This is a wish by Barsonaddict – I hope you like it! :)

A thank you to FF, who betaed this!

(4100 Words)

What The Others See

No one could really remember who had been the one to suggest a squad jaunt into Central Park, but it had probably happened during one of the afternoons they'd been digging their way through the paperwork, the open windows of the precinct allowing the first summer heat to seep into the building. Everybody had agreed that it was a good idea to have all of them come together outside work, together with their families, to have some fun.

In the weeks afterwards, the plan had slowly grown, every single one of the Detectives adding their ideas to it, and soon enough the date was set for the first weekend in July. Lists of what they would need were passed around, and Olivia was looking forward to it a lot, just like everyone else – they'd had a few hard months, both professionally and privately, and an afternoon of having fun with Noah and all her friends sounded like heaven.

And then, the Saturday was there, and though there'd been a few summer thunderstorms lately, it was already wonderfully warm and sunny in the morning and while she prepared the food for the picnic, Olivia had the windows wide open, allowing the bright atmosphere to seep into her apartment. Noah was drawing happily, sitting on the couch where she could see him, and she just started washing some grapes when there was a knock at her door.

Olivia's eyes widened in surprise as she opened the door and saw Rafael standing there, one hand buried in the pocket of his jeans – if she remembered correctly, she'd never seen him wear anything so casual before. Black sneakers and a dark blue poloshirt were matching the jeans, and there was the faintest trace of stubble visible on his jaw.

"Morning," he smiled, obviously in a good mood, and Olivia cocked a questioning eyebrow. "You offered me to come along, don't you remember? I agreed."

Olivia took a step backwards to let him in, closing the door behind him and answering: "To be honest, I thought you were joking."

Rafael gave her a playful hurt look before chuckling and handing her the plastic bag he'd been holding. "My mum made some cookies and cake as soon as she heard that I'll join your picnic."

"Cute." Olivia winked, inspecting the plastic boxes inside before putting them down onto the kitchen counter next to the boxes of food she'd already prepared. "I'm nearly done, just need to do some sandwiches and fruit. You can have a look at what my little Picasso over there is producing."

She made her way back into the kitchen, hearing how Rafael greeted Noah and got an excited answer of incoherent babbling, accompanied by something that was obviously Noah's attempt to say Rafael's name.

If she was honest with herself, she'd told him about the squad jaunt in the hope that he would come along, but his answer hadn't been in a manner that she'd thought that he meant his 'Yes' serious. His smirk and the little shrug had made it look like he was joking. But now as he was sitting on her couch, entertaining Noah, she found that she was glad that he was joining them.

It warmed her heart to see Rafael and Noah on the floor with two toy cars as she came out of the kitchen with the food bag. She knew that Rafael didn't always feel particularly confident around children, but he seemed to be able to connect a lot to Noah, and they got along in a way that seemed natural.

"If I'd known that you were really joining I would have been able to get something for the sandwiches you like. I made some more, I hope you're okay with cheese and turkey?" Olivia said while grabbing a few bottles of water and stuffing them into the bag, seeing from the corner of her eye how Rafael waved it off.

"I'm okay with that. I'll keep it in mind to be a bit more clear next time," Rafael replied, allowing Noah to crawl onto his lap and play around with his wristwatch – it was an adorable sight, especially when she remembered how awkward he'd been when he'd first held Noah.

Also, Noah wasn't easily trusting people, only being completely comfortable around her, Lucy, Amanda, and Carisi... so the way he was playing with Barba was quite a surprise, and something she hadn't seen yet.

"It's not time to go yet. How about we let Noah draw something and you explain to me since when you own clothes that aren't suits?"

OoO

About an hour later, Olivia, Rafael, and Noah walked through the Central Park towards the meadow where they wanted to meet the others. Olivia was pushing Noah's stroller while Rafael was carrying the giant food bag and Olivia's purse. She'd protested, of course, but he'd been his insistent and persuasive self, so she'd not really had a choice but to let him take the bags off her.

From the distance, they could already see Amanda and Sonny preparing a place in the shadow of a tree for little Jessie while Frannie was sitting next to the baby, barking at everyone who did come too close.

They left the path to cross the meadow, and Olivia could feel Rafael's hand briefly brushing over her back as she carefully maneouvered the stroller onto the grass. Sonny waved at them with a grin while Amanda rolled her eyes behind his back, though Liv could see a small smile on the Detective's lips.

"Counselor, what a surprise!" Sonny exclaimed as they came to stop in front of them and Amanda rammed her elbow into his ribs as something slipped from his mouth that made Olivia blush. "Lieu said you didn't have time to come! I guess you didn't like to see her so disappointed, huh?"

