Chapter 1

Summary: Haruhi Fujioka needed 8 million yen. Ootori Kyoya needed a fluffer. It was unavoidable that they would strike a deal with one another. Slightly AU, although it doesn't deviate far from the actual storyline. More of a 'what if Ouran girls were a little more aggressive' sort of story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club

Six young men stood around a plush Victorian couch as they held an emergency pre-Host Club meeting.

"Damn it, Tamaki, I can't do it anymore!" The young man with glasses hissed.

"What do you mean, you can't do it?" A blond prince-like character snapped testily. "Just go do whatever you need to do before the Host Club opens!"

"I've been doing that for 2 years, Tamaki, and honestly I'm getting really sick of it."

"Tama-chan, Kyo-chan, what's the problem?" A small loli-shota boy interrupted their conversation. "Why are you guys fighting?"

A pair of doppelgangers answered his question instead. "You see, Honey-sempai—" dawdled Twin One.

"—Kyoya-senpai—" Twin Two continued.

"Can't keep IT up anymore." They finished in unison.

"Footsteps." A tall, silent man warned them under his breath.

"Oh for goodness sake." The prince character sighed in irritation. "Fine, Kyoya, you can stay out of today's activities. But I expect a proper meeting with all of you after this!"

No sooner than he finished speaking, the door swung open – only to reveal a dishevelled, poorly dressed high school boy.

"Tsk, it's just a boy." The twins shrugged noncommittally.

The glasses character, also known as Ootori Kyoya, however, was not fooled. He smiled to himself internally, deciding to keep his knowledge hidden for now and to watch the next course of events. "Isn't this person from your class, Hikaru and Kaoru?" He asked casually.

"Yeah." Hikaru answered. "But he's not sociable."

"So we don't know him." Kaoru concluded.

"Boys, be professional." Kyoya said. "Welcome to Ouran High School Host Club, honours student."

"Honours student?!" The previously moody Host Club's self-proclaimed King immediately sprang into action. "Are you the fabled commoner hero? You are so brave for coming to Ouran! I mean, no matter how good your grades are, you will still be the poorest student in the school! Such audaciousness, such determination, such perseverance!"

"Uh… You don't have go to that far…"

"Don't worry, my dear commoner, we don't discriminate. In fact, long live the poor! So, how has our elite school been treating you so far? Not so good? Worry not, for you have found the best place to be in the entire school! Now, who's your type? We have the little devil types, Hitachiin Hikaru and Kaoru, the cute type, Haninozuka Mitsukuni, the wild type, Morinozuka Takashi; and lastly there's me, the romantic type, Suoh Tamaki at your service."

"Uh, actually, I was just looking for a place to study…" The messy young man was backtracking his steps, as if trying to create a bigger distance from the group of handsome young men standing before him.

"Don't be shy, honours student Fujioka Haruhi!" The blond persuaded.

Upon hearing this, the newcomer stumbled visibly. "How do you know my name?"

But before anyone could answer, a slight wobble behind the newcomer drew everyone's attention. And as all of them were watching with bated breath, the 8 million yen antique vase slipped from its marble home and – as if in slow motion – fell onto the floor and smashed into 8 million pieces instead.

"Oh, would you look at that." The blond prince, Suoh Tamaki, deadpanned. It seemed like Tamaki's character changed completely. "That was a very expensive vase."

"I'll compensate for the damage!" The messy young man, also known as Fujioka Haruhi, answered immediately, pulling his wallet out.

"Can you afford it?" Hikaru scoffed.

"It's worth 8 million yen." His twin, Kaoru, informed their classmate.

"8 MILLION YEN?!"

Kyoya hid a sly smile. "What do we do, Tamaki?"

Tamaki sat back down on the couch. "Haruhi, have you heard of the saying, when in Rome, do as the Romans do; if you can't pay with money, pay with your body? From today onwards, you'll be the Host Club's dog!"

"That wasn't so bad." Haruhi stretched her tired limbs after the Host Club ended for the day. He – or she, really, since she was a girl – thought that the errands were quite easy. She was used to running around to buy groceries and doing chores, after all. It was dealing with the hosts themselves that was emotionally taxing. Almost all of them had no concept of privacy or personal space, except for Mori-senpai and Kyoya-senpai.

She stood up and took a deep breath. "Alright, you can do this, Haruhi, you just need to bear with those weirdos until you pay your debt." She tied a bandana around her head and began to clean up the room.

(In a meeting room somewhere)

"Kyoya, I really don't care what underhanded methods you use anymore, please just try your best." Tamaki's voice was defeated.

