using the hand in her hair to pull her head back just slightly so he could drop kisses along her neck and jawline, nipping and sucking at her skin as he went.

"I love the way you taste," he growled, and she couldn't hold back the whimper his words conjured.

She brought her hands to his sides, still under his shirt, and started dragging the material up his torso until he was forced to raise his arms so she could tear it off. No sooner did it hit the floor than her hands were all over his bare chest, her lips not far behind them, re-marking the territory.

Hers.

His hands dropped to her hips, gripping the hem of her t-shirt before lifting it off of her and tossing it behind him, not caring at all where it landed. And just like that, her torso was bare; her chest flushed, heaving from the intensity of their fervent kisses.

"You're beautiful," he rasped, bringing one hand up to push a few hairs out of her face that had fallen when he removed her shirt, the other sliding up her stomach to test the weight of a breast in his hand, squeezing gently.

Instead of responding, she pulled his face down to hers and captured his lips once again, pulling his bottom lip between her teeth as she pulled away before covering his mouth with hers again.

He grunted into her mouth when he felt her hand sneak down his chest to rub his burgeoning arousal through his boxer shorts, and, gasping for breath, he tore his mouth from hers.

"Liv, if you… I'm gonna—" He swallowed deeply, pulling her hands away from him and guiding them around his neck before grabbing her hips and pulling her closer to the edge of the counter.

He leaned forward, pressing himself against her, making her moan softly as he slanted his body over hers, silently directing her to lean backward so her upper back was pressed to the mirror.

Dipping his head down, he smiled as he began trailing kisses across her chest and collarbone, teasing her peaked nipples with his tongue, her soft gasps and encouraging moans music to his ears.

"Ed," she breathed, tightening her grasp on the back of his head, scratching her nails lightly along his scalp as his mouth worked her body into a frenzied state.

She'd almost forgotten what this was like; the things he could make her feel. She closed her eyes, pressing a sweet kiss to the top of his head, his forehead, until her lips were on his temple.

"I need you to touch me," she whispered.

Ed wrapped one arm around her midsection, supporting her weight under her lower back as he helped her lift her hips enough to slide her shorts down. He backed out of her embrace only to get the shorts down her legs before his hands were back on her body, gripping her thighs and gazing at her hungrily as her eyes followed his every move.

"Touch me," she prompted him again, and the corner of his mouth lifted in a small smirk as his hands traveled further up her thighs, almost to where they met with her hips. She hadn't been wearing underwear; just threw on a pair of shorts when she pried herself out of his arms and out of bed this morning, and Ed was thankful.

He continued teasing her, trailing feather-light touches along the sensitive skin of her upper and inner thighs, taunting her with his proximity but denying her what she really wanted until she was practically vibrating with need.

Olivia felt his thumb swipe dangerously close to her core and she seethed, letting her head drop back against the mirror as she struggled to control her body's visceral reaction to him.

"Ed," she warned through gritted teeth. And though she was expecting it, bracing for it, had asked for it, when his fingers finally made contact with the wet flesh of her center, she cried out, arching her back, arms flailing as she reached for something – anything – to hold onto, sending half the contents of the bathroom counter into the sink. "Jesus," she hissed, smiling faintly as she heard Ed chuckle at her robust physical reaction. "Shut up," she warned him.

She reached for him, pulling his lips to hers as he continued to torment her, dipping a finger into her entrance as his tongue teased her lips. Another touch, firmer this time, and her body jerked again, sending more things into the sink, and Ed pried his lips from hers on a husky laugh, resting his forehead against hers as they both struggled to catch their breath.

"I think we might need more room."

##

Ed pulled her upright again and she wrapped her arms around his neck as he lifted her into his arms by the back of her thighs. He waited until her legs wrapped around his waist before removing his hands, splaying them across her naked back and sliding up to grip her shoulders as he shuffled toward the door.

Her hands charted a course all over his upper back and head; her lips sliding along his neck until he felt her hot breath on his ear, her teeth pulling on the lobe. He groaned in response, planting open-mouthed kisses along any part of her skin that he could reach as he walked, almost blindly toward the bedroom.

"Ed," she sighed.

Suddenly his forward progress was halted, his body yanked backward, and he looked up to see her hand gripping tightly to the doorframe, her eyes twinkling mischievously as they met his. "Wait," she whispered, pressing her parted lips against his, finding his tongue immediately as they hovered in the space between one room and the next.

Nearly every inch of her body was touching some part of his, and she moaned as he maneuvered them, pressing her into the nearest wall and holding her in place with his pelvis firmly against hers. His hands, now free to roam, blazed a path up and down her sides, along her thighs, before finding her hands and holding them to the wall over her head as he pushed his hips into hers, over and over again.

"Fuck," she moaned, throwing her head back into the wall when she felt his lips sucking at her pulse point.

