"You want me to what?" Sephiroth demanded.

"Bring a date to the Halloween dance. It doesn't have to be a female, but I do draw the line that it has to be human" Rufus insisted and then blanched when he remember who he was talking to. "Sorry" he said to his death glare.

Sephiroth drew up to his full height as a means of intimidation as he always did when made uncomfortable by something, "and why is this necessary?" He demanded in a cool, deadly calm voice.

"I gave you back your rank as a means to acclimate you back to society but you have made no effort to try and fit it, you alienate all who try to befriend you and refuse all those who try to be amorous with you. I don't know what your deal is or your gender preference, but you have to seem approachable in your position. You know that in the military, being a family man is good for the public image" Rufus explained.

"Then where is your significant other sir?" Sephiroth asked him pointedly.

"I shall marry when the time is right, I am young enough that I can play the field" Rufus coldly said. "At least I'm dating" he said defensively.

"I am not into dating" Sephiroth simply said.

"Look you can make it as platonic as you wish, you can bring another person just as frigi-with the same aversion to touch and communicate strictly through sign language from across the room if you wish, as long as they are there with you. So-go-find-someone" Rufus ordered him.

Sephiroth sighed, feeling troubled by this turn of events. "Where can I find a date?" He muttered to himself as every single person in the office stared longingly after him.

"It's not like I have Angeal, Genesis or even Zack to take along with me under the guise they are my date" he added as he flipped off his office lights and got into the elevator surrounded by the secretarial pool, as hot eyes strip searched every inch of him in helpless devotion.

"I guess there are people you can pay to act as an escort, but that is too demeaning" he muttered further as he walked obliviously through crowds of admiring eyes.

"Could I ask my receptionist? No I don't think her husband would like that" he murmured as he walked into Seventh Heaven as he was meeting Tseng there. The two rather isolated and intelligent men had bonded over a game of chess and had become acquaintances of a sort and would get together for drinks upon occasion. He nodded politely at bar owner, Tifa and took a seat beside Tseng while Tifa went to answer the phone.

"So do you have a date for the WRO Halloween dance?" Sephiroth asked Tseng conversationally.

"Yes I'm going with my girlfriend" he said sharing a smile with the young woman, Yuffie sitting beside him. "Wait, are you asking me on a date?" Tseng said in surprise.

Sephiroth fumed, "I'm expected by Rufus to bring a date to this dance. I don't have a single person in this whole world to ask" he groused, ignoring the entire table of women admiring him with dewy eyes.

"What a fox" one of them sighed out loud. He frowned wondering how he resembled a small, red furred creature with pointy ears and a tail, then put it down to female insanity and turned his attention back to Tseng.

"But Cloud, you promised to come with me. I haven't seen you for months" Tifa protested. "I worked for weeks on our costumes" she complained.

"I'm sorry Teef; something came up" he said looking apologetically at the young woman sitting beside him. "I'll make this up to you" he promised.

"Fine" Tifa said, slamming down the phone, feeling disappointed beyond belief because Halloween had always been their favourite holiday and both had been born in the month of October and close to that date, so they always celebrated this together.

"Was your cousin upset?" She the woman asked him.

"She'll be fine" he said, turning to her with a smile and taking her hand.

"How could he? That son of a-" Tifa cursed and then pasted on a polite smile to go take the drink orders from her friends...and Sephiroth who she had a grudging tolerance for these days after having him apologized and left the biggest tips ever on record for his drinks.

"So what will it be? Let me guess, a white wine for Tseng and two Shirley Temples" she said.

"Are you okay Tifa?" Yuffie asked her friend.

"Cloud cancelled on me for the party" Tifa admitted.

"What a jerk" Yuffie said.

"I'll have something stronger, something with alcohol" Sephiroth cut in.

"Would you look at the lush" Tifa remarked.

"I'm troubled by an order that I've been given" he explained.

"It's not so big a deal, you're a good looking guy and women aren't so hard to talk to. Just start a conversation and ask someone. Here practice on Tifa" Tseng suggested.

"Fine, Miss Lockhart, would you do me the honour of allowing me to escort you the WRO Halloween party? We don't have to do anything...physical in the least, that is certainly not expected..nor being offered" he firmly stated

"Don't flatter yourself. So what would we do during our non-physical time together?" She asked him sharply.

"I would be a perfect gentlemen, I would give you my full attention, dance with you if you want to and have you home at whatever time you deem respectable" he assured her.

"You're on" she said.

"Are you serious?" Tseng said just as Sephiroth opened his mouth to ask the same thing.

