Protect

Following up Star Crossed with another romantic repair for Destiny...this time with Shinn and Stella. Because Stella's death was the first time I genuinely wanted to punch Kira's lights out, and for someone to attack the Archangel. So much for never aiming for the cockpit!

This story and Star Crossed are connected – Mir's not on the Archangel bridge because she's with Dearka and Yzak in space, so Lacus is still in her old spot.

**~Inside Destroy Gundam, Ten Minutes to the Berlin Invasion~**

"To Protect – the act of risking one's life to save another's."

"Risk...your own life? Risk...dying?"

Stella Loussier, second generation Extended, leaned back against the high backed seat in the cockpit of GFAS-X1 Destroy, staring at the small computer screen that was relaying this information to her yet not really seeing it. The slender tall blonde shivered compulsively when she spoke the variation of her Block Word, though her handler would have noted it was much weaker than her normal reaction to it. "Risk...dying...so someone else won't...?"

Protect. It was a difficult thing for an Extended to comprehend, in their damaged and drugged up mindsets. Having been systematically trained, tortured, degraded and mistreated since childhood left no memory of the experience of empathy...or even a concept of what it was. Stella herself only remembered pain, suffering, and blanks as her history, leaving her to believe the world is full of monsters and scary things that would kill her if they got the chance. What she unfortunately never really realized (thanks, repeated mindwipes and drugs!) was that most of the 'monsters' she ran into didn't mean her real harm; in fact, she was in more danger around the few people she had the capacity to trust. Those who deliberately manipulated her fear, her pain, and her incomplete understanding of the world. But that all changed just a few weeks ago.

"Risked...then...then Shinn..." Whispering his name made her heart jump, she looked all around the world surrounding her in hopes of seeing him. Of course, he wasn't anywhere nearby. She clenched her hands on the controls. "Shinn...could have died...saving me...?"

Stella's mind leapt back; back to her fuzzy memories of that day. She had fallen into the water, splashing and flailing as she tried to right herself...when suddenly someone grabbed her from behind, pulling her to the shore...she fought and struggled with him, not understanding what he was doing until he was too weak to fight and he dragged her back into shallow water. She remembered what he looked like to her, at first – a slender, shadowed creature with horns and glowing red eyes, a black aura surrounding him... "Are you trying to die, you twit?!" sounded to her less like an angry/worried/disbelieving chastisement, but a guttural, brutal threat. She tried to run, to flee, but she was exhausted, confused and scared...and then...

"I know. I understand. But it's okay now. I'll protect you. I swear I'll protect you."

Protect.

The word had screamed across Stella's fragile mental landscape, silencing her struggles and leaving her in shock for a moment. For a second, she wondered if Neo had found her somehow. Neo and Auel and Sting were the only people who had ever been gentle to her. But she knew it wasn't them. They had never held her like this. They had never touched her like this. She had never felt like this. It felt...it felt nice. What was it?

He lead her back to the main land, and gently set her down on a rock, allowing Stella to get a better look at him. The darkness and the evil shadows around him...seemed to simply melt away, revealing a handsome young man with gentle eyes, who bound her ankle, called for help, and built a fire to keep her warm.

"My name is Shinn. It's Shinn Asuka. Can you remember that?"

And she had. She remembered it despite two mind wipes back to back. She remembered it despite the drugs and the exhaustion and the fear. And most importantly, she also remembered his promise.

"I'll protect you."

Where was Shinn? Where was he right now? Was he okay? Why hadn't he come with her?

Stella's memory of the Minerva and its infirmary were somewhat hazy. She remembered attacking the doctors – she had looked at them and seen the faces of the men from Lodonia. She remembered trying to strangle Shinn before her drug addled mind recognized him. She remembered being tied down...but not feeling any pain, other than knowing she was going without 'the drink'. The nurse who had been gentle with her...and Shinn, always at her bedside, holding her, comforting her.

When he was there...Stella could think. She remembered little bits and pieces about herself, about the world – she remembered being very young, sitting in front of a TV, watching a movie. It had made her cry, because the boy and girl at the end died together. There had been someone sitting next to her, running her fingers through her hair...

