Author's Note: I started my first Descendants oneshot, but it turned out to be a little longer than a oneshot. Then, right in the middle of writing that, this idea popped into my head, so I decided to work on this before posting my other short story.
Monday morning found the Isle of the Lost kids sitting in the back room of the library for Remedial Goodness class. Carlos had his white haired head resting on the desk he shared with Jay. He was trying to get in as much sleep as possible. He was always tired on Mondays.
His table partner had his forehead resting on the back of his chair as he always chose to sit in it backwards. Jay had his signature maroon beanie pulled down, passed his forehead and over his eyes to block out light. He just didn't like mornings.
Across the the aisle on another table were Mal and Evie. Mal was slouched back in her chair using the backrest to rest her purple top head on. Her right hand still had her pencil in her hand positioned to draw in her sketchbook. Monday mornings were one of the few things that prevented her from her favorite pastime.
Next to her Evie sat up straight, her blue hair flowing down like a perfect waterfall. She never slouched in her seat or hunched over her desk, no matter how tired she was. No, she had an appearance to uphold. Slouching was the gateway to sweats and a naked face. No, that could not happen. She probably hated Mondays the most.
"Good morning!" Came Fairy Godmother's cheery voice.
Carlos's head popped up as Mal let out a snort, both awoke with a surprise due to the high pitch of her voice. Carlos looked over at Jay, still sleeping. Giving him a good nudge, Jay moved his beanie out of his face to give Carlos a glare. Jay followed Carlos's pointing finger to the front of the class.
"Morning," they all groaned in unison.
"So this week," Fairy Godmother said, starting the class with her usual upbeat perkiness. She walked through the aisle to the front of the classroom. "We will be taking a little break from Remedial Goodness."
The four villain kids were definitely awake now.
"Instead," she continued, "we'll be talking about the reproductive system, otherwise known as, the birds and the bees," she said emphasizing key words.
Her students looked at each other in confusion. None of them knew what the Fairy Godmother was talking about.
"All of your friends here at Auradon Prep already went through this lesson when they were twelve, but after correspondence with Yen Sid, I was informed that the Isle of the Lost doesn't have this lesson at all," Fairy Godmother explained. "And we can't have that can we?" She let out a laugh. "No, we can't. It's very important information for young adolescents like yourselves."
"I'm sure you've all already experienced the effects of puberty," she continued on with her lesson. "Boys, I'm sure you've experienced what they call a 'wet dream,' and 'morning wood,'" she said using air quotes. "And I'm sure you girls already go through your monthly visitor. Yes, yes I'm sure you have," she pouted sympathetically at the two young girls.
Both girls side-eyed each other, having never talked about it with each other. Mal slowly slid down in her seat and Evie simply looked away. It didn't matter how much she wanted to crawl into a hole, she will still keep her posture as upright as the next royal.
Jay raised his, fingerless gloved hand.
"Yes, Jay," she called on him.
"I'm sure Carlos still wets the bed," he started. "But I haven't wet the bed since I was five, maybe younger."
Carlos threw him a glare as he smirked back.
"Oh," Fairy Godmother said slightly surprised. "Oh, no no no. That's… let's just get started shall we?"
Flipping her chalkboard over, the students were greeted with the title, "The Reproductive System," in big bold letters, with two pictures under it. The picture on the left was of two ball like things connected to a triangular type thing between them. The second looked like…
"Uhh…" Carlos let out involuntarily. He looked over to Jay, who looked at him with the same horrified expression he thought he had on his own face. Chancing a look at the girls, they both continued to look at the chalkboard with curious expressions. They clearly didn't know what that was.
"So let's start with this one, shall we?" Fairy Godmother suggested. "This is the woman's reproductive system. These two circular organs here," she used a long pointer to indicate the two circles on either side of the triangle, "these are called ovaries, they hold eggs."
Evie's hand shot up. After being called on my Fairy Godmother she asked, "We make eggs? Like chickens?"
"Similar, but not quite," Fairy Godmother answered. "They're teeny tiny eggs, no shell. Once a month, one egg comes from one ovary and they travel down the fallopian tubes. That's fun to say isn't it," she said trying to keep the lesson interesting. "Once they're through the fallopian tubes, they enter the uterus. Any questions so far?" Fairy Godmother asked.
The four teens shook their heads, "No."