"Yeah." Honey echoed the sentiment. "I feel so dirty and used today with all those extra hands pawing at me."

Mori scooted closer to his cousin and patted him on the back comfortingly.

"Is what we're hearing correct?" Hikaru poked his head next to Tamaki's left shoulder.

"Is the Almighty Tono getting scared?" Kaoru teased mischievously from behind the other shoulder.

"Hikaru, Kaoru, what do you guys think?" Kyoya shifted his gaze to the twins.

Hikaru shrugged. "We don't mind. We've had worse." He said shortly.

"We've been fashion models since we were a baby." Kaoru explained, being the more matured twin of the two. "We've been prodded and fondled excessively ever since we can remember."

Kyoya grimaced. That didn't sound like something that anyone should be used to. You see, the six young men ran a 'Host Club'. The original idea was simple and straightforward – to have bored, rich, young men cater to the interests of bored, rich, young ladies. However, what the hosts did not expect, was how greedy their clients would be.

Ever since their opening, both Tamaki and Kyoya, as president and vice-president, had been plagued by requests for 'private sessions'. And when they refused, stating that the relationship in the club was to be purely platonic, the girls had not hesitated to assault them during club hours, in front of everyone else. The hosts were often propositioned for sex, fondled in their privates, unwillingly parted from their clothes, and sometimes even tackled onto the floor and grinded against.

Finally, sick of the unannounced ambushes, Tamaki and Kyoya had summoned a representative from the clients – a girl by the name of Renge – and conducted a formal business negotiation. The final terms of the deal was that, for every 10 hours the clients designated a host (with proper, ladylike conduct and no unnecessary physical contact), they would be entitled to a 5 minutes 'private session' with a host of their choosing. As to the contents of the 'private session', there was a 'no strip' rule that was enforced strictly on behalf of the hosts. That is to say, the hosts were required to be fully dressed at all times. This rule was the main point of contention between Renge and Kyoya throughout their negotiation, but alas the female representative conceded. The girls, while allowed to touch the hosts, were forbidden from engaging in any sexual acts, which included French kissing, handjobs, blowjobs, and all forms of penetrative sex. In short, only light kissing and petting was allowed.

Again, however, the hosts had underestimated the number of female sexual deviants in their school. Within minutes of the announcement, the waiting list for the Host Club was miles and miles long. Worse still, when it came to the 'private sessions', it appeared that the girls had totally no qualms about sharing their 'conquests' with one another. They compared penis sizes, ass shapes and shaving styles aloud in the school cafeteria, even going as far as to comment on the hardness of each hosts' erections.

Perhaps the last point above – namely the hardness of one's erection – requires a back story of its own. Apparently, the females of Ouran High School had very high expectations with regard to the hosts' bodily reaction to them. This became apparent when Tamaki – who was the first one to conduct a 'private session' – was kindly asked if he was not interested in the female species. Thankfully, Tamaki chose that day to bring all his wits with him, and immediately understood the displeasure his flaccid 'friend' had caused to the client. Fortunately as well, his 'inner mind theatre' skills helped him gain the requisite motivation to gain an impressive erection, and allowed his client to leave happily (after several not-so-subtle attempts to measure his length).

Having received the tip-off from Tamaki, all of the hosts immediately took action to find their own 'motivation'. Hikaru and Kaoru took the easy way out and experimented with each other, whereas Honey and Mori used their detailed knowledge of the inner circulation of the human body from martial arts to control their bodily reactions. That left Kyoya to struggle with the problem on his own. It wasn't that he could not get an erection – he was a 16 year old boy after all – but like normal people, he couldn't get aroused unless there was adequate stimulation. And his clients definitely did not enjoy being labelled as inadequate stimulations. After a few private sessions with the cool host, word was getting around the school that the third Ootori boy was 'sexually lacking', 'might be gay' and 'probably have a micropenis'.

Upon hearing that, Kyoya, of course, snapped into action. He immediately located the source of the rumour and quashed it (by threatening to leak pictures of her other, very sexual, conquests to her father). Nevertheless, he knew that his reputation had been shaken, and a new rumour would be needed to overshadow the damage. Right before his next 'private session', he mustered the courage to ask his family doctor for a Viagra prescription. By the following day, Ootori Kyoya's manliness was never called into question ever again.

