"Nope, I can't do it."
After another attempt at sleep he is awake, pupils locked on the ceiling of Penny's bedroom. Heart racing and face fixed in an irritatingly alert grimace.
Amy sighed wearily. "But we've been living in Penny's apartment for almost two weeks? What's changed?" she groaned from the other side of the bed.
Agitated, he propped himself up into a seated position. "I swear I can still smell roses," he was eyeing the bathroom suspiciously.
"Penny uses apple shampoo, apple! There's no roses, you're imagining things."
"I am not imagining anything, there's roses and vanilla and cinnamon…". Sniff! "…and I swear I did smell something burning. There's Penny smell everywhere."
Amy drew in a large breath through her nostrils but couldn't detect anything. They had cleaned that bathroom from top to bottom and her now heavy eyelids just wished that annoying boyfriend of hers would "Go to sleep already!" Too tired to yell, she groaned. "The plumbing will be fixed on Friday, so you can move back to 4a whenever you like."
"Leonard and Penny don't want me to move back."
"Did they say that?"
"No, I can tell."
Amy pulled herself up onto her elbows and turned to face him. "Stop being paranoid. They can't stop you moving back…if you really want too?" Placing the emphasis on the end of the sentence, she secretly hoped that he didn't, but knew that leaving that apartment was the biggest upheaval of his adult life.
"No, they can't stop me but Leonard told me today that he thinks it's time I moved in with you anyway…" an instant smile broke out on Amy's lips. "He does?" she asked hopefully.
"…it's a terrible idea, of course," he said, and her grin dropped away in disappointment.
"Well, you'll have to stay here then," she huffed and turned away from him under the bright orange comforter.
He sniffed the air once more. "Roses, yes it was roses, but I don't smell anything now that I'm awake. How puzzling."
"Sheldon, stop it! We've cleared everything out, the shampoo, all the lotions and potions. There's no smell preventing you from sleeping."
"Nothing is preventing me from sleeping," he corrected her.
Amy frowned "Then what's wrong with you?" she exclaimed.
"It's all the dreams."
The brunette let her anger ebb away to sympathy and said in a monotonic softer tone. "You've having bad dreams?"
"Not bad dreams, just… dreams."
"Well, don't you usually dream?"
"Of course. My REM cycle is fully functional. I dream about quantum equations, winning the Nobel Prize with my quantum equations, eating pizza with Stan Lee, riding the train with Stan Lee, holding my Nobel Prize trophy. Spock, Spock taking me into the future, Spock and Stan Lee taking me into the future with my Nobel…"
"OKAY, I get it!"
His jaw shut quickly at the outburst. "So what's the problem then?!"
"I smell roses in my dreams and then I see Penny. Not always in the foreground of the dream, just somewhere on the sidelines, watching, or waiting nearby. The smell of roses becomes so strong that I wake up but then I don't smell anything."
Amy felt a prick of jealously and confusion. "You're dreaming about Penny?"
"Yes, constantly."
This made no sense to Amy at all. Sheldon's subconscious shouldn't be dreaming about his roommate's wife. She forced away the negative thoughts that clambered in and tried to approach it logically. "Maybe the wedding triggered something?"
"Perhaps."
"I think you should move into my place!" It just came out.
Sheldon eyed her grumpily.
"T-t-to help you get rid of the dreams." she lied.
The next day, Amy informed Leonard and Penny that Sheldon had agreed to complete the temporary experiment at her apartment, instead of 4B. She failed to tell her friends that living at 4B was causing Sheldon to dream about Penny. They really didn't need to know that uncomfortable fact! She told herself that it was just his hypersensitivity to environment causing this new problem and it seems scientifically plausible. Maybe Sheldon's nose could detect traces so small that only a good forensics team would pick them up and she was sure that he would soon stop dreaming about Penny when he was no longer in that apartment. Luckily Leonard and Penny seemed very supportive of the new experiment and hadn't asked any questions.
A few days later in the dead of night, after her husband had left to go and spend the evening at the Comic Book store, the pretty blonde burnt a slip of parchment over a naked flame. A little potion pot bubbled on the stove, filling the air with vanilla and cinnamon.
She recited her incantation…
"Queen wind of the East, far and fair, take these ashes which I share, blow them to loves great gate, with them clear my past love slate…."