"Okay then," she said with a big smile. "Once here, if there's no semen from a male reproductive system to fertilize the egg, it will simply… exit," she said cheerily flicking her pointer downward to emphasize the direction of the exiting egg. "That is when a woman will receive her 'monthly visitor.'"
"That's what that is?" The girls exclaimed together.
Fairy Godmother nodded sympathetically to the girls as the boys looked on, wondering what exactly their monthly visitor was.
Carlos had so many questions as he raised his hand. Once Fairy Godmother called on him the only question that came out was, "Where does it exit?"
"It exits through what is called a vagina," Fairy Godmother answered, still emphasizing the new terms for her students. "It is a sacred, most private part of a female body. Similar to where urine exits... But not quite.
Evie blushed with embarrassment as Mal simply covered her face, sinking deeper into her seat. Both Carlos and Jay sat shocked in their seat.
"Okay, let's continue!" Fairy Godmother said ignoring their expressions. "If the egg is fertilized by sperm the fertilized egg will attach itself to the walls of the uterus and through the next nine months will slowly grow to become a baby. By the end of the nine months it will be born into the world," she concluded once again swiping her pointer downward again, but in a more gentle motion. "The miracle of childbirth. Isn't it wonderful?"
All four students sat there horrified at the new information they just received.
Carlos slowly raised his hand and asked, "Ummm… the same place it exits when it's not fertilized?"
"Yes!" Fairy Godmother said excitedly. "But we'll get to that later."
"Ow," Mal mouthed to Evie as the two girls looked at each other with similar pained expressions.
"Now," Fairy Godmother continued. "The sperm comes from the male reproductive system," she said moving to the next diagram. "Looks familiar doesn't it boys?"
Carlos sank into his seat a little, feeling a tinge of pink form on his cheeks while Jay crossed his arms, mumbling something under his breath.
Not waiting for any response Fairy Godmother continued, "Unlike women, who have their organs inside, men have them on the outside."
The girls looked over at the boys, slightly looking over Carlos as he was blocking a view of Jay. He continued to sink deeper into his seat just feeling their eyes on him. Slightly relieved that he wasn't the object of the girl's inspection, Jay simply scratched his beanie covered head and avoided their eye contact.
Looking back at the chalkboard Mal decided the male reproductive system kind of looked like an elephant with droopy ears and a short fat trunk.
"These here," Fairy Godmother said pointing to the "ears," "are testicles. This is where the sperm starts. They travel up the ductus deferens, through the prostate, down the urethra, which continues throughout the penis, and simply… exits!" Another quick flick of her pointer.
With realization Carlos subconsciously said silently, "So that's what the white stuff is."
"Yes, Carlos!" Fairy Godmother exclaimed.
Apparently it wasn't silent enough. Carlos placed his head on the table to hide the full blush that was now set on his cheeks.
Jay chuckled at Carlos's expense. He too had experienced the "white stuff," but at least he didn't admit it out loud for everyone to hear.
"Actually, that creamy liquid you're referring to is a combination of sperm and fluids from the prostate," she clarified. "Combined it's called semen."
"Both testicles and penis are in the same region as a woman's vagina," Fairy Godmother continued. "This is the male's most private area."
Without the embarrassment that came from talking about the female body, Evie raised her hand.
"Yes, Evie," Fairy Godmother called.
"So… how does the sperm get from the man to the woman?" She asked.
"I'm glad you asked! You and Carlos are ever so inquisitive!" Fairy Godmother said excitedly. "It's transferred through intercourse, also known as sex or making love. Now kids, when a man and woman really love each other, and would like to have a baby, they have intercourse. A man's penis," she said pointing to it on the chalkboard, "becomes erect and he inserts it into a woman's vagina. After some... Uh... Maneuvering," she let out a light giggle, "will release the semen into the woman."
All four Isle kids were mortified. Why did they need to learn this?
"Any more questions?" Fairy Godmother asked.
After receiving vigorous head shakes from her students, Fairy Godmother announced, "Okay, time for a video!"
They let out sighs of relief. The awkwardness of hearing about their bodies was over.
"Now, I covered the actions of becoming pregnant with a baby," Fairy Godmother said. "This video will show you how the baby is formed after intercourse."
"Like a real baby?" Evie asked as Fairy Godmother set up the television. "They can do that?"
"Oh yes dear. Science and technology are very advanced," Fairy Godmother answered.
As the documentary started the four kids were wary, yet curious about what they were about to see. At least they weren't listening to Fairy Godmother talk about it.
