This Halloween the most bizarre thing happened and I'm not quite sure what to make of it. As if possessed by some dark, evil entity, I decided I would write a Wildehopps story that didn't feel like an angst driven punch in the gut. Bizarre, I know, but I thought I would upload it regardless. I'll post the rest if you guys end up liking it.

…

"And there goes the point, come on guys!" The fox glared at his television screen and dropped his controller into his lap. Throwing himself back first into the nest of blankets he made on his apartment floor, he squirmed around in an attempt at finding a comfortable position to wallow in his tragic, digital defeat.

All things considered, though, this isn't a bad way to start the morning.

Sure, the autumnal haze October brings with it has encompassed Zootopia in earnest now, effectively snuffing out any light that would otherwise be shining through his windows at the moment; but he kinda liked the dreary atmosphere fall provided. It was nice and cozy and cold, which made the fact that he was so incredibly warm in this dinky little apartment he bought with his cop's salary all the more satisfying.

And oh baby does a warm cup of cheap store bought coffee sit just right in his stomach during mornings such as this one.

The icing on the cake, however, fills him with an even greater warmth.

Get ready for this.

Are you sitting down? You really ought to be.

It's a Sunday, and that means he has the morning free of a certain fluffy lieutenant altogether too partial towards the act of making him wake up at the most unholy of hours – 9:00 Am – before forcing him to go to work. Don't get the guy wrong, he enjoys his job, and he loves the bunny-

Wait

No

He enjoys his job, and he is platonically fond of the bunny, but having the morning off to play video games was a nice little get away. It was Nick time, and nobunny is going to ruin it.

Knock Knock Knock

"Niiiiiick" a familiar voice drawled. "Nick can I come in?"

Ah, goat dammit.

He sat upright, the next match had already started and he couldn't leave now.

"Judy?" he asked timidly.

"Open the door?" the voice on the other side requested.

"No…" he said, weighing the pros and cons of politely telling her to go away.

"No? What- Open the door!"

"But I'm playing video games…" he responded dejectedly.

"Then pause it!"

"Its online!" he replied.

"Then just turn it off!"

"I can't! There is a penalty for leaving the match early!"

"Nicholas Wilde, if you don't open this door so help me-"

"Coming, I'm coming!" he said, frantically scampering up from his little blanket fort and over to his front door, not without a few curses muttered under his breath.

The door swung open, revealing the rabbit, already bouncing on the balls of her feet. The grey bunny looked dressed for a day out in the burrows, oddly enough, with her pink flannel, tan khakis and sun hat. The rudely bright light of the hallway annoyed him.

"Know what day it is, slick?" she asks, a smile accenting her twitchy features.

"October…?" he reasoned.

The rabbit ceased her bouncing to shake her head and bite the corner of her cheek in disapproval. Wrong answer, it would seem. If that was all she had to ask, then he was just going to go back to his game.

And really, she should have consulted a calendar before bothering him.

"You have no idea what today is?" came her next question.

"Should I?"

The rabbit spun around in a three sixty before facing him again, her mouth opened wide in shock, her paws gripping at her ears in frustration.

"Nick, You promised!"

Wait

It couldn't be her birthday, that wasn't for another few months.

It couldn't be a work day, it was Sunday; he made certain of that fact.

It couldn't be that today is laundry day, she wouldn't have made such a big deal about it.

"I'm… sorry?"

"Nick, do you honestly not know what I'm talking about?" she said, lowering her voice as she continued to speak. The door to a neighboring apartment was ajar, the occupant no doubt listening intently to their conversation. "Tomorrow is Halloween, does that mean anything to you?"

"It means that…"

The bunny nodded, waiting expectantly.

"…that I shouldn't open my door under any conditions tomorrow evening." He said, placing a clawed paw on the door frame, leaning against it with smug satisfaction.

Victory

"Today is the day you promised we would take my group of siblings out to go shopping for their costumes."

The machinery in the fox's brain worked tirelessly for a good fifteen seconds trying to decipher what he had just heard. A cryptic message, she almost made it seem like she expected him to leave his apartment this fine Sunday. Such an oddity, what could she have possibly meant? The smug grin slowly fell from his muzzle, landing on the floor with a silent thud, signifying a horrifying moment of realization. He pressed his paws to his closed maw and shut his eyes as if he were in the middle of some devout prayer.

"Judy?" he asked.

"Uh-huh?"

"Why the fuck did we wait so long to do this?"

"Every time I asked, you insisted that you were busy!" she shouted with her arms stretched wide, raising her voice a little too loud once more.