Now, two years down the road, however, Kyoya had been advised by his doctor to stop the consumption of performance enhancing pills so as to not harm his body. The doctor informed him that if he kept it up any longer, he might suffer from erectile dysfunction and even infertility in the future. For the past week, he tried different methods such as porn and masturbation, but found all of those too emotionally draining to continue for another two years of high school. It seemed like the constant demands of his clients have managed to turn him off any sexual tendencies whatsoever. He barely jerked off in the shower anymore, having no problem willing his erection away even when on medication. And so he had approached Tamaki earlier today to inform him that he was quitting the Host Club. Or at least, as he tried to explain, the hosting part of the Host Club. Being a business whiz, Kyoya offered to stay on as their manager, helping the club sort out their finances as well as plan their events; but Tamaki would have none of that. Without Kyoya there, the workload for everyone was just too much, and so all of them – sans the twins – were trying to persuade him to continue.

"Kyo-chan, please don't quit!" Honey was sniffing in misery now. Kyoya looked at him sympathetically. To be honest, it was Honey who had the hardest time among all of them. He had the mind of a 6-year-old and had almost no interest in girls except to play house with, but yet he was forced to exude some form of sexual masculinity just to appease the female population. The only saving grace was that he could control his body to gain an erection without being aroused, but still, Honey often cried into Mori's arms after his 'private sessions' because it was wrong to let someone touch his pee-pee.

Kyoya heaved a sigh. "Fine. I'll stay. Tamaki, can I take the rest of the week off, at least? I'll need to talk to my doctor again, and perhaps find some alternative solutions."

Tamaki nodded. "That's all right. I understand. Just, come back soon, mon ami. We need you."

Haruhi was just putting away the cleaning supplies when the door behind her opened.

"Oh, you're still here." It turned out to be Kyoya, coming back to pick up his laptop. "Are you done cleaning?"

"Yes." Haruhi nodded. "Umm, Kyoya-senpai?"

"Hm?"

"Can I know… Uh, that is… How long do I have to work to pay off my debt?"

Kyoya looked up. "We'll pay you 10,000 yen per day for running errands and cleaning. You will get 30,000 yen per day if we have events outside normal club hours, such as at night or on weekends."

"10,000 yen per day…" Wow, that's a lot for just doing meagre chores, Haruhi thought. But she did the math inside her head and realised aloud, "I'll have to work for 800 days to pay back the full amount!"

Kyoya nodded. "As Tamaki said, it is an expensive vase. And since we only have school about 200 days per year, so you will have to work for… 4 years."

"4 YEARS!" Haruhi gasped. Dear Mother-In-Heaven, what have I gotten myself into?

"And before you think of running," Kyoya smirked. "My family has a private police force that can track you down, wherever you are."

Haruhi's shoulders sagged. "I wasn't thinking of running, but thanks for the threat, Kyoya-senpai. You have succeeded in making me feel shock, disbelief, anger, intimidation and hopelessness all at once.

Kyoya's lips twitched slightly at her answer. "Just out of curiousity, Haruhi, why are you pretending to be a boy?"

Haruhi raised her head to look straight at him. "I'm not." She said innocently. "No one asked. I just didn't see a particular need to correct Tamaki-senpai's assumption. After all, I wouldn't want him to change my punishment just because I'm a girl."

"I see." Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "So you're fine with being treated as a boy for the next 4 years?"

Haruhi nodded seriously. "Not a problem. I don't see why gender matters at all, to be honest."

Kyoya rolled his eyes internally. This girl is in for a rude awakening. He thought. Without any warning, he pinned Haruhi to the wall, grabbed her wrist and shoved his thigh between her legs. "Do you still think that gender doesn't matter?"

"It doesn't." Haruhi replied calmly. "What you are demonstrating is that strength matters, which I concede I don't have. But with adequate strength, even a girl can rape a boy." With that, she kicked him in the shin and shoved him onto the ground, face first. She then straddled him by sitting on his neck so that he couldn't get up. "Thanks a lot though, Kyoya-senpai, I really do appreciate your concern." She stood up and offered him a hand.

Kyoya, to his surprise, found himself drawn to the opposite sex for the first time in two years. His manhood twitched slightly, as if eager to explore more of this intriguing girl. Kyoya decided to entertain its interest. "You have a point there. I'm sorry for assaulting you, Haruhi. Can I buy you dinner as a sign of apology?"

"Don't worry, Kyoya-senpai. I knew you were not going to do it in the first place. After all," she grinned. "You have no merit to gain from it."

"No." Kyoya insisted. "Please allow me regardless. It is the gentlemanly thing to do."

Haruhi smiled. "Fine, but I get to choose the restaurant."

The restaurant Haruhi chose turned out to be a middle-class, nice-ish, Japanese restaurant.

"Why this place?" Kyoya asked as they were shown to their seats.

"It's expensive enough for an apology, but not too stifling for a poor kid like me." She laughed. "But the honest answer is that it's run by my dad's friend, of course."