"Yes" she said, she could certainly tolerate Sephiroth whereas Cloud couldn't stand him and that made the idea of Sephiroth as her date all that more delicious. "I made a costume for Cloud" she said doubtfully looking at the tall man. "Would you like to try it on?" She asked him.

Both women cracked up as Sephiroth came out in the shirt that terminated just over top his sculpted abs, that seemed to threaten to rip off of him with just the way his muscles flexed as he moved. As for the pants, although his waist was small, Cloud's proved to be smaller at how he couldn't do the zipper up all the way and they were not only short, but skin tight.

"Oh my General, you look so..." Yuffie said and could only helplessly bury her head in Tseng's shoulder and laugh.

"Perhaps I can add more fabric and let it out a bit?" Tifa dubiously said, adding her own titters to Yuffie's.

Tseng merely stood there observing the General with a neutral look on his face "you look like an idiot, that doesn't even come close to fitting you. You look like something out of a comedy sketch. I suggest you try a rental place" he said, trying to school his features against his own laughter and then finally had to succumb to add his own guffaws.

"What am I supposed to be?" Sephiroth asked, staring down at the costume.

"The pirate king; I'm going as the pirate queen" Tifa explained. "I'll call the rental shops to see if they have any pirate outfits left" she volunteered.

"Like the Pirates of Penzance?" He asked her.

"Sure, whatever that is" Tifa said after getting his sizes in street clothes and calling around. "Good news, there is a pirate outfit left in this place that should fit you and he's going to hold it for you" she said handing him the information.

"Thank you for doing the research, I'll stop in on my way home" he promised her.

Sephiroth could only stare in the mirror "this is what a pirate normally wears?" He asked dubiously. He was used to his normal clothing which didn't really cover that much more of him, but this was a tad...revealing for his tastes.

"More like a pirate dancing at a themed bachelorette night. You know, a pirate on the stripper pole? The outfit is mainly rented out for those sort of events" he explained to him.

"I guess it will have to do, considering I have match the costume of my date" Sephiroth said feeling like an utter idiot at how he was dressed.

"You certainly have the body to carry it off. I would recommend you wear tight underwear that night, but you don't wear underwear do you?" He guessed.

"No" Sephiroth admitted.

"Good luck" he said as he rang up his rental.

Sephiroth preferred to workout after business hours in the WRO gym and dojo simply because at how enhanced he was, he could easily outpace and outlift any normal man. So he didn't want normal men getting hurt by trying to keep up with him. So he would ran through his sword katas for a few hours in place of stretching, before running the track at a punishing pace and then doing some weighttraining using the machines themselves. During this, he idly was wondering what a date consisted of.

He never been on one before, he only knew in theory what went on. He remembered his friends trying on various pants and shirt combinations for his opinion and fussing over their appearances to a degree of severity depending on their interest in the person. This behaviour had mystified Sephiroth as he thought they looked the same as usual to his eyes. They had explained to him the gist of dating to him mainly out of his idle curiosity, rather then his need to imitate their behaviour.

Each of his friends had a certain gender preferences, Genesis was fully bi-sexual, Angeal mildly so, but mainly into women and Zack a real lady's until he met a certain girl. His own, if he were to consider it, seemed to be women. He certainly hadn't been attracted to his friends or any of the other men he dealt with on a regular basis.

He finished working out and had a shower when a group of men walked in and seemed to be studying him. He just went about his business, used to be stared at. "Hey General, I understand that you're taking Tifa Lockhart to the Halloween party?" a particularly obnoxious person named Sargent Ross inquired.

"She has agreed to be my date for the evening" he conceded, as he got dressed, wondering how that was any of his business.

"I would be intimidated to date a woman with that much experience" he said.

"Intimidated, why?" Sephiroth said with a frown.

"Well naturally, she will be comparing your performance that of any lovers she has had before you" he explained.

"Performance?" Sephiroth. "I'm not going to be part of the entertainment" he said, causing the men to crack up and his ire to raise.

"Sexually" the man crudely pointed out.

"That shall not be happening" Sephiroth said with a finality in his voice.

"You will at least be expected to kiss her and well, good luck, General, I think you have bitten off more than you can chew" the man said dismissively and departed with his friends.

Sephiroth could only sit there in shock. Surely women didn't expect a man to get intimate with them on the first date? He was sure there had to be some rules when it came to dating and what was required of him at each stage.

Fully dressed, he went to the library to look up the etiquette of dating, it took some doing, but eventually he did discover the rules.

He was allowed a kiss on the first date when he took the girl home and walked her to her front door.