He dropped to his knees in front of her, meeting her eye to eye so that they may continue their conversation a little more candidly. Without saying a word, he rested his paw on her shoulder.

"You know you aren't supposed to let me lie to you. We both know I had nothing better to do."

"I-" the bunny breathed out, attempting to defend herself. "Yeah, I know…" she admitted, disappointed in herself.

But not nearly as disappointed as he was. How could she let this happen? Now look at the trouble they're in. Why, if Miss responsible rabbit over here was a bit more responsible, her siblings would likely already have their Halloween costumes picked out and ready for a pleasant night of trick or treating. Now they are going to have to settle for whatever is leftover in the crummy Halloween stores down in the burrows.

Well, at least it isn't his fault this time. None of the blame could really be attributed to him, not in any way, shape or form, but if there is any personality trait he relates to most in this world, its benevolence. He'll get her out of this mess, if it's the last thing he does.

"Don't worry carrots, I'll get you out of this mess, if it's the last thing I do."

She scowled at him, furrowing her brow and brushing his paw off her shoulder.

"Whatever, just put some pants on so that we can leave."

The fox looked down, only to find that he was clad exclusively in his boxers, hung loose around his waist.

"Truth be told though, I kinda like the pattern." She offered, pointing out the little carrots that adorned his shorts.

With a violent blush – luckily hidden by his already cherry orange fur – he slammed the door in her face.

.

.

.

"Hey! At least let me inside!" the rabbit shouts.

"Please?"

…

"Right, right-" the fox laughed at the rabbit's offhand comment about his story, feet up on the dashboard of the truck as they drove down the dirt path to Judy's childhood home. "And so I slip the king of spades into my coat pocket and, voila! I'm a hundred and thirty-five bucks richer!"

The rabbit laughed aloud, nearly veering off the road. She took a moment to wipe a single tear out from under her eye, sniveling as she did so. "Oh, I would have loved to arrest you in that very moment, you sinister little card shark. You know that?"

Nick laughed back, his violent cackling shaking the drivers compartment of the banged-up jalopy a tad. "Good thing I'm a reformed mammal then. Wouldn't want Officer Toot Toot on my tail, now would I?" The bunny drew her attention from the steering wheel to give him a well-deserved sucker punch to his arm. Rubbing the area as he continued to laugh, the fox continued: "But if I'm being honest, I think I could get away."

"Think so?" she challenged, her eyes on the road, a coy smile on her muzzle.

"I do." He replied in a sing-song voice. "I've got quite the bag of tricks you know, it isn't easy catching old slick Nick out.

"Really?" she mocked, faux surprise lacing her tone of voice. "Well, how many tricks have you got in that bag of yours?"

He thought for a moment, looking up as he pondered.

"At the very least, seventeen whole tricks."

"Woaaaah…" she gasped, her voice still incredulous. "Seventeen entire tricks? You're right, that does amount to a bag of tricks."

He snorted.

"I don't need you to tell me that, I've done the math." He said, leaning further back in his seat as he stretched his legs. "I'll tell you what though, carrots, if you're a good little bunny – and promise not to hit me for the rest of the day – I might teach you a thing or two."

Pulling into her family's dusty drive way, Judy opened the driver side door and hopped out, kicking up a dirt cloud as she landed.

"Well, I reckon you've got yourself a deal." She said, Nick stepping out of the truck to join her.

"Good." He said, brushing stray flecks of dirt off his pants and tie. "But I've got another stipulation. I get that we're in country bumpkin land now, the place where you were raised, but try not to use the word 'reckon'. It makes you come off as a bit dorky. You know, more so than you already are."

The rabbit balled her paw into a fist only to let it gently fall back down to her side.

"Well, we wouldn't want either of us looking dorky, now would we?"

"No way" he replied.

"We're cops after all. Gotta keep professional." She continued.

"Right."

.

.

.

"Sleep with one eye open tonight scruff."

With her threat – or better yet, promise – spoken in no uncertain terms, she walked with her companion to the front door of the old Hopp's family household. The wooden exterior was as charming as it had been the last time he visited, leading into a mound of earth behind it, the typical bunny burrow from which the district derived its name. Several windows stuck out from the bulbous dirt, likely connecting the rooms of innumerable rabbits to the outside world.

No Halloween decorations though.

"Say, isn't ole' pumpkin day supposed to be really big in this area?" Nick asked the rabbit standing next to him as she knocked on the door.

"Yeah, the paths flood with trick or treaters come Halloween night."