As they watched sperm move across the screen Carlos asked, "I thought you said it was liquid. Those are like… tadpoles."
"Yes, those 'tadpoles' as you call them, are actually teeny tiny and it's been blown up about a billion times so you could see them clearly."
Carlos and Evie shook their heads with endearment for their dear Headmistress, at the lack of technical terms she used.
"Her poor figure will never be the same," Evie stated, watching as a pregnant woman waddled around to lay down on a hospital bed.
Fairy Godmother paused the movie to say, "Now this is very important. I want you all to watch what happens next. I need you all to understand that this is very natural. You all were probably brought into the world this way and will probably experience it one day, whether it is your own or your significant other's pregnancy. If you don't watch I will play it again until you do." Fairy Godmother set her lip in a pout. She really didn't like being strict. "So please, keep your eyes open and on the screen."
The four students looked at each other all equally puzzled as Fairy Godmother unpaused the movie.
"With the woman's cervix dilated at a full ten centimeters," the documentary narrator explained, "the mother-to-be is ready to give birth to her new baby."
"Ten centimeters," Evie mouthed to herself sharing the same horrified expression as her friends.
The video zoomed in to the subject of the documentary. She was currently laying back in a small hospital bed with knees up high for the viewers to see a baby slowly emerge.
The four Isle kids sat in horror. They wanted to look away, but knew it wasn't worth having to watch it again. At the same time it was like a deer in headlights. They were too shocked to look away.
Carlos covered his ears as the screaming of the woman in labor was too much for him. Watching wasn't as bad without all the screaming anyway. Still horrible, but not as bad.
"Very good Carlos," Fairy Godmother encouraged. "If you can't handle the screaming, at least you're still watching."
Not soon enough the video came to an end with the new parents holding their brand new baby girl. The Remedial Goodness students heaved a sigh of relief that it was finally over.
"That, children, was the miracle of childbirth," Fairy Godmother concluded. "Now, for homework I want you all to think of any questions you might have about what we learned today. I know this can be a very sensitive subject, so write them down and I'll answer them anonymously. Okay? Have a good day children."
The four students solemnly walked out the the classroom. Questions were already racing through Evie's head.
"Hey guys," a male voice greeted. It was King Ben, Mal's boyfriend, in all his royal blue glory. "How was Remedial Goodness?"
"Ugh!" Mal groaned in mortification and proceeded to walk at a faster pace to her next class, with Evie hot on her heels. Mal did not want to talk about class, let alone with Ben.
"What did I say?" Ben asked.
"It was a tough class," Carlos answered, with Jay nodding in agreement.
"Did you guys really go over the reproductive system when you were twelve?" Jay asked.
Ben laughed remembering the weeks of awkwardness after going through Sex Ed.
"Oh I see," he said with a chuckle. "Looks like we'll need to have a little meeting after dinner guys. My room."
Carlos and Jay agreed, curious as to what Ben had up his sleeve, and with that the boys split up heading to their respective classes.
The early evening found just the girls sitting around their normal dining room table eating dinner.
"I wonder where they boys are," Audrey mused out loud.
It was unusual for the boys to miss a meal.
"I saw Aziz and Chad running to the boys dorms with a lot of food," Jane stated. "Maybe they're having a boys night."
The girls shrugged and continued on with their dinner.
"Hey Lonnie?" Evie said to get the girls attention.
"Hmm?" Lonnie hummed chewing on her food.
"Did you guys really learn about the reproductive system when you were twelve?" She asked.
"Oh yeah," Lonnie laughed at the thought. "None of the girls talked to guys and vice versa for weeks. Why do you ask? When did you guys learn about it on the Isle?"
Evie and Mal shifted slightly. "Umm… we didn't."
"Fairy Godmother gave us a crash course this morning," Mal grumbled.
Lonnie had a shocked expression along with Jane, Audrey, & Jordan.
"Girls," Audrey said abruptly. "We need an emergency lady meeting, stat."
While the girls gathered up their things and rushed to the girls dormitory, the guys were already finishing up their food in Ben's room.
"Alright guys," Ben stated getting everyone's attention. "I call this emergency meeting to order. Today's business, the basics. Our fellow men from the Isle of the Lost have just had their first Sex Ed class with Fairy Godmother."
"Oh the horror," Doug said comically, yet completely serious. "I can still see the baby come out of that woman."
Chad rocked back and forth slightly saying, "So much screaming."