"There's probably someone who would worry if you went missing. What about your father? Or your mother?"

That woman...Stella heard a soft, weak laugh when she closed her eyes. A fragile woman with long blonde hair and sad, but strong eyes. Was that...her mother? She had a mother...but...but now she didn't have her. What had happened to her mother? Had her mother sent her to Lodonia? Or had...had her mother died?

Trying to think back too far made Stella's mind blank. Memories of Lodonia, fighting there, struggling there – being strapped to an operating table, being pumped full of drugs, the pale man with hateful eyes who was always watching them with a smirk. Somehow Stella knew that, it was that man who made her the way she was now. Always afraid or angry or alone. He wanted her to kill people, to break the hourglass colonies up among the stars, and never once had he told her why. He was the devil – he had to be. Stella heard he was gone now; she hadn't seen him again since the end of the first war. She was glad of it. If only his death had erased his laugh and his hateful eyes from her fragmented memory. Was he...her father? The idea filled her with revulsion.

Maybe Neo was her father.

Before Shinn, he had been the only person she could remember who had been kind to her...and therefore the only person who didn't look like a monster. Her and Auel and Sting, there had always been the chance that they would have to kill each other. That was consistent, in Lodonia. Only the strongest survived. The best warriors. The cruelest. The most heartless.

Abomination. Patchwork. Tool. Those words flitted through Stella's memory, and she began to shoot nervous looks out of the Destroy's cameras.

Some of the people who had come into Lodonia had been wearing Earth Forces Uniforms. It began to dawn on Stella that she was surrounded by those people right now, and an ice cold sensation washed down her spine. What did they want with her? What more...what more harm could they cause her? No, if they wanted to hurt her now, why would they let her be inside this Gundam?

Shinn. Shinn, where are you? I'm afraid. I'm confused. I...I want you to be here, right now.

A painful, keening longing burst inside Stella's chest. She wanted her Shinn. She even wanted to be back in the Black and Red Ship – the Minerva? She was pretty sure she had heard him call it the Minerva. Like her first mobile suit had been called The Gaia. They had been nice to her, there. A red haired girl with pigtails had visited and asked if she was alright, purely because she could. Was she a friend of Shinn's?

Then something occurred to Stella all at once. Something that made her slam her foot down on the Destroy's breaks, bringing it to a grinding halt.

Shinn's friend was on the Black and Red ship. Therefore...Shinn was on the Black and Red Ship...the Minerva...he was one of the soldiers there...?

And she had been given orders to take down the Minerva. To destroy it.

To kill everyone on board.

To kill...Shinn.

Stella froze completely and utterly, her hands turning to stone around the movement controls. She couldn't hear Neo speaking into the channel, saying her name, speaking nonsense. The realization was bouncing around her head like a crashing tidal wave, utterly superseding any other thoughts she had. All this time...Shinn had been on the Minerva...she had been trying to kill Shinn...

Shinn! Shinn could have died!

"Stella! Stella! What's wrong?! Talk to me!" Neo shouted, and finally she heard him. Shakily her hand went and pushed the button.

"Shinn..." Stella took a shaky breath. "I could've...I could've...killed Shinn..."

"What? Shinn...that boy from before?" Neo sounded confused.

Stella didn't answer. Her mind was a storm as she started to put little pieces together. These people...were the same men from Lodonia. They wanted to hurt...and kill...and destroy. Shinn...he must have promised to protect the Minerva, that's why he was with them...maybe he was even one of those mobile suit pilots...! Shinn...wanted to protect people from them...he'd...had he wanted to protect her from them? That's why...he gave her back to Neo...so she'd be safe...

"So please! Take her back to a world of kindness! A world of warmth!"

Except...they hadn't...they had brought her here. Because they didn't want a kind, warm world. They wanted a burned out, empty one.

Stella's eyes narrowed into slits. She reached out and pressed the transform button on the Destroy. As the monstrous weapon shapeshifted, she examined her cameras more carefully...truly seeing the world for the first time...