Rafael smirked as he glanced at Liv, who was suddenly very occupied with taking Noah out of the stroller and making sure that he had his favourite stuffed animal to play with. She was glad that he didn't comment on Sonny's words, and Amanda threw her an apologetic glance as the men started to converse casually over spreading out more blankets and unpacking some of the toys they'd brought.

The arrival of Fin and his son, accompanied by his husband, prevented everything from becoming more awkward, and she soon forgot about the incident as more colleagues joined them.

They played a few games, and it was a loud and amusing affair; free from the wearing reality of their jobs for one day, they were carefree and laughed together a lot. Olivia couldn't help but smile about how much Rafael seemed to enjoy himself, too – he was in the middle of the fun, always a smirk on his face, being the complete opposite of the man she worked with. Smiling suited him well, and she made a mental note to remind him of this day when he was being grumpy about the lack of evidence she presented him with.

After playing softball for about an hour – Liv and Rafael making up a good team – everyone settled down in the shadow of the trees for the picnic. More than once did their fingers brush against each other involuntarily as they ate and handed some of the boxes with food around from time to time. Olivia couldn't bring herself to ignore the tingle that ran through her every time they touched as it was a pleasant sensation, one she hadn't felt in quite some time.

She remained seated after they'd finished eating, talking with Amanda, who was holding Jessie in her arms while Noah tentatively bonded with Frannie. While Liv certainly didn't share Amanda's interest in reality shows – she had Sonny for that – they both were fans of Gordon Ramsay's rants and watched his show even though they both weren't particularly interested in cooking. Another thing Amanda had Sonny for... that thought nearly jumped off Liv's lips during the conversation, but luckily she caught herself in time.

They were just sharing their favourite lines as Rafael suddenly sat down next to her, holding one of his mother's plastic boxes and asked: "Cookies for the ladies?"

Noah was the first one to react, of course, giving Frannie a pat before climbing over Olivia's legs, exclaiming: "I wanna cookie!"

Rafael gave her a smug grin that seemed to say 'See how I have your son wrapped around my finger' and Amanda chuckled behind her back as Olivia cocked an eyebrow. Holding his gaze, she took one of the cookies, and a warm shiver ran down her spine as he said: "Your favourite."

"Thank you," she replied, taking one of the gigantic oatmeal chocolate chip cookies out of the box and threw Amanda a glance over her shoulder – she'd been able to sense the meaningful wink the Detective had been giving her behind her back. Of course she too had no idea how he knew what her favourite kind of cookie was, but Amanda surely wasn't the right person to comment on such things, considering the fact that she was practically living together with Dominick Carisi who was being a substitute father for her daughter but didn't really want to call it a relationship.

Rafael's knee brushed against hers briefly as he shifted on the blanket so Noah could sit more comfortably on his lap, and Liv could feel how her cheeks flushed a little bit. To distract herself, she just wanted to continue talking with Amanda as a loud voice distracted her.

"Amanda, cara mia!"

A woman in her late fifties walked over the meadow, and Liv would have bet her Lieutenant badge that this was Carisi's mother – she could literally see the Italian gioia della vita radiating off the woman, and also Sonny's abrupt distraction from the game of football he was playing with the boys said everything. Amanda smiled, but it looked a little bit forced, and Liv could tell that she was nervous.

"Mrs Carisi..."

"Oh Amanda, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Regina! I just wanted to ask you if you're okay with Canneloni for lunch tomorrow," the woman babbled, and Olivia couldn't keep herself from smirking – it had to be karma that had sent Carisi's mother over.

"Uh, you could have called...," Amanda responded, her gaze wandering over to Olivia and Rafael, as if she was searching for help. "Regina, may I introduce Lieutenant Olivia Benson, my boss? And that's Rafael Barba, the Assistant District Attorney we work with?"

Regina Carisi looked at them, and her smile widened impossibly as she spotted Noah, making Liv suddenly sense danger. "Oooh, your boy is adorable. He really looks a lot like you two! You're making a lovely little family, a bit like Amanda and Sonny."

Olivia nearly choked on the bite of her cookie she was just chewing, and she started to cough hard as a few crumbs got caught at the wrong spot in her throat. Rafael was patting her back and through teary eyes, she could see him grabbing for her water bottle, and over her own coughing and the sound of his hand slapping against her back, she heard Amanda hiss: "They're not a couple, Regina!"

Sonny seemed to have spotted that things were going downhill; he came over while Liv took a few sips of water and tried to catch her breath, Rafael's hand still resting between her shoulderblades. "Mamma, what are you doing here?" he asked, a confused expression on his face as he saw Amanda's blush and Liv's desperate attempts to breathe. Liv felt like this wasn't the first time he saw her causing chaos, though.