"Then what's with the lack of spooky decorations? We passed by three burrows on our way over that were scarier than most horror houses in the main district, and all I see on this dirt mound are a few cob webs."

If he didn't know any better, he'd say that those are probably only there due to the Hopps being too lazy to clean the place up, but he understood them to be very anal retentive mammals and gave them the benefit of the doubt. In all likelihood, they really were there for the august aesthetic.

"We used to get real busy round this time of year, being the top producers for fall harvest and all. Doesn't look like this years any different." Judy breathed out, slightly disappointed. "That's not to say that we can't fix the place up tonight though, right?"

The fox squirmed a little bit in his fur.

"Aw Geez, honestly carrots, left to my own devices, I'd probably just go back home and take a nap after all this is said and done."

She patted his side gently with one paw, knocking on the wooden door in front of them with the other once more.

"Good thing you aren't, red, good thing you aren't."

.

.

.

"So… does it usually take this long for somebunny to come around and answer the door?" the fox asked, growing tired of being kept waiting.

"No…"

It was kinda chilly outside.

Knock Knock Knock

"Mom?"

Knock Knock Knock

"Anyone?"

It was like, really chilly.

It took a while, but soon enough they heard the pitter patter of floppy rabbit feet striking the hard-wood paneling of the floor in the house. Good thing too, any longer out here and he may have needed to snuggle with Judy for warmth, and taking into consideration his previous comments he made a mental note that such a situation would be most unfavorable for him.

"Who's that with you?" came a meek, effeminate voice from behind the door.

"Who's asking?" Judy said, folding her arms and raising an eyebrow, looking directly into the peephole.

"Joey is asking." The voice replied.

"Well, can joey open the door for his big sis and her good friend Nicholas Wilde?"

"I don't know, Ma told me not to talk to strangers, and you're pretty strange."

The doe standing on the outside of the door frowned.

"Don't be speciesist Joey-"

"I was talking about you. The fox looks like a nice enough guy."

"Open the door!"

"Opening!"

The tumblers turned and clicked, the rabbit and fox stood out in the cold; eyeing the door knob intently. Suddenly, the entire porch shook. Heavy footsteps came rumbling from the other side of the door.

"I'll get it!" a coarse young voice bellowed.

"Charlie, wait! I'm going to fall!" the feebler of the two warned.

"I've got it!" the voice replied.

"Stop!"

There came a heavy crashing, the sound of which made Nick cringe. Judy stood with her arms still folded, her gaze fixed on the door, irritated but not at all surprised.

After a few more dreadful moments – the fox still standing there in suspense and confusion – the wooden door swung open gently, revealing a smiling, chubby little bunny standing proudly before them. Another rabbit, presumably joey, reeled in pain on the floor; the step stool he had used to reach the peephole lying upturned on the ground beside him.

"Hi, I'm Charlie!" the little bruiser said, holding his paw out to Nick.

"No hello for your big sister?"

"Nope!" he said, just as cheerily as before.

"Nick Wilde!" the fox replied, matching the rabbits happy tone as they shook paws.

Judy stepped inside the house, helping Joey up and onto his little feet as the two fools behind her exchanged greetings.

More footsteps could be heard coming right for them. Letting go of the chubby bunny's paw, the fox cringed. How many more of these things were there? This time the feet walked with a plodding pace, accompanied by lighter steps which, had you not been paying close attention, you may have missed all together.

Their owners turned the corner.

A short bunny in a little pink onesie held paws with an even shorter rabbit, his cheeks nice and plump, a cereal bowl grasped firmly in his free paw. They stood at the end of the corridor, eyes on the fox.

"Looks like the gangs all here! Glad you could make it guys." Judy said with a gentle smile, gesturing for the two younger siblings to join the rest of them near the front door.

Cautiously, they took the remaining few steps to join the rest of the group. Judy shut the front door to prevent the frigid breeze from chilling them any more than it already had.

The kits continued to stare at the fox.

"Hi there, kiddo…" Nick said to the shortest of the bunch, waving his open paw awkwardly at the r.

The little one said nothing, refusing to break his gaze.

"Whatcha got there?" the fox continued, pointing gingerly at the bowl of cereal in his paws.

"Deeyos" the little one replied matter-o-factly, not bothering to take his eyes off the guy.

"What?"

"I gotta a sum deeyos!" he shouted sternly.

Nick stumbled backwards, surprised to find that such a tiny mammal could muster up such an irritated tone of voice.