She saw children and their parents, families, ordinary workers, staring up at her with absolute terror. She saw masses of innocents, fleeing down the roads, or just frozen where they stood, looking up at the people who would decide their fates. She saw the lines of ZAFT soldiers, now no longer quite the twisted abominations from her dreams...instead, a bunch of people forming a solid line between the fleeing civilians and a horror they had no chance of defeating.

Protect.

"I swear I'll protect you."

They couldn't protect those small people...

But she could.

"Stella. Are you beginning the mission? The monsters are waiting for us."

"...They're not monsters."

"...What?!"

Stella could scarcely believe she had said it. But it was true. Her eyes swept over the people running away. "They're all so scared, Neo. Can't you see they're scared? Monsters aren't afraid of anything." She pointed one of the Destroy's massive hands into the city, where people were trying to get to the underground shelters.

This earned a barrage of missiles from the nervous ZAFT soldiers. Of course, they harmlessly struck the Destroy's life wave barrier, only mildly annoying the pilot sitting safely inside. Normally this would have sent Stella into a panicked frenzy...but today, her mind was strangely clear. She wasn't in danger...not at the moment. Besides...

"Look at them, Neo. They don't stand a chance," She said sadly. "But they're staying. Why would monsters stay and fight a bigger monster, when they know they can't win?"

"Stella..." Neo was starting to feel panic creep up on him. He had assumed that a mind wipe would remove all of Stella's interactions with the outside world...but she had still remembered that kid's name. Shinn. That had never happened before. Something was different. Something was very different, and that was not good. "They just assume they can. Monsters and scary things aren't able to feel fear."

"Then why are they afraid?" Stella shook her head. "They're running away, hundreds of them. They're the little ones...brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers." Her voice grew a little more strident as she reclaimed each word, those significant phrases, pieces of her humanity that had been systematically and cruelly stripped away for years.

"I shouldn't...shouldn't hurt them..."

She took a deep breath. "We should...protect them."

**~Dijbril's Office, miles away~**

"It's not doing anything," Dijbril said obviously, staring at the screen showing him the Destroy and its escort forces. The machine had transformed, and then just...sat there? It wasn't moving. It hadn't used a single one of its weapons like it was supposed to – to punish the cities that refused to support the Earth Alliance. It pointed its hand, but didn't use any of the chain-guns embedded in it. One of the escorts was hovering in front of it, apparently talking. It. Was. Just. Sitting. There. "Why the hell is it not doing anything?!"

"You tell me, Dijbril!" One of his associates sputtered. "I thought this was supposed to be your secret weapon!"

"Who's piloting it?! Or what's piloting it? One of the Biological CPUs? Has it shorted out, and needs to be replaced with another?"

Dijbril sputtered and cursed and drew a line, glaring at the many screens showcasing this irregular event. "Neo Roanoke! WHAT IS THE HOLDUP?! WHY AREN'T YOU ATTACKING?!"

**~Back with Stella~**

"Protect...you aren't making any sense, Stella!"

"Yes I am!" Stella argued, pouting, not understanding why Neo wasn't seeing the obvious decision to make. "Isn't that why we're out here? To protect something?"

Meanwhile, the ZAFT ground forces had decided to take advantage of this apparent discord/malfunction/whatever was going on with that giant mobile suit to kick the evacuation into overdrive. The fleet commander ordered everyone to fall back and form defensive lines, to take positions across the streets, as soldiers directed frightened and confused civilians into the bunkers beneath the cities many buildings.

They weren't the only ones confused...

Stella gasped when the Destroy's radar beeped loudly – something was coming at her at high speeds. She had her machine take a step backwards and pointed one hand up towards the sky...as a white and blue mobile suit shot towards her.

Kira Yamato had seen a lot, ever since he'd been torn from his peaceful life at Heliopolis. He knew that sometimes, battlefield situations could be deceiving. But this? Unless he had arrived really early for once – which he doubted, considering they had found out about this operation plan of Phantom Pain's after the orders had already been issued – then why wasn't Berlin looking more, well, destroyed? That giant mobile suit...a light wave barrier protected it from his initial strike, and he flew up overhead, wondering what this meant. It looked sinister, massive and threatening. His scans showed a lot of weapons on it...weapons it wasn't using.

Something was different this time...