A kiss he thought aghast. Sure it wasn't as scary sounding as full on intercourse where he would have been expected to strip naked and do things with his own body to someone else's body, that thought repulsed him. Yes he knew the mechanics of the act, but didn't wish to try them himself. He didn't care about being naked in front of another person, it was what was expected of him during that time that made him feel uncomfortable.

How hard could a kiss be? It was just pressing his lips against those of another person's for a few seconds.

Perhaps if he researched how to kiss, he would get more comfortable with the idea? Noticing his favourite librarian was on duty, he marched up to him.

"Hi John, I need your recommendation for some research" he said to him.

"Certainly Sephiroth, what will it be this time: ancient weaponry, current events happening in Wutai, basket weaving?" John asked, knowing and admiring Sephiroth's inquisitive mind and thirst for knowledge.

"Tips on kissing and any visual materials you have on hand" Sephiroth replied.

John stared at him as if he had grown two heads "I have the instructional material in the teenaged section and some supplemental reading for grown men. Then there are romance novels. As for visuals; I have an entire section of chick flicks that should help you" he said in a surprised voice.

"Here's my library card, just give me what you have" he said.

He read over the material when he got home and got weirded out it when it talked about French kissing, but was relieved to find out it wasn't mandatory. He was sure he could manage a quick, brief kiss, just enough to show her he had had a good time with her. First he would have to get used to hugging someone and experimented on a pillow, that wasn't so scary, he decided. It would be a cinch 1. step forward 2. hug her 3. kiss her with just enough enthusiasm to show he had enjoyed her company, but not enough to show he was interested in further dates and he would be on his way.

He attempted to read the romance novels and blushed as red as a tomato when he realized how graphically they were written. Did it truly take eight pages to write out a sex scene when there was so little plot involved otherwise? Finally, he got bored and wondered what sort of perverts would read such trash.

Holding onto his pillow/date, he turned on the supplemental visual material and had his mind blown at the amount of tastefully done intercourse that they involved and how rational, intelligent men were moved to tears to be told they were told by the female romantic, lead that they were in love with them.

This was beyond kissing, it was a veritable hotbed of emotional insanity. Would Tifa really expect those smoldering glances from him? Those declarations of how happy her company made him? If he ripped open her top and exposed her mammaries, like the romantic lead did one scene, would she truly look at him like a hungry baby Chocobo and attack him with barracuda type kisses and roll around on the floor with him? He would be more likely be forced to pay for the destruction of her clothing and get charged with indecent assault at the very least.

He harkened back to the one encounter sexual he had had, okay not him really.

It had been the night of his nineteen birthday and his friends had taken him out to celebrate his being able to legally drink, not knowing how badly alcohol effected him due to the mako in his system. He had easily gotten wildly drunk and Genesis had picked up a girl and insisted he get laid before their curfew, so Sephiroth and Angeal had wound up in the girl's living room while the couple copulated in the other room.

Sephiroth was treated to the carnal sounds of copulation for first time in his life and had been horrified at how loud and animalistic they sounded, while Angeal tried to distract the drunken slightly younger man from them.

Sephiroth at the time had been introduced to the idea that people dated through his friends and was still young and naive enough to assume he would emulate that behaviour given time and exposure to what normality supposedly was. However that had never happened, Jenova had gotten in the way of that notion.

Instead he sat on the couch while his friend panted and groaned in time with the female he barely knew, while Angeal had tried to keep his inexperienced friend distracted by asking him questions.

Angeal, was a gentle giant of a man who had taken the Sephiroth under his wing when he had awkwardly sat on the sidelines, not knowing a soul after emerging from his hidden life or know how to interact socially with anyone. Angeal who had introduced him to his own friend, Genesis and the two strove to acclimatize him to his new way of life. Angeal who was perhaps the kindest, most noble person he had ever met.

"What do you want most in the world?" Angeal interrupted the caterwauling that was going on in the next room.

Now, Hojo had ingrained into him, should he be asked a question similar to this, to say "to be the best SOLDIER in the world." However, in his befuddled state, Sephiroth revealed his most closely guarded secret "love" he said and blushed that in his vulnerable state, he had admitted that out loud. Angeal was no more of a touchy feely person than Sephiroth himself, but had given him a quick hug and a look of pure compassion.

Sephiroth groaned out loud from the memory and then went back to watching the blush and vomit inducing movies, wondering why intelligent females would watch such pure drivel and also was it true in real life ,that background music swelled when females orgasmed? That surely must be very distracting. At least, he assumed was going on by their strained looking faces.