"Yes," Ben said with a laugh. "We all agree that it takes a lot out of us going through that class. Now," he said speaking directly to Carlos and Jay, "what you guys need to know is Fairy Godmother isn't going to tell you everything."
"Honestly, we kind of thought you guys already knew this stuff since Jay's so fond of the lady's," Doug admitted as the rest of the Auradon boys chuckled.
Jay and Carlos sat confused.
"What does that have to do with sex?" Carlos asked.
"Getting a girlfriend is the beginning steps that eventually leads to sex," Aziz explained.
"Well we didn't learn about it," Jay stated. "Fairy Godmother said it's for when people love each other. You really think they taught us about love on the Isle?"
The Auradon boys nodded in submission. This was one of those things that they didn't realize were so normal to them, but completely abnormal for those on the Isle.
"So," Chad started. "Have you ever kissed a girl?"
"No," Jay answered with a scoff, as Carlos shook his head. "Only the really prissy, vain girls on the Isle care about kissing. You let them chase you and tease them a bit, but you don't actually do it. It's weak."
"Well that explains why Ben hasn't got any action from Mal," Chad joked.
Aziz and Doug snickered under their breath as Ben just rolled his eyes.
"I should have guessed you guys were into that kind of thing," Jay chuckled.
He'd chosen good, but there were some villainous ways that were still a part of him. Little things like this that didn't make him truly evil.
"Dude," Doug said causing the small dog resting in Carlos's lap to bark. "Sorry, not you Dude. But man, I'm dying for Evie to give me even just a peck on the cheek."
"You guys don't know what you're missing out on," Aziz chimed in.
"So you mean to say… this is a good thing?" Carlos asked, still trying to get his head wrapped around it.
The Auradon natives looked at each other before chiming in at the same time, "Yeah!"
"But it all seems so… weird," Carlos stated.
Chad moved in closer toward Jay and Carlos as if he were telling them a big secret. "From what I've heard, sex feels so much better with a girl, than doing it with your hand."
Their classmates nodded in agreement.
"Alright, alright," Ben said his leader instincts kicking in, feeling the conversation going too fast for his Isle friends. "Back to the matter at hand. Fairy Godmother gave you the basics of it all. Erected penis goes into vagina. Sperm comes out and all that stuff."
Jay and Carlos nodded an answer.
"She'll definitely tell you all the horrors," Aziz said. "Which is good to know."
"But it's not all bad," Doug insisted.
"So what's so great about it?" Carlos asked. "It… feels good?"
Leave it to Carlos to be inquisitive and wanting to gain more knowledge. All Jay had to do was listen.
"Have you guys ever been hard?" Chad asked bluntly, receiving exasperated looks from his friends.
"Don't make it sound so crude Chad," Ben scolded.
"What he means is, have you ever woken up in the morning and your penis was…" Doug trailed off trying to think of a different word. Something not too technical, but not so… Chad.
"Standing at attention?" Chad offered.
Jay and Carlos looked at each other with realization. "Morning wood," they said together.
"Did Fairy Godmother say that in class?" Chad asked astounded.
"I can't believe it," Aziz said in a fit of laughter with the rest of the Auradon boys.
Ben managed to gain his composure first. "Yeah, anyway, it happens in the morning sometimes."
"A lot of the time," Aziz corrected.
"Every time," Chad stated.
"It can happen anytime, actually," Doug clarified, his studious side coming out. "It just happens when you're aroused. Like-"
"Like that time in ninth grade when I looked up Audrey's cheerleading skirt for the first time," Aziz chimed in.
"Anyway," Ben said getting the conversation away from his ex-girlfriend. "Have you had 'morning wood?'"
Jay and Carlos nodded reluctantly in return.
"Have you jerked off when you did?" Chad asked ignoring the glare from Ben.
Aziz sighed. "Always a gentleman, Chad. Always a gentleman."
"Jerked off?" Carlos questioned. "Like.. touch it?"
The Auradon boys nodded.
Jay looked at Carlos with a raised brow and a smirk. He already knew Carlos's answer, but nodded along with the shorter boy.
"Did you cum after?" Chad asked.
"He means did you ejaculate," Ben reiterated. "Did semen come out?"
Jay and Carlos nodded again.
"And?" Aziz asked with a smile. "How good did it feel while you were doing it?"
"Really good," Carlos said involuntarily.
Chad scoffed. "Of course it felt good. If it didn't, you wouldn't have cum."
Carlos looked to the other boys for confirmation.