The Chaos and the Windams, at least, wasted no time engaging him.

"The...Freedom..." Stella murmured, leaning forward, staring up at the suit. It, too, was suddenly looking somewhat less frightening than she remembered...of course, it was still attacking her, so it wasn't like she was going to go up and hug it. But what exactly was she going to do now? She looked over her weapons panel. A few good hits should probably take it out...but not without hitting a lot of other things along the way. She looked out the cameras again.

Nope. The area was still full of people, stragglers, soldiers trying to get them out of harms way. Oh, if only she had the Gaia still. She could fight more carefully in that one!

She turned to the left. The white legged ship was approaching. Of course, the Freedom launches off it...that made sense.

Stella looked down at her channels this time. Could she...talk to them? The thought would never have occurred to her before. But what would she say? They wanted to protect people...at least she thought they did. The Freedom did that odd thing, where it hit her but didn't kill her, the first time she fought against it.

Maybe...maybe the pilot was a little like Shinn?

Her fingers reached for the button as the battle raged overhead. It was...it was worth trying, wasn't it? She had attacked Shinn before he talked to her, and he hadn't been very angry with her. Fighting her way past a decade worth of fear and brainwashing, Stella hit the button and timidly asked, "H-Hello?"

**~On board the Archangel~**

Occupying the communications station that had once been Miriallia's, Lacus Clyne's eyes widened. "M-Miss Murrue. That large mobile suit is hailing us!"

"It is?!" Murrue echoed. "What in the world is going on here..." She thought for a moment before deciding, "Put it through!"

A computer image winked into existence. It was a sixteen year old girl with shoulder length blonde hair and blue eyes, clad in a gaudy looking Earth Alliance uniform. She had a very nervous look on her face, and she was shaking slightly. "Are...are you here to protect these people?" she said this with an odd emphasis on the word 'protect'.

Cagalli blinked several times, "What...what kind of question is that? What's-?"

"Be quiet, Cagalli," Murrue said firmly, before looking back at the girl and saying calmly but kindly, "Yes, we are. Aren't you part of the attack force?"

"Attack..." The blonde pondered that for a second. "I think...I must be...but I don't want to..." She glanced out to her right, cringing. "Don't want...anyone to d-die." She flinched when she said 'die', her body tensing up like it had received an electric shock.

"I see...but if you don't want anyone to die, why are you with Phantom Pain?" Murrue asked.

The girl stared blankly at them for several seconds, as if she didn't understand the question. Murrue was about to repeat it when she became animated again, stiffly saying, "Because...b-because...I came...from Lodonia..." she shuddered. "Patchwork...abomination...biological CPU."

Murrue gasped in horror. She remembered that term. She had read about it after the first two battles at Orb, when the first EA mobile suits had been deployed. Images of those three boys, driven to psychotic insanity by drugs and institutionalized torture, flashed before her eyes. Judging by Lacus's sharp gasp, she recognized the term as well.

"What do I do...?" The girl wondered, speaking more to herself than Murrue. "I...want to...protect... ...Shinn."

Cagalli's eyes widened, and she was answering the Captain's question just as she started to phrase it. "Shinn-?" "I know him! He's a ZAFT pilot, he was inside the Impulse and flies with the Minerva."

The girl's eyes widened, and she smiled brightly. "Y-You know Shinn?! Are...are you his friend?"

Cagalli would have made a face, or responded with some explosive protest/language, if the girl asking this hadn't been inside the most destructive mobile suit ever built. While Cagalli was ruled by her temper and emotions, she wasn't a fool, so she bent the truth slightly and said, "Yes, I know him. We've met a few times."

"Then..." The girl pondered that for a second, before raising her machine's arms. "Then I will protect you and the Freedom!"

And she fired on the Windams.

**~Later~**

To say things had not gone Dijbril's way was like saying that Patrick Zala had possessed a mild dislike of Naturals.