"Oh, I just wanted to have a short chat about lunch tomorr-"

"You could have called," Sonny interrupted her, sounding just like Amanda earlier, though twice as embarrassed, and Regina seemed to take the hint, saying goodbye, but not without throwing a regretful glance into Liv's and Rafael's direction.

"I'm sorry," Amanda muttered while Sonny took Jessie from her arms, and Liv shook her head while Rafael shrugged, wiping a few crumbs from his jeans.

"I'm used to such scenes," he said dryly, and Olivia briefly remembered the day she'd met Lucia Barba and had learned that Rafael seemed to talk about her and that she drove him crazy. She didn't really know if she should see it as a compliment – after all, there were two kinds of crazy, and talking about her could mean something good or bad.

On the other hand, he'd told Lucia which was her favourite kind of cookie – a tiny detail she hadn't expected him to notice, and who knew what else he'd picked up along the way... Lost in thought, Olivia stared after him as he took Noah by the hand and walked over to the few people that were playing ball with him, holding him upright whenever his steps became insecure, and her heart ultimately melted as they started to kick the ball between them.

"I can hear your hormones raging," Amanda mumbled next to her, chuckling while grabbing a cookie.

Olivia lifted an eyebrow and looked at the younger woman, grinning: "Oh please, I've heard yours raging for months now."

OoO

The afternoon passed by way too quickly for Olivia's taste, and Noah too became a little bit whiny, which led to Rafael walking them home, and ultimately staying over for dinner. Olivia didn't really mind, it was a nice feeling to have him around, and it was cute how Noah obviously adored Rafael. Maybe it should have felt awkward to her as Rafael helped her chase down a pyjama-wearing Noah in the living room and carry him into his room, her fingers gently touching Rafael's elbow as they walked.

His calm gaze was on her as she read her son a bedtime story, and he smiled softly as their gazes met the moment she was sure that Noah had fallen asleep. He was right behind her as they tip-toed back into the living room, his fingers briefly brushing over her back, and then they stood there, in the middle of toy cars and stuffed animals, neither of them knowing what they were supposed to say.

After what seemed like an eternity of them standing there, looking each other into the eyes, Rafael cleared his throat and walked over to the kitchen counter, grabbing the bag with his plastic boxes while saying: "It's late, I guess it's time I leave."

A part of her wanted to tell him that he didn't have to go, that she had a bottle of wine in the kitchen... but somehow, she didn't have enough courage to formulate the words. Gulping, she nodded, trying to appear normal as she replied: "It's nice that you came along."

"I had a lot of fun today," he admitted with a nod, and then, he stepped forwards to hug her awkwardly. "Good night, see you on Monday."

"Good night," Olivia whispered back as she opened the door for him, smiling at him, but it faltered the moment she closed the door again, staring at her now empty living room. Somehow, it didn't feel right to let him leave just like that.

OoO

About a week later, Carisi knocked at Olivia's office door; most of the squad was preparing to leave as it was getting late, and there really wasn't anything they could do about their current case this evening.
"Hey Lieu," Sonny said, and Olivia looked up from her file, taking off her glasses and rubbing her tired eyes.

"Thought you were on your way home already?" she asked, and Sonny nodded, a smile playing around the corners of his lips.
"Yeah, Amanda and I will leave in a minute. Just wanted to give you something. I ah... well, I took some nice photos that Saturday, and I thought you might want to have these."

He placed a brown envelope on her desk and then waved a curt goodbye, leaving her office and walking over to the elevator, where Amanda was waiting for him with her coat. Olivia looked after him with a slightly puzzled expression – there'd been something odd about the way he'd behaved while talking about the photos. A little bit of smugness, mixed with a tiny wink... It was a bit confusing, but maybe he'd already been somewhere else with his thoughts.

She gingerly took the envelope and leaned back in her chair while opening it, curious about how the photos would look. Pride warmed her smile as she skimmed through the snapshots of Noah grabbing a ball or sitting next to Jessie or smearing his face with chocolate. A little laugh escaped her as she found a picture where Rafael was carrying Noah on his shoulders, the boy squealing in delight.

And suddenly, she stopped, biting her lower lip as she stared at the next picture, her heart skipping a beat.

She hadn't registered that Carisi had had his camera out in that very moment and that he'd captured a moment whose intimacy she hadn't really been aware of when it happened. On the picture, Rafael, Noah, and her were sitting on their blanket, Rafael's knee lightly touching hers and their shoulders pressed against each other as he leaned over slightly, his left hand reaching out for Noah while his other hand was supporting himself very close to Olivia's hips. Her hands were reaching out for Noah who was crawling over their stretched-out legs, and all three of them were laughing.

Olivia took a deep breath, her hand trembling as she gently placed the photo on her desk next to her phone, noticing that Sonny had obviously made another copy of the picture.