"As I will so mote it be." her little friend added. With a puff Penny blew the ashes away.
"It better work this time," she moaned.
Bernadette frowned, raised a blade and began dicing rose petals. "My family have used this commitment spell for generations. It works." she snarled at her friends lack of faith.
"I really hope so. We've only just got married and I'm already feeling bored again."
With a shake of her curls Bernadette turned to her friend and sighed sympathetically. "You expect too much Penny, love takes hard work."
"I am working at it. Leonard doesn't have a clue I feel this way. I ignore all his annoying little habits, the squinting, the wheezing while he sleeps, the ever-growing belly but I just need this little spell to cleanse my heart so I can get back that first flush of love."
"We did this same spell last week," Bernadette said.
"We must have missed something. I don't feel any different. Leonard turned down the thermostat the other night and I jumped down his throat."
Bernadette knew they hadn't missed anything and was concerned that the long cherished spell hadn't taken effect. Penny just seemed even more annoyed by her husband than ever. "But you always said the thermostat was up too high?"
"I know! Sheldon made us keep it at 72 degrees." She was staring off into space. "I guess I must have got used to it," she said dreamily.
Bernadette looked into Penny's misty eyes, "You miss him."
"Nooooo!"
"You do!" This surprised Bernadette.
"Okay, I guess I do."
"That's crazy, he made your life hell."
The blonde was drifting off again, a soft look on her face. "He wasn't that bad, he was…"
"Penny, concentrate!" Bernadette snapped impatiently and sprinkled the rose petals into the potion and they both chanted.
"Though the candle doth go out, this sweet love spell hath no doubt, hearts desires, all manner of, bring me back my one true love."
All of a sudden the front door opened wide and in stepped Sheldon Cooper dragging a large case behind him.
"I'm back," he announced, as though he had just returned from a trip away.
This intrusion caused both girls to jump, they had expected to have the apartment to themselves for several hours.
"I'm sorry Penny." Leonard said, as he entered the apartment a few steps behind Sheldon, looking extremely depressed. "Sheldon insisted that I bring him back tonight."
Penny gave him a big strained smile and rushed forward to block his view of the kitchen, as Bernadette swept the spell ingredients off the counter and into her handbag. Leonard didn't believe in that sort of thing and she didn't enjoy his mocking on the subject.
"W-w-what happened?" she asked awkwardly and peaked his cheek with a chaise kiss.
Sheldon carefully parked the case next to the couch and sat down. Letting out a long sigh of contentment as he settled his butt down into his spot. "Nothing happened, Penny…" he began, in his usual derisive way and was about to launch into a lengthy explanation about how five weeks were up, and experiments must conclude in order to gather data, and how he never intended to move in permanently anyway, when their eyes locked and all thoughts instantly left him.
Bernadette tipped the potion down the sink while no one was paying attention to her and then stepped away from the counter. "Soooo, is Howard home now too?" she asked nervously.
"No, he's still at the Comic Book store with Raj." Leonard said.
"So why did you leave so early?" she asked.
He shrugged in bewilderment. "We didn't go. I went to pick Sheldon up from Amy's apartment and when I arrived he already had a case packed and demanded to be brought back here. I tried to reason with him but it was useless."
"Oh dear, did he have a fight with Amy?"
"I don't know but she's very angry and upset about something. God knows what he's done this time."
"Sheldon, what have you done?" Bernadette said, directing her accusation towards the physicist. Annoyance turning to puzzlement, as she realised that Sheldon and Penny were still staring at one another and hadn't spoken since he sat down.
"Sheldon?" she asked once more but the pair remained transfixed as though in a trance. She slapped her hands together loudly. "SHELDON!" she bellowed.
Stirring, the tall man turned his head. "Oh Bernadette, hello, I didn't see you there." He said pleasantly, with a contented smile on his lips.
Leonard was feeling distinctly uncomfortable and exchanged glances with Bernadette. "See what I mean! He's crazier than usual. He keeps waffling on about his dreams," he said.
"Sheldon…" Bernadette asked in a soft, deliberate voice. '…what is it? Why have you moved back in?"
"I needed to be near my little rose petal," he said and Penny gave him a shy flirtatious giggle.