The windam escorts had basically been vaporized to the last, with only Neo's remaining somewhat in existence – since the Freedom had shot him down before Stella unleashed her machine's canons. Gundam Chaos had also been knocked down – because of a backhand, no less – and the following EA occupation forces had been obliterated and sent running. The Destroy was sitting peacefully in the middle of a Berlin square, powered down and back in its Mobile Armour form. Stella was sitting on top of the head, looking over at the Archangel, which had landed next to her. Neo had been brought into the hospital, along with Sting – Miss Murrue had promised her that they would be taken care of.

Landing on a building nearby was the Freedom. Stella watched the pilot wire down from his machine and remove his helmet. She was surprised to see that she had been right – he was the same height as Shinn and his hair was similar, though it was brown instead of black. And he looked a little different – he didn't have the same sort of energy that Shinn did.

The boy hesitated for a moment, before jumping down onto the Destroy's weapons disk and walking over to her. "Um...hello," He said nervously. "Aren't you kind of cold?"

"I wanna watch the snow fall," Stella responded, raising her hands and gesturing to the sky. The soft flakes dissolved when they touched her skin, but for a few moments she could see the incredible shapes within them. She thought about trying to catch some on her tongue, but she didn't want to embarrass herself in front of this guy.

"I see," The boy said. "I wanted to say...I thought you were very brave. Earlier today. It must have been hard to turn against those people."

"Hard," Stella pondered. "I...I suppose so. But...but they wanted me to kill Shinn." She frowned. "No, I could never do that. Nope. Couldn't stay. Not if they were gonna hurt Shinn."

The boy sat down a few feet away from her; still giving her space while making his curiosity apparent. "Who's Shinn?"

"Uhh..." How could she define Shinn? "I love him," She settled on that, smiling. Yes, that was right. "He saved me. I...I can remember things when I think of him. And I can feel things other than pain when I remember him. I...I am more thanks to him."

"Wow." The boy then blushed. "Oh, I'm sorry. Here I am asking you stuff like this and I haven't even introduced myself. I'm Kira."

"I'm Stella." Yup. "Stella Loussier." That was her name, her name before it was stolen and taken away by Lodonia, who gave her a number and a couple of letters. Not anymore. It was hers again. And they wouldn't get the chance to steal it again. Never. She was never going back.

She looked out at the horizon...and jumped to her feet, hopping gleefully and pointing. "Oh! Oh! The Minerva! It's the Minerva!"

Kira turned in surprise to see that she was right. The Minerva was, in fact, approaching. "This...might be a bit awkward," He noted uncertainly.

"Huh?" Stella asked blankly. Awkward? Why would it be awkward? Shinn was coming! She was going to see Shinn again!

"Oh, nothing." Kira said, a little embarrassed – he hadn't meant for her to hear that. "I, um, I happen to have a friend on the Minerva too."

"You do?" Kira resisted the urge to chuckle; she sounded so happy and curious.

"Yeah. Only..." Alright, how was he going to explain this? That he had fought Athrun in a pitched battle where either could have died? Somehow he didn't think Stella would find that kind of story very appealing. "We had a big disagreement a little while ago, so I'm wondering if he's angry at me."

"Do you love him?"

Kira jumped and flushed dark red at the question; Stella was looking curiously at him. He probably would have been less flustered if it wasn't obvious that she was using her feelings for Shinn as that metric. "No! Well, yes – um – s-sort of – just, not the same way you love Shinn. He's a very dear friend of mine."

Stella blinked and tilted her head as she puzzled out what that meant. Eventually she tried, "So...like...a brother?"

"Yeah!" Kira said with a smile. "Basically."

"I see. Like Sting for me." Stella turned and watched as the Minerva came to a halt, then slowly descended to the ground. The Impulse walked out and stood on the deck. Her eyes glowed. "Shinn...!"

"Whoa! Be careful climbing down!" Kira cautioned as the blonde darted like an arrow along the disk and started scaling her way towards the ground. The brunette found himself smiling; it was good to see that Lodonia hadn't managed to destroy her completely, like they had to Orga and Clotho and Shani. It was good to see she was still human.

**~With Shinn~**

He saw her heedlessly scurrying towards him from the cameras. Ignoring the fact that the Minerva had been her enemy until recently, ignoring that this situation was still fairly tense; Captain Talia was talking to the Archangel right now. She was coming, so she could see him. His heart skipped, and he immediately disengaged the Impulse and opened the cockpit, wiring down so he could meet her.