There were other photos where Sonny had managed to catch special little moments between Rafael and her – them walking over the meadow together, his hand on the small of her back, or their hands just brushing against each other. Them hugging as they realised that they'd won a game; sharing a cookie while sipping their beloved coffee.

But none of the pictures seemed to hold so much meaning as the one where they were both completely concentrated on Noah, as if they were in a little bubble. In this moment, the words of Carisi's mother shot through her head again – that they were making a lovely little family.

Maybe she was right.

Rafael and her weren't even registering anymore how comfortable they were around each other, how natural it was for them to have these little touches, to share glances, silently communicating...

They sometimes only needed to look at each other to know what the other person was thinking, or going to say, and Liv realised that she'd never had such a connection with someone before, not even with Stabler, and they'd been really close.

And when she looked at this photo, she saw all she wanted in her life, all she needed, and it dawned on her that everybody knew it, except for them. Or maybe it was only her who'd been oblivious...

Before she really knew what she was doing, she jumped from her chair, turned her computer off and then grabbed her coat, purse and phone in one hand and the photo in the other hand.

OoO

It had to be luck that Rafael was still at his office this late; she'd walked past a lot of dark offices at One Hogan Place before spotting that he was indeed still there, his brow furrowed as he read through a file while sitting on his couch with a glass of scotch in his right hand.

"Do you ever sleep?" Olivia smirked as she closed his office door behind her and shrugged her coat off before letting herself fall next to him onto the couch, her hip involuntarily brushing his shoulder as she came a little bit closer as she intended too – not that she minded...

"Rarely," Rafael answered, closing the file with a sigh and Olivia took the glass of scotch from his hand, taking a sip. "What can I do for you?"

She smiled, allowing herself to admire how handsome he looked with his hair ruffled and his trademark tie hanging loosely around his neck, then she snapped herself out of it and leaned over to grab something from her purse.

"I thought that maybe you'd like one of those. Carisi made some pictures on the squad Saturday."

Olivia tried to calm her racing heart as she handed him the photo, a tingle rushing down her spine as Rafael smiled softly, his green eyes showing off a rare gleam of affection.

"Thank you," he said, and their gazes locked after he'd looked at the photo for quite some time. It was as if she could see the various thoughts that were obviously running through his mind, and without breaking their eye contact, she shifted a tiny bit closer.

"I... I realised something," she admitted after licking her lips nervously. "When I looked at the picture, I realised that... that I want this."

The corners of his eyes crinkled as his smile widened, something she'd only seen once before, when he'd said that it would be nice to still be squabbling with her when they were 85.
"You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to say this," he whispered, his fingers coming to caress the back of her hand, her skin feeling hot where he touched her.

"For how long?" she asked with a wink as she came even closer, their legs touching now and his breath tickling her face as he answered.

"Too long. I fell in love with you long ago. And Noah and you, you have me wrapped around your little finger."

Their fingers tangled lazily, lying on top of her leg, and Rafael raised his other hand to gently brush a brown lock of her hair behind her ear. Even though they'd both been waiting for the day they'd finally find the courage to admit their feelings for so long, neither of them felt like they were in a rush. Rafael softly cupped her face, and she felt like she was going to drown in these green eyes where she could see so much love that it made her dizzy.

After a small eternity, their lips finally touched, and her lids fluttered shut; it was a slow kiss, nearly shy, as if they needed some time to realise that this was really happening. Her heart drummed in her chest, seemingly wanting to make her ribcage explode, and a pleasant tingle ran down her spine as he finally deepened the kiss. He tasted of scotch and coffee, just like she'd expected, and she found that she loved this mixture.

Their lips parted for the faintest of seconds, allowing him to whisper words of love, then their lips crashed together again, driven by the heat that was growing between them. A soft moan escaped her as his fingers curled into the fabric of her blouse as he touched her hip, and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

They were reluctant to part, but the need for air forced them to, and instead they pressed their foreheads against each other, their gazes firmly locked as they tried to catch their breaths. Olivia smiled as she bit her lip, barely able to believe that this was truly happening, and Rafael smiled back, murmuring a "Finally" towards her.

"I love you," she whispered back, and their lips brushed over each other again. "Let's go home."

His green eyes were brighter than he'd ever seen them, joy radiating off him, and he nodded, allowing her to take his hands and pull him off the couch. Forgotten were the files, lying lonely on the coffee table as they grabbed their coats and bags and left, walking out of One Hogan Place hand in hand.

And as they entered Liv's apartment, Lucy smiling at them and Noah rejoicing as he saw Rafael, Olivia asked herself how they'd needed so long to realise that they belonged while everyone else seemed to have seen for so long.

On the other hand, that didn't matter anymore now. They were together, and that was all that was important to her now.

THE END