"True," Aziz replied. "And that's what Fairy Godmother isn't gonna tell you."
"The adults think if we find out that it feels good, then we're all just gonna do it and not think of the consequences," Doug explained. "But we do."
"Unfortunately, there are some people that don't," Ben said. "But the whole point of this club is to be sure that we all know the right information and to do what is right."
"So if you guys need any advice or have any questions we'll do our best to help. Just don't ask Chad," Aziz insisted earning himself a glare from the offended boy.
"That's not to say we're all experts," Doug clarified. "None of us have actually had sex, but at this point we do know more than you do so... we're here if you need us.
"Thanks guys," Carlos said.
"Yeah thanks," Jay said awkwardly, as being polite was still new to him.
Meanwhile in the girls dorm, they were settling down into Mal and Evie's room. Jane had suggested that they use their room so they would feel as comfortable as possible.
"Okay girls," Lonnie said. "Dish it. What exactly did Fairy Godmother tell you guys?"
"Probably the same thing we learned in the 7th grade," Audrey answered for the girls.
"We learned that our 'monthly visitor,'" Mal said using air quotes, "comes from an egg!"
"If you guys ever need tampons let me know," Audrey offered, ignoring Mal's disbelief.
"I'm more of a pad girl," Jane said. "I'm afraid the tampons will hurt."
"We could totally teach you guys how to put one in if you'd like," Jordan offered, not only to her Isle friends, but to Jane as well.
Evie was about to ask what exactly tampons and pads were, but Lonnie interrupted.
"Okay we'll get to that later," she said "What else did she teach you?"
Reciting from memory, Evie said, "From what I understand, the penis is inserted to a woman's vagina and the sperm travel from the testicles, through the urethra, and exits from the penis into the uterus. There, it meets the egg that traveled from the ovary, through the fallopian tube."
"Okay let's stop you right there," Jordan said with a laugh. "That's great information and all, but the way teachers teach it... It makes it all seem so technical and sometimes scary."
"Yeah," Lonnie agreed. "They make it seem like every time you have sex you'll end up getting pregnant."
Confused Evie asked, "Isn't that the whole point though? You have sex to get pregnant?"
"Mainly, yes," Lonnie answered. "But not always."
"There are some parts of the world where people just go around having sex with anybody and everybody," Jordan elaborated.
"But Fairy Godmother said it's for when two people really love each other," Evie stated.
The Auradon girls looked at each other, somber looks on their faces.
"In an ideal world, yes, it should," Jane said.
"Unfortunately there are people that don't care about whether the female gets pregnant or not," Jordan elaborated. "They do it because it feels good."
"It feels good?" Mal asked incredulously. "It sounds painful to me."
"Apparently it does the first time," Audrey confirmed. "But it's supposed to feel really good after."
"Have any of you guys…" Evie trailed off.
The Auradon girls shook their heads no.
"I've never had a boyfriend until Carlos," Jane informed, explaining her inexperience.
Jordan sighed. "Not worth my time, I have a talk show I need to work on."
"I believe in waiting for mister right," Audrey said with the social graces that any princess would have.
"I just never really got to that point," Lonnie confessed.
"Listen," Jordan said "We're here to help each other. If you have any questions, just let us know."
"We'll even teach you the art of masturbation, so if you're ever feeling…" Audrey trailed off. A princess never said anything too crude."
"Frustrated?" Jordan offered.
"Yes," Audrey said. "Then you can just have sex with yourself."
Evie and Mal looked at each other confused. "With yourself?" They echoed.
"It can be done," Lonnie confirmed. "And if you feel like you're getting pressured in anyway, not that Ben or Doug would pressure you guys. They're too much of a gentleman to do that. But if you feel pressured, just let us know."
"Us girls need to stick together," Jordan stated.
The Isle of the Lost girls blushed and murmured quick thank-you's to their Auradon native friends.
"Now," Lonnie said losing her serious demeanor and regaining her usual upbeat personality. "Down to the fun stuff."
"Anyone ever notice Jay has pretty big hands?" Jordan asked wagging her eyebrows.
The Auradon girls erupted in a fit of giggles before explaining the myth to their Isle counterparts.
Both groups of Auradon prep students spent the rest of the night talking about the opposite sex. What started out as teaching their Isle of the Lost friends about sex, inadvertently turned out to be more about relationships. Relationships with their significant other and with each other, their friends, something both the Isle and Auradon couldn't teach them. This was something they could only learn from experience.