"Oh god!" Realising what had happened, Bernadette grasped her friends' arm and pulled her away from the beautiful blue-eyed man. "Penny, it's the spell!" she spat.
"What?" the blonde said, her eyes wandering back towards the man on the couch, who gazed at her adoringly. "What are you talking about?"
"We messed up, it's the spell!" she muttered under her breath.
Leonard stepped towards Sheldon, who seemed to be slightly dazed and he wondered whether the move to Amy's apartment had pushed him over the edge. Perhaps his ex-roommate had finally lost what few marbles he had left. Nevertheless, he wanted to set the record straight. "I'm sorry Sheldon, but Penny and I have discussed things and we want to live alone now. You can move back to her old apartment but not back here with us. Do you understand what I'm saying?" he said, he waited but Sheldon was not responding. "Tell him Penny?" he said.
"He can move back."
"Huh?" Leonard gasped.
"I said, he can move back in."
Increasingly fluttered, the short man began to pace, wringing his hands. "B-but we discussed this. You don't even get on with each other!" he said.
"On the contrary." Sheldon interjected. "Penny is the one person who has always understood me. We are in perfect synergy."
"Perfect what?"
"Synergy Leonard. It's when the combined power of a group of objects, or people, is greater than the total power by each separately."
"I know what synergy means!" he barked.
"Well, then, then you will know that Penny is the most influential person in life. I just don't know what I'd do without her. I had to come back, I've long said that I admired Penny."
"You've NEVER said that?" he bellowed.
"Of course I have. Don't be stupid Leonard. Penny is my rock."
"Awww…" she gushed and tried to move closer so she could wrap her arms about those long slender limbs and feel his touch but Bernadette had a tight grip on her arm. The pair continued to make moon-eyes at each other across the room.
Leonard smiled at last. "You guys are just playing some kind of joke on me."
"It's no joke, I love him." Penny said.
"You what?"
"I love Sheldon."
"B-but you love me."
"No, Sheldon is my one true love."
"Are you drunk? You're my wife!"
"Oh shut up Leonard! The wedding was a mistake."
"I did try to tell him that." Sheldon said and shook his head in dismay.
"Oh shut up Sheldon!" he rasped.
"Don't you tell my sweet Moonpie to shut up!" she sulked.
Leonard threw his hands up in frustration. "What the hell is going on?"
At that point Bernadette felt she had to come clean. "We did a spell." She admitted.
Silence for a few seconds and then a tiny chuckle escaped Leonard's lips. "You mean… like a witches spell." He was smiling in amusement now.
"Yes, exactly like a witches spell."
"But that's… nonsense." His shoulders relaxed. "You're a scientist Bernadette. Surely you don't believe in such things."
"I am a scientist but I am also a witch."
"Don't be silly!"
"You dare challenge me!" There was something unnerving about her stare and Leonard felt it wasn't wise to anger her. He gulped and shook his head.
"We did a spell to strengthen Penny's affections but we miscalculated."
"Miscalculated?" He could play along with this.
"We made the spell too broad. Appealing to Penny's 'one true love' believing that you were he. We were wrong. Penny's one true love is obviously not you, it's Sheldon."
Leonard had had enough of this. "Stop this. It's crazy!"
"I'm inclined to agree. Witchcraft is total hokum," Sheldon added, and Leonard nodded as he finally felt that some sense was returning to the conversation and then Sheldon added. "I've always loved Penny, you know that."
Bernadette gave Leonard a smug look. "Told ya!"
"You have to fix this." Leonard appealed to the witch.
"I can't. The truth is out. I didn't make Penny love Sheldon, all I did was lift the veil."
"Well put it back!"
Penny had escaped her friends' grasp and had been sitting next to her beloved, gently stroking his hand, lost in the bluest of eyes. She turned to the door and said. "Leonard, I think you should move into my old apartment. Sheldon and I would like to be alone."
"But we're married." He whined.
"I know a good lawyer." Sheldon said.
"Aww, see how thoughtful he is." Penny said.
"Thoughtful?!"
Penny rose from her seat and walked towards the short man. No wonder the spells hadn't been working, it was never meant to happen between them and she should never had ignored her early reluctance. A set of keys flew through the air and Leonard caught them and she backed him out the open door.
"I can't live in 4B." he protested.
"Sure you can, think of it as an experiment." And she closed the door.