"Cereal, he has cereal." The bunny in the onesie explained sheepishly. "He has a speech impediment."

The fox's features softened further.

"Impediment…" Nick mused, chuckling to himself a little. "That's a big word for someone your age to be using. What's your name?"

"Claire. Papa says that I'm a smart kit."

"Papa's right." Judy said, putting her paw gently behind the backs of the youngest kits. Let's go into your room and sit down. There's a lot to talk about before we head on out."

"and your name, kiddo?" Nick asked the little cereal bearing one as they followed the doe.

"Edum" he replied.

"His name is Edmund." Claire said, brushing the fur on his head back.

Joey attempted to walk after them; only to be pushed out of the way by Charlie, eager to be at the front of the group.

…

Crawling on his paws and knees, Nick barely managed to fit through the door to the kit's bedroom. Luckily, it was a lot more spacious then he had expected it to be. The boys ran to their closets, picking out their clothes for the day.

Edmund handed his half-eaten bowel of cheerios to his sister, who simply smiled as he walked back over to the closet to get dressed. She didn't move, electing instead to stand close to Judy.

"Should Claire change before we go out?" Nick whispered.

Judy snickered.

"You can ask her to, but she won't. She wears that onesie everywhere she goes. It's hard enough to get the damn thing washed. I can't imagine her going an entire hour without it."

"Noted" he replied.

…

Nick tried his best to mingle with the kids as he stood outside the family burrow, anxiously waiting for Judy to step outside. She said she had to get a few things and that he should be fine taking care of the little ones for a few short minutes.

Just a few short minutes.

They clamored for his attention and argued, chasing one another here and there. Eventually breaking away from the rest of the group, Edmund approached Nick by himself, a blank look held on his face.

"Hey there." Nick said, wearing his best smile.

"Wan see ma pack-pack?" the little one asked, staring upwards at him with a look of inquiry.

"Sure… I guess." Nick replied.

With a flourish, the little rabbit spun around, revealing a tiny backpack with a cartoon bunny sewn into the front patch. Nick was surprised to find that his forced smile was being replaced by a real one all too quickly.

"Wow, cool!" he said, crouching down so that he could better be on the level of the tiny tot.

"Hank, mama did it."

"Did she now…" Nick said, holding in a chuckle. He thinks he got that one.

"Alright, gather around kids!" Judy said, exiting the house. Behind her stood another female rabbit who looked to be around her age.

The mammals – Nick included – scampered over to the doe like the children they are. They attentively awaited her next words.

"Oh, am I glad to see you." Nick whispered to her. "I'm just no good with kits."

Judy waved him off.

"Really carrots, I-"

"So, are you guys ready for Nick to take you costume shopping?"

The fox stood there, processing what she had just said. It's funny, because it almost sounded like he was going to be taking them out all by his lonesome, which would be a terrible idea. Thankfully, she wasn't foolish enough to make that decision.

"Trish and I are going to decorate while you're out, and when you get back you can help us, sound good?" She nodded at the doe standing behind her, presumably the Trish in question.

She was foolish enough to make that decision.

Cries of excitement erupted from the group of kits, starkly contrasting the horrified expression that now fit snug as a bug in a rug on the fox's face.

His partner turned to him, the corners of her muzzle lifting upwards into a jeering smile.

"Go on Foxy, open up your bag of tricks. I'm willing to wager that all of them put together won't be getting you out of this one."

Nick looked around himself in horror. Edmund clung tightly to his leg, Claire taking hold of his belly. Joey held fast to his back and Charlie hopped atop Joey to take hold of the fox's head. Oh goat, oh goat she was right. Nothing will save him from the paws and cuddles of these demons.

And so, he was consumed.

By their adoration.

Unfortunately, he was still very much alive and would have to drag them through the streets of bunny burrow.

There is a moral somewhere in this story, but it was lost on him.

...

Yikes, fluff. Hope it wasn't too icky, we'll return to your regularly scheduled sob-fest shortly. Speaking of sob-fests, for those interested, the third chapter of "What I Didn't Do" (You know, the angst porn?) is underway! Here, accept this sneak peek as a peace offering:

"And then they did."

Welp, that settles that! See you next time, and if you'd like to see more, please do leave a review!Opening Authors Note: This Halloween the most bizarre thing happened and I'm not quite sure what to make of it. As if possessed by some dark, evil entity, I decided I would write a Wildehopps story that didn't feel like an angst driven punch in the gut. Bizarre, I know, but I thought I would upload it regardless. I'll post the rest if you guys end up liking it.