Shinn Asuka, while he'd never been drugged or strapped to an operation table, knew the experience of constant pain. The lack of any real therapy following the mass murder of your entire family could do that to a person, especially one as passionate (pre loss) and temperamental (post loss) as him. He had a few friends, and he invested very deeply in them once he decided he cared about them; essentially making them surrogates to the family he had lost.

Lunamaria was so much like Mayu that sometimes he couldn't look her in the eye. Meryrin reminded him of his mother sometimes when she tried to soothe tempers after a mission. Rey could have been his aloof cousin, and Athrun Zala...yes, even Athrun Zala. He was the annoying older brother who always thought he knew better than you; but he cared, perhaps too much.

And then he had met Stella.

Shinn generally laughed at fairy tale concepts following his loss. Then he'd pulled a beautiful blonde dancer out of the water she'd fallen into. She had smiled at him and given him a jewel, one of the few things she had to give.

That smile, and he was a dead man. All at once. He would have, and would continue, to do absolutely anything for her. Up to and including risking a court marshal, to ensure she'd never be treated as a disposable pawn. Meeting her...he felt better. More complete...

He felt like he could be a knight in shining armour, save lives before they could be ended. Bring people happiness. Starting with her.

Either the universe hated him, or he'd been cursed, because of course she was an Extended. Of course they'd nearly killed each other a few times. And of course he found this out after going to Lodonia, when pulling her from the Gaia's cockpit.

Shinn honestly hadn't expected to see her again...at least, not out here. The guy hadn't told him where he intended to take Stella, after she had gotten her necessary medicine. Yet here she was.

"Shinn!"

Stella cannoned into him, nearly throwing him off balance. Shinn stumbled back a few steps, wrapping his arms around her midsection to steady her. Stella pulled back and looked up at his face, beaming. "You came!"

"Yeah, I did..." Shinn smiled shyly at her, reaching up and touching her hair. "But Stella...when... how did you break away from them?"

Stella bit her lip slightly. Her pure blue eyes bored into him. "Because..." She put her hands on his shoulders and squeezed tightly. "Because they wanted me to kill you." She shook her head. "No. I can't let that happen."

"O...Oh..." Shinn gently traced her cheek with one hand. "Stella...you don't have to worry about me..."

"But I do!" Stella protested, pulling him closer. Shinn felt his cheeks heat up considerably. "I do...I don't want you to die, Shinn." She buried her face in his chest, sobbing.

Anxious, and cursing himself for inadvertently upsetting her again, Shinn hugged her tighter and whispered, "It's okay, Stella! I'm not going to die. No one is going to get the better of me. I'm right here with you, and I plan to stay that way."

Stella pulled her head back and looked straight at him. They were the same height...she might even be a bit taller than him...her eyes were so captivating. They seemed more alive. Clear of the glassiness and the fear and the pain. She was alert, centered...human.

"Yes...You protect me...and I will protect you," She decided. "I will protect you and anyone you want to protect as well."

"I...Stella, I'm not su-umph!"

The start of Shinn's protest – that he didn't want her in danger, that it wouldn't be safe – broke off into illegibility as Stella took his face in her hands and kissed him hard on the mouth. A brilliant light burst into existence inside Shinn's mind, blowing away all the darkness that lurked in the corners, poisoning his conscience. Gently he returned her kiss and held her as close to him as possible. Yes, Stella. I'll protect you forever.

They clung to each other, kissing, for several seconds before breaking apart for air. Stella's cheeks were flushed lightly, and she smiled at him. "I love you, Shinn." She said happily. "I love you."

Shinn laughed a bit, eyes warm. Lunamaria and Rey, who had emerged to tell him that Talia and Murrue were meeting for some sort of conversation, both stalled and stared, because Shinn's entire image had just shifted radically.

"I love you too, Stella. I'm never leaving you again."

End Chapter

And later, the Minerva would join the Three Ships Alliance, Shinn and Kira became buddies instead of trying to kill each other, Stella was eventually viralled off the poison medicine and all was freakin well.

Read and Review please!