They were both passionate people and, throughout their relationship, had no problems loving each other that way. But this was different, and somehow, they both knew that. The intensity was elevated; the sheer need they had for each other, off the charts.

It made her wonder how she'd gone this long without his touch, his kiss.

Olivia fought back weakly against the grip he had on her wrists and he relented, lowering his hands to her hips as her arms wrapped tightly around his neck.

"Oh, God, Ed."

She whimpered against his neck at the delicious friction of his still-clothed erection rubbing against her sensitive flesh and, desperate to feel more of him skin-on-skin, she reached down to his waistband in an attempt to free him of the last article that separated them.

With the way his body was pinning hers to the wall, however, she had no leverage, and instead settled for pushing her hips harder into his, in time with his movements.

Anything for more.

More pressure.

More friction.

More Ed.

Sensing her increasing desperation, her body's raring need for release, Ed pulled his mouth from her neck, panting, his blue eyes meeting hers. Her lips quirked in the barest of smiles and she reached up, wrapping a hand around his neck and pulled him closer so their foreheads touched.

He chose that moment to vary the speed and pressure of his hips grinding into hers, smirking lazily when she threw her head back on a moan. She could come just from this, and he knew it, moving his body with purpose against hers until she was practically quivering in his arms.

"Ed," she gasped, lowering her head back to his. "Mm," she hummed, furrowing her brow and biting her lip in concentration. "…Don't stop."

"Never," he rasped, watching her, rapt as she lost control.

Her moans increased in pitch and frequency until her whole body tensed in his arms, her fingers digging into his upper back and a feral sound, unlike anything he'd ever heard from her, erupted from her throat. Her hips briefly stilled against his before resuming subtle movements as she came down from her release.

"Jesus," she breathed, closing her eyes and sluggishly leaning her head back against the wall.

##

Her orgasm had taken the edge off, but she knew Ed had to be dying, his hard length pressed to her still-throbbing core. Olivia gently caressed his neck, peppering his face and head with small kisses as he took deep breaths against her, trying to regulate his own reaction to her pleasure. She brought her hands up to cup his face and pulled him in for a slow, passionate kiss.

"Bed?" she breathed when the kiss broke, resting her glistening forehead against his and looking into the steel blue of his eyes.

Ed grunted in response and she squealed when she felt her sated body being pried off the wall as he turned toward her bedroom, still holding her tightly in his arms.

Olivia slung one arm around his neck, gripping his bicep with the other, and he gently lowered her onto the mattress amidst the sheets that were still tangled from the night before.

He hovered over her, creating a space between their bodies where there hadn't been one before, and she shivered as air hit her dampened skin. Olivia brought a hand to his lower back, pulling back into her so they were pressed together again.

"Okay?" he asked. He ran his fingers through her hair and his eyes darted between hers.

She smiled. "Perfect."

Watching him as he moved his hands and his mouth all over her body, she was brought back to their first time; the deliberate way in which he stimulated each of her most erogenous zones the only marked difference between then and now. They knew exactly which buttons to push on each other and when to push them.

Time had intensified the connection between them and it was as if they'd been doing this for a lifetime, not merely a year.

Ed removed his boxers when she began writhing more insistently underneath him, her arousal climbing again, and when he sheathed himself inside her, she dug her fingers into his hips, mouth agape, gasping as she adjusted to the fullness.

He took her breath away. Every time.

Their bodies found a natural cadence, one they had perfected together, and he used every touch, every kiss, every word whispered in her ear as he moved over her to reinforce what he'd been trying to tell her all along.

He wasn't going anywhere.

##

They were quiet for a while after, catching their breaths and soaking in the closeness after much too long an absence. He'd grown accustomed to the warmth of her body next to his over the past months; he liked having someone to hold.

Ed lay flat on his back, his left arm holding Olivia to him and his right, playing with the fingers of her left hand where it lay on his stomach. Silently, he admired her delicate hand in his. Soft skin that was just as capable of being a comfort – to him, to Noah, to the victims she helped – as it was being fierce, strong; a force to be reckoned with.

That was Olivia: the kind of softness that you wanted to wrap yourself in after a hard day, but tough when she needed to be.

He traced each of her fingers, one by one, admiring the subtle femininity of their features. When he got to her left ring finger, he paused, lingering, before he felt her tense against him ever so slightly, keenly aware of where his attention was focused, and he moved on.

When he took a deep breath, her upper body rose and fell with his chest, and she closed her eyes, steeling herself for the inevitable.

"Liv?" he rasped.

Olivia waited a beat before acknowledging him. "Hmm?"

"You wanna tell me what happened?" he asked her gently.

She blinked slowly, giving herself a second before opening her eyes again, her gaze transfixed on the attention his hand was still giving hers.

"No?" she hazarded.

There was a playfulness, teasing, in her voice that he could hear, and he released a breathy chuckle before she lifted herself off of his chest, propping herself up on her elbow so she could meet his eyes.

"C'mon," he coaxed, releasing her hand and cupping her face, smiling slightly when her eyes drifted shut and she leaned into his touch. "Babe…please talk to me," he pleaded.

Olivia's mind and her heart were a maze of complicated emotions; some of which even she didn't fully understand, but looking at him, feeling the love and concern radiating off of him, she swallowed her trepidation and tried to find the words.

"I just…" She sighed, resting her hand on his stomach and caressing his skin absently. "I guess I'm still figuring out how to juggle everything," she admitted. Ed nodded his understanding and bravely, she continued. Talking about this stuff had never been easy for her, but she needed to say these things just as much as he needed to hear them. "My squad needs me. This job is as demanding as it's ever been – probably even more, with Mike gone," she said sadly, meeting his eyes briefly before looking down at her hand and tracing patterns along the lines and ridges of his chest.

Ed dropped his hand to her shoulder, rubbing her upper arm rhythmically while she spoke. A thousand things popped into his head that he wanted to say, to reassure her, but he held his tongue, knowing his opportunity would come and that for now, she needed to get it all out.

"I feel like I wasn't spending enough time with Noah even before all that happened," she waved her hand dismissively as she brought up Mike's death once again, "and it's only gotten worse." Her breath caught in her throat and she reached up to wipe a stray tear from the corner of her eye.

Being a mother – a good mother – was so important to her; having to spend so much of her time away from her son, missing milestones, just missing him in general, was a bitter pill for her to swallow. She couldn't help but feel like she was letting him down. But spending more time with him meant leaving her squad in a lurch, and the victims needed her, too.

Olivia chuckled self-deprecatingly, "And then, there's you…" She smiled at him tenderly. "I care about you so much, Ed. You make me and Noah so happy." Ed felt his heart clench in his chest as he watched her struggle to maintain her composure. "But I've never been good at…" she gestured between them, "this." She sighed. "I'm just so scared."

"Why?" he pushed her gently. "I'm here, Liv. I'm not going anywhere."

"Being happy has never lasted for me before," she said simply. "I've always waited for the other shoe to drop, and eventually, it always did," she shrugged. "And here we are…"

She trailed off, taking a deep breath to gather herself before continuing, her voice softer as she thought of everything they'd survived, both together and separately, since their relationship became something more. He watched her intently, hanging on her every word as she poured her heart out to him, letting him in.

"This past year has been just…the best, despite so many reasons why it shouldn't have been, and I know that's because of you." She gave him a teary smile, reaching blindly for his hand and squeezing it in her own. "You mean so much to me, and Noah," she assured him. "I'm just so used to…not getting used to that, that I'm gonna get in my own way sometimes."

"What can I do?"

"You've already done it," she smiled, and when he furrowed his brow in confusion, she pressed on. "If you feel me starting to slip away, just…hold me tighter. Love me louder," Olivia whispered. "I want this with you, Ed." Her voice was emphatic and her brown eyes pierced his blue ones, imploring him to understand. "Sometimes, I just need—"

"I know, Liv," Ed interrupted. "I will." He sat up, his movement forcing her to do the same, and he pushed a hair out of her face, cupping the back of her head as he leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers. "You and me, and Noah… This is a good thing. We've both been waiting so long to find this. I'm not letting you go…"

Olivia's hand reached up to grip his forearm and she pulled her head back to look in his eyes before leaning and touching her lips to his once, then again before pulling away. "Me neither."

Ed smirked at her, feeling the heaviness that had been weighing on his chest the past few weeks get a little lighter now that they'd had an opportunity to air all this out and get back on solid ground again. "C'mere," he husked, pulling her back into his embrace and reclining once again. He buried his face in her hair and inhaled the muted coconut scent from her shampoo.

"Liv?"

"Hmm?" Her voice sounded adorably sleepy and he smiled into her hair as she burrowed herself a little deeper into his side.

"You don't have to be everything to everyone…all the time, ya know," Ed reminded her gruffly, releasing his hold on her as he felt her shift so she could look in his eyes. "Life's all about balance, right? It's always gonna be shifting," he shrugged, rubbing her back as he spoke.

Olivia hummed in agreement. "Oh, Wise One," she quipped.

"I'm just sayin'," Ed deflected her joke, rolling his eyes. "You're always gonna be a good mom when your boy needs you. And a good Lieutenant when your squad needs you."

"And what about when you need me?"

"Just be you," he said simply, pressing a kiss to her forehead and pulling her back into him. "You're already everything I need just by bein' you."

##

A/N: No, I haven't forgotten about You and I. It's currently kicking my ass. But, fear not, I have a plan…

Title and the "love me louder" line came from a quote I saw on Instagram:

When you find me lost in my mind, drowning in my own thoughts, please just love me louder. I'll always hear you. And I'll always find my way back. –Amanda Vegas

#LongLiveTheTuckson