Kyoya couldn't help but crack a smile. Her laughter was infectious. It was genuine and sincere, with no hidden intentions or masked emotions.

"You're smiling!" Haruhi exclaimed. "You're smiling, aren't you, Kyoya-senpai?"

Kyoya schooled his features to a mask of indifference. "No I'm not."

"Oh, you totally were." Haruhi laughed again. "You can't hide it from me."

Soon, dinner was over and Kyoya made sure he sent Haruhi home despite her protests. When they reached her apartment, Kyoya cleared his throat. "I don't want to impose, Haruhi, but is it possible to use your bathroom?"

"Of course, senpai." She unlocked the door and gestured him to step in. It was partially dark inside the apartment since nobody was home, but Haruhi expertly navigated her way to locate the light switch.

Kyoya, however, not having been to a commoner's house before, did not expect there to be a small step between the doorway and the rest of the house. "Ojamashima—ARGHHH!" He tripped on the step and fell forwards, only to be cushioned by something soft underneath.

"Oww." A small voice issued from underneath Kyoya.

Kyoya winced and slowly moved his foot, not willing to bump it against anything else. "Haruhi, can you turn on the lights please?"

"I would, if you would get off me." A muffled voice replied.

"Ah!" Kyoya jumped at the revelation. "Sorry." He gingerly shifted himself, making sure he kept his suddenly very interested manhood away from brushing against any part of her body. Wow, I've almost forgotten what it feels like to gain an untimely erection. He stood up and offered his hand to her. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, am fine." She muttered, rubbing a slight bruise on her knee. She wobbled over to the switch and turned on the light.

"I'm sorry." Kyoya said again. "Let me look at your knee."

"It's fine, I just bumped it when you knocked me over."

"Allow me the peace of mind at least." He argued.

"Fine." Haruhi uncovered her knee and stretched it out towards him.

Kyoya took out his handkerchief and wiped the bruise gently. "It's quite a nasty bruise, I'll get my driver to deliver you some ointment later." He tied the handkerchief around her knee to cover the bruise. He had a sudden urge to 'kiss it better' but he quickly brushed it aside.

"No thanks." Haruhi said flatly. "I really don't need you to add any more expenses to my debt."

Suddenly, Kyoya was struck with a wonderful idea. Except, he was not sure if Haruhi would agree to it.

"Hey Haruhi?" He started hesitantly.

"Yeah?"

"Have you heard about the Host Club's 'private sessions'?"

Haruhi blushed slightly. "I might have overheard a thing or two from the school cafeteria. But of course," she quickly added, "I don't believe everything I hear."

"Hmm. What if I told you it is all true?"

"Do you really allow your clients to molest you?" Haruhi asked.

Kyoya winced. Straighforward as ever, Haruhi, he thought. But she was right on point. It was not just touching. It never was just touching. To him, every session was a molestation. "I don't have a choice." Was what he ended up saying.

"I see." Haruhi said.

"Is that all you have to say?" Kyoya asked.

"Well, it's your choice, Kyoya-senpai. I don't have any right to judge you without knowing your true intentions or motivations."

Kyoya smiled, without hiding it this time. "It's very complicated. On one hand, all our male egos are at stake here. Perhaps not to a girl like you, but most girls would not want to marry a man who appears to be lacking in the public eye, so that affects our marriage prospects and consequently – or rather, more importantly – business prospects. And of course, in my case, it's also a form of rebellion, to make a stand against my father. At the same time, we're all earning a lot of money and popularity, which is basically the main aim at Ouran. To most of us, top grades do not matter if you do not excel at making business connections and succeed in proper financial management."

Haruhi set down two teacups. "In that case, as long as you're fine with what you're doing, I don't see a problem with it."

Kyoya sighed as he held onto a chipped teacup, revelling in the warmth from it. Somehow, Haruhi's broken teacup seemed to radiate warmth in a way that even the most expensive tea sets at the Ootori household fail to do. "I do have a problem with it, in a way. Which comes to my proposition."

"Proposition?"

"I have a proposition for you, Haruhi. If you accept it, I'll pay you 100,000 yen per day."

"100,000 yen a day?" Haruhi's ears cocked up. "That means in 80 days, or approximately 4 months of school…"

"Yes, you'll be debt-free." Kyoya confirmed.

Haruhi clasped her hand in excitement. "Let's hear it, then."

Kyoya leaned back into his chair. "Haruhi, do you know what a fluffer is?"

A/N: Fluffer – a behind-the-scenes person hired to keep a male pornstar aroused while on the set and in between scenes. They are supposed to get the male pornstars 'hard' as part of the preparation, and is considered part